"Suspicious..."
She squinted as she peered at me. Then, she shifted her gaze to Eimi.
"Certainly, it is suspicious," Ichikawa mumbled again, hand on her chin.
"What is it?" Ueno asked, having arrived from the cafeteria. "Oh, here's your bun, missy," she said and put a paper bag on Ichikawa's desk.
"Yey!"
During our break, I asked Ichikawa about Eimi's behavior. Although Eimi was always with me, I never had a grasp of what was going on in her mind so I asked Ichikawa about it since she exchanged words with Eimi a lot more than myself. Though, I doubted most of them were *that* serious.
The morning was the same as yesterday. Eimi ran away again as soon as she saw me, never mind letting me greet her first. At the club meeting yesterday, I could feel a gaze the whole time. To be honest, it was quite uncomfortable. I couldn't enjoy my book as much as I wanted because I was busy trying to catch that perpetrator's gaze with mine. Yet, failed.
At some point, I felt like I was just playing around hence I decided to confront her. To no one's surprise, she dashed out of the club room, cradling her unzipped book bag. I wondered if its contents would spill but that was not the time to think about it.
I watched Ichikawa break a part of her bun. As she popped it into her mouth, I could see the sugar falling to her skirt and some clinging to her fingers. *Not sure why she eats like that.*
Regardless, she looked so blissful when she started munching so I rolled my eyes. Coincidentally, I caught Eimi staring at me again.
I raised my hand instinctively and slightly waved at her. She then too waved back at me, though with a start, so I thought she might be *okay* now but her shoulder eventually shrank, her arm hastily retreated, and turned her gaze away from me.
When I turned to approach her, she pushed herself from her seat and tend to escape again. Hence I promptly caught up to her. When she was about to leave the room, I managed to grab her wrist which made her jolt. *Ummm, are you okay, Eimi?*
She turned around sheepishly, face looking downward. Fortunately, she seemed to have no intention of running away again. I suppose confronting her like this was enough to pin her into place.
"So, what's going on, Miss Eimi? " I asked amiably, making sure I wouldn't sound interrogating her.
"Umm... It's nothing..."
"Well, it will trouble me if you suddenly run away whenever I try to talk to you."
Looking at Eimi this close, I noticed the difference between our heights. *So she's taller than me, huh...though not to the point that it was noticeable,* I thought as I tried to gauge our height with my hand. Senior Sasaki was much shorter compared to the other upperclassmen so I quickly noticed it.
"Oum, Sakura...my hand."
Eimi's mumble made me realize that I was still grasping her hand thus I quickly released her and took a step back.
"Did I hurt you? Sorry. "
"Ah no... It's just...you're too close."
"Oh, is that it?"
Perplexed, I tilted my head and pondered about it. But then again, I realized I would hate it too if someone violated my personal space.
"So, did I do something wrong?" I asked, recalling if I had offended her unconsciously. But then again, knowing how my short-term memory worked, I gave up and just wait for her to answer.
Since it was afternoon break, I caught a glimpse of the students walking through the hallway with their lunchboxes in their hands. I suppose they were about to head to their classroom given what time it was now. Along with their noises, the sunlight from the hall windows wasn't felt pleasant too. *It seems like summer is on its way to meet us again,* I thought as I blankly stared outside.
In summer, we always went to my grandparent's house for a vacation. Staying in that provincial area didn't bother me too much since they had an office room the same as my father's where they kept all of their books.
I remembered doing nothing there except confining myself in that room along with the books and roaming around the nearby grass field. But since the summer heat was too much for my younger self, I only did that when my sister invited me. I found it unnecessary for my future too, so I preferred reading books under my grandparent's ceiling fan.
Anyway...
I shook my head when I realized my mind was wandering again. I wondered why it always happened.
Finally, she answered, "It's nothing. I promised," in a low voice.
"Are you sure?"
Meekly, she nodded.
"Miss Fujihara."
I turned around as I heard Ueno's voice then immediately turned baffled as I saw her pulling Ichikawa. Ichikawa, on the other hand, struggled to release herself from Ueno.
"Just let me..." Ichikawa struggled as she tried to push herself in my direction.
"I already told you, didn't I? You can't just listen to..." protested Ueno.
*Quite a situation we have here,* I thought as I watched their little gag again.
When I turned my gaze back to Eimi, the girl was nowhere to be found. The only thing left there was the noise from the hallway and the sunlight streaming from the window.
Instead of heading to the club room after class, I decided to skip club activities, not that we actually had something to do except read books. And of course, I didn't do it because I just wanted to. If anything, I wanted to spend my time reading books. Eimi was still acting weird hence it led me to give her some space for today. In the least, that solution was the best I knew. After I got permission from Senior Sasaki, I started my way home.
