"I hide my love in my prayer rug, in the beads of my prayer beads tuck your name. I fly the hope that we will meet in a contract that you say.
I do not know when...
Or someday...
Let Allah show my heart and you to become halal lovers...
May his blessing bring me and you"
-Khadija-
I began to stare pensively at the ceiling of my room. I sat on a long prayer rug that lay on the floor of my room.
At that time I started to whisper a word through my deepest feelings for him. Even if it's just giving a signal in the form of prayers that I fly to the sky so that he hears it.
Hiding a feeling, it's very heavy. In fact, only able to say it through tasbih.
"I hum your name above my love rug, I hope you are the hidden Adam, somewhere in the world," I began to prostrate in a third of my night. Saying my every prayer and request for him. Although many people say that loving in silence is useless, let alone mentioning the name of someone we love. But for me the most beautiful way is to ask God to bring someone we love closer through the prayers we always say.
I always pray that Allah will show me a good Way about him. Because I don't want to rush into this feeling. Allah is enough for me to give instructions and the most beautiful scenario in my life.
After I finished performing the tahajjud prayer along with chanting the holy verses of the Koran, I felt my heart was very happy. When I read Surah Al Hadid, I accidentally imagined the smile of a man named Rumi. He made me turn my world. His smile and speech can make this heart fall in love for the first time. Everything about him is in my memory. I hope that he will become an important man in my life.
"O Allah, do I deserve to know him, and do I deserve to expect him to be my halal lover?" I began to ask God about him which made me even more curious and in love. He made my heart skip a beat. Even my eyes never leave the shadow. "Could I possibly be able to get him to know me?"
In my prostration came the name "Rumi". The man I always hoped to be her partner.
Dear Allah,
Since I started listening to his chants, I really started to fall in love with him. I know he is too perfect to be the man of my dreams. Just nearby I feel the aroma of heaven and a true comfort. Her smile is so soothing. You could say that he is like Adam from heaven. I just want to be the Eve that Adam has always loved, I also don't want my love to tarnish his faith. O Allah, meet me with him through your blessing which always guides you in heaven. I really want him, for me loving him is happy for me.
To you "Dear Adam" in my heart.
One thing I like about Rumi is his morals, I met him several times.
The next day....
The sound of birds chirping is heard, I open my eyes at 07.00. I got out of my king size bed. Then, my feet hit the floor.
I tried to stand up, even though my life was still not fully collected. I walked towards the bathroom.
I wash my face in the sink, then I open my face wash and rinse.
I took a brush and toothpaste, then I brushed my teeth. I turned on the faucet on the bath up to soak, but before that I closed the bathroom door tightly.
"Argh, my stomach hurts" I felt my stomach troubled.
I sat in the bathroom closet while enjoying something relaxing.
*
On campus at 09.00, I saw it was still quiet in class. Incidentally, I only took one course, as a closing course for this last semester.
"Dijah, why did you come first?"
Fabian looked at me in surprise.
"Yes, I just want to, Fab. Instead of meeting Ridwan at home. Huft, I swear I just want to stay in a boarding house if necessary."
Fabian was silent.
"What are you reading, Dijah?"
"This is just reading an article about anti-aging tips."
"Don't tell me you want to try embroidery?"
Fabian narrowed his eyes at me.
"Do you know Bella?"
"Yes, how do I know, Dijah. If I may say, most of them are artists who are not naturally beautiful, who eat food. You are beautiful too, Dijah."
"Seriously? Am I pretty?"
"Yes, your beautiful heart, why sometimes you don't realize when the beauty in your heart comes out."
"Thanks, Fab. For the compliment, but I don't have any spare change."
"Damn you, Dijah."
I laughed and he started to fall off.
*
Campus cafe at twelve o'clock. Khadijah, Sera and Fabian sat on cafe bench number seven. The three of them looked very nervous. The three of them are working on a thesis.
Khadijah started to take out her laptop and some books for her thesis.
"Ser, what message do you want?"
"Just order lemon tea for me, Fab."
"You, Dijah?"
"Hot latte coffee."
"Okay, I'm ordering for you now."
Fabian headed to the ordering desk.
"Eh, Dijah. Where are you going after this? Are you staying in Seoul or not?"
"I think I want to go back to Surabaya, I'm tired of living in the country of Korean oppas."
"Eh, how is your father, after so long?"
Khadijah stopped typing.
"Yeah, fine. It's just that when I remember my mother, I like pain. And, I'm worried, what if my father finds out that my mother has remarried to Uncle Haqi?"
"How complicated is your family?"
"Yes, that's why I and Hasan will keep it a secret until the time comes."
"Hey, you guys talking about my handsomeness?"
"Haisss, handsome from Hong Kong?"
"Hey, Fab!" who is a beautiful woman like a Korean actress.
"Hi, Kiena. Want to join you here?"
"Can you?"
"Yes, beautiful. What's wrong with Kiena?" said Sera while making small talk. "Actually, I want to throw up seeing Fabian's pretentious handsome attitude. However, I get jealous when he starts to seduce other women. Actually, I feel there, but I can't see it! Fix I'm jealous, but he won't be sensitive."
Sera began to frown and thought to herself, while Khadijah was enjoying a cup of latte that had just been served by the campus cafe waitress.
"Hot latte coffee is indeed the best among other coffees, with double shoot expressso. Oh, it's really thick with a delicious milk blend, even with heart art."
Khadijah just enjoys a cup of coffee latte.
"Dijah, let's go."
Sera began to whimper, unable to stand looking at two pairs of humans who were making love.
"You are jealous?" Khadija whispered.
"No! Who's jealous!" Sera denied.
"Eh, who's jealous?" said Fabian.
"Mouse!" said Sera.
Khadijah already knew that Sera had liked Fabian long ago, but she never told Khadijah. Khadijah had already memorized the suspicious movements Sera had made.
"Ugh, you're really annoying, Fab. Why don't you ever be sensitive to me?"
"You never even found out about me, can you understand, my heart still loves you."
I stared in disbelief, for a moment in a heart that only he was chosen.
This woman is physically beautiful, while I'm just an ordinary woman.
Kiena Anatasha Lee, the son of a television entrepreneur in Seoul. She is a popular student, but she is still a 3rd semester student.
"Ser?"
"Dijah, let's go back, why is it hot in here?"
"It's hot because there is a jealous fire," said Suho.
"Ish, Suho. You said I was jealous?"
"Look at your face, it looks really jealous."
"I'm not jealous!" I snapped.
Fabian looks like an innocent human, even looking at each other, occasionally he strokes Kiana's hair. It was as if my heart was raging in the fire of jealousy.
Suho pulled me, then I tried to release his grip, then he stole my lips.
All eyes watched it, the kiss lasted in ten seconds, while Fabian looked at me and Suho who were kissing.
"From now on you are my lover, Ser."
I just gawked without saying yes or no, then he inaugurated it himself without my consent.
"SUHO!" I shouted loudly, then he kissed me back not letting me nag.
Fabian also rose from his seat.
"Congratulations, Ser. Finally, there is also a boy who likes you."
As if the congratulations that came out of Fabian's mouth made me frown. I should have been, yes, words should have made me happier, if you were the one with me instead of another man.
Khadijah began to smile, "Congratulations, yes."
"Suho, why do you do it when he's around?! what if he just walks away? What about my love?" I mumbled inwardly. I felt so annoyed seeing Suho's disgusting behavior.
*