Li Caiyi stared at her father with an inexplicable emotion swirling inside her eyes.
Li Jirong was their father, and he has always been a patriarchal man within the family. He saw Li Junjie as the only one worthy of meaningful conversation with him. Even though he doted and cared for Li Chunhua to some extent, it still couldn't be compared to his feelings for his son.
Li Jirong had always put Li Caiyi down whenever he praised Li Chunhua or Li Junjie. Li Caiyi had always tried her best in her studies. She spent a sleepless night just to learn about one complicated physics or math formula which Li Chunhua could perfectly master in an hour. It was pathetic, but Li Caiyi had never been interested in science. She could only conclude that her preference revealed itself in her grades.
Even if she did pretty badly with math and science subjects in general, she was still decent in other subjects. However, no matter how excellent her Chinese literature and social science score was, Li Jirong wouldn't bat an eye on it. His father had never considered those subjects as something challenging to learn, and thus, he looked down on them.
Li family was a family of doctors. Throughout generations, a doctor has always been the family's main occupation. The mindset that becoming a doctor meant honoring the ancestor had rooted deep in the Li family. What started as admiration and humble pride for this occupation, developed into a twisted obsession.
Growing up in such a family, Li Jirong believed that anything unrelated to this occupation was less significant or unworthy. That was why he scorned Li Caiyi, who was pretty good with anything except the exact things he was hoping for her to excel.
Li Junjie excelled in many subjects, and so did Li Chunhua. Only Li Caiyi was different.
It wasn't like Li Caiyi didn't understand his reason, but it never really occurred to her how fatal his biased treatment was until she was diagnosed with clinical depression in her later life.
Even when her father chastised her for being lazy and unworthy of Li family name, Li Caiyi had always thought that her father said that for her own good.
Li Jirong was very strict with the three of them, pushing each one of us to be an excellent doctor in the future. He was harsher to her because she was too slow compared to her siblings, so it was inevitable. It was all her fault for not being able to answer her father's expectations.
After experiencing a whole life and death once, Li Caiyi realized how foolish and naïve her thought was. Her father wasn't harsh towards her out of his love for her, but he simply disliked her.
Of course, part of it was because she wasn't brilliant enough, but just that reason alone wouldn't be enough to make a father not visit his daughter's room even once, despite knowing she was sick. Li Jirong is a doctor and a father, but both reasons weren't enough for him to come to check on Li Caiyi in the past few days when she was sick.
She studied so hard in her past life just to earn her father's acknowledgment, only to be crushed by his rejection. In the end, she gave up because no effort could measure up to Li Chunhua's genius. Even if her grades improved a bit, Li Jirong would only scoff at it and tell her it still wasn't good enough.
It was a losing game from the beginning.
If she didn't remember wrongly, it should be around this time when that happened….
"Xiaoyi! Are you even listening to me? Not only do you disregard your study, but now you also learn how to disregard your father? Good!" Li Jirong raised his voice, causing Su Suyin to flinch. She looked at her husband and daughter alternately with a flustered expression, but in the end, she said nothing and kept her gaze downward.
Li Caiyi didn't miss Su Suyin's little gesture, and the light in her eyes became dimmer. If it wasn't her but Li Chunhua in her place, Su Suyin would go to any length to defend her from her husband. It seems Li Caiyi wasn't even worthy of her biological mother's support and consolation at this point.
Under her father's harsh and cold gaze, Li Caiyi calmly wiped the corner of her mouth and spoke her first words throughout the breakfast. "I apologize."
How could Li Jirong missed the coldness and sense of detachment in her daughter's voice? He felt her daughter was mocking him by deliberately showing a haughty attitude, so he grew furious. "You insensible child! That's why you are always inferior to Xiaohua in anything! Not only are you useless, but you also don't know how to say sweet and convincing words. Good for nothing!"
Screech!
A screeching sound of a chair being pushed back reverberated in the room. Everyone stopped speaking altogether and stared at the source of the sound.
Li Junjie, who silently read his book throughout the commotion until now, had stood up with a grim face.
Su Suyin was the first to recover; thus, she asked him, "What's wrong, Ah Jie?"
"Nothing. I can't even read a book in peace like this. I have finished my breakfast, so I'll leave first."
Without waiting for anyone's acknowledgment, he left with his book and bag in hand. Li Chunhua hurriedly took the last sip of her soup and picked up her bag as well. "Brother Jie, wait for me!"
She gave both Li Jirong and Su Suyin a peck on the cheek before she hastily walked out of the house.
Li Caiyi wasn't in a hurry at all. There was still a lot of time before school started, so she took a box lunch from the cupboard in the kitchen and packed some bread smeared with strawberry jam.
"Xiaoyi, are you going to bring lunch today?" Su Suyin asked in puzzlement. She usually packed some lunch for her children, but she stopped doing that unless they asked for it specifically since their middle school days.
Li Caiyi simply nodded her head and bade her farewell to her parents. She wasn't in the mood to spend time with her parents, so she quickly escaped after finishing her business. Before she left the room, she could hear Li Jirong's scoff. "Useless daughter."
Li Caiyi didn't stop and walked to the school alone.