Tomoyuki, who had been deprived of social stability, lived in a gray world devoid of parents and friends. His parents were involved in a high-speed crash and never returned home, leaving their son, who had known the fear of losing loved ones, in the care of his grandmother. As the youngster began to think with his head as he transitioned to high school, Grandma was in her sixties and had a particularly vivid health problem.
Old age is the only just deprivation of life, Tomoyuki realized. No death or murder can be tolerated, so nothing but death by old age was fair. Tomoyuki's emergence as an individual had barely made its appearance, but this process in the young man's life was stopped by the appearance of the three high school martyrs.
And nothing was more important to him than trust. He considered the mutual trust of people to be an indicator of virtue and grace, for everything in this mortal world was created by the trust of people who decided to unite for the sake of creating innovations. Innovation rules! But could he have known that there was a certain contingent of people in today's pious life that rejected all innovations — rejected evolution?
Even Takashi, a man who had dispensed with social equality and honor, had the traits of a trusting man. From his appearance, his kinsmen would claim that he could be trusted, for on the outside Takashi looked kind, which was an unobvious speculation. There was in reality no compassion for the unkind, no responsibility for the action he had incurred.
But Tomoyuki was proud to have befriended them — to have a close relationship with a society of very different ideals was for him on a par with overcoming his limits.
One cloudless day, contemplating the clear rays of sunshine overhead, they met on the sports field, where they noticed an oddity on Tomoyuki's body — his form had not changed much over months of intense training, which seemed abnormal to Takashi when you consider how much of an increase in his strength was felt in their recent duel.
Jiahao advanced the theory that Tomoyuki was born with weak genes, for that was the only answer as to why his body seemed fragile. However, he also allowed for the option of a lack of proper nutrition, and the schoolboy agreed with his words, noting that he had long been accustomed to low food intake.
As a result, Jiahao noticed a surprising feature for his imagination — Tomoyuki's shoulders and legs had grown so strong that it was acceptable to flaunt their elegance in front of the girls. Tomoyuki, on the other hand, undressed by the interest of Jiahao and Takashi, was embarrassed beyond belief.
Makoto looked over Takashi with a hard stare, genuinely misunderstanding until now why he had bothered to introduce Tomoyuki to them, who on the outside seemed to be a teenager of a different caliber, softer and . The presence of Tomoyuki joining their social circle did not make Makoto very happy, believing it to be more correct without his involvement in their affairs. No one knew for sure how Tomoyuki might act in the future; whether he might interfere in their unsightly lives.
Jiahao seemed serious and called Takashi over to talk:
"We've finally moved on. The informant has evidence."
Takashi, dumbfounded by the abrupt news, rapt with his whole body, after which they pulled away briefly to discuss their conversation in private. Tomoyuki, interested in what his friends were babbling about, mentally wanted to clarify the situation so hidden from his ears.
Makoto was already aware of the news that had overtaken him, so he sat meekly on the bench next to the teenagers, looking up at the uninteresting blue of the sky with relaxed shoulders. When Jiahao and Takashi disappeared from sight, Makoto decided to tell everything he knew so that Tomoyuki could summarize in his head. From the first words he revealed, Tomoyuki sensed that this was not going to be an easy conversation.
***
With the onset of autumn, whose impassioned beginning flew by like a lost lark in search of his family, Tomoyuki came with thoughts of his changed life. His friendship between the hooligan trio had grown so strong that even Makoto, who had fundamentally repulsed him from the beginning with his sharp eyes, had managed to settle down with him.
On this day, Takashi received the monthly payment that had become their ritual from Tomoyuki, but the amount was much higher, to which the older man thanked him for his kindness.
'Something Tomoyuki splurged on,' he reflected, 'though it doesn't matter if he still gives me his money. It is, after all, in honor of our friendship, so there is nothing to worry about.'
Ending this topic on a calm note, he noticed how Tomoyuki seemed uninspired, and asked him about it. Tomoyuki only shook his head, answering that nothing had happened.
After buying chips at the convenience store, Takashi remembered:
"Tomoyuki-kun, did you clean your revolver? I completely forgot about it."
