"Once when I was young, a mob tried to hurt me," Saori declared, staring at the guys. "While defending myself against a knife, I accidentally killed the madman who attacked me."
"But why were you attacked?"
"People like that have their own standards of truth, and they despise those whose opinions are not the same as theirs," the man replied, following up with a sip of hot, black coffee. "I was locked up for a few years. Then I realized how naive I had been in my time, when I tried not to offend the world around me and to represent justice to the best of my ability. Turns out, the world around me was hurting people every moment."
"The way the bullies have acted is sheer injustice."
"People in particular attack their own, in packs, in cold blood. The innocent take all the blows, while the unjust live quietly and peacefully. But most of all I am astonished at the fools who think themselves just, there is self-interest in them."
"I don't understand why people attack people?" asked Ryou contemptuously. "What do they need it for, to comfort their crazy desires?"
Tomoyuki fell silent.
"It's pointless to re-educate people. Only time, and nothing else, can reeducate a man. With time, a person gains life experiences, no matter what those experiences may be. Through negative experiences, the structure of perception in a person's psyche changes, because they go through trials and errors. Such experiences can easily bring down a person's typical stance on life."
"People learn from mistakes..."
"When a person is caught up in a situation that has a positive outcome, he gets spiritual peace and an incentive to move on. The main difference between the two experiences, however, is that with a negative experience a person can turn to a bad road, and with a positive one a right road, in the typical sense of the word for people."
With his light-hearted words, Saori smashed to smithereens Tomoyuki's life position, at this time comforting himself from within with objections to every opinion expressed by the man. Tomoyuki was disgusted to listen to Saori, for his opinion was quite different. Who did he think he was, the young man thought, lowering his head in panic. Saori stealthily turned his attention to the trembling Tomoyuki.
Ryou, on the other hand, was in deep thought. Removing his gaze from the estranged young man, Saori continued.
"Have you tried to hurt the man so that the action is conscious?"
"I'm not sure I've tried, but..." added Ryou, stroking his chin, "I was bullied by boys in my early childhood. Maybe I thought to hurt them then, but the spirit didn't allow it at all," he added, and smiled warmly, as if remembering a joyful fragment from life. "In such moments, my sister always saved me, and I wondered at her strength. So I'm not sure I've ever tried to hurt a person."
Saori hummed thoughtfully.
"I wasn't trying to hurt..." replied Tomoyuki suppressedly, lowering his eyes.
"I see. So you two aren't sure. The important thing is that you accept yourselves as you are. Don't think of yourselves as fair people if you really aren't. You will only appear pathetic."
Tomoyuki inwardly wished Saori would shut up. With each statement the man made, he grew worse and worse. He could feel the pressure through Saori's dark and unreflective brown eyes.
"I'm not telling you what to do," Saori added, not taking his eyes off Tomoyuki. "The important thing is not to regret what you've done one day," he added, and after drinking a full sip of his coffee, he declared, "Damn, it's strong."
From Ryou's flustered face, the man seemed to think that the young man wanted to ask him something. Truly, Ryou could not break the man's silence.
"Ask," Saori declared, giving the word to Ryou.
"About the riddle… May I hear your opinion on Tomoyuki-kun's answer?"
"Of course, that's what I was leading you to," the man said, and looked back at Tomoyuki. "In your opinion, if a man ceases to feel anything, the forces of good and evil are of no use to him. In the end, he will be alien to human laws and man will become a beast that ruins the human race. Right?"
"Yes," blue-eyed said quietly. "Such personalities will have a negative effect on humans."
"You took the idea that negative experiences have a greater impact on humans. With a psyche like that, a person will do more bad things than he will notice the good things."
"Exactly… He will lose the importance of morality in society by learning how much the negative in the human world outweighs the positive. The negative outweighs the outgoing positive."
"Only, the problem is that the bad will also cease to be noticed, for there is no more good or bad for him."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Such a person's decisions are neither rational nor emotional. He ceases to have feelings from consequences and decisions. Eventually, such a person ceases to do anything, for he sees no point in carrying out any duty or action, even his own."
"Why?" misunderstood Tomoyuki. "He would be an enemy to the people, after all!"
"Why should he become an enemy to men if he has no interest in human relations? Such a man would simply shut down, for his point of view is collapsed by the facts presented from people committing atrocities. I don't like your approach of thought to our mystery."
