BRIAN
As I watch all the scenery go by as we make our way to the helicopter, an unexpected thought jumps in my mind. My mother just died, I have no one. I do not know who my dad is and when I am finished with my mission I will be all alone. I shake my head trying to get rid of that thought but no luck.
I try very hard to think about a moment that I felt my mother loved me but I do not remember all I remember is how she pushed me away. The bad thing about this is even in her letter she told me that she blamed me for my father's death. How irrational would a person be to think something like that?
I did not ask to come into this world, she made a mistake and now I am the result of it. I know they say that you should cry to let the grief come and go but I just can not get myself so far to do it. It is still not real to me. It does not feel like it is happening to me. It feels like I am watching a movie.