"Of course, it's at my house, hidden in a safe place."
"Please don't forget to give it to me next time, or I'll forget about it for another couple of months. That's the way I am, absent-minded."
"You name it, he's got no business being in my house — there's bound to be more trouble I wouldn't want to get into."
"By the way, it hurts you to withhold your parents. I wouldn't believe for the life of me that you, a man with a full family, wouldn't show alarms with bringing a revolver home. They don't monitor your activities at all?"
"Not at all," Tomoyuki unintentionally revealed dejectedly, and tried to muffle his feelings with a slight smile. "Takashi-kun, the thing is, I don't have a father or a mother. I live with one grandma."
The smile crept off the brown-eyed youth's face. The news of this was the crowning moment for him, who thought Tomoyuki was a well-off child. Takashi forgot himself in despair, comprehending that he had been unjustly extorting money from Tomoyuki, who had one parent in the family, all along.
"So that's how it is… Wait a minute! Where do you get such sums from — do you work somewhere uncovered from everyone?"
"Not at all. When my grandmother was around, I did not dare to spend the pocket money given to her by her good will. Since last fall she had gone to the hospital due to an unfortunate set of circumstances with her health and, having safely closed the payment for her treatment with the money she kept, we were free. She gives half of her monthly pension to me, for I live alone at the moment…"
"Paying taxes on light, water…"
"Yes, unfortunately because of taxes half the money is spent."
"Wait, do you even have money left over for food and walks? You're giving me a certain amount of money at the same time!"
"You're right about that…" Tomoyuki lowered his eyes, and with a sigh, raised them again. "I don't have much money left to live on, but that doesn't upset me — I don't eat much anyway!"
Tomoyuki struggled to console Takashi's defeated look. His brown eyes trembled with the realization that he was in the dark.
'I see,' he thought with a grieving inner voice. 'Muscle gain may also be affected by daily vitamin intake. Tomoyuki-kun was restricting himself… because of me?'
"Tomoyuki-kun, why didn't you tell me before?"
"Oh, I don't recall you being interested…"
'I was the one who killed it all the time. I was relegating him to a cloud of injustice and inequality. Abusing my opportunities means I myself accepted the nonsense I rubbed in his ears. No money is proof of friendship.'
***
The onset of early evening caught Jiahao's house off guard by a sudden visit from Takashi. Jiahao greeted him warmly, sat down on the living room couch and turned on the television, opening the can of fresh beer he had bought earlier.
"Things aren't looking good for you, apparently," his subdued low voice caught up with Takashi's ears, making the latter more despondent.
"Drinking beer at home?" Takashi finally spoke, flicking his eyes to the television where the soccer game was on. "You wouldn't allow such impudence in front of your parents."
"They're gone for a while. My stepmom has the night shift tonight, and my stepdad is on a business trip."
There was a silence, caused by Takashi's reluctance to continue the idle conversation.
"Listen," he trailed off sternly. "I've been talking to Tomoyuki-kun here…"
"Really? No wonder why you look like you're out of place. Did you do something to him again?"
"Why so rude? Jiahao, I don't always treat people with disdain, and you talk like I'm some kind of tyrant."
Jiahao didn't care much for the conversation, as was evident from his prostrate body on the couch and slumped shoulders.
"No," Takashi continued, "I was getting worried. Did you know that the only parents he has are his grandmother?"
"Hmm? Of course I knew. That dares you to be upset?"
"Ah, but how did you know?!"
"What do you mean? I knew about it a long time ago, why?"
"Impossible…" Takashi grasped his head, feeling sorry for his person. "The fact that I didn't try to find out destroys me from the inside out. I thought he had a full family."
Turning off the TV, Jiahao turns to him:
"I know about that when I first started training him at your request. Only once did our conversation start, after which I tried as little as possible to get into close quarters. I could see Tomoyuki getting sad — unfortunately, Takashi-kun, I'm not so insensitive as to shed a heavy weight from my thoughts."
"I see… And I've been rubbing it in about trust and equality without wanting to know anything about himself…"
"So you weren't previously interested in him?" Jiahao took a sip of cold beer. "That's strange, because you go with him almost every day.
