SHE was nervous as she prepared for the first show of the evening the next night. She had awoken unable to speak, canceling rehearsals that afternoon and resting in her room. Her voice sounded fine now, but she had a long evening ahead of her; she hoped she was up for it. Raphael was the first person she saw when she walked onto the stage. He was sitting at the same table as the previous evening; it was all like a macabre re-enactment, and she could feel the hysteria rising within her. She would want to die if her voice failed her tonight in front of this man.
The first few songs went well, as she ignored the man in the back of the room, sitting down on a stool after the first few songs to sing a slow love song. It was her first voice test, and as she heard the huskiness increase, she knew she wasn't going to make it.
Her terrified gaze was drawn to the man sitting in the back of the room. He was staring at her, even though he was talking to Matt, the young manager who was also staring at her. Her breathing became erratic, her panic rising as she heard herself begin to falter, the audience tensing curiously as her breathy voice became a croak and eventually faded completely.
Before she knew what was happening, strong fingers were leading her off the stage, the band softly playing in the background as Matt explained to the audience that she had a touch of laryngitis and had valiantly tried to continue with her show so that she didn't disappoint anyone; They had heard the result of her bravery. Following his speech, there was an unexpected round of applause, and Matt then invited everyone to dance to the band.
Sophia cried as she pressed her face against Raphael's chest as they stood offstage.
'You should never have attempted to go on tonight,' he snarled angrily.
She gathered herself and pushed away from him. 'I'm sorry,' she said hesitantly. 'I didn't mean to disappoint you in that way.'
His pupils dilated. 'I'm not talking about disappointing me,' he snapped. 'I'm referring to what you're doing to your voice; Matt says it's been gruff all day.'
'It's been non-existent,' she sneered. When he heard the harsh rasp in her voice, his face darkened. 'You need to see a doctor.'
'No,' she said emphatically. 'All I need is a couple of days off.' Tonight has been a washout, but I have tomorrow evening off anyway, so I'll be fine by Tuesday.'
'I doubt it,' he mocked.
As she looked up at him, her eyes flashed. 'This is an occupational hazard for a singer,' she says. And her voice was failing again, so this argument wasn't helping her at all. 'All I need is some rest,' she insisted.
'You need to see a doctor,' Raphael said arrogantly. 'OK, I'll see one!' she yelled angrily. 'But mine, not yours!'
'Excellent.' He cocked his head with arrogance. 'See to it that you do.' He turned on his heel and walked away from her.
She knew she was being a fool if she thought his concern was for anything other than his hotel's reputation; they promised live entertainment nightly—and the way she had performed tonight was a definite blot on that promise.
Sleep didn't make the breathy depth of her voice go away, even though she knew she'd be fine by tomorrow. But it was most likely this that bothered her.
'I heard what happened last night,' she says. Kat joined her as Sophia ate breakfast in the coffee shop, taking a coffee break. 'How do you feel today?'
'How do I come across?' Sophia grimaced as her voice faded away.
'It's rough,' Kat admitted sympathetically. 'What exactly is it, laryngitis?'
'Something like that,' she said, nodding. 'Who told you, Jane?' she wondered ruefully.
Kat gave a nod. 'According to her, Matt had to pull you off the stage,' she explained dryly.
'I'm afraid Mr Mcklerin was the one who ended up saving us.' She knew there was no point in concealing Raphael's role in the disaster; dozens of witnesses had seen him drag her off the stage. 'Matt stayed behind to explain,' she said abruptly.
'Oh dear,' Kat said, her face concerned. 'What did Mr Mcklerin have to say?'
'Not much.' She shrugged off the previous evening's awkwardness.
'You should go to the doctor.'
'Well, he did say that.' She smiled ruefully. 'And because I said I would, I've scheduled an appointment with one in an hour.'
'Wow, that was quick.' Kat's brow furrowed; the wait for doctor's appointments was notorious—unless you were on the verge of death!
Sophia's face flushed. 'I have a friend at the doctor's office,' she explained. 'Don't tell Rod about this,' she says. 'He's like an old hen fussing over one of her chicks when one of his people gets sick,' she sneered.
Kat burst out laughing at the description. 'I'm not going to tell him. 'Though, from the sound of you, I pmarkably won't have to,' she frowned.
Standing up, she pushed her empty coffee cup across the table. 'Have faith, Kat,' she mockingly said. 'Believe in yourself.' She smiled as she walked away.
As she sat in the doctor's waiting room, she could feel her palms getting wet. Her only remaining asset was her voice. She knew that if she could have had Raphael, she would never have sung another note, but she had no other life than her career. If she lost that, she would be left with only her memories of his love. 'Mr Hadley will see you now, Miss Williams,' said the receptionist cheerfully.
At her entrance, Dave Hadley, a small portly man with twinkling brown eyes and a warm smile, stood up. 'Sophia, it's great to see you again.' He shook her hand before noticing she was sitting. 'Or does it?' He gave her a stern look.
She'd been seeing him for the last eight months, ever since her voice started bothering her, and she'd never gotten over the fact that this Harley Street specialist always came across as a reproving uncle figure. 'It's good to see you, but as you can hear, I wish it had been under better conditions.' Her voice clearly stated the reason for her wish.
He smirked. 'Have you been resting your voice like I told you to?'
She cracked a grin. 'Remember, I told you I had a career to consider.'
'Not for long, by the sound of it,' he warned sternly.
She'd been hearing the same warning for months. 'It's what I do, Dave,' she said, shrugging. 'I'm powerless to do anything else.'
He sighed in frustration as he heard the same excuse for the same number of months. 'There will come a time when you won't have a choice,' he said gently as he began his examination. 'You've been straining your vocal chords for far too long; you need a long rest, possibly an operation, and even more rest.'
Her lips twisted. 'And I only turned down that millionaire's proposal last week!' she scoffed.
Dave didn't reciprocate her smile. 'It's either rest for at least six months or give up completely once your voice gives out on you,' he said as he sat back on the edge of his desk.
'I have contracts, Dave, and I don't have the time or the desire to stop singing for six months.'
'You really don't have a choice, Sophia,' he gently explained.
'A few days off—'
'And maybe—just maybe—you could go on for another couple of weeks,' he admitted grimly. 'Then you'll come back to see me.' Have you noticed that your visits to me are becoming more frequent? I didn't see you for two months after I examined you the first time, then six weeks, then a month, then another month, and now it's only been three weeks!
She was aware of this, and was aware that she should have returned to see him over a week ago, when her voice first began to strain again. But she couldn't give up singing, even temporarily, because she knew she'd go insane if she didn't have her career to keep her busy.
'I've noticed,' she said dismissively. 'Could you please just give me your standard treatment so I can get back to work?'
'Sophia—'
'Please, Dave.' She fixed her gaze on him. 'I'd die if I couldn't sing,' she says.
He was taken aback by her obvious sincerity. 'There are more important things in life, Sophia—'
'Not for me,' she said simply.
'Don't you have a special man in your life to tell you how stupid you're being?' he mused.
'Perhaps if I had a special man in my life, I wouldn't be so stupid,' she responded abruptly.
'Are they all deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly de Dave scoffed.
She gave him a tight smile. 'I'm the one who isn't interested, Dave.'
His mouth tightened in response to her obstinacy. 'You can't make it your whole life the way your voice is right now.'
'I already have,' she said quietly.
He sighed. 'Is there nothing I can do or say to make you see reason?'
'No.'