The crowd was totally speechless awaiting my next move, watching in horror as I stood on top of the building, out of all the nights I could have chosen... It just had to be tonight, I could almost hear the muffled swears of the worried investors and my manager, my only task at the start of the day was to appear pretty and polished for the executives to take a look at, not cause a scene and be as charismatic as possible.. but how could I had been invited to as 'the main product'.
People were screaming, pleading me to get down, i truly wanted to, really..
Buy my recklessness and hatred took the best of me
'Why do I have to stay, if I'll just suffer anyways, I hate them all, selfish rats.
I don't remember the last time I shared a coffee with a friend without it becoming a scandal, or the last time my smile was genuine and not for a magazine cover, just so they'd notice me, and see that I'm doing so good without them..'
Where has my life gone...?
When did I become an obsessed, love and attention craving person?
Would my life have been different if I just accepted they don't need or want me anymore? How pathetic, even now I'm still waiting for ' them' to come and save me. Stupid overly attached little me, did I cling to them so much that they repulse me?
"OMG is she really going to jump??!"
" PLEASE miss Evonne don't do it, get off there please!!"
"someone call security!!"
" Film it- "
Silence..
"Help please.. SOMEONE HELP, she just threw herself!"
my manager screamed in horror as my elegant white dress was now covered in blood, and my blond curls that my stylists worked so hard on were now messy and tinted with crimson red.
The sound of the ambulance was the only thing keeping me awake, how tired I was, just let me rest please.
The paramedics rushed to me, and started asking questions as they were getting me on a stretcher
" Miss can you hear us? "
" Miss-"
'shut it, stop'
"CAMILLA-!"
Someone came out of the restaurant at full speed and was cutting through the crowd in order to get to my side, he said my real name.. But I don't recognize him.. Why?
A strange man came into my vision, he was blurry but I could see how desperate he was by the sound of his voice calling my name, how caring his touch was, I'm sorry nice stranger
My eyelids are getting so unbearably heavy, I can't help it, I will just... Close them briefly.
.
.
.
.
I open my eyes again, but I am not in the ambulance nor the hospital...
" Heaven? "
The elegant wallpaper, the soft pillows and the smell of sweet honey and flowers.. this is too similar to that hell hole, Is this my punishment?
Somehow I am back at my "parents" house, was it just a nightmare..? It can't be , it was way too vivid, I lived a whole lifetime in a DREAM?!
"That doesn't make sense at all.. "
My confusion was stopped by a sudden feeling of sickness, a very strong one at that, the naussa was horrible, it felt like I was going to throw up blood, if that wasn't enough, a throbbing pain in my head appeared, I collapsed constantly when I was 16, is that now?.. The pain just got worst.
' The pills, this is the time I forgot to take my pills! '
I grabbed the orange bottle of pills by my nightstand, and quickly swallowed two, I almost choked because of the absence of water, but at least they entered my system, finally after 20 minutes the naussa stopped, my migraine decided it was going to stay with me for a while more
*BEEP* *BEEP*
I was taken back to reality by the sound of a flip phone's notification, perhaps mine
I stretched my hand to get it.
It looked exactly like my old flip phone from when I was 16, the pink model that I worked so hard to buy, and the little strawberry chain attached to it, Yes, this is mine.
I open it and checked the date
Year: 2005
Time: 1:04 am
How come? how weird, was it really just a bad dream? The content of that nightmare was too real, it showed me my whole life, from when I was born to when I perished.
who is the notification from anyways?
- Rin Rin: hey u up?
- Idiot 2: ~we need to get patched up ^o^
What..? I really am 16 huh?
Even if it is just for a moment, I want to enjoy again the taste of when they loved me
Hot tears full of betrayal, fear and anger were running down my pale cheeks, even if I didn't want to admit it, I was glad, that dream spooked me, but I just brushed it off... How stupid, I held on to the device and thanked the heavens for this new opportunity.
I don't think it had sinked in at the time... That this was not a gift but rather a cruel torturous penalty