You know what, sometimes I feel a bit jealous. My cousin is having a boyfriend, my younger cousin brother also has a crush with his classmate and they both know it, ugh come on, he is just six or seven something. My cousin from my father's side also had a boyfriend but they broke up when her parents came to know about it. So basically, I am the only person in my family who has no boyfriends or even had a boyfriend background. But my father's sister's son 'Luis', he had a crush on me. I could sense it from his behavior . I know it's weird but people do marry their first cousins so it isn't too much weird. My father owns a hotel in place not so far. He is not the only owner, he is more like a partner . One of it's partner is my uncle, precisely speaking, Luis's father. I used to go there always and we used to meet . Luis was always playing the ' owner's son ' kind of thing.
He orders all the food he needs and eat it for free. I get it , his dad is one of the partner but still he isn't supposed to order all the food and play the 'boss'. I hated him for that. I was just ten or maybe eleven at that time , he had a crush on me but I didn't have any problem with it. After all, It's nice to have a boy secretly loving you.
" Both of you go to the office and sit there." said my dad.
Me and Luis got up from the cafeteria and went to the office. In side the office we also had another room with bed in case any staffs wants to rest.
" Why don't we go in there." he asked.
I nodded my head because it was too uncomfortable for me to sit in the office as every customers could see us. I went inside the room with him. He got inside before me and sat on the bed. I closed the door casually.
" Luna lock the door." he said while he was sitting on the bed.
I was busy playing a mobile game, my eyes were on the game and I raised my arms to reach the door lock.
" And come sit near to me" he said.
My head turned towards to him the next second. I looked at him and his hands were on his lap, eyes staring at me with a different look, he walked near to me . Yes, it seemed like he got some plans with me.
I unlocked the door and rushed out. " Luna, wait! Please ." I heard him talking from behind. I didn't pay attention to him and walked away. That incident influenced me a lot, more like haunted me .We both met again in many family functions and I tried my best to act normal. Not all men are same! I get it, but that's just a fantasy, I know that, you know that, everybody knows that so just accept it.
It's not so difficult to survive but it's difficult to survive happily without any regrets. Boys just want to use and flirt with girls but they don't know the impact that they cause on her. One day for a family function, we cousins had to sleep together in a room. Me, Pearl, Ruby and Luis had to sleep in a single bed. In parent's point of view, we are just 10 year old children who doesn't feel anything when sleeping together. I was so uncomfortable that day. He slept on the very right side , next to Pearl. The next day I woke up and the first thing I saw was Luis sleeping next to me.
I was so shocked and my body poised for a second. He was on the other side when I was asleep, how come he is next to me when I woke up? Tears filled my eyes. I got this feeling that I was dirty. For months I lived with that feeling which burned me alive. I never asked him about that . Being a girl is not at all simple, if you are a girl and you say that 'you got no guts', then believe me if you are born in a pink cradle, you already got some guts. Boys can be so pathetic sometimes and from my experience ' there is no such thing like bad boy or a good boy, a good boy dreams of it and a bad boy does it, that's the only difference.