A month has passed since the little meeting with the princess and today the "scholar" I ordered should arrive, personally I am quite annoyed with my lack of general knowledge about this world, I barely handle one or another fragment of the history of this kingdom, not even To speak of the international aspect, I only know that they have political and religious conflicts at fundamentalist levels.
This is where the "scholar" comes in, we're in a pseudo magical world and I'm technically a Summoned Hero a bit off the charts but a hero nonetheless, the other heroes have their magical relics while poor me, I just have my body with this ridiculous regeneration ability and super strength plagiarized Ronald Reynolds and Saitama. If I had to complain about something it's about my treatment in this place, I'm a fucking hero but they treat me like a prisoner, or a special weapon.
--I'm not complaining, but living locked up gives me a headache~
I can be a bit impulsive but I'm not crazy, I harassed the princess a bit because well, she drove me crazy, she's quite pretty but, being pretty doesn't give you the right to boss me around! I am the Fucking Hero, have a bit of fucking respect for me, I am not just another pawn for you to play your little games of thrones and novelistic schemes, I have enough strength and endurance, I fully trust that I can fulfill each and every one of my threats, there is no cannons or firearms, he doesn't have "magic" in the proper sense of the word, so I am the law here, princess, this daddy is the law of the jungle, when old Gregor Blacksmiths , bring my sword I can roam My wide if someone opposes I will send him flying with a swing.
"Master, the scholar has arrived.
Mirra came to my study and notified me of the arrival of the guest, as I was too lazy to stand up and receive him, I asked him to bring him, I can do it, it is disrespectful, I am a Count and fiancé of the Third princess, I have the credentials enough.
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Let's skip my meeting with the scholar as it was a waste of time so I'll summarize it to the bare minimum.
#1 This world is indeed a world of swords and magic
#2 The gods left this world, taking magic with them.
N°3 Humans dominate 70% of the continent
#4 Demons can still use "some" magic, though that something is at most a basic fireball of any RPG.
N°5 The Semi-humans are slaves for mere religious reasons.
No. 6 The Free Duchy of Mills does not have a "Holy Relic" as it was taken and/or destroyed by demons.
N°7 Human beings can reproduce with any other species although the children will always be of the mother's race.
No. 8 The Demon King is born about 150 years after the death of the last.
#9 Humans have never fully won the war against demons.
No. 10 All the demon kings have died from injuries during the retreat.
And that's it, there is no mystical magic, arcane knowledge, not even a good political or geographical understanding, certainly a quasi-medieval world, but super stagnant and retrograde, this is all nonsense...
-- Ahhhhhhhh ~…I want to escape and join the demon king~
I sighed as I leaned back in my chair, Lira and Mirra, they look at me with a bit of compassion, the scholar was indeed a scholar but he wasn't what I expected, he was just an old religious fanatic, a theology preacher, he can't be a man of science, both branches are mutually exclusive.
--Master if he leaves the enemy army, we will accompany him x2
Both girls spoke disconcertingly at the same time, but I still understood their message, feeling a bit silly I pulled them into my arms and kissed their foreheads.
--Silly girls, even if you didn't want to I'd drag you with me~
They both laughed and smiled happily. oh! The joy of having a flower in each hand, what? The princess? She can go fuck a pig for all I care.
--I am a bad and simple man, as long as I have good food, good drink, good money and you two, I will be happy, without the right to reply or objections.
Proclaim as he tightened his grip on their slender waists, enjoying their softness.
--Well, since everything is said, let's go~
--Teacher?
--Aren't we going there?
They both blushed as they knew my unchivalrous intentions.
--I already said it, good food, good drink and to you two, I already ate, I already drank, only you are missing, as I already have you in my claws, this bad wolf is going to taste two tender little lambs.
Grinning from ear to ear, I charged into the chamber like a bolt of lightning.
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Applause for my growing sins, after having a very good understanding the three of us went down to breakfast, it should be mentioned that this time breakfast is being prepared by me, I got a little over the top and now Lira and Mirra are a little indisposed or able to carry out their tasks.
I quickly put together a light and bland breakfast for the two convalescents, a couple of vegetable sandwiches, with some scrambled eggs and bacon. We spend the whole day in a state of caramel game of newlyweds although technically I am in a bigamy, here it is legal therefore my morality and ethics went on vacation a long time ago.
