Alexi remained silent as Xasha went on. He knew that at this point he was not addressing him, but voicing his thoughts aloud. Ari, strolling slowly behind, also seemed as distracted as her father, but it was more like she was in another world than considering things. Over the years, she had gone through many changes. She still held her kind disposition, flashing a polite smile wherever she went however, that was all about people got to see. No one can see beyond that polite smile that kept everyone at a distance, all her other emotions were reserved for a tiny subset of people.
Ari seemed to notice his stare and flashed him a polite smile, to which he responded with a polite nod of his own. He couldn't help feeling downcast in his heart. While he had seen the real Ari, he could only be said to have been there when it happened. She was not doing it for his sake. While he was not pushed as far away as others, he will never get as close as a Lili or even a Xander.
It was different when she was younger. She treated him no differently than anyone else. But as she got older, and he began to develop feelings for her, began treating her differently and she began treating him differently as well. If he had a secondary goal, it would be to gain Ari's acknowledgment once more. For her to show him her actual smile and not the polite one, she showed everyone else. For her to crack jokes and laugh around him as she did as a child.
It was a goal he was working hard towards, but not unlike training. He was stuck and saw no way for him to make any progress.
"Tell me, Alexi," Ari's gentle voice pulled him out of his reverie, "while you were taking the assessment, did you ever feel close to a breakthrough?"
He thought for a moment, then replied, "my body went through a lot of what you would call transitions. But, I never got the burning feeling in my lower abdomen that Wanton described."
"I see," Ari replied in an emotionless tone.
"Miss Ari, don't get me wrong, it does not mean challenging the later levels is worthless. While I haven't broken through to the Emerald Realm, I have gotten several times stronger than I was at the peak of the Thorium Realm several years ago. And unlike Wanton, maybe it's because of my body, but when I meditate, my body and energy sea still hungrily absorb it. It does not go to waste. If I didn't know any better, I would think that it's not that I can't transcend the Thorium Realm, but that I need to absorb more mana."
Ari looked up at him with a thoughtful expression, "maybe your body differs from us humans. This is all novel to us, after all. You should write down all your experiences during this breakthrough, Moonlight and the others will benefit greatly from the knowledge you leave behind. "
"I will do as you say, Ari."
"Only Ari? No, miss?" Ari asked playfully.
"Miss Ari, I'm sorry," Alexi stopped and gave a bow in apology.
"It's fine, it's just that you haven't called me Ari, not since we were children. It was nice to hear, I didn't realize how much I missed it." She grabbed his shoulders and reassured him with a warm smile, then passed him by, leaving him in a daze.
Alexi lit up, "that was, her.... real smile," he whispered under his breath.
Unbeknownst to him, Xasha had somehow disappeared. He must have been so focused on his thoughts that he forgot to say anything before he left. Alexi sighed and walked to catch up with Ari.
"Could it be that... I am the one who changed?" He thought aloud.
"You've definitely changed. You became obsessed with training and neglected everyone around you. This is the longest conversation we have had in years. I bet Moonlight and the others haven't seen you in months. You do not differ from that father of ours when he was our age."
"Neglected?" Alexi seemed horrified as realization dawned on him. It's not Ari who became distant, it's him who sacrificed their relationship in favor of getting stronger.
"I do not resent you. Like father, I understand your motivations. You want to protect those you care about and right now you feel weak and insignificant in the face of this big world, where anything can happen. You never want to feel the regret of, "If I had just trained harder. If I was strong only enough." I know I felt that way, especially when the horde attacked fifteen years ago and I lost so many people I cared about. I feel just as passionate about getting stronger as you do. But, I have other responsibilities as well and some things I can't sacrifice in the name of getting stronger. So I leave it up to you and the others like Tulip, who have the willpower to do it. It is you who we will rely on most in our time of need."
Alexi looked up at the sky. "Thank you, Ari. To know that you are relying on me makes all I've been through seem worth it. I know you are working hard and having a hard time as well. Your fight is different from mine. I'm not sure how I would cope not knowing how to use my power even though I'm the most powerful mage on the continent."
Ari chuckled, "that title belongs to you."
"We both know the truth. The moment you learn to use that power of yours to its limit will be the day you transcend the boundaries known to men and become Queen of the continent with everyone else underneath your boot."
Ari burst out in unreserved laughter, "that silver tongue of yours is sharp as ever."