About two weeks ago, after classes ended, Tomoyuki and Ryou gathered with members of the volleyball club in the gymnasium and played a game, divided into two teams. When the game ended, the players were exhausted from its length, and Tomoyuki and Ryou took to wiping sweat from their faces with a towel while standing on the corner of the court.
"I should hurry home today, my sister called me in on urgent business, the details of which she unfortunately didn't tell me."
"Good, then I won't see you off. Let's go wash up, or the sweat won't wipe off."
An equally tired Yamada and his classmate, who was slightly shorter in height than Ryou, came up to them. He was the same man Ryou had fought the first time he met Yamada.
"Great game. Really, the game got a little too long under the middle."
"Yamada-kun, I told you it wasn't a great idea to have a game after school," Ryou wiped his face with his blue towel. "Today was hard enough as it is. Thursday always is, haven't you forgotten?"
"I'm sorry, I felt a strong urge to play this day with some strong players. You were in the middle of it today. I couldn't help but invite you two."
"Anyway. What about the next match, when do you arrange it?" Tomoyuki asked.
"Hmm? Weren't you going to spend the next few days getting ready for the new year as a literary club?"
"You make a good point."
"I have to leave right away."
"By the way, Tomoyuki-kun. Could you wait for me now and stay for a while?"
"Yamada-kun? What do you want to talk about?"
"That is... We'd like to discuss in private, but unfortunately Ryuo-kun won't be able to be present for the important conversation today," Yamada's friend revealed.
"I don't think I would be too saddened by my non-participation in the conversation. Next time."
Ryou headed toward the dressing room, where he intended to pick up his backpack of clothes, "I can go in this look today, Tomoyuki-chan. You don't have to wait."
"Okay..."
Ryou trailed off.
"We should wash up first," Yamada stated.
Soon, as he and Tomoyuki and his friend walked out of the school building, they changed into their school uniforms before doing so.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?"
They walked down the short stairs.
"Ah, yes. Nothing much, Tomoyuki-kun."
Yamada pulled out a full bottle of water from his briefcase and handed it to Tomoyuki, to which he agreed to drink a sip first.
"How did you like today's game?"
"Great, even though you and I lost again. Shimada-kun is still as good a pitcher as Ryou-kun, but when they're on the same team, they're unmatched."
"No, I'm embarrassed," Shimada replied.
"That's right. Next time, let's properly distribute the power levels of the teams, but I don't want to fight alongside Ryou-kun, because I want to beat him in the match."
"Ah, so that's it. Indeed, we've never won against him before."
"Where did he come from? You should know, Tomoyuki-kun."
"He said he used to be into sports, but soon gave it up. He probably only played volleyball with his relatives when he was still living in Kyoto."
"Kyoto... Great city. I wish I could go there again, to see all the splendor of our Japanese culture. The glitter of the sakura petals during sunny days amazed me since childhood, that I didn't want to look back at anything else."
"You're very well-read, Yamada-kun. I didn't expect you to be."
"In my spare time, I do a lot of self-development. I don't always have to be out on the streets, but I'm starting to mature."
"What, you want to quit your 'routine' life?"
"Don't worry about him, Tomoyuki-kun. It's a case he'll never give up."
'He'll never give it up...' Tomoyuki thought to himself. 'I can relate. He's not in a hurry to get on the train of maturity, like me.'
He looked back at Yamada, walking in front, and noticed a certain bitterness in his next words.
"Only adulthood has the power to quiet the youth movement. I will not be capable of discarding anything until the others begin to, for they are moving with me."
"It's true. Most of the bullies are only children, unwilling to take responsibility for the life that will be in store for them in the future. They reject reality in every way possible, chasing childhood."
"This is exactly the topic I wanted to bring up, Tomoyuki-kun, but I didn't know how to begin the conversation itself."
Tomoyuki was slightly surprised at his words.
"You brought the communication to this topic yourself. Now I can be calm, thank you."
Yamada and Shimada fell silent, and soon Yamada stopped. Tomoyuki and Shimada halted after him.
"Once upon a time, I heard on the news that three high school students were shot and killed under unknown circumstances."
His tone of voice became low and confused, as if the teenager were trying to show his wariness.
Anxiety suddenly awoke in Tomoyuki, and Yamada turned to Tomoyuki with a serious face.