--Delicious x2
--Thanks~ I may be a bad boy but I still know how to cook.
I smiled and pampered my pretty maids for the next few days until I was called back to the castle.
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As always, the castle is artistically and architecturally a work of art, although it leaves much to be desired in military terms. The High Priest Patrick Ferrer was waiting for me as always outside, although this time he did not bring a new pair of "Sisters" to introduce me.
--Good morning Patrick, did something happen?
--I see that we interrupted, I am sorry but there are reports that the White Hero of the Empire is prowling the border.
"Stop beating around the bush...is it the red castle?"
--Yes, apparently the White Hero took offense at your innovative tactics.
--He is gay? Corpse towers and impalement have been patented for centuries in my world, obviously not used anymore but still good at this time… [White Hero, Not White Fagot maybe?]
I scowled at the lord and quickly walked towards the conference room accompanied by Patrick. As soon as General Brise entered, he received me with a smile, but seeing my bad temper, he withdrew his smile and handed me a basket full of Pineapples.
--Thank you... [Here's someone who knows how to serve people, delicious as always~]
I sat at my booth and enjoyed my fruits while reading the report, which I will summarize in two parts.
1° The White Hero has been seen on the border, more specifically two days from the red castle.
2°There are rumors that the White hero intends to take back the red castle and defeat the villain who committed those vile acts, that is, Me.
All in all, the pretty boy wants to play the role of a martyr, I'm not sure I can defeat him or avoid being hurt by his magic sword, but I'm interested in knowing what hippogriff meat tastes like... will its meat be edible first? Shall we ask?
--Excuse me, General Brise...
--Yes, what's up Count?
--Is hippogriff meat edible?
Before my question all the members of the war council were silent, petrified in their positions, until one of the oldest commanders burst out laughing having understood my line of thought.
--You miserable little rascal, Of course it's edible!
"Oh, then I already have a reason to go to the border!" But how do you know grandpa?
--I ate some hippogriff in my youth, good red meat a bit dry but very delicious~
The old commander and I started talking about how we could prepare the hippogriff, next to me General Brise and High Priest Patrick could only give forced smiles. At the end of the meeting my participation in the defense of the red castle was established, however I made my position clear, I am not going to defeat the White Hero of the Empire but as a minion I am going to keep his mount.
That same afternoon we left for the black castle, since my weapon was not yet ready, I asked General Brise to get me the most resistant and mobile armor he could find. He ends up giving me a minor dragon body armor, supposedly it is reinforced with Mithril threads and various charms, a work of art from the ancient times, it was confiscated from a corrupt nobleman who tried to sell it on the black market, however it is just what needed.
--General, after this battle I'm going to prepare a small Hippogriff barbecue in my mansion, take your wife too, we're going to share a good meal.
--Count… Are you seriously going to hunt down the White Hero?
--Nope, I'm going to hunt his mount, I don't care about the pretty boy with the magic sword. I want the chicken-faced horse he's riding!
--Sometimes I don't know if you're being serious or you're kidding me… Count Zenit.
--A little of both my friend~ and how is your lady wife, any little Brise on the way?
--Stop fucking mercenary hero, my personal life is none of your business...
--But your lady wife is a good woman full of the desire to be a mother, stop being so honest and fulfill her wishes, the old commander said that Hippogriff's testicles and ovaries are good for fertility, I'll take them away~
--Zenit!... Did my, my, my wife say something to you during the party?
I mocked the good General, and continued.
--Your wife is a good girl, elegant, demure, I only speak because of alcohol and it was only for a moment, but General, she truly wants a child.
"My son, a son of mine?"
Brise spoke while her eyes were unfocused.
--Yes, who else are they going to make your wife is almost a saint, you lucky bastard, you have that perfect example of a wife, while I have to fight tooth and nail to avoid all the marriage proposals that Patrick throws at me, besides, I have Lira and Mirra at home, my position doesn't allow me to have children freely, instead you, my friend, are free of problems and you don't do it. What waste?
Guess, I dramatically covered my eyes with my right hand as I patted Brise's back with my free hand.
--Zenit… What should I do?
asked the general with a broken and trembling voice.
--Why ask, I get the hippogriff and we have a party, I have my girls and you have your good wife, I want to be an uncle by next year.
I laughed out loud as the good general stood flushed and dazed on the spot, hours later we were on our way to the Red Castle.