I, half-awake, stretching for any covers that I could reach of to enclose myself from the freezing coolness that shivers my physique, but I ended up completely awake as I touched nothing. My room is dark but the moon still brought a dramatic glow inside. I didn't realize that I fell asleep on the nook by my window. The cold and the darkness entail that I forgot to light up my fireplace or any lamps also.
How long was I asleep?
I turn my gaze outside but the scenery is still and beautiful.
"Era." An unknown voice of an old woman whispers but I see no one.
I try to sit up but I can't and I could feel some pressure and suffocation on my chest as I resist. I'm in a bad dream.
I try to scream for help but I hear emptiness of the sound. My body is getting pale and weak. The skin of my arms starts to become saggy and thin, then rough and dry, lines are more visible, and it looks fragile as if I am getting old in just a few seconds. So as my insides. I am sure that I am desperately catching for air but I hear no voice. I can't hear myself an when I could turn around, I saw an old woman kneeling on my side, holding hands like she was praying while looking at my body. She had a long, craggy black hair, extended nose, and all-white eyes that are not blinking. Her lips are whispering faint phrases to me. I know that it is a bad dream but it is becoming more dangerous. The vision and the feeling are getting all real. I need to wake up. I must be.
The sound of her hushes abruptly stops. When I turn on my side to look at her, she's gone. I close my eyes and urge my mind to move any fingers on my feet. I blink once only to apprehend the old woman is slowly moving on top of me. She is putting more burden on my frail body and her smile gets wider as I resist and strive for waking. My pain surely satisfies her as her hideous laughs are getting more audible and contagious. She is consuming me and is winning.
Wake up, Era. You couldn't let her.
I know Ina wouldn't hear me. I must help myself. I should put my mind at ease and convince it that this is not all real. A dream wouldn't hurt me.
A dream wouldn't hurt me.
A dream wouldn't hurt me.
I hear her creepy laughs slowly recede and when I open my eyes, her face tilts as if she was confused. Her smile is still unbothered as she puts more pressure on me. She knows that I am resisting. And is capable of fighting.
"What are you?" She shakenly asks while I lift my arms and reverse the control which then her smile is gone. Her skin is the same as mine–saggy, but mine has its own strength to even hold her out of my chest. I couldn't let her go or escape, so her silent whimpers turn into a furious one as if my grip pains her. I smile and fixed my eyes at her. I see no sign of feat but distress and hate. She is screaming. She is crying. Then, in a second, there is a glimpse of her youth–various visions that fill my sight.
Her, crying in front of her husband kissing other woman.
Her, staring at nowhere at their dining table with her two children chocking in front of their food.
Her, at a river bank, with two black bags at the front of her feet. And lastly, her, drunk, simultaneously laughing and weeping on a huge branch of a tree with a hanging rope.
I came back with the creepy image of her on top of me that keeps on fighting my grip to escape. Her terror screams continue which seem like a cry for her children now. She longs for her children that she killed. The memory punished her, it haunts her for eternity.
"It's not my fault!! It's not my fault!!"
I do not know which is more depressing to see. Her, denying it or her, wishing it not to be. She was hurt and still is.
"You will die with me!! You will die with me!!"
I ignore her crazy laugh once more as I completely regain everything. I feel my strength from inside and my skin goes back to normal. She is still negating my force, which I almost forget. Her deed made her dark soul and blessing it will make you one, as Professor Ton claimed.
"Go away." I say, almost a whisper, before she shrieked and vanished to my own hold.
I woke up on a sudden thud of my door and every light turns on as Ina runs to me.
"Nightmare." I utter.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." I say. It shocked me also that I am not out of breath as I woke up. I really am alright.
"Did you hear anything?" I ask Ina.
"I heard woman yelling, it's not her fault and that someone has to die with her. Then, I check on you. Your door was closed and though I am banging it you− "
"It was real then?"
Ina knows what I encountered and nods. I must tell her everything then.
"I think they will not leave me. They won't." I speak. "I always see dark shadow every weekend on the academy peeking on us. We came to a well− one known to be a portal, and we encountered there a spirit. Right before Tris' judgement night, that dark shadow came to confront me and now an old hag is after me…"
"Am I possessed, Ina?"
Ina's eyes are tearing up while disagreeing my assumption behind my question. She grabs and rubs lightly my hands. It's hot, beyond the degree of warm but I didn't pull back.
"Why is it this…?" I manage to say yet it's a failed kind of question.
"Because I lied, Era." Ina suddenly talks to answer my query and I look at her.
"I am not a non-potential… neither of us are."