Chereads / Over the Bridges to Singing Waterfalls / Chapter 85 - Struggle Along

Chapter 85 - Struggle Along

Since then, two school years had passed without a trace, and Tomoyuki was in his third and final year. What luck for him when Akiko became a student in his reformed class — this fact encouraged the boy to place the pink-haired schoolgirl with him in order to treat her in the worst possible way. Why? Tomoyuki was convinced that Akiko was more deserving of such treatment than ever before, and that all her built environment was nothing but lies.

The next day, when Tomoyuki heard about a new third-year schoolboy from his class who had transferred to the school, and who had become popular with female students from the very first day, Tomoyuki became interested in the personality of this schoolboy. However, the ambivalent feelings he was caught up in what he thought were silly rumors.

On the third day, when the rumors about this guy having a relationship with a female classmate got into the school, Tomoyuki was surrounded by resentment among some of his female classmates. While trying to comfort them, at the same time he wondered about Ryou and was concerned that on the third day of school he had already decided to have a relationship with his classmate. With this, subjected to suspicion, he decided to see Ryou for real.

There were quite a few third graders in their school and they were divided into four groups, Remembering which group Ryou was in, the first thing Tomoyuki did was to sneak a peek at his classmates. He didn't pay much attention, just looking quietly at the front door. Realizing that Ryou was sitting in the last row with the brown-eyed shy girl, he remembered the girl's name. Tomoyuki speculated that Ryou had decided to go out with this particular classmate simply because of her proximity to his desk.

At the same time, Tomoyuki didn't know for sure who Yumiko was and whether they really had a love affair — on the outside Yumiko seemed to be an ordinary quiet girl with a lack of beauty.

For the next few days, he watched only their behavior during school breaks and came to the conclusion that their love affair was only a sham. The couple literally barely communicated about pressing topics.

Sitting on his desk during the big break, Yamashita pondered the outcome of his analysis to himself. Ryou Hayashi only turned out to be an apathetic guy with a fear of society, causing him to convince Yumiko Sato to set up their love affair.

"It may not be a fear of society," Tomoyuki suggested to himself, "but hate. He only looks down on people from above."

But for what reason Yumiko Sato decided to collude like this with the young man, barely knowing each other not just as friends but as people, Tomoyuki was left to speculate. Turning his subdued, gloomy gaze to Akiko as she emerged from the classroom, he came to an ambiguous conclusion:

"She was eager to acquire her popularity at school, thereby agreeing to a pretend relationship with Hayashi-san… Typical dependence on society, and how many duplicitous parasites modern society has. How much time will it take to purge the likes of them? Why can't our generation do without unnecessary drama?"

As he approached the office where Ryou and Yumiko were studying, he saw Akiko awkwardly addressing the newcomer, who didn't seem particularly interested in the conversation. Akiko tried diligently to strike up a relationship with him, but the realization of how distant they were spiritually drove the school idol to despair, which she tried to hide from her persona.

"People are all the same," Tomoyuki thought to himself as he arrived home. The private one-story house with three rooms, two of which were occupied, was the property of his grandmother, the only parent in the family. "They live by pretense alone, having no admiration for choosing between people."

Tomoyuki was in his room, and entering the balcony, gazed thoughtfully at the starry evening sky. His well-groomed short hair fluttered in the spring breeze, testifying to the importance of his last year of school.

"People have to be sincere, otherwise what's the point of their existence? Doing all your life what you don't like just because it gives you any money is reckless. It's even more reckless to join a society that is completely contrary to your standards."

Because he's been through it all. From slum to light, from light to darkness, and back again; it was the cycle of his dim life.

Walking back into the room, he noticed his nervous face flicker through the closet mirror, and turning his worried gaze, Tomoyuki found a trembling in his cheekbones and hands.

"I am sickened by all of you," he touched his skinny cheek and pressed his lips together, his teeth grinning through them. "It makes me sick with hate when I think of you vermin," and the faces of Yumiko, Akiko, and Ryou flashed in his eyes, making the teenager even angrier. This anger came from his disdain for people who were indifferent to the truth.

He met with Akiko from tomorrow and they got to know each other fully together. At that time, Tomoyuki had no way of knowing that Yumiko could have had a friendly relationship with a classmate from the parallel class who stood out for his tall stature, Glenn.

Three days had passed since the incident with the baby. Tomoyuki noticed a difference in Ryou's communication — he seemed a little more open, having nothing against talking about current topics. This made him furious, because Tomoyuki knew that if Ryou easily atoned for his mistakes, it would lead him to an easy end. The blue-eyed teenager did not want Ryou to forget his sins (in his case, arrogance).

The next time, after his chance encounter with Glenn in the restroom (when he failed to stage a successful blackmail), Tomoyuki followed him and the incoming Yumiko from the wall.

"Then call me to the club," Glenn told her in a gentle tone, addressing the subject of making a mugshot, "And you'll find out by practicing on me."

"G-Glenn-kun…" said the embarrassed girl slowly, and took a pause to get over her shyness in a moment. "I realize that I am a taciturn person and sometimes I am hard to talk to, but… Regardless, I am glad that I met people with whom I had the opportunity to have conversations… So, could you not m-maybe join the literary club?"