"It turned out that the three teenagers were members of the same youth gang. The murderer was captured and a certain schoolboy was accused of complicity, but after conclusions in court and refutation of all the evidence, of which there was little, the schoolboy was released for some reason. The main evidence was that he was a student at the same school as the dead bullies. As a matter of fact, those students were acquaintances of mine... Takashi-kun, Jiahao-kun and Makoto-kun, I still can't forget them because they were important figures in the youth movement. All the bullies who knew them mourned their deaths. But here was the defendant's name..."
Tomoyuki's eyes widened in a sudden display of awe, his shoulders trembling and tense as he saw Yamada's gaze directed at him with all incomprehension.
"Tomoyuki Yamashita."
"What do you mean by that...?"
"It is you, isn't it? No other Tomoyuki Yamashita my friends and I know. Tell me honestly, were you the one accused of murder?"
'I should refute his thinking... If things don't happen in my favor, they can find out a little more about the investigation by the end. I'll be locked up in juvie if I spill my guts... Be quiet, be cool... Control yourself. Is Yamada-kun seriously trying to get involved in the investigation? He did say that Takashi, Jiahao, and Makoto were his acquaintances... I won't stir up anything unnecessary.'
"Come on, answer me, Tomoyuki-kun... It's you, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is..."
'Damn, I feel too insecure. You shouldn't overdo it...'
"I see."
Yamada suddenly put both of his muscular hands on his shoulders, which made Tomoyuki flinch, but when he saw his distressed face, he shuddered in even more doubt.
"I'm sorry, Tomoyuki-kun! They were your friends, after all..."
'What?! What's going on?'
"In the investigation, no one knew the truth about you being Takashi-kun's close friend. That's understandable, because none of the witnesses blabbed about it! They thought you were a victim, but there were those who were seriously convinced. I don't know what truth lies behind it, but the fact that you could have been put behind bars along with the bastard who killed Takashi and the others... It makes me furious at the incompetence of the police authorities, how dare they even make such a reckless case against you!"
"That's right!" revealed Shimada. "What's also surprising is how no one put out a rumor about you, even after you transferred to our school. The incident was quickly forgotten, but that's understandable, because it's unlikely that Takashi and his friends were liked by the other teenagers. Tomoyuki-kun, to meet you is a great honor for the whole bully estate!"
'So the bullies know about my proximity to the trio? But where could that have come from? Although, come to think of it, I often participated in all sorts of events with them... Maybe a certain gang spread rumors about it? Or those little guys... who tried to push me around.'
"We're very sorry that your close friends died. Though they should have been less harsh on the victims, this trio only showed themselves positively. We've thought for a long time that you, Tomoyuki-kun, might be the one accused, but we never pushed the subject, leaving it at the same dead point. I am sincerely glad to have met such a person Takashi-kun deemed close to him."
"Takashi-kun..."
"Ah, I'm sorry," Yamada removed his hands so that Tomoyuki's shoulders felt less strained. "I shouldn't have reminded you of the incident. Don't you want to relax a little?"
"Yeah. We're willing to take a walk down the street now, and talk about stuff. Would you like to come with us, Tomoyuki-kun?"
"Okay."
'It didn't end at all the way I could have anticipated. Maybe I should have taken the subject less seriously. I don't think so, though, because if I relax, I might get found out, and my life will be over.'
They walked along the road.
"Ah, by the way. Yamada-kun, Shimada-kun. Who were the trio to you?"
"Inspirers. They were an example to us. That's hilarious - because we really thought what we were doing back then was an interesting thing. Hooliganism is draining, and one is repulsed by regular and quiet society. You've defected to quiet society, haven't you, Tomoyuki-kun?"
"Yes. I originally did not wish to participate in the kind of affairs in which Takashi-kun and the others were involved. A quiet life would have suited me better, I thought at the time."
"That means you grew up much earlier than the others. Found your way to the light and carefree life of an ordinary schoolboy who didn't care about anything but a quiet environment and his close friends. I understand Takashi-kun, why he chose you. Sometimes I start to think about ordinary things myself."
Tomoyuki noticed Yamada's gradual decline in the timbre of his voice and suggested that he, too, sometimes wanted an ordinary life.
