Chapter 60 - Ignorance

The next day, the Cultural Festival continued at the same volume, but Ryou didn't show up. Excited about this, Akiko didn't dare question the brown-eyed girl, and when she involuntarily found herself at the door to Yumiko's classroom, meeting her eyes, she ran back to her friends. On this day, the assembly hall was in full swing preparing for a performance, and was closed to passersby and ordinary schoolchildren. Yumiko didn't socialize with any of the members of the literary club, and Akiko avoided her in every possible way, not knowing her own actions.

When she met Tomoyuki, who was looking for her all over the school, Akiko was dumbfounded: the guy's face seemed strikingly confused.

"Akiko-chan…" he uttered, restlessly, and grabbed her shoulders, "why isn't Yumiko-chan communicating with Ryou-kun…? Why isn't Ryou-kun in school today?"

"W-what…" the maiden shuddered casually, thinking that Tomoyuki was mad.

"You're the only one of us who knows how to handle love properly, so why don't you share your opinion with her…? Yumiko-chan is in a lot of pain right now!"

"Tomoyuki-kun," her dark red eyes darkened with fear and ignorance, "has a demon gotten into you?"

"Huh? This is no time for jokes!" continued Tomoyuki's vehement concern, with obviously trembling eyes. "They're in a state of discord, and if we don't bail them out... Will Ryou-kun and Yumiko-chan stop communicating! We can't let that happen, because our friendship will come to naught!"

"What on earth are you saying…"

***

Not daring to waste time until after the festival, Tomoyuki skipped the school concert and performances in the auditorium, and after making a call to Glenn, met him in the middle of the yellow sunset. The street was blue with a warm and gentle breeze, burdening the town with tranquility. The boys stood one-on-one by the empty sidewalk, taking a distance of five or even a little more meters from each other. While the stern Tomoyuki was dressed in his school uniform, the dark-eyed one stepped out in loose clothing.

"With each new day I bring myself to the thought that you are my worst enemy. Why do I get these feelings, Glenn-kun? Maybe my assumptions are wrong and nonsensical, but there's no way they could have come out of thin air."

"So we won't be able to have a quiet conversation today. Are you dissatisfied with something? Tomoyuki-kun, your feet should be in the auditorium right now, and your eyes should be looking at the actors on stage."

"You didn't show up for any of the days of the festival either. That doesn't matter, though. More important are my doubts about my own intentions. All the more so, I guess it's appropriate to connect you to the expiration of these circumstances. You played a part until I realized it in my thoughts. Where did the doubt come from?"

"That's how. You seem to be silenced by thoughts of my involvement in the personal lives of every member of the literary club, but why should I explain myself if you already know all the answers? Especially, I thought you, Tomoyuki-kun, would crack much earlier, but your promptness to believe in silly ideologies surprised me."

"Not another word about the stupidity of my views. Only I decide how to deal with my life! If I had wanted to, I could have dealt with all of you earlier, but something stopped me. There was a certain feeling that made me and my heart feel scared, if I thought about it for even a second…"

"No frills, you're insane," Glenn stiffened in disdain. "This is the first time I've ever seen a man whose principles have split in two. You are the opposite of yourself."

"Why? My world is surrounded by an abundance of hate, so why should I suffer? Foolishness unheard of, no one would do otherwise, would be in my place! Why can't I answer with the same coin?"

"You feel far more pain than we do — that's true, but I don't agree with your view of repaying the wretched. Your position on the distinction between good and evil is unfair to people."

"Why should I retract my words!" waved his hands, nervously, Tomoyuki. "You can't imagine the feelings I had before I reached my current position! Oh, and what you keep saying about duality!"

"There is no such thing as a split personality. One merely escapes responsibility in the hope of unfulfilled and false principles. He who imagines men to be two-faced is himself such-a coward unwilling to put up with his position."

"I repeat," lowered the depressed Tomoyuki's head, "it is not for you to decide my course of action. I have believed in the unfulfillable for too long. In my eagerness to steal the hopes of others, I was intent on appropriating them in my own way. This was what showed my false self-sufficiency, for until I met you, I shunned truly true feelings. I was weak, since I thought my ideologies were correct," the blue-eyed man clenched his fists. "That is why I will destroy anything that would confront me. Though my views are unaccustomedly false, I will continue to follow them blindly, as I have learned to do for a long time. No one will reproach me for my choices, for we live in a society where everything is rotten to the core. See my eyes, Glenn-kun? They speak of my pain and my confidence at the same time."

"Neither stingy love nor false feelings tell of the inner beauty of a person. Only purity in the soul, to which people's gaze is subject, is worthy to cause consternation about the fullness of the person in whom that trait is placed."

"By your words do you mean Yumiko-chan?" suggested Glenn.

"Yumiko's humility awakened my attentiveness. Then I thought I had found in her someone equal to me and my views. Though I had no detailed preference, and may seem pathetic to other people, Yumiko Sato was able to crack the barrier of my thoughts. Nevertheless, I will not adhere to a different exclamation, and will continue to stride where the call of my personal point of view guides me."

"Then disobey! That point of view will surely ruin you. Instead of intending to prove to people how thorny your life has been, you'd rather announce your worries to the boys. They'll help you!"

"No one will understand," Tomoyuki exclaimed, "how I have felt all along! Let me be the opposite character to everyone in their lives, rather than open up. I have, after all, chosen this decision myself!"

"But you made a promise."

"Damn what those childish promises mean!"

