It has been two days since I have seen Lorcan. Lorcan, him and my parents have been so busy with the upcoming union. I am relieved that with their schedule I get to avoid my family. They are the last people I want to talk to. For Lorcan, he must have accepted the fact that whatever was between us is not going anywhere. It is all for the best.
Tonight, Haakon organized a simple party for a little celebration with both councils from either side. I have had to put on a lot of fake smiles which explains why my jaw is hurting. I can only tolerate a few people and when those are also not waiting to stab me in the back. I can't stop thinking about everything. My mind is all over the place. I need a drink.
I have seen the looks from women my age. They are envious of this opportunity I didn't even want in the first place. I gulp down some wine when I get as far away from Isaac. He is one of the most respected member of the council of the North pack. Can he talk? I have had to tolerate an hour of him boasting about his victory in various wars. I never want to be near his loud loose mouth and asshole self ever again. I huff.
"Is it that bad?"
The hairs on my neck stand upright as soon as I hear that voice. I turn to meet with Lorcan his eyes hypnotizing as I remember staring back at me. I take another gulp of the drink averting my gaze from him.
"You should slow down on the wine. You are a light head." Lorcan murmurs. I scowl. Who told him he was the boss of me? And what did I tell him about not coming near me again? This man has no respect for personal space.
"That is not your bussiness. What did I tell you about coming near me?" I raise a brow at him.
"I respect your decision Aylin. However I have one last request before I let you go." he announces.
"What do you want?" I ask impatiently. I just want him as far away from me as possible.
"After everyone has gone to sleep. Meet me by the river." he suggests. I look at him like he has lost his mind. Does he even understand the gravity of his request?
"Please. Just tonight and I will let you go. That is my last request. I will be waiting."
The next thing I realise is Lorcan getting lost through the crowd. He can't be that unfair. He can't do that to me. I drown down the last of the contents of the glass. I need another glass if I am going to survive this night. I walk back through the crowd searching for a steward by any chance before the last person I want to talk to blocks my way.
Mother
"What do you want?" I ask impatiently.
"That is not a way to talk to your mother. I raised you better than that Aylin." she scowls.
"You wish." I scoff unbelievablely.
Maybe if she had paid more attention to me growing up and not treated me like I was nothing, I would have the respect she so craves. Mother known for her good mannerisms pulls me away from the crowd to the balcony.
"What are you doing Aylin?" she scolds eyeing the empty glass in my hand. Her nostrils flare immediately. Why am I not surprised here? I resist from cracking a stupid smile.
"What do you think I am doing?" I cock a brow at her.
"Are you drunk? Do you know how important this arrangement is?" mother grits. I swear she could swallow an elephant with how red her face looks.
"Are you here to remind me then? The thing is you are too late." I reply sarcastically.
"Can you stop being a brat for one second?" she glares.
"I will if you just get out of my way." I inform.
"I saw you with that boy again, Lorcan." Mother stares at me intently. With the mention of his name, my heart constricts. Nevertheless I keep a straight gaze.
"What? Are you now my watch dog or are you here to tell me who I talk to and not? Isn't that a little bit too much stepping in my territory. I will tell you that I don't appreciate it." I sneer.
"You can act like an idiot whichever way you want, I don't care." she mutters her voice a notch dangerously low.
"However if you mess up this wedding, I won't forgive you Aylin. Don't make me regret ever trusting you with something this big." she threatens before she walks away.
It is when I hear a cold drop on my hand that I know that I am crying. Mother out of all the people knew about me and Lorcan. She found me sneaking back inside the house one night. I got an earful from her but however much she said back then, I didn't care. I never stopped sneaking out to see Lorcan.
Looking back and now, getting married to Lorcan is not like sneaking out for a lover. This time I know that my mother means all that she just said and it hurts. It hurts that she can be that selfish for the sake of her own gain.
I wipe the tears away. I hope I didn't ruin my makeup. When I feel a light touch on my shoulder, I tense. I sniff cleaning away any evidence of crying in a second.
"Are you okay?" Azriel asks. I turn back with a forced smile.
"Yes. What do you want?"
"Haakon requests your presence. I think it is about opening the dancefloor." he informs.
"Okay." I murmur.
"Your makeup is ruined. I don't think you want people to see you like this." Azriel scrutinizes.
"You are right. Buy me some time with Haakon, I will be there in a few seconds." I rush down to the bathroom.
I sigh as soon as I look at my reflection. This is not the time to show my weakness. I can't let her see that she hurt me. I can't give anyone that satisfaction. Quickly retouching my makeup, I rush back to find Haakon.
"Hey, where were you?" he frowns.
"Bathroom. Do you have any problem with that?" I question. He nods her head muttering women before he leads me to the dancefloor. I send Azriel a thank you smile just as I begin swaying with Haakon to the beat.
"You look beautiful tonight, my lady." Haakon flirts. I roll my eyes.
"You too Haakon." I answer plainly.
"It wounds me when you say it like that." he murmurs. The others join in on the dance floor.
"Aren't you happy that you are marrying the most handsome guy in the world?" The smolder he has on his face now has me wanting to puke. Honestly Haakon isn't the worst guy. Dirty blonde hair, dark eyes and he has a killer body, I would say he is more than fine. I am not interested in him and he can't just let that go.
"Should I? I didn't know I had an assignment." I mutter with a sardonic smile.
"Oh love, you will soon especially the moment I take you in my bed." he smirks. I cringe at the thought. How did that part skip my mind? Suddenly I feel nausea. Me and Haakon in the bed together, I need some wine.
What did I expect? Of course that was bound to happen. People expect pups from us. He expects me to birth for him. I am going to faint. A sudden wave of relief washes over me when I see my father's kind smile behind Haakon.
"May I?" Father asks.
"Sure." Haakon mumbles before he steps away. He casts me one last glance before he walks away.
Father and I start moving to the music.
"I take it that you have been avoiding your father too." Father starts.
"That is a no brainer dad. I knew you would catch on that eventually. You are a smart man." I say.
"That is a little unfair Aylin, don't you think?"
"Not as unfair as giving off your daughter at birth. We are not that even yet." I stare at him.
"Honey," father pleads.
"What do you expect dad? That I was going to jump up in happiness because my parents did me a favor." I murmur angrily.
"I need you to understand love. This is for the benefit of the pack." he says. I almost stamp his feet in return. I glare harder.
"And what about my benefit. Did you ever think about what I wanted? No. Just say it is for the benefit of you and mother."
"Aylin..."
"What? Did I hit a nerve there?" I raise a menacing brow. Father scowls.
"My legs can no longer move now."
I get away from him leaving him by the floor staring at me.
I love my father so much but with this thing going on, I am not sure anymore.