"What's really a normal life for you, Tomoyuki-kun? Is it carefree and quiet, or explosive and hyperactive? The truth is, there's no right answer. Each life is good in its own way, and you can't avoid fitting into modern society. But combining one with the other is not an option, that's my opinion."
"Everything depends on the society in which one originally grew up. It is society that influences a person's future thinking. That's why bullies don't tolerate the life that ordinary teenagers have, because they don't find that life comfortable and relaxing at all."
"Is that why, Tomoyuki-kun, you started living a normal life?"
"Hmm? I'm not quite sure where you're going with this."
"Involved in bullying, a person can no longer become normal. I would call such a person running away from his true self and his ideals that were born in him before, and dooming himself to a waste of time."
Tomoyuki was stunned by his statement:
'Running away from the self... the real self, and his ideals...? But I...'
Tomoyuki opened his eyes and saw before him a swarm of teenagers gathered in one circle, dressed in warm and modern clothes suitable for their burgeoning generation.
'What am I doing here?'
It was the evening of the same day, when the sun went out and the city shrouded the evening sky, and Tomoyuki with Yamada and Shimada were standing around this circle of gathered teenagers.
The company consisted of youthful brawlers, talking furiously to each other so much that their voices were impossible to make out. A few moments earlier, Yamada had suggested to Tomoyuki that they go for a walk, which eventually turned into a request to go with them to a certain place.
"Would you like to see some new blood?" Yamada asked kindly before then, but Tomoyuki had completely forgotten why he had agreed.
This place was one of those typical neighborhoods for such young people, especially the lack of people and security. People stood at the base of a bridge leading from one street to another. Tomoyuki and Yamada huddled against the short column of the bridge, and Tomoyuki cast discreet glances at the teenagers, keeping his eyes on Shimada, who was chatting with his girlfriend at the time.
"We don't know everyone here. Some come from another district, but every single one of us values each other. We are one big family. Family though noisy, the people here know how to have genuine fun. The key is to understand what constitutes fun for them. There aren't a lot of amateurs here, mostly just teenagers whose lives have somehow become tied to hooliganism."
'None of them honor human life. They put themselves at risk by structuring in themselves a foundation of negative thinking. I can't believe that I, too, was once situated in such a society, even though I wished very differently from my life.'
"Can you imagine what we expect here?"
"Hmm, this meeting was probably prepared in advance, judging by the density of this crowd. Maybe the ringleaders are going to come, too?"
"Not quite right, but you make a great point. The bikers. They've generally covered the gang contingent, and they're loved by teenagers in the community. We're expecting them."
'They're going to watch the motorcycle race?'
The gathering heard the sharp and rumbling rumble of motorcycles rushing at breakneck speed; their menacing exhaust echoed through one of the distant intersections. Tomoyuki found the sound stabbing, so he was uncomfortable with the roar of the engines. Behind each rider sat a girl. The motorcycles nonchalantly drove down the track and drove right up to the crowd. Part of the crowd parted, opening the motorcyclists' entrance right into the living circle.
All attention was taken by the five motorcyclists, forcing them to park sharply as they entered the circle, and Tomoyuki found their movement somewhat impertinent. The five, along with their passengers, got off their bikes and removed their helmets. The bikers turned out to be teenagers, and Tomoyuki recognized some of them as schoolchildren whose age seemed less than his.
'My perception of them was a little different. These kids...ride motorcycles?'
The motorcycle riders and gals dispersed in different directions, hearing the raucous applause and shouts of their personal admirers. Two of them in particular were walking in the same direction, and a guy who seemed to Tomoyuki to be the oldest of the crowd approached them.
"Thanks for letting me ride your horse," said one biker, who was as tall as Tomoyuki and dressed in a green fur jacket and black round glasses.
"No thanks necessary," the man answered him.
Tomoyuki did not hear their conversation.
"Se-e-e-anji! Go-o-ro!" the schoolgirls cheered.
Tomoyuki immediately spotted them as groupies. The short, skinny-bodied motorcyclist handed the guy the keys and they headed forward.
"That's not what I'm worried about at the moment," he added with excitement.
"Yamada must be around here somewhere," said the other, tall and wiry, whose ash-colored hair, styled on two sides, and silver ring-shaped earrings gave his personality a special charm.
He asked the girls loudly about Yamada, and they opened the way for them to go on, where Tomoyuki and Yamada were. Shimada turned his attention to them and followed them.
