Have you ever considered the purpose of going to high school or to college? The future may seem hazy right now, but do you think you will find a job someday?
That's what I used to think, back when I finished my compulsory education & became a high school student. I had not considered the Future. I'd only felt joy at being nearly free from any obligation. I never even considered the incredible influence that school would continue to have in my life, on my future. I didn't even understand the purpose behind studying language or numbers.
.
.
.
.
April. The school entrance ceremony. I rode the train from a certain place to reach my new High School, which was a little too far to reach by bus, first you have to take the train, then another taxi to reach there, it was nowhere near the city.
While I looked idly out my window, watching the city's scenery change, the train picked up more & more passengers.
Was I excited? "No".
Was I happy? "No".
After reaching the station & getting into another cab, I sighed, it was a really a pain in the butt to get there & yes it cost me a little bit too much money.
After I got off the taxi, I saw a huge porcelain white colored fate waiting just ahead. All the young boys & girls dressed in school uniforms were passing through the gate.
Now let me give you some much needed info about this school.
The Government had created Advanced Nurturing High School or in short ANH with the express purpose of developing future leaders. Its passing rate was 100% except some minor setbacks & students from this school were evaluated in much higher regards than in any other.
I mean practically a student from this school can literally become a CEO of a multi-billion dollar company in just 2 years.
The Govt. was pouring billions of dollars every year for the sake of making the future brighter.
And This would be my school from now on.
Take a deep breath. All right, here we go!
First things first, I disliked the entrance ceremony. Some social butterflies would have liked it, but not me. The principal & the students exchanged excessive & pointless words of gratitude, there was far too much time spent standing in lines, and, with so many unnecessary & irritating things to deal with. It was just a huge pain the ass.
But those weren't my only complaints.
The entrance ceremonies for elementary school, junior high & high school all literally mean the same freaking thing; the start of another hellish trial for children. In order for students to enjoy their time at school, they must make friends, and there are only a few days after the entrance ceremony to properly do that. Failure to do so mark the beginning of a rather tragic three years, like you get the title of "Loner" bestowed upon you, before you even understand the meaning of Friendship.
So what I have to do now?
Establish proper relationships, I mean make friends, and as a person who hates trouble & follows some golden rules written by some legend, I have gone through so many different scenarios in my mind that I have lost count.
For instance, should I burst into the classroom & actively start talking to everyone? Should I pass around a slip of paper with my name & contact info written on it, so as to better befriend someone? Someone like me needed practice, a lot of practice, because this environment was so different from what I had experienced so far. I was completely isolated. I had ventured alone into the battlefield, and it was too late to turn back.
Looking around the classroom, I walked towards the seat, which had my name written on it. It was at the back of the room in the last row, near the window a nice place to sit. As I looked around, I saw the room was already filled with students. Many of them were either immersed in their class materials or already talking with others. Perhaps they'd all been friends beforehand or had recently got acquainted with each other.
Well then, what should I do? Take action during this free time & try to meet some new people?
The seat beside was empty & in front of me, a rather skinny boy with round glasses sat at his desk, hunching over. Perhaps it was my imagination, but he appeared lonely.
The boy excluded an aura that seemed to shout, "Please someone talk to me, I need friends!" However if you just went up to someone & start talking, you might be bothering them. Should you wait for the right time? But then you might wait for far too long & be left friendless.
I just had to…No, no, wait, I could not be hasty, I have to be rational. If I started a thoughtless conversation with someone I did not know, I ran the risk of making serious social gaffe.
Not good. I had to do something quick & I was getting trapped in a downward spiral.
In the end, I couldn't talk to anyone at all.
At this rate, I'd be completely alone.
Had I heard someone say, "Is he still all alone?"
Had I heard someone chuckling?
Perhaps it was all in my head.
What on earth are "friends," anyway? Where do friends even come from? Do people become friends after sharing meal together? Can you become friends with someone after you walk to the bathroom together for the first time?
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered: What is Friendship? Is it something deep & meaningful? Do I really need friends to survive 3 years of high school? I tried to piece it together.
Trying to make friends was incredibly bothersome & tiring. Besides, don't human relationships tend to form naturally?
My thoughts were all over the place, as though a raucously loud festival was being staged inside my mind.
While I sat lost in a haze, the classroom quickly filled.
Fine. Whatever. Nothing ventured, nothing gain right?
After a long period of conflict, I finally began to rise from my seat. However…. Before I knew it, the skinny boy with round glasses in front me had started to talk with another classmate.
Wearing a bitter smile, I realized that there was no new friendship can be forged here.
"What a let down…" that's the only thing came to my mind, at that moment.
Reflexively, I let out a deep sigh.
Then someone sat beside me.
And….It was a Girl.
Finally God heard my countless prayers.
Finally, I can introduce myself to someone.
"What…" her voice sounded really harsh & cold.
That snapped me out of my thoughts & I realized that I was looking at her for a whole minute.
"Nothing" – I spoke as calmly as possible.
She looked irritated but didn't say anything.
After a minute, I broke the silence by introducing myself.
"Hello, I am Philip."
"You just went ahead & introduced yourself?" she said.
"Well, as fellow classmates, we should introduce ourselves, for the sake of not being awkward, every time we see each other & you just set right beside me so…I thought I should introduce myself."
I had wanted to introduce myself to someone anyway, so it was not as though I could just keep quiet. Besides, in order to become familiar with my class, I had to at least know my neighbor's name.
"Do you mind if I refuse?" she asked.
'Well, that was harsh' – I thought, but I was not someone who would back down so easily.
"I don't think sitting next to someone for an entire year without knowing their name would be comfortable."
"I don't necessarily agree with you."
Shooting me a glance, she placed her bag on her desk. Apparently, she was not going to tell me her name. Lacking any interest in the classroom, the girl simply sat upright in her chair like a model student.
"Do you have a friend in another class? Or did you enroll here all on your lonesome?" I asked.
There were only four classes for all the first-year students, after all. Statistically, it wasn't impossible for a group of friends to scatter all around different classes.
"You are a curious one, aren't you? You won't find talking to me very interesting, though.
"If I am bothering you, you can just tell me to shut up."
I wouldn't introduce myself if it made her angry. I thought the conversation was over, but then she sighed. Apparently, she'd changed her mind. She turned her gaze towards me and introduced herself.
"I am Amanda."
For the first time I got a good look at her face.
She was cute, Or rather; she was beautiful, blue eyes, black hair, just magnificent. Even though we were in the same grade, I'd have believed it if you told me she was a year or two older.
Such a calm and cool beauty.
"Let me tell you about myself," I said. "I have no particular hobbies, but I am interested in just about anything & everything. I don't need many friends, but I think it would be nice to have at least a few, and the biggest thing, I hate trouble. And, well, that's it."
"First I didn't ask you to tell me about yourself & second you spoke just like someone who avoids trouble. I don't think I could ever like such a person." She said.
"I feel like you trashed my entire existence in just one second." I muttered.
"I pray this will be my only upset."
"God, I just wanted to introduce myself to someone, not to get obliterated by harsh words." I said with a sigh.
"You asked for it."
After that, she lowered her gaze & seemed to be reading one of her own books & I just stared blankly at the ceiling, thinking what the hell I even did to deserve this.
After 2 min of silence….a sudden realization came to my mind
Oh, shoot. I had forgotten that conversational back- and -forth was one of the basics of maintaining interest. I just blew up one of my chances to become friends with Amanda.