"You will never be a worthy member of society!" shouted a man's voice. From the windows came the monotonous hum of heavy rain in gray weather. "Son, are you scared?"
Ryou's father, Akihiro Hayashi, had always wanted a boy to inherit his firm, which grew and expanded year by year. When the boy was born, his father was more excited than ever, realizing that his wish could come true.
Ryou and his sister lived in two houses. The minka, a wooden house with a canopy built in the traditional Japanese style, was not inherently considered the main house for the family – the main house was also in Kyoto, but in the middle of nowhere. On weekends, they would come to the second house to take a break from the tedious work of the family business. The father of two children was strict about all the misdeeds the children committed.
For every mistake Ryou listened to his father's voice, who tried his best to teach his son the norms of their family business. Because his parents did not give their children enough time, Ryou developed attention deficit disorder. His sister constantly helped him master everything his hand could reach, making them inseparable despite the ten-year age difference.
From the time Ryou was five years old, his father and mother's business was booming, and his father decided it was time to educate his son about the business. Taking a short break, the father began to teach his son discipline and formal competence. Every day he would call the adults with whom Ryou had to build a social-professional conversation and have him go with him to negotiate in the work sphere.
"Ryou, bow. Put your feet wrong, repeat. Low bow, Ryou!"
The child felt intense pressure from his father and the invited guests, looking at their stern, sullen faces, eager for only one thing: for him to run all his errands flawlessly. The negotiations, in which Ryou participated at his father's insistence, did not do his son any good in mastering professionalism. Of course, after all, he was six years old.
Building a conversation with a complete stranger, thirty or even forty years older than he was, entailed a child's fear of strangers and their heavy faces. Every day Ryou worried that his father wouldn't dare finish teaching him gentlemanliness and ethics for the next few years, but he couldn't help himself, because his father's word, according to his mother, was an immutable law.
As a result, an incident occurred: when his father called the man with whom Ryou was supposed to build communication into the room, the son felt a strong psychological pressure, feeling the stranger approach him and look at the boy with completely cold eyes, which foreshadowed a nervous breakdown. The son began unintelligible screaming.
After this, when his father took his son to a company meeting, Ryou would not speak to his colleagues, but when he was touched on the shoulder by an important man with whom his father was to negotiate, Ryou experienced a rush of terror and fell from his seat, exclaiming to be kept away from him.
Shocked by what they saw, the negotiators turned condemning faces toward Akihiro Hayashi, knowing full well that Ryou was the man's son. The negotiation ended in failure for his father's firm, and he lost the reputation he had built over the years as a man worthy of being called a role model. Akihiro was labeled a tyrant in the eyes of his comrades-in-arms, and some firms that heard the news refused to negotiate with him further. A series of failures hit the company, causing father and mother to completely shut down in order to regain their former glory.
From that day on, Ryou stopped going out and talking to other people, and the only ray of light in his lost consciousness was his sister. He was terrified of nervous breakdowns as soon as the child remembered the horrible days spent under his stern father's care. The need to attend school forced him to go out on his own.
His meager, hidden life within four walls continued until Ryou, at his thirteenth birthday, shot two twins who spoke to a loner for the first time. They were his first classmates, speaking to him at the beginning of his new year of school. As he got to know Isshin better, his life was turned upside down — his new friend became the second person in his life who understood Ryou's situation perfectly. Thanks to his support, Ryou was also able to find common ground with Aiko, a kind girl with a bright personality who took it upon herself to keep Isshin out of trouble.
According to Isshin, it is possible to find common ground with anyone when establishing a relationship: to do so, one must find common interests in communication and build a long-term bond. In this way, Isshin created an entire friendship team by getting his best friends to join the twins, and gained Ryou's trust. Oda and Maiko were the twins' childhood friends, and Iruma proved to be another of the young man's precious finds. They literally complemented each other, though each had a different kind of communication — nothing embarrassed the teenagers, which made Ryou able to talk freely.
Aiko, however, could sometimes notice how uncomfortable Ryou became when talking to unfamiliar faces. It seemed as if the young man wanted to run away and hide from unnecessary human eyes, and Aiko decided to ask the opinion of the others. Everyone answered in the same way: Ryou's incomprehensible anxiety was noticed by them too, but they all had clouded impressions.
Isshin, on the other hand, was hesitant to talk about it until last, staying behind the scenes. To see for herself what made Ryou have the traits of a prude, she suggested dating him. It was a surprise to her when she found out that the guy knew absolutely nothing about love. In her search for the truth, Aiko never imagined that she would eventually fall in love with Ryou, who previously seemed to her only a friend. She began to like everything about him, from the color of his eyes to his facial features and gait, which made Aiko think that she was immersed in his life up to her neck.
Their love began at the beginning of high school. After class, as the pair strolled through a sparsely populated neighborhood filled with local stalls, Ryou cornered the girl. The guy's shadow fell on Aiko, making her confused. Then the guy misunderstood, saying that he had learned what a love relationship was like, and how sincere love between a couple was revealed. He added, "If that's the case, why don't I feel any surge of concern as I snuggle up against your body?" and noticed how the girl stopped resisting.
"What do you feel?" Aiko asked, lowering her lashes.
"A feeling of pity. Tell me, please: is our relationship mutual? I don't understand why I don't feel a surge of love, but honestly… I want to feel it."
"You haven't been lied to," Aiko said. "We haven't progressed in one month. Wherever, we still look like normal friends. Ryou-kun, do you really know nothing about relationships?"
"Nothing."
The boy did not intend to let go of his hands from her palm and shoulder, unresponsive to her red-coated face. Finally, confident in her feelings, Aiko quietly suggested that he have sex with her so that Ryou would know his feelings for her. In the end, the confused guy still agreed, and, except for them, no one found out about what had happened.
