You will never be unloved by me,
For You are too tangible to my soul.
.
-
"Come here." Alexander coaxes again with an expression eclipsed with stern, "I have to show you something now." with finality, he says this while reeling me in by a soft tug at my hips only to crash my body into his own.
It had to have been maybe eight in the morning where he decided to sneak into my sleeping chambers, did hell knows what to Heidi to interrupt her slumber, and now he's seducing me with charmspeake and wine-colored eyes with speckles of grey in them, that I've never noticed before.
This bundle of hunger flipped like a fish in the pits of my stomach as I gazed at this man that I tried so desperately to ignore, who was alas, naked as the day he was born with bulging muscles that could've been sculpted by God himself. A river of dark brown tresses was spilling from the top of his head, and it made my heart, rigorously, skip a beat in admiration.
It was predetermined that, he was the source of my hunger.
He made me thirsty, starved of rationality as I wanted to hate and love him at the same time. I hated him so much I wanted to crawl and bury myself in the depths of his skin. As crazy as it may sounds, I wanted to be him. The prince had always been my twisted idolization brought to fruition.
I don't know where these scattered emotions were coming from, maybe he'd never know of them because I couldn't describe this sensational appetite as it barked up the nape of my neck. "Your wolf." He mutters while trailing his gaze as well down my body. Every place his irises landed on my skin it sizzled with need, wanting to mold perfectly into his animation. "What?" I ask, trying to sound intimidating but it only made him smirk down upon me until his lips morphed into another frown.
"The reason you are feeling like this is that now that you're shifted, your emotions run haywire." Alexander rakes his fingers throughout his black hair as he thought carefully about what he'd say next, "Aside from your thoughts that crash into my own mind, since we are mated. I can feel every dosage of everything that you are." He looks nervous for some reason, I bite my lip harshly which I casually did when I was nervous.
"And?" Mindlessly the word fluttered from between my lips, Alexander only observed me as if he could see straight threw my anatomy.
"Stop that." He demands.
I send Alexander another confused expression as he fists his hand by his side. He releases a low guttural growl turning away from me, he doesn't refrain from pulling my wrist to follow him though and I can't help but get the idea he's suddenly infuriated, per usual. Seems to me he's the one with haywire emotions. "Hey what's the matter!" I exclaim, trailing behind him. "What am I doing wrong?"
He snaps his head around toward me again as we are making a sharp turn around the hall and as soon as he makes eye contact with me I'm biting my lip again. "You should stop that now Vera," with ease, he steps closer to me, taking my jaw in his hand so that we are eye leveled.
Caressing my jaw in his calloused palm, "So help me in spite of everything deathless, if you keep those sexual thoughts coursing throughout your head, I will take you shamelessly against this wall with no remorse," His voice is filled with promise and certainty while the whole time I'm thinking internally why did my mate have to be so handsome? So perfect that it hurts? "I'll take you right here. Keep it up. I dare you."
"Alexander," I began to say, lowering my voice now that we have zero space between us. He keeps getting closer and closer with this look I couldn't entirely decipher with those soft pink lips. I wanted to explore him and everything he was until it wasn't any more to discover.
"I dare you, Mate." My stomach was a bundle of nerves becoming undone as he's getting unimaginably closer. I was hot all over, with a single thought playing over and over again in my head. Could he feel it?
Could he feel my heat?
Suddenly Alexander lessened whatever remained of the distance between us as his lips crash roughly into my dry ones, shaping them, biting them as they molded into his godforsaken ones.
As his tongue slices the brim of my bottom lip in an attempt to break the barrier I held into my mouth, after releasing a blood-curdling growl again, I moan into his passionate embrace, giving him a chance to slice through with his tongue that invaded and tasted me.
Warmth envelops us both as he wraps his arms around my back desperately while I bring him closer into my chest. Bubbles were popping like firecrackers within my insides up til suddenly he slams my back against the nearest wall as our tongues collide, fighting for dominance. But something in the back of my head told me I couldn't submit anymore.