"Senji-san, I'm free tomorrow! Let's go on a date!"
The guy didn't respond, only following ahead. The loud chattering of the crowd was keeping them busy. They approached them, and Tomoyuki was able to get a good look at the short guy's face. He had brown hair and was wearing dark jeans with a chain on one side.
They said hello to Yamada, after which the short guy looked at Tomoyuki.
"Yamada-kun, where is that guest you called for?"
"He's standing in front of you."
From the changed tone of Yamada's voice, the blue-eyed man guessed that Senji was revered in the circle as a separate object of reverence. Could it be that he was in charge here? Much more in charge than Yamada himself?
The tall guy humbly turned his attention to Tomoyuki, who seemed slightly misunderstood.
"Senji, Goro, meet Tomoyuki. This is Tomoyuki Yamashita. That's the man."
"You are not mistaken?" Goro asked in his dejected tone, to which Yamada shook his head slightly.
'He doesn't look like what I imagined him to look like,' thought Goro.
"Hey, is it true?" Senji asked with a lowered tone.
"I am Tomoyuki Yamashita."
Senji, hearing these words and pondering them for a few seconds, began to look childishly enthusiastic, and his face took on the features of bright recognition.
"How happy I am to be able to see you, Tomoyuki-sempai! I don't regret being here in the slightest, do you understand, Goro?"
"Calm down, Senji-chan."
Tomoyuki turned his attention to Goro, and he pointed his finger at Senji:
"This is Senji, and my name is Goro."
"Um, nice to meet you."
"You have no idea how pleased I am! At first I was hesitant and thought it was some kind of joke, but after making sure that you, Tomoyuki-san, were really the one I had been looking for for so many years, I couldn't contain my joy."
"Yamashita-san, he has admired you for a long time. Right now he can't really explain anything because of the shock."
"I can talk myself, Goro-chan. Anyway, Tomoyuki-san, are you comfortable here? Are you happy to meet us?"
"Don't be clingy. You look pathetic."
"Goro-kun, he's understandable. After all, we were all interested in Tomoyuki here," Yamada retorted. "Senji-kun should loosen up a bit now."
"Since when did you decide to boss me around?" Senji changed in a flash. "I'm just explaining to Tomoyuki-sempai what the point is."
'These guys are the big shots nowadays?' Tomoyuki was perplexed."
"Senji-kun, Goro-kun," Shimada came up to them, and said hello.
"Come on, Tomoyuki-sempai, answer!"
Senji couldn't stop cheering, quenching his thirst by staring at Tomoyuki.
"This place doesn't make me happy."
"Gosh! I thought so, this herd knows nothing but how to upset people. We should definitely move to a quieter place!"
Before Tomoyuki knew it, they were approaching a certain square where there was not a living soul but them. Their darkened ears were covered with longing, and the square was open and represented a courtyard.
They stood by the lamppost that last illuminated the path, and Senji and Yamada huddled against the trellis.
"It's not far from where we stopped," Yamada added.
"This courtyard is closed off from people in a special way."
Tomoyuki and Shimada lit their cigarettes.
"No one but you smokes here."
"Good point, Goro-chan," Senji walked over to Tomoyuki's side. "Allow me to introduce myself — my name is Senji Hoshizuki. I followed in your and Takashi Matsuoka's footsteps, for since childhood I have dreamed of being like you."
"Goro Tatsuya."
"He is my friend, and we made a great effort together to be near you, Tomoyuki-sempai. To me, however, you are a hero. Therefore, may I inquire exactly why you gave up your role?"
'I had no role of any kind whatsoever. It's their fantasy.'
"You, Tomoyuki-sempai, went the other way because of the death of Takashi and his friends?"
The deep darkness that lurked within Tomoyuki expressed from his eyes, and Senji noticed the stabbing glare in his direction.
"Ah, please excuse me! I didn't mean to upset you, honestly. This is pure self-interest."
Tomoyuki sighed, removing the tension:
"Why do you have such an interest in me?"
"Because you are my sole inspiration. You, I suppose, are not even aware of the popularity you have in private circles. I will, with your permission, make it clear to you: you, Tomoyuki-sempai, are a legend."
"A legend...?"
"It is rightly said that when a man builds his way, he does not notice what fruit he has left behind. Your ferocity in battling your enemies is astounding."