Ryou looked worriedly at Tomoyuki. "Yamashita-kun…"
"Sorry, Hayashi-kun… I thought I could handle the answer…" said Tomoyuki, turning his head away.
"However, your answer was right for you," Saori complemented, tiredly. "I understand, such a man can begin to do bad things, for he no longer believes in the future of humanity. Most likely, you have a fear of such a situation, and you chose to name such an answer."
Ryou lowered his eyes in thought, for it was his turn. Saori turns his gaze to Ryou, and takes a light sip of coffee.
"Now, what is your answer?"
Ryou seemed dejected, but after a few seconds bluntly replied that he didn't know the answer yet. There was silence in the room and Saori put his chin to his palm.
"Every action has a certain consequence," the man replied. "Do you think that if I had seen absolutely nothing wrong in the past, I would still be a good person? Only the past, with which one can no longer come into contact, knows the exact answer," Saori glanced at his glass of coffee and felt the glass grow cold. "Do you consider yourself a good person?"
"It makes no difference," replied Tomoyuki instantly, "whether a person's actions are good or bad – if that person is confident that his decisions are right, he will not care about others' opinions about whether he is good or bad. He will only follow through."
"I see."
Ryou, on the other hand, was stumped. He didn't understand how the situation he faced with Tomoyuki had to be resolved, but he soon remembered Masumi's words about the young men finding common ground with Saori Kobayashi. Overwhelmed, Ryou took a deep breath.
"Kobayashi-san, tell us about your past! Maybe that's how we'll know the solution to your question."
Saori was slightly surprised by the young man's confidence, and looking at his serious face, the man realized that Ryou was indeed interested. Silently taking a sip, the man looked at the contents of the glass.
"It's cold."
***
Self-development is achieved as much by personal experience as by the experience of others.
At home, Ryou couldn't believe he didn't know how to answer the riddle. The young man didn't understand why the others bothered to find a quick answer, and he came to think that he was useless and stupid. He scoured the Internet for subjective opinions, but found no satisfactory answer. Opinions on various Web sites kept talking about reading books. Ryou had never read a work of fiction in his life, and he thought that this circumstance was the reason for his meager erudition.
As a result, the young man decided to ask his sister. Ryou couldn't spend his life hiding behind her expecting to be protected, and so he only wanted advice from her as an adult. Megumi was in the apartment at this time, looking out at the bitter, sunny sunset on the balcony with a carefree gaze. Megumi was smoking a mint-scented cigarette, and when her younger brother walked into the ventilated balcony, he didn't smell the disgusting smell of regular cigarettes in his opinion.
"Sister," Ryou called out, leaning against the window. "Do you like sunsets?
"Sunsets are romantic and soothing. I'd love to get married in that atmosphere."
"Not at all. I won't let you marry anyone but me, sister."
Sister was amused by Ryou's stern reply, and she placed the burning cigarette on the ashtray. Slowly turning to her younger brother, she looked at him with a warm smile.
"When my inner world is troubled," Megumi added, closing her eyes, "I look at the beauties of nature. The sunset, the sunrise, the night sky, the lights of Tokyo, they all give me hope to keep taking responsibility in my work."
"What are you trying so hard for, sister?" asked the younger brother, whose outlook on life differed slightly from his sister's. In response, Megumi pointed her finger sharply at her younger brother's face and closed one eye.
"Happy faces," Megumi said, and touched his gentle hands against the boy's cheeks and widened his smile. "Come on, smile. It makes me uncomfortable when my little brother looks frowny."
"Ha ha, get off!"
Soon the playfulness among the in-laws ended on a good note and the balcony was once again covered in silence. Ryou poked his head out the window in a desire to enjoy the warm breeze. His medium-length hair curled and twirled.
"I want to know the essence of life, sister."
"I see," Megumi replied meekly, looking at the sun falling from the horizon with her arms crossed. "What advice do you want to hear?"
"I need to… broaden my horizons."
"In this case, find yourself. The answer you seek lies within you."
Ryou gazed deeply into the distance.
"Be more confident, Ryou-kun."
"Yes… you're right," Ryou replied importantly, taking his sister's advice. His gaze seemed sterner, and his dark-bluish eyes betrayed his increased confidence. "I must decide for myself."
For this is my burden, the young man thought.