Almost every day. Takashi saw Tomoyuki even more often than Jiahao and Makoto, getting him involved in his problems. Only when he realized this fact did his mind go numb — in the past six months of interaction with the teenager, he had never once inquired about his everyday life.
"Didn't have to talk, speech didn't come to such topics…"
Jiahao hummed nonchalantly, "Are you sure that's the only problem? Topics of conversation arise by themselves when you discuss everything with people. You, as the person responsible for Tomoyuki, should know more than anyone else."
"I'm sorry, but what do you mean?"
"Oh, you've started to be sorry? Has Tomoyuki-kun's presence in your life changed your outlook on life, melting your unshakable heart? Either way, it doesn't matter how much longer I have to chew my mind before you finally get it through your stupid head."
"Maybe so, but I still don't understand what you're getting at."
"No matter what you're talking to your conversation partner about, new topics emerge gradually as the conversation progresses. Their frequent one-on-one conversations are evidence of their finding a common language. Of course, it depends on the person's desires… and their character. You will probably never change this character, because you kept it closed since childhood. Never did your ego try to get to know the person until he revealed himself to you. It's always been like that with you, haven't you noticed that?"
"N-no."
"Tomoyuki, for the record, spends a lot of his free time with us and you in particular, considers you his sempai, and you haven't moved an eyebrow? If I were his number one sempai, I'd be happy. Happy to know that someone respects me not only as a friend, but also as a mentor.
Takashi, scrolling through all the memories spent with the teenager in his head, finally sorted out his thoughts. He kept pulling Tomoyuki down, taking his time, destroying his life.
"How did I not notice that?"
Taking another sip of his beer, Jiahao uttered: "Stop hovering in the clouds. You're already eighteen years old."
Then, as twilight shrouded the outskirts of the modern city, and the only light on the desolate road came from the lone lamppost, Takashi stood beneath it, thinking reproachfully of how misguided he had been. He used to find meaning in his ideals and principles, but all that had faded with the realization of how close adulthood had come to him. One more step, and he would have to forget his childhood pastimes and start taking life into his own hands.
'Is my road the right one?' casually he thought to himself. 'How ashamed people are… to be around people like me, who haven't caught the train to adulthood. I can still hear that whistle, it's coming toward me… Maybe I should get on it.'
The next day, while Tomoyuki was sitting on the couch watching TV, he received a call from Takashi. During the phone call, Takashi recounted everything that had gone on in their communication and apologized to him for taking so long to understand.
"No, don't worry, Takashi-kun, it's okay. It was because of your busyness that we couldn't find common interests; how could I be angry?"
'No…' Takashi thought sadly, without revealing the thoughts aloud. 'I've never been busy. All I do is waste my time in clubs and go with friends to all sorts of city dumps where there was room for me to be similar. I'm just idling around, wasting my time on meaningless activities.'
After that, there was talk of Tomoyuki's monthly payments and the meaning of those payments. After explaining that it was not a friendly monetary gift at all, he brought Tomoyuki to enlightenment, after which he understood the meaning of bribes.
Takashi found it difficult to talk about it, but he took the initiative to explain himself. He wondered how Tomoyuki hadn't guessed before that their tradition was bribery, but he couldn't condemn him, since in dealing with Tomoyuki, he himself was mired in lies and contradictions.
He used to assume that Tomoyuki understood it all, but was just hesitant to give it up because of Takashi's supremacy, but from now on he was convinced that the reason lay in his lack of understanding.
"Ah, so that's how it is. No, it's okay, you don't have to worry. I think I should get some rest, and then we'll talk back. Yeah, good luck to you, too."
Tomoyuki turned off his phone. He didn't move for a few seconds, immersed in the despair seething from the depths of his soul that he had been collecting in bits and pieces all this time.
Tomoyuki was completely devoid of thoughts and stopped believing in his own beliefs, deciding to just lie down on the couch and rethink everything around him. It even occurred to him that he had been betrayed again and lied to his face in the cruelest way.
'Who knows, maybe I deserve it.'