This makes the alpha groan, igniting a fever-drenched Holocaust beneath my skin cave inward in efforts to mold into my prince.
"Vera you need to give me control," Alexander whines as I feel a slight smile unfold upon his lips in between our sloppy kisses. I moan, even more, melting in the wretched crevices of his hands, I was willing to give him everything even without him having to ask. I did more than want him, I craved him like an addiction and it was his fault.
Just as easily as I started gasping for oxygen while he had me fully wedged in between the threshold of the walls, my mate pulled away to inhale small intakes of air. If I didn't find him cute right now he'd look something close to a suffocating flounder fish.
Pulling myself away, I turned away from him and began walking down the path of the hall fully aware I didn't even know where I was going. I only knew I needed to get far, very far away from him.
"To your right," I heard Alexander reprimand, and I took the nearest right that I saw. "I knew that," I lied.
Hearing a low chuckle, I felt him stand right behind me before his melodic voice aroused my senses. He then says this, "Of course you did."
Smugly.
Pushing me forward inside a dark room that was dimly lit, I slide in through the double doors to look around. From what I could guess, this is what he intended to show me. But what exactly was there to show?
Inside the room, a musty stench watered my eyes with tears and made my nose runny with nauseation. I could've sworn the temperature had maybe risen a thousand degrees higher, I was burning up with beading sweat fleeting down my forehead. I'm almost positive you can see and feel the heat waves rolling off of me. "Xander, what is this place?" Hesitantly, I asked.
I turn around to face him and instantly filled with overzealous, I take three staggering steps backward when I hadn't realized how close our bodies were. That's when it occurred to me something other than the atmosphere had taken a dangerous shift in the proximity we were in and it had my veins pulsating to get a grip on this beastly feen in front of me.
He stood rigid and hard. Craning his head to the side while shutting his eyes, Alexander Bane takes a half step around me inside of the small dark room, where he soon sat on the edge of a wooden table.
He gestures for me to sit beside him which I reluctantly did, and because of his weight kind of consuming all of the space, I ended up pressed gingerly against his side to the point I felt all of his brawn threw the tattered shirt I sported on my back.
Staring blankly as he did into the ceiling above me, picture frames collected dust bunnies on the walls made of paneled steel. Adjacent to the table we sat on was a square narrowed window that shone little to no light in with a faint scent of my mate lingering around, penetrating my mind in a way until it entirely infiltrated my nose. It did something to me. It ruffled my being to the core becoming newly personable in its sensible design.
"You've been in this room plenty of times haven't you?" I ask matter of factly again, Alexander only nods. "Why is it so..." I trailed off not knowing what to say.
My life outside of Alexander's world wasn't just very flawed or less decorative overall but all of the castles were exaggerated and complimentary, if he never showed me this now I probably wouldn't even have guessed this room existed. It resembles a jail cell. The floors were stained with hell knows what. But who was I to complain, right?
"I lived in this room as a young child," Alexander says sharply. He scratched the back of his ear while he was beginning to stand, rising to his full delegated height where he hovered directly with a shaking fist.
"The King familiarized himself with this room, calling it his Red Room. The reason behind it is because many many men have died here." Studying the fingerprints that glittered my hands, I listened intently as the alpha spoke with so much meaning and up-leading anger.
Without a second to spare, I found my head being lifted higher until Alexander's gaze captivated mine and even then he still wouldn't release me. My jaw falls open into a gasp as he captures my lips into his mouth once again only to part. For something to be so divisible, why had it been so fitting and glorious as they meet and caressed each other? In these moments drowning out all rage.
"What I wanted to show you was this, " Alexander announces proudly while taking large strides away from me only so he could begin to strip his clothing.
Everything was hushed and silent around me, the only rhythmic pattern I heard was muffled and it came from within my ears from all the blood that pounded a base by every robbed second that Alexander milked from time as I watched him shed his pants, then his trousers.
He lets them fall to his leg to step outside of them and kicks them gently across the floor and now that I could see him, frankly all of him, he'd appeared more beautiful than any man I'd ever lied eyes on. He was shimmery gold, with a body of raw honey-combed meat. I wondered if he'd known how much I yearned for him, to taste him. Simply looking at him had awoken something feral, riveting at the surface of a waterbed, so ready to burst.
