It was Saturday and I was sitting out by the lake at the far reaches of the campus. My mind was still reeling from two days earlier. I hated seeing Darren or Drew in those two days and it was getting harder for me to keep quiet.
I woke on Friday after a night of interesting dreams and with a pounding headache. It wasn't unusual for me to wake with one if I went to bed too late. Beca had no idea I had disappeared after she went to bed and I wasn't going to tune her in until I knew what was going on. All day Friday my thoughts were centered on Drew. Dangerous, I know because he is Beca's ex, but enlightening because I could figure him out if I stepped back from the situation.
I wasn't any closer to figuring anything out when I went to bed Friday night so I just dropped off. When I woke, I had two texts from Drew and one from Darren. I was adamant about ignoring the two of them all day so I went to the lake. It was my quiet time if I couldn't get to the stables.
Stryker was lying at my feet lapping at snow. My jeans were wet from the clustered precipitation on the ground but I didn't care. My whole head was filled with Arthurian legends. I was trying to figure out where everyone fit in. I knew most of the Knights. I had started making notes about each of them as I went along. I was studying up on all this and it was giving me a mental migraine with all the information I had digested.
Stryker lifted his head and growled, lifting his body into a crouch. I watched where he was pointed. Across the lake was the tree line. Coming from the tree line was a beautiful stag. It would have been a twelve point if someone had killed it. I watched it as it dipped its head to the cold, crystal waters and took a long drink. Stryker's growl was loud in the quiet area.
When it was done, the beautiful animal looked up and I swear it looked up at me with knowing eyes. Something slammed into my head with such force I gasped at the realization. A stag was one of the symbols of Merlin. Legend had it that Merlin could change into the shape of a stag. But that was only one legend. There were countless others.
My mouth dropped as the significance hit me. Drew had a tattoo of a stag on his shoulder.
"No," I muttered. The stag suddenly bounded away. "Stryker, let's go."
I turned and headed for the gym. Drew would be there with Sam. They have been inseparable lately. If I was going to confront him, I was going to do it with Sam around so he couldn't back out or lie.
My feet crunched the snow as I ran. I could hear my blood pumping in my ears as the cold took over and sang on my skin. Skidding to a halt, I grabbed my student card and swiped it through the key slot then shoved the door open. The weight room was to my left. Stryker went ahead of me, sniffing as he trotted down the hall.
We came to the doors and I looked in. Sure enough, there were Drew and Sam with the dumbbells. They were talking calmly as they alternated lifting their hands. I shoved the doors open and let my wolf in first. Most of the guys in the room gasped and stepped back from the grey bundle of fur as he made a beeline for Drew with me following behind him.
"Drew," I said roughly. He looked up at me as I invaded his personal space so I could whisper in his ear. "I know who you are, Merlin."
His face closed up fast. I was certain he was going to drop the weight on his foot or mine. I stepped back and looked at him. His good eye was wary as he looked at me. Sam was smirking as if he knew what was going on. My pendant burned but I wasn't going to say anything yet.
Finally he put his dumbbells down and grabbed a towel. He motioned me out the door and I gladly went. Stryker followed behind us, keeping his body between ours and Sam's. It obviously amused the other guy to no end because he kept making jabs at him.
Drew finally led me to the smoothie bar in the gym. He ordered a protein smoothie for himself and a regular one for me. Sam was making noises at Stryker when we came back from the counter.
"Sam, please leave him alone. He will bite you and I'll only say I told you so," I said as I sat down between them. Sam shrugged and sucked on the straw until it was completely flat. I turned to Drew then. He looked back at me. "Well?"
"Well? What do you want to know?" he asked as he took a sip of his smoothie.
"Why didn't you tell me you were Merlin?" My voice was hushed as I spoke it out loud. No one else needed to hear.
"We wanted you to figure it out on your own. It wouldn't have made any sense if we told you in the beginning. You wouldn't have believed me anyway."
"The first time Casey attacked me- the same day she busted my nose- I raised my hand to fend her off and she went flying. I still haven't figured that out." After saying that, I realized it was obvious. I looked up at him. He was looking contrite. "What did you do?"
"I saw her coming after you and I did what I could to help you from getting your face smashed in even worse. When you held your hand out, I pushed my powers into you and forced her back. It was the least I could do."
I stared at him for a few moments then looked down at the Styrofoam cup,
swirling the beverage as I thought. "So you've been looking out for me since I got here?" He nodded. "And did everyone else know but me?"
"Only Darren and Simon. No one else."
I leaned back in my seat and dropped my hands to the table. "I'm so stupid."
He rested his hand on mine and a sudden zing went up my arm. "No, I just hid it from you so I couldn't force you into anything. I can be very persuasive when I need to be and I didn't want to force you into this. You had to choose this. Otherwise it wouldn't have worked."
