She knew that thinking about it wouldn't change anything, but the images wouldn't go away. Raphael had invited her to his family's home for the weekend, which he had done numerous times before. His parents seemed to accept that she had been living with him in London for the past three months, his gentle mother always warm and friendly, and his father, while not openly denying the affair, made it clear that he thought his only child could do better than a young singer in a nightclub.
She and Raphael had gone to the local country club for dinner on Saturday evening, and as they walked outside in the moonlit garden after their meal, Raphael proposed to her. Her stunned expression must have revealed her surprise. 'Darling, it can't be such a surprise,' he'd laughed indulgently; he'd laughed a lot since they'd been together, no longer the distant man she'd met. 'It must be obvious from the way I can't take my hands off you, that I have to keep touching you, that I love you.'
She blushed when he mentioned how much time they spent in bed together, Raphael liking to touch and caress her even when they weren't making love. They had been physically perfect from the start, and that aspect of the relationship had only gotten better. In fact, the entire relationship had been absolute bliss for Sophia, with the fact that Raphael was still technically married to Lora implying that there had been no pressure on her to enter into a more permanent relationship.
But Raphael had changed everything in a matter of seconds, and she could feel the panic rising inside her. 'We're fine as we are, Raphael,' she said lightly. 'Let us not ruin it.'
'Spoil it?' the laughter faded from his face. 'How could marriage ruin anything?'
'You told me you didn't want another permanent relationship,' she reminded him, her smile not concealing the strain in her eyes.
'I love you, Sophia,' he had said impatiently. 'I thought you loved me.'
'Yes, I do—'
'Then what's the problem?' he had asked, frowning. 'People who love each other tend to marry.'
'I—I just don't want to—upset things between us,' she had said, looking pale in the moonlight. 'You once loved Lora, and look what happened to that marriage,' she had pleaded.
'I still love Lora,' he said softly. 'But I don't think I ever fell in love with her.' We met at university and married because we thought we were in love and Lora's parents urged her to return to Australia. Hugh was on his way by the time the initial euphoria of what we'd done had died down. We were lovers who, over time, became friends who adored each other. When someone else came along for her about a year ago, I didn't let her down. She's a lovely lady who deserves to be happy. But I think I deserve happiness as well,' he had said frowningly. 'Meeting you and falling in love with you was the last thing on my mind when I stepped onto that ship nearly four months ago. But I did meet you, and I adore you more than life. I can't imagine my life without you.'
She'd had the same feelings, but she knew she couldn't marry him. And if she wanted to make him understand that without revealing the true reason, she had to hurt him.
'Marriage is too confining, Raphael,' she had scoffed. 'I have to be free, free to do whatever I want,' she says.
'And what do you want?' he snarled. 'I thought you were interested in me!'
'I do,' she said, throatily. 'But I also want a career and the freedom to travel wherever that career takes me.'
'You can still have those things married to me,' he'd said.
'Raphael Mcklerin's wife is a singer?' she sneered. 'I don't believe so, Raphael. What would your friends and family think about that? 'I couldn't care less what anyone says.' He was scowling. 'I'd like you to be my wife.'
'You say that now,' she frowned. 'But what about in a few years when you care what your friends and family think?' So, Raphael, what now?'
'It won't happen,' he said impatiently. 'Besides, I doubt you'll want to continue your career indefinitely.'
'Why won't I?' she'd inquired.
'Well—I—You can't sing for the rest of your life,' he had grumbled.
'Why can't I?' she'd asked softly.
He had sighed impatiently. 'Surely one day you'll just want to relax and settle down?'
No.' She had given a firm shake of her head. 'That is precisely what I do not want.'
'Do you want us to just keep doing this living together thing?'
'Yes!'
'And what if I want more?'
She had swallowed forcefully. 'I can't give you anything more.'
His lips had thinned with rage. 'Perhaps you just need some time to think about it,' he had bit out.
'After all, I'm still married to Lora, and we've never even discussed marriage.' You most likely haven't given it much thought.'
He'd been wrong, she'd considered it, and dismissed it, as she always did.
They'd driven back to his parents' house in silence, and Sophia had been relieved for the first time that they'd been assigned separate bedrooms; she wouldn't have been able to be near Raphael that night without blubbering out the truth to him. They had parted at her bedroom door, and she had known from Raphael's tight-lipped disappointment that there would be no late-night trip to her bedroom tonight, as there had been in the past when they had stayed with his parents, that Raphael had been too hurt to want her tonight. She had been correct in sleeping poorly because she knew things between the two of them were over. He would never settle for anything less than marriage right now, and she would never marry him.
When she joined him at the breakfast table, Darius Mcklerin informed her, 'My son has gone out riding.' 'He appeared to be a little—distraught.'
'Really?' She sipped her revitalizing coffee, wishing Bella Mcklerin was there to balance out the harsh disapproval Darius Mcklerin had shown her whenever they were alone. But because Bella always ate breakfast in her bedroom, Sophia knew she wouldn't get any help from that direction.
'Have you two argued?' Darius had prodded ruthlessly.
Despite not being as tall or as well-built as his son, Darius Mcklerin exuded a different kind of power. Sophia hadn't felt at ease with his blue-eyed stare since the first time they met.
'We've—er—had a minor disagreement,' she admitted warily.
'I'm grateful for this time alone with you.' He had spoken softly, as if he were a snake. 'I'd like to speak with you about something personal.'
'Yes?' She had given him a wary look.
'In my study,' he'd said. 'Somewhere where we can't be disturbed.'
'Can't' be, not 'won't' be! Sophia's tension had risen as she followed him out of the room. Darius Mcklerin had never gone out of his way to speak with her before, and this meeting seemed foreboding.
'Sit down,' he said as he took a seat behind the imposing desk. 'I'd like to show you something.'
'Yes?' She had sat down quietly, with trepidation in every bone of her body. Darius Mcklerin had the demeanor of a snake about to strike his prey—and she was it!
He had shifted the picture on the wall behind him to one side, revealing a safe, which he had deftly opened to retrieve a folder. 'Can you tell me what this is?' He had turned to face her. Sophia had a frown. 'Should I?'
'Perhaps if you had gotten to know me better.' As he sat behind the desk, he smiled without humour. 'When my only son and heir brings home a cheap little singer like you and introduces her to his mother and me, I feel compelled to protect him from making a fool of himself.'
Sophia had tensed at his emotionless insult, knowing that worse was on the way. There was a lot worse!
'So I had you look into it—'
'No!' she exclaimed.
'Yes,' he'd said coldly. 'This file contains all of the information I require about Sophia Williams.' You see, I believe my son intends to propose to you—'
'He already has,' she admitted dully, staring at the file, knowing what was inside.
'Last night,' she says.
Blue eyes had narrowed ice-cold. 'And your response?'
'I said no,' she explained slowly.
'However, Raphael did not accept that as your final response.' Darius Mcklerin had correctly predicted the reason for her hesitancy.
'No,' she admitted with stiff lips.
He had made a slight inclination of his head. 'Can you tell me what's in this file?'
She had swallowed forcefully. 'Yes.'
'And how would it affect my son?' He had raised his brows to an iron-grey level.
'Yes,' she choked out.
'I think it would be better for all of us if you could persuade Raphael that you really meant it when you said no.' 'Don't you?' he had softly inquired.
'I tried,' she said, her voice breaking. 'He—when he wants to be, he can be very stubborn.'
'Then you have to try harder, Sophia,' he had said cheerfully. 'Unless you want me to introduce him to Paul Raymond,' I say. He smiled as he heard her choked sob. 'I see you remember Paul.'