To plunder into his mounds of integument.
Looking away, I began to shield my eyes from his stark naked glory, feeling almost shunned to grace myself in his holiness. Like I'd invaded his privacy somehow. "You will look at me, Vera." His demand is short-lived but indisputable, yet I still hadn't removed my hands from my optics. "What is mine is yours. You have no choice but to understand that." He growls again, coming near me only to slap my hands away.
Wholeheartedly I hiss, while retreating my gaze to something safer like the ceiling again. Oh such a wonderful ceiling it was, "Unless you want me to eye fuck you Alpha Prince, I suggest you carry on with what you have to do." I retorted, while fighting back a smirk. I almost bit my lip again until I remembered what it made him do the first time.
Not that I didn't want that to happen again.
Alexander releases a deepening sigh that transformed into a distraught groan until the vibrations he was emitting morphed into strained growls. Soon I heard his bones snapping apart, breaking down until they shredded his human skin until it became fury all over into his Lycanthrope beast.
I forced the flashbacks to the back of all things memorable, as I recalled the first time he'd shifted in front of me so gruesomely it was damn near traumatizing. The next thing I knew, it was these humongous crimson, beady eyes gauging out my soul to connect with something that stirred internally within my existence.
It was a heart-wrenching, and untimely a train wreck as it was wholesome like hearing something angelic curse for the first time.
The black beast.
The coat of fur made from battered coal and seeds emptied from the sun. That black fur ball of imperial. He was beautiful. This royal monstrosity was nothing close to what I could've imagined from just reading a silly article on this thing. The legends? The tales? Did him no justice as I'm amazed at seeing this THING again for the second time with my own set of eyes.
Before I registered what was happening entirely I was draping my fingers through Alexander's wolfish hair, tugging and pulling on it slightly before my fingers dove inside. For something to be so menacing and glowering, its energy flooded so much comfort, projecting ounces of consolation into my palms.
I started to play with the hem of my shirt while eyeing the ferocious thing in front of me. I shrugged more to myself whilst tossing my shirt over my head in effort to shift into my own wolf, following the abandonment of my panties that slid down my knee until I heard more crackling noises come from Alexander's body.
Very much prideful, evidently naked but with a scowl leeching on his expression, there my Alexander stood stoic with crossed arms pulsating over his chest. Prominent muscles humming to be relaxed after the wild inside took over its host's physique.
"What do you think you're doing?" His question is said threw a grimace which causes me to roll my eyes out of anger. The pointed look he gave me reminded me of a mother scolding her young child. "Well, I was going to shift as you did," I answered as a grin easily dispersed across my lips.
This was the longest I've been around my mate without him getting immensely angry to the point he'd wanted to kill someone or even myself. So don't blame me for feeling giddy inside at him lacking emotion still allowing me around. Can you say progress?
"Vera, do you think me showing you my wolf is just for the fuck of it?" He's yelling at me and before I could furrow my eyebrows yet again in confusion he's tossing his shirt at me. Becoming shamed, I hurriedly put it back on. "What I'm trying to tell you is essential. I need you to listen." He chastises.
A butterfly swam from my stomach into my esophagus as I began to choke down a hiccup to stop me from crying. I absolutely hated feeling like this. I felt on the brick of slipping into a void, but the tears hadn't fallen. "I am listening," I reply after collecting myself momentarily.
"My beast isn't normal."
I nod carelessly for him to continue because this isn't something newly vague that I'm hearing for the first time. After all, I've always known that. "My beast isn't normal because it isn't mine." He states.
"What is that suppose to mean?" I shouted. With my hands ready to wrap around his throat, I charged at him to which he deflects but grabbing the ridge in my shoulder. "Alexander!" While scowling, I snatched my arm away from his touch. I was becoming furious and his nonchalant attitude only encouraged my rage.