***
The young man would often lounge with the twins on the clear lawn, with a full view of the open blue sky, which delighted Isshin with the beauty of its freedom. Always Ryou did not understand why his friend liked this view, and at the same time he kept repeating (quoting his sister's story) about the forest, where people's troubles did not reach. The boys often quarreled and fought, but their quarrels were by no means aggressive, with no aim of degrading dignity, but rather friendly. Isshin would not allow such a thing to happen, especially toward Ryou.
"I wonder," Ryou dreamed, "when will the time come when we grow up and go our separate ways…"
"You're certainly not going anywhere," Isshin frowned.
"Why is that?"
"There are two things a person has to do with growing up: make new relationships and socialize. If you are not capable of such things in the present, you can expect no future development."
And then Aiko threw out a remark for him to stop, but she was interrupted by the calm voice of the thick-haired guy:
"I understand perfectly. Talking to people isn't easy for me, but there's nothing I can do about it, because I've been abstracted from the world for thirteen goddamn years. Of course, it's my direct fault, too, since, I can't muster the will in my fist to have a relationship…"
"Dopey!" Isshin interrupted him. "It's not your fault! Understand, your parents' stupidity isn't your damn fault! How can you cram adult ideas into a boy's brain…"
Involved in his friend's trust, Ryou accepted and appropriated Isshin's assertions. To his extent, Isshin was also happy to accompany his best friend, but he realized that by doing so he was depriving Ryou of his individuality and his word of choice. There was nothing Isshin could do about this misfortune, knowing full well that it was his childhood experiences and prejudices that had led to this outcome in Ryou's inner state, building in his subconscious the desire to obey a foundation in the form of someone close to him to whom he could give his will.
***
Toward the end of March, before the start of his senior year, the family had an important conversation at the dinner table where it was announced that they were urgently moving to another city because of his parents' job.
"How so!" puzzled Ryou, hearing about this news for the first time. "Why didn't you tell me earlier that we were going to move to Osaka!"
"You didn't need to know beforehand," my father hummed, folding his arms.
"The decision was postponed until the last moment," Mother pitifully tried to clarify. "We deliberated and found that Osaka, as the city in which all the major buildings of most large firms are stacked, would be the best fit for the family business to thrive. Moving would be the best choice because of the benefits."
"You didn't even bother to ask my opinion! What about school and my friends?"
"You can finish school in Osaka," my father added, "and your friends won't go anywhere, and you can make new ones."
"That's not right," Ryou denied his parents' assertions. "Where's my choice!"
"Do we give up your choice," my father exclaimed, "if you, like your sister, have renounced your job at our firm? Use your head: instead of continuing the family business, you have chosen a different outcome."
"Let it be, but it's all wrong!"
"I don't care about your childish correctness! At your age, you shouldn't rely on adolescent maximalism – otherwise you'll ruin your life before you grow up!"
In desperation, Ryou rushed to his room, collapsing his chair. To the sound of broken dishes came the monotonous hum of heavy rain in gray weather from the windows. After hitting the wall in his room with all his might, the boy didn't know what he should have done next. His father's principled attitude infuriated him, so he ended up changing into a dark shirt and taking a dark umbrella with him to go outside and meet Isshin, whom Ryou considered a man capable of helping in a difficult situation and giving instructions on what to do next.
They met on the descent of the road in an unsociable neighborhood. Isshin was waiting for him under the roof of a small establishment to shelter him from the pouring rain. Ryou looked regretfully at his friend's droopy face as he explained the situation to him. Isshin could not utter a word.
"In a few days," Ryou added, holding an umbrella in the rain, "they're going to move the whole firm to Osaka… My mother told me about it."
"I see."
"I honestly don't want to tread further down the path of the family business. My gut tells me it's not my thing to deal with the paperwork and other things associated with my father and mother's work. I don't want to move to Osaka either…"
"I understand," Isshin finally interrupted the silence, and to sober up from his estranged state, he stood in the pouring rain. Wet to the shoulders, the boy's eyes disappeared behind his hair. The only thing Ryou could see on his face was trembling lips.
"Isshin-kun, can I become a worthy member of society…?"
Isshin still stood in the rain, not about to swing open his umbrella.
"Isshin-kun, this way you will catch a cold."
"Stop worrying about others. Take care of yourself, for you are not in a position now to think about trifles."
Silence.
"So you're moving out of your house?" Isshin complemented.
"Yes, but I have nowhere else to go. Kyoto's no longer a possibility for me."
"Go to Tokyo. Go to your sister's. Mother will understand you: she treats you leniently. If you say you want to go your own way, she'll understand."
"Mother will probably help, but Father…"
"Father won't be able to decide anything anymore once you get your act together. Leave tonight, making sure you let your mother know."
"Are you sure that's the only option?"
"Why?" Isshin continued. "Did you get your own choice? Are you finally starting to think with your own head?"
At that moment, Isshin had very different thoughts in his mind. For his friend's sake, he neither reprimanded him nor protected him at all, obeying his desire to leave Ryou in charge. Isshin thought that this outcome might have been the best for Ryou's growing up.
Ryou remained silent, taking Isshin's words for granted. That day, he didn't meet his other friends, slumped in his musings. After informing his mother, late that night he packed his bags and left for Tokyo, for Megumi.
"There's a deep, green forest at one point in the world," Ryou recalled to himself, hoping to calm his mental state. On the plane, he dreamed of how his sister might have changed in the few years since they had been separated. "It is said that people who entered the very forest soon came out with happy faces. This forest, they said, fulfilled all their longed-for wishes."
"We'll definitely go there…" his shoulders shook. "That's our promise."