"You don't know what you're saying," Glenn assured his friend breathlessly. "Are you really going to believe that they'll have a much nicer life without you? You've got the boys all over you with your sincerity, which has been expressed in your self-proclaimed double standards. I'm sure the mere thought of becoming part of the family for our boys gave away in you the temptation to be present around them as a trusted friend!" Glenn's lips quivered, and he grabbed the elbow of his other hand. "You may do as you please, though you may bore all the detractors as you please! though you may bore them to the ground, but do not touch the merits of your friends whom you truly consider to be family. "

"Not another word. I don't want to hear any more of your nonsense! our conversation has hit an irreversible dead end, and I'm putting a fat stop to it."

Such a loud conversation ended with the lull of the boys, and Tomoyuki walked away. The young men dispersed, no longer wanting to continue to express their personal views on Tomoyuki's hidden desires. Glenn only wanted to help his friend, and deep down, the blue-eyed man understood that. Arrogant and lazy, Tomoyuki had to choose his future course of action: abandon his false ideologies according to Glenn, or finish his case to the end. From the blue-eyed man's sour look, it was becoming clearer and clearer that the boy doubted his behavior.

Ever since last night when Yumiko came home, she had locked herself in her room, wondering the whole time why she had done wrong to Ryou, and if there was a much better option. Her thoughts formed into a mess of judgement and fiction. Thinking back to Ryou, the image of Akiko kept popping into her head. Relying on her drowsiness, the girl hoped for the next morning, but nothing helped her wake up tomorrow either. Hearing her mother shouting in her direction, she went into the kitchen.

Recess rang and the third period ended. Yumiko, who was walking dejectedly down the corridor of the school, entered the literature club room, and noticed Akiko leaning against the closet. She was clearly expecting someone, Yumiko thought first, and the two girls' eyes crossed, causing the brown-eyed girl to have no right to hide. Akiko's eyes locked, and she gestured with her index finger to tell the girl to come closer.

"Why are you desperate?" asked Akiko as she approached. "Ryou-kun didn't come to school today either."

"Yes. It's no more than my fault."

"I saw you in the parade," she surprised Yumiko with her words. "You rejected his hand without a second thought. Subsequently, he and stopped answering the phone and coming to class. How are you going to make things right?"

"I don't know… I'm sorry."

"You're pulling one song. I don't need an apology for nothing. I expect you to get our routine back, that's all."

"Y-yes, I'm sorry…!"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" she sighed with bewilderment. "Why don't you answer why you rejected Ryou-kun? You must have a visceral reason for it."

"It all happened out of the blue. I n-never knew what else to do," Yumiko replied, folding her fingers in uncertainty. "Things didn't work out for the best, which I couldn't have predicted..."

"Uh-oh, don't tell me that my words in the summer, back then, played an important role? If that's the case, you're a real fool."

"I-I don't know. On the one hand, I really might have thought so, but I really can't quite figure out why I made my decision."

"Don't know what motivated you, or are you afraid of the truth?" skeptical of everything Akiko was, pondering Tomoyuki's words about the division of opinion and love advice. She thought to herself that the blue-eyed man was missing the point, and she didn't consider Yumiko to be a girl she wanted to share an opinion with at all. "Look, you're supposed to have an opinion."

"Ryou-kun abruptly took my hand like a thunderbolt out of the blue. How else was I supposed to react?"

"So be it. What did you say to him next?" she pondered to Yumiko.

"I... said I couldn't accept, and asked for forgiveness."

"But why? Are you not satisfied with Ryou-kun? Your act is so selfish and careless, by God, you could have been abandoned in the moment. You act like an angel in heaven, but you really aren't! What's that supposed to mean?"

"I really don't know what I had to say to him! Maybe I seemed careless, or stupid, or something else, but I couldn't think of anything more in a situation like that, for I simply hadn't been in that position before…!"

An unbearably short pause that made the girls' bones rattle and their minds blur. Akiko's duality of feeling subjected her to a collapse, from which she slowly whispered: "Tell me, do you have feelings for Ryou-kun?" and shocked the modest girl into silence.

"Why are you silent?" repeated Akiko's question.

"But you love Ryou, don't you!" opened up Yumiko's excited emotions. "How could I ever, knowing that this guy loves my friend!"

"Y-you're acting guilty now?!" gritted her teeth at Akiko, shouting at the schoolgirl. "Knowing that Ryou-kun is adorable to me, you took all the victory for yourself! The reward of this boy's love went to you. How many things I did not do to win him over to my side, to get him to stop looking only at you, and it all went to waste. All the things I've done have been for nothing, all because of you. You've ruined my life!"

"D-don't talk nonsense! You can still have it, for I am no longer a nuisance!"

"It's too late," Akiko grimaced as she ducked her face into the girl's, and slowly darted toward her, "it's already missed, there's no escape."

"You'll definitely make it," continued her friend's fearful encouragement, "just keep your hands up..."

Akiko's hands rose sharply and swung to Yumiko's face. Finding herself in what she thought was a hopeless position, Yumiko did not resist, and was ready to take another slap. Halfway through, the girl came to her senses, and Akiko's slender hands stopped. When Yumiko opened her eyes, she saw Akiko's cowardly look.

"H-hey," came a shaky high voice from Akiko's mouth, "why are you so afraid of being slapped...?"

Not daring to answer, Yumiko immediately ran out of the study, taking the wind from her waving long, darkish-brown hair with her.

A ringing heat hung over the study, and only Akiko was left, standing soullessly in one place. Gloomy clouds settled on her head, as if lamenting her actions.

"What did I...want to hit her?"

As she fled, Yumiko wondered what life was putting her through a painful ordeal for, if all she had ever wanted was to finish her studies. Tears stubbornly flowed from the schoolgirl's eyes as she remembered Glenn's words that it might have been her cause.

"Nobody really knows what's going to happen next," Ryou muttered to himself as he watched the bitter sun fall through the skyscrapers from a twenty-story-high panoramic window. "Alas, but nothing can be forever," he added as he closed his eyes and pressed his head against the window. "How long have I been here?"