Looking off into the distance, Senji added thoughtfully:
"I am amused by the philosophy of Takashi Matsuoka. He was a man who had no regrets, and who managed to leave behind a whole series of reflections that were worth pondering. Everyone was afraid of him, but there were those whom he feared. Among them, I'm sure, were you, Tomoyuki-sempai.
To tell you the truth, there are some things I've been preoccupied with lately. They, to my surprise, bring me a fabulous income. They're all my 'chained dogs'. They don't take naps for their master."
'You think you know Takashi-kun's philosophy?' Tomoyuki was out of his mind, and pondering the guy's words. 'Do you think he didn't regret what he did and the mess he had to clean up?'
"Are you proud of that?"
"It's not pride, it's fact. They are without other thoughts under my control, and that means I'm luckier than Takashi. I tell you this to see your reaction, but you don't seem interested. I can introduce you to one wretched girl, if you like. But I hardly think you're interested in ordinary conversation with a slave girl. You can do whatever you like with her."
'Bullshit.'
"I don't care."
"I don't regret your choice one bit, Tomoyuki-sempai! These scum deserve neither pity nor care. Anyway..."
He suddenly drew a folding knife from his pocket, then pointed it toward the light of the lantern, lowered his foxy gaze slightly, and began to wipe the sharp blade with his palm.
"My victims obey me wholeheartedly."
Goro's phone, which he held in his hand, rang, whereupon he answered, "Good," and dropping the receiver, calmly announced that they were being called back.
"Looks like we won't get much rest from the herd today, Tomoyuki-sempai," Senji added, and putting his knife in his pocket, he turned to the back road and put his hands on the back of his head, showing his relaxation. "That's okay, I don't plan on causing the end of the world just yet."
Tomoyuki threw out an unfinished cigarette. They walked back to the bridge under which they had previously hung out with a crowd of teenagers.
After a little while, they were standing by that same crowd again, and Senji and Goro said goodbye to them.
"Hope to see you again, Tomoyuki-sempai! I can't wait to talk to you in peace, for I wonder what kind of person you are 'really'. Rest assured, we shall meet again."
They were taken in by a crowd of teenagers.
'This noise... This society... What did I come here for again? I won't accept these people again and I won't let them come near me and my friends. These reckless kids with their sense of grandeur will never rest, continuing to drag innocent people into their affairs. They live with actions that are indefensible, with the belief that things will get better when they grow up. They flaunt their social status, which is really useless trash in a normal environment.'
His disdain for what was going on around him loosened him up, and he began talking quietly with himself, aware that no one would hear him.
"Cool... We began to feel the full effect of being in this environment again... How long have I wished for this moment..." (Tomoyuki)
"He doesn't seem to like being here... Doesn't want to settle down among his own people?" (Tomoyuki)
"What does it matter, he has long since ceased to understand anything. Hasn't he? Why don't you answer?" (Tomoyuki)
"Our voices are the embodiment of your inner world, and we are your emotions... We are one, but why do you still not accept us? Will you keep avoiding your destiny?" (Tomoyuki)
"Come on, let us in! It's easier with us. With us you'll relax and let go of the tension. You're fed up enough as it is." (Tomoyuki)
"What's keeping you up?" (Tomoyuki)
"This is where we belong. Thanks to these people, you are what you are now up to the present time! Are you afraid for your friends? They won't suspect a thing." (Tomoyuki)
Beneath his lowered hair was hidden his grim look, and the tension in his body, which had barely subsided after his encounter with Senji, was gradually building up again.
'This society will never change. It is overflowing with both jealousy and stupidity. Jealousy is representative of a lack of self-sufficiency. Stupidity represents ideals left over from childhood."
After a few seconds of modestly watching Shimada having fun with his familiar girlfriends, Yamada turned his attention to the quiet Tomoyuki.
"You still don't want to go back, do you? Good, because this place isn't for you. I know you, and of course I fully understand. For these people... grew up on dead streets."
Yamada began to regret bringing Tomoyuki here. The blue-eyed guy looked contemptuously at the empty bottle of soda thrown away by one man. His eyes seemed utterly devastated and covered in thickened darkness.
'I — the embodiment of my friends' hopes, and I will do anything to keep them from seeing this horror. I will keep them away from this unrest. Even if I have to kill a man to do so.'