"Vera there's something you couldn't possibly comprehend, not now and I'm to blame justly for that. I brought you into this fully knowing the consequences." Riddles, riddles, and more false tongues are what I'm hearing. If this is his way of letting me down easy so god help me, I'll lose my shit.
I searched in his ponds of crimson pools hidden within his irises for anything, his truth.
"What is said consequences, Alexander." I couldn't stop myself from allowing my knuckles to skim his jawline. He moved closer toward me with outreached arms but I shoved them to the side. I couldn't fall pity into his arms anymore. I was better than that now, I was more than deserving of such treatment.
Maybe it was the beast inside feeding me entitlement and bitter resent.
"I know Heidi has been telling you things. Dropping hints and revealing to you our pulverized antiquity." With gentleness, Alexander secured his fist around my neck where he squeezes me unimaginably closer towards his face. Pressing my body into his own, I was lifted from my feet, his arm snaking around my waist where he supported me higher.
"So?" Staring dumbfounded, I gawked in his face while enfolding my hand around Alexander's grasp around my neck. "So!" I yell again.
"I suggest you stop now before you go so far, mate," His fingers played with the loose curls in my hair as I eyed him in this action. "Just before it gets ugly. You'll find something you never wanted to find." Filling with crude, the Lycan prince's eyes glowered down upon me, forecasting their plagued cherry rose.
Scoffing more to myself. I felt something sharp and anointing, sprouting down from my teeth until it scraped the flesh on my bottom lip. Canines were begging to be latched onto this male in front of me who imposed a challenge, harboring my self-control until it diminished into nothing. "I want to know everything of you, Alpha." I discarded his hand from my throat, clawing it away from my throat. "Your history. Everything."
For a split second, I saw a sly smile disperse on his lips before it was replaced by a showcase of elongated indentured, the ones I can recall perfectly piercing my veins into my neck, "Why won't you let me in?" Pleading, I've done all but beg and ask. All I wanted was for him to love me, to be with me. It made it seem like I've asked for much. "Because I don't want you in," Alexander replies as if it were that simple. It wasn't that easy for me, I'm wishing it was. But I can't shake these emotions, it ruled out my heart.
"You see Vera, women are men's sole weakness if not the only." Alexander bites his tongue inside his mouth as his eyes probe into my soul like daggers, "I can't love you, I won't know what I'm doing."
"Alexander why say things like that?" I shrug my dense shoulders backward that felt to be boulders resting down like weights that I couldn't shrug away. "I don't care what or who you are, I just want the man whose soul is bound to mine."
I moisten my lips by overlapping my tongue over them while trying to step closer to Alexander with arms reaching toward him to embrace my self- righteous male but he doesn't let me. Instead, he takes retreated steps away as if I carried fire in my hands and I sought to burn him.
"If history is to repeat itself well you can't break the pledge between brothers. No, that had already been severed." Alexander spat with so much menace and anger I'd be lying if it didn't rattle my bones from within but his words tore me to pieces. "But that's the very problem, you don't know such powers you haven."
"Explain that to me," I demanded. I fought back many tears in my life but I couldn't hold back the ones that were pursuing my eyelids at this very moment. One minute he's repairing me and all of the damage he'd already caused to my heart; to my everything, and the next he shatters me all over again as if I meant nothing. "Explain to me now Alexander what you're saying or I swear to god I'll tear your face off!" It wasn't a threat, it was a guaranteed promise.
I've never been one of those girls in romcoms who cry for no reason, who takes the ex-boyfriend back after lying or cheating, I never romanticized those movies with the mafia boss threatening the life of the innocent girl who uncontrollably fell in love with him. Because I knew it wasn't pretty!
Love made me feel un-pretty.
Alexander steals this moment to bring his sheltered eyes down to gaze at his feet only to snap them back up toward me, swimming with something that made me oddly tingle. "If I lose you, I won't survive. If I keep you..." his hand travels up the base of my spine as he brings it around the loop of my neck.
With so much power enticing between my nerves, pro licking the excitement out of my skin, Suddenly we are much closer than we ever were before. "If I keep you, you'll be my demise."
...