"Wouldn't it have worked?"
"This was all about consent and has always been. The original Camelot consented to helping Arthur and me. We didn't force her. It was her choice. So since then we decided to allow her to decide her own fate."
"Look where that got her," I mumbled to myself only to flinch after the words came out. I looked up at him. He was looking at me with a mixture of hurt and knowledge. "Sorry."
"No, it's quite all right. You've been having flashback dreams. That just shows you know who we all are and how this entire thing came into play. I just wished you'd curb your tongue about some of these things."
"It's not my fault you guys were keeping secrets from me. My reaction was obviously one you expected."
He raised an eyebrow at me. Two nights ago I had let my temper get the best of me and let them have it. At the time I really didn't care because it was their fault but as I thought about it they were only trying to look out for me. I just wished they would have told me.
"Okay, look now. I was tired and all of a sudden you come out and say you were moving me back to Dallas when I just came back." I gave him my no-funny-business-look. That amused him.
"We were just trying to get you somewhere where we can control the outcome of a situation."
"If you think about it, D, you really can't do that in Dallas," Sam said. It was the first time he had spoken to me since Thursday night. As I watched him suddenly become animated, I noticed his eyes were mismatched. One eye was brown and the other a bright green. It didn't go with his dark hair but everyone had quirks.
As he looked at me, I felt the pendant around my neck start to burn. At first I simply thought it was because of Drew but now I was beginning to think that maybe it was because of Sam. Simon had said he was a Knight but told me not to worry about him just yet. What were his secrets?
"The Dallas- Ft. Worth area is huge. We'd have to find multiple safe houses and keep them up and running and out of the way. At the moment we don't have enough manpower to do all that." Why was he the one making sense?
Drew seemed to think that over, nibbling his lip in the process. "It makes sense. Is there any way we can get the manpower?"
"No, not unless we hired the entire Dallas-Ft. Worth police force."
"If it was me, they would," I mumbled. They looked at me. "My dad was a lawyer. He knew everyone."
"So if we were to take you back to Dallas, they could help us watch out for you?"
I frowned unhappily. "I haven't agreed to that."
Drew frowned and rubbed his eyes, being extra careful of his scar. "Maddie, it's the best for you."
"I thought this was only going to work if I agreed to everything?"
Sam laughed as Drew simply stared at me. "She's got a point. You did just tell her she had to choose everything. What's the point in forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do?"
"Casey will kill her." Drew drew out the words, making the four words seem like a terror movie.
"Then she just needs to train with Max more."
I shook my head at their bickering. This wasn't going anywhere. We were at a stalemate. I scouted my chair back and stood, slipping into my jacket as I walked towards the door. Stryker loped happily at my side. I would be training with Max in an hour and I didn't want all of this playing through my head. I was having a hard enough time remembering the steps.
I was halfway across the campus when Drew caught up to me. He had slipped into a pair of sweats and threw on a cargo jacket. I would have heard him earlier if there wasn't as much snow on the ground.
He fell into step beside me as I continued walking. We didn't say anything for a bit and in doing so, it got me wondering. So I blurted it out.
"Why did you break up with Beca?" I asked.
He sighed. It was like he already knew. "Being Merlin means I have to do other things than hang around the Knights all time. Beca being a Knight I didn't think it was right for me to be in a relationship with one of them. It hurt her feelings but it was for the best. She's better off looking for someone other than me."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to die in this cycle." He didn't
answer me so I pulled him to a stop with a dreadful feeling. I looked into his face. He was trying to hide it but I could see right through him. "Are you saying you want this all to end? What have you done, Drew?"
"What I had to do. Do you think I like going through these cycles? For over thirteen hundred years I've watched everyone be reborn again and again. I watched as they've found each other and as Camelot dies at the hands of Mordred. For the last thirty years, I've watched Camelot die at age six because Morgan has had a hand in killing her."
I stopped fiddling with my zipper when he said that. "Are you saying she was the cause of the knife cutting me?"
"Think about it, Maddie. How does a knife that a child is holding by her legs suddenly come up and cut her chest? It doesn't unless it was forced. Casey's known who she was for the last sixteen years. That means since she was two. She found you before we did and tried to kill you before you were old enough to remember your dreams. She's going to keep coming at you, Maddie. We have to get you away from here."
"What about when she comes at me in my dreams? Or sends Nathan after me? What will you do then?"
"We'll plan accordingly."
"It doesn't work like that, Drew! You can only go so far before everyone gets pissed and quits. Now stop trying to force me into this." I turned on my heel and headed to my dorm to change. I was going to the archery field before I lost my cool with Merlin.