The peeking summer sunlight seemed to cool down but it left its heat in the atmosphere. Silently, I debated whether it was fortunate or not. Either way, I wasn't inclined to its sensation. It made my cloth feel unpleasant when they touched my skin. Thus, I decided to stop by the convenience store to buy something that would replenish myself. While I was there, I visited the bookstore next to it.
As I opened the door, the usual scent of wood and paper greeted me as though it was waiting for me to come back. Since I could just borrow any book from our school library, I visited this bookstore lesser after I got to high school. I remembered visiting it every day when I was in middle school, that just reminded me of how isolated of a person I was.
*Would something change in my life if I wasn't that selfish when I was young?* Silently, I pondered. Perhaps there was, and perhaps there wasn't. Nonetheless, there was no point to regret now, that was what I knew, for sure. Thinking about the past would just make me cling to its memory, that was why I couldn't move on and became a coward.
I knew everything would change whether it was for good or not. Yet, I still wanted to stay everything as it was. I didn't want anything that would make me forget who I was. I suppose I was just afraid of what the future would come.
I traced my finger on the spine of the books that were lined up on the counter and freed those thoughts from my head. Distracting my mind by searching in their recommended section, I heard a bell chime from the back. Sure enough, it was the girl who always tended to me when I was making my purchases.
"Oh, long time no see!" she greeted, waving her hand at me.
*I knew that wasn't how you were supposed to greet your customers,* I thought. Regardless, I greeted her back.
"Good day. Do you have something new today?" I asked, then peered at the titles on the counter.
She went towards me and stood beside me, also peering at the books.
"Something new, huh... We always have something new but I know you aren't into fiction, so I only have a few books for you." She then started searching through the books.
Silently, I waited behind her when she opened up a conversation.
"You're not with your sister today?" She stretched her neck and peered around. "I wonder what is that girl doing."
I remembered her talking with my sister casually. Apparently, the two of them were classmates from middle school. Though, I wasn't sure if they had a good relationship because whenever the two of them met, they were scowling at each other.
"Yeah, she's busy with her university stuff this recently," I answered.
"University stuff, huh," she mumbled as though she was thinking about it. "Well, anyway." Then, she ultimately brushed it off.
"I'm surprised you still have time for part-time work." I thought back to how my big sister often came home late. She always went straight to bed after she greeted me, peeking behind the door of my room.
"Part-time? Oh, I'm a regular now," she said casually.
*Regular?* I recoiled as I realized what she just said.
"Then how about your study?"
"I didn't attend university for now. Oh, here it is," she exclaimed, then pulled a book out of the lined ones.
Ever since I was young, I always thought that learning things could help you in the future. You couldn't go anywhere without it. Thus when I heard that someone gave up on their study, I was taken aback.
I couldn't imagine myself not reading books for a day, much less not attending school. *Why was she so okay about it?* I pondered as I saw no hint of anxiousness on her face. While I was so worried about what would be my future become, she on the hand, seemed not to be concerned about it. *Am I the only one who feels restless about my future?* The more I thought about it, the more muddled my mind became.
"School is not just for studying, you know." Buried under my thoughts, I heard her mumble. "But a place to...what was it again?" She furrowed her brows and looked upward, searching for words, and continued, "Find what you want in the future."
I looked at her, baffled at what she'd just said.
"Oh, I once read it somewhere. Though, I couldn't remember what book it is. I will tell you once I found it."
"Why?"
"Why...you ask..." She then again, furrowed her brows, but this time she was looking downward. A beat later, she looked back at me. "You seem to want to know why I am not attending school. Well just like I said, it was not only a place to study but to find what I want and would make me happy."
*And I already found what I wanted and that thing wasn't in school,* I could hear her silent implication behind the smile she had just shown me.
Curious at what it was, I didn't press it any further and silently pondered about the phrase she had just said to me.
After completing my purchase and about to leave the store, I remembered something.
"Oum, do you have some books to help me figure out what the other people thinking? "
"...What are the other people thinking? Some sort of mind-reading techniques or stuff?"
When I heard her repeat it, I realized how silly it sounded. Embarrassed, I answered, "....Kind of. If it will help me to know what that person is thinking..." *So I would finally know why Eimi ignored me.*
She paused. A bit later a smile appeared on her face.
"I see. You're already in that stage, huh," she muttered but I pay it no mind since I had no idea what she was talking about. "Then instead of mind reading stuff, I have something good for you."
She then immediately disappeared between the bookshelves and went back with a book in her hand. Its cover was white colored and I could see some petals of cherry blossom printed on it.
When I tried to read the title, it made me baffled why she had picked this book for me. This was the type of book that my sister liked to read and I wasn't a fan of it. But since, however, she was the one who chose this book, I couldn't just reject her.
Thinking about it, if she didn't pick that book for me, perhaps my relationship with Eimi wouldn't take a step upward to where we were now.