Tomoyuki was struck with doubt about the brown-eyed girl's identity. Her gentle tone of voice, her neatness, and her glorious character all led the young man to wonder if Yumiko was the only girl true to the truth among the rest of the rabble of people. Finally, a smile appeared on his face that warmed his heart.

He was aimed at both Akiko and the newcomer with the dark blue eyes. In his mind, these two men were to him a symbol of human stupidity and wretchedness. Hypocrisy, the desire to get rid of problems in a wretched way, arrogance — Tomoyuki had his sights set on nipping these parasites in the bud. They were useless to a thriving society. So the first thing he did was to take control of Akiko to be his extra eyes, promising her a relationship with Ryou in return.

The only problem for him was Glenn, who tried his best to change his mind with both words and deeds. Thus, Glenn handed him and Ryou an order from Daisuke, which they pledged to do together.

"You don't understand anything," Tomoyuki angrily said to himself, "Glenn-kun. You want to seem like a savior, a Judas…? Don't be ridiculous: we both know whose side the truth lies on. Do you really think you can bring this down on my plans? I won't allow it."

It didn't take long for a friendly atmosphere to form between the members of the circle. Tomoyuki was already confused about the passage of time, which made him not even worry about the date.

"Tomoyuki-chan," appealed Ryou, enthusiastically, "would you like to go to the upcoming screening of the new 'Hammer Man'?"

"Of course I don't mind! We can go together when it comes out."

"Then it's on!" Ryou rejoiced childishly.

Another time, when they were sitting at the round table in the club office, Yumiko called him over, "Yamashita-kun, how do you like the TV series I recommended to you yesterday?"

"Oh, I completely forgot to tell you. I watched 'Crystal Maiden' overnight, and it's an eerily interesting adaptation of the read!"

"I agree," she added with a smile.

Next time, Ryou informed him that he wanted to try the new food from the dining room today.

"You got me interested," he said, "making me want to try the new soba myself."

"I took my money with me, too: I think I'll do without the diner tonight."

"I don't feel much like going for a walk in the park today either," Yumiko added, addressing her preparation for the tests.

One of the following days, Yumiko broke the cap of her pen and asked the young man if he had an extra one. Tomoyuki took the pen out of his pencil case, and, holding it out, froze halfway through. His face began to reflect an attack of violent shock, and his body began to shake violently, causing the brown-eyed girl to ask if he was all right.

'What on earth is happening to me…?' thought Tomoyuki. 'Have I begun to behave differently? Did I forget my feelings… dreaming of a sincere friendship?'

His droopy look looked right at the closet mirror when he was already home. Sitting on the couch, an overcast heat hovered over his head.

'I forgot myself.'

"But you've seen others!" he began to talk to himself. Presumably his nerves gave out and he wanted to talk to at least one of the people, eventually settling on himself. "After you planted the rumors about Yumiko and Ryou breaking up, you expected a very different emotion from them."

"You somehow thought," Tomoyuki changed his intonation, turning to his left, "that you could manipulate them, but they didn't move a lip after the rumors. Everything stayed the same and you lost, but they didn't even suspect you, because you're… their frie-e-end!"

"But I can't leave things as they are, can I," he returned to his intonation, "otherwise why did I have to go so far?"

"All ea-a-a-sy! You forgot yourself in your lies, and so did those people you hated. You went through a lot together with the literary circle, and behind the lies you stopped perceiving the truth. In the end, you insinuated to yourself that you had become an indispensable friend to them!"

"It can't be…" he clutched his hands to his head. "There's no point in thinking, all I have to do is finish what I started… after which I can be free!"

"Freedom? From what do you wish to be free? From a desirable pastime with good friends? Maybe from friends from the literary club, too!"

In the teenager's mind, memories from the past that he'd gone through with the club members quickly flashed in his mind. Their happy faces, their shining presence over Tomoyuki's shoulders drove him to despair.

'I'll be playing the game myself.'

"We've been looking for real friends all this time," one of his dejected personalities, invented by Tomoyuki himself, manic for a thirst to let his emotions out into the light, spoke up. "Hey, do you hear that? We don't have to look for another society anymore: we've already found one. I can't wait to be enveloped in their embrace…"

Tomoyuki, having stopped making a scene, instantly grabbed the hysterical face with his hands, brimming with despair. His dilated eyes trembled, unable to discern the true light deep within.

"Who am I?"

Knocking on the closed door, his aged grandmother came into the room to check on her beloved grandson.

"Grandson, what happened? I heard some noises from the next room."

The teenager, coming to his senses, replied with a tired look that nothing was happening.

"I... am going to go make dinner soon, Grandma."

Smiling, the old lady added: "Just don't over-salt it."

"Of course, no more mistakes will be made."

Inwardly he was sad, though he looked at his grandmother with kindness. Mindful of her influence on his insatiable gray life, Tomoyuki also remembered how important it was to remain himself. No matter what, looking only forward, keeping his hands up.

"Grandma, what should I make for dinner tonight?"