During that short time Tamotsu's eye disease had worsened, and the veins near his right eye were clearly visible. After another lesson, he walked into the clubroom during the long break and saw Yumiko sitting peacefully in her chair. She was eating her lunch, which she had made before school so she wouldn't have to spend money on the canteen.
"Hi."
Their gazes crossed.
"Hi, Tamotsu-kun. Came for lunch too, or for some other reason?"
"There was no reason to come here," he huddled against the board on the wall. "I wanted to get a curious whiff of tranquility. For that, in fact, is why I joined you. You have a very cozy place here."
"You know how to make conversation, Tamotsu-kun. I thank you for your resourcefulness in that regard, and for honoring our club."
"Of course, how can I not honor it? Or do you mean those nerds who dislike the literary studies club for reasons of all sorts of stereotypes that such clubs have tolerated throughout their lives since their inception?"
"Absolutely. People think that literary clubs are generally useless and have nothing to do with the field of entertainment that they would like to have after joining, so they join sports clubs or whatever, but that's not true at all. The literary club is good for something, too, especially drawing people in."
"You mean you? You're really very similar to each other in some ways, for example, you have the same style of communication."
"You're a little muddled, that's not true at all! Otherwise, I cannot deny that we are not similar to each other. Don't you, Tamotsu-kun, consider yourself similar to us?"
"Am I not floating on the same wavelength as you? Mm, I wondered about that earlier. If you count conceptually, I'm not much different from you either, but it's worth clarifying how. If in fact, I don't think I have any particular traits that overlap with yours that would make me understand our kinship. I am, after all, of a completely different breed..."
Yumiko noticed a strange look of regret on his face, and in the meantime Tamotsu's gaze was staring at the ceiling.
"Tamotsu-kun, what affected you to come to this conclusion? Does anything bother you?"
"No, forget it. What am I talking about... I don't want to discuss such things, Yumiko-chan, it makes me too irritated. Who else but you should know about it?"
"I see. In that case, please excuse me."
"No, you don't have to apologize; it's not your fault. And by the way, I wanted to talk to you about one thing..."
"Of course, I don't mind talking to you, Tamotsu-kun."
"The fact that our last names are..."
"Ah, that's what you mean. You don't have to worry — for it's the only choice!"
"Are you sure about this, Yumiko-chan? I know you're very worried about us."
"Ask me anything! It's in the family's nature to support each other."
"Well...anyway. You remember the very day I confessed my love to you, don't you?"
Tamotsu was slightly afraid that Yumiko might hate him after hearing his sudden question, and he had his reasons for not wanting to talk to others about it. Yumiko's words affected him neutrally, so she revealed no emotion other than respect for her interlocutor.
"Of course I remember. Is that what you wanted to talk about?"
"Yes, I wanted to know how you felt about me, since I got rejected and soon showed up at your club with spontaneous desires. I probably seem like a stalker. Don't you think so?"
"Oh, that's it. No, I don't, because if you were a stalker, you wouldn't be positively influencing the rest of the club. You wouldn't be interested in them at all. Then again, you had no other choice."
"But if I had some kind of plan with me, the idea of which also built a method of gaining authority from the friends? It's much easier to use people if they trust you wholeheartedly."
"Therein lies the pattern of stalkers — they wouldn't simply do such things, but if they did, they could be figured out by the factors of revealing emotion. Fortunately, such people are called a little differently, not stalkers."
Tamotsu slowed his pace and removed the tension, realizing that Yumiko had no negative opinions about him at all.
"I see, thank you. I kept thinking that you were trying to avoid me after learning that I joined the same club as you. I'm really not a stalker in that regard. Thank you for understanding me."
"You don't have to. Only one thing concerns me, Tamotsu-kun..."
"Yeah? I'm willing to consider your excitement, Yumiko-chan."
"I sense a certain mystery in your face, as if you're frantically trying to hide something from us, but I don't know what. They're not true, are they, my assumptions, and I made all this up? I want to believe it, Tamotsu-kun, truly..."
Tamotsu lowered his eyes sadly, after being surprised by her piercing and interested gaze. He was initially frightened, but taking in the peaceful tone of her voice, he gradually calmed down.
"I'm fine, Yumiko-chan, so you don't have to worry."
'Maybe someday I'll tell you about it, but certainly not now, for that's not what my main task is built on. I will be abandoned if I break my oath, and I will become a nobody in this whole rotten world. Therefore, therefore, I...'
"All right," she interrupted the flow of his dark thoughts with her peaceful look. "I'm willing to take that as a positive answer. Why, I can't blame you, can I? I have no right to do so," she murmured graciously, and Tamotsu was pleased to hear her peaceful voice.
Tamotsu was and still is comfortable in and around his clubhouse, for he did not know when such a pleasant atmosphere between him and his mates might be trampled by further events, of which only the Almighty could know. This was what Tamotsu himself believed, so he honored every second of his being in this place, where he felt there was a warmth that gave him the good will to continue to believe in a miracle.
"Thank you so much."
'I will continue to protect you from trouble and be a third eye until you make your choice, and a move you will be proud of, Yumiko Satou.'
Yumiko's gaze was fixed on the window, which reflected the outline of his bruised state of mind.
***
On one of the next days that wandered into the abyss of routine for club members, Yumiko and Ryou stepped outside without their jackets during a short break. They walked toward the vending machines where people usually buy mineral and carbonated drinks. The street was not showing cold weather, and it was getting warmer with each unseen day.
"It's been a long time since you and I fiddled with buying soda."
"Uh-huh. Mostly it's because of the busyness about exams, but this direction toward the street machine has become native to me."
"Also, since yesterday, Glenn and Akiko started dating. You haven't heard about that? That's just what I wanted to talk to you about. Still, someday we should have continued this business of buying soda every day, and this day was fitting for that sort of thing, after all."
"Yes, I heard that news from Attyan last evening when I was about to go to bed."
"You're going to bed in the evening?! What planet did you land from, Yu-chan?"
"Excellent, I like jokes like that in my direction. Attyan has joked about it more than once, too. It's because I've been getting really overworked lately."
"Studying, then... And how many hours a day?"
"From coming to school to wanting to sleep. Basically, I finish studying around ten o'clock at night."
"In that time you should have already overtaken the knowledge they serve at school. Have you really gone to the university level?!"
"What level is that?! Anyway, that's the way it is. At the same time, I'm memorizing the non-spread answers that come in the exam, just in case. It's not bragging, but I'm ashamed to answer such questions... To the Attyan, I seem like a chump who spends too much time studying."
"Really? Well, I couldn't agree more with Aki-chan on that one. You're overdoing it, but that's what I like about you."
Yumiko accepted his good-naturedness peacefully. They reached the vending machine they had always bought drinks from for the past few months before their next classes, so the road to that vending machine was remembered as something mundane.
When Yumiko wanted to get her purse out of her bag, Ryou unselfishly guided his hand filled with the right amount of money to buy soda for two people.
"Let me pay the amount for you," he said, praised for his kindness, whereupon Yumiko awkwardly grabbed his hand.
"No need! Please don't spoil me with such—"
"I want to pay for you willingly. This is gratitude for placing me close to you without regret, Yu-chan. Let me show my love for you in this way."
Yumiko could not utter a word, in a stupor. She lowered her trembling hands, whereupon Ryou swiftly began to put coins in the hole. Yumiko, who had her head down, lost all confidence in herself.
'With these principles... you extinguish all appreciation for the existence of other important things, Ryou-kun... I am not at all grateful for such conditions in my life. It crushes me from within. A term that is the epitome of my self-pity, and sympathy for the fact that you, Ryou-kun, have lost all aspiration for your future... Tragedy.'
"Yu-chan, is something bothering you?"
Said Ryou, noticing how she stood with her head down. Her hair, which reached to her shoulders, covered her face from prying eyes. Soon she glanced back at the guy.
"There's nothing wrong with me."
Her look seemed creepy to the young man — hard and distressed, but with a dash of some smile gave her a grimness, and her bags under her eyes, whose presence signaled her inner stress and lack of sleep, finally showed up.
Her stress was about the future she was so anxious about. The future was not only hers, but also that of her friends, whose presence in her life equipped her with both joy and sadness. She was looking to herself for a reason as to what she should do to restore a healthy relationship between them.