"Yeah, but you know that's not good enough."
He and Grace had been careful to not appear in front of John as much as they could. Why? Because they felt insecure.
John was currently the only person who had been willing to take them in. If he didn't feel like keeping them anymore, they might be sent to an orphanage. No, they will definitely be sent to an orphanage. After that, if their luck was good, they might get adopted by a nice couple.
But, there was a greater chance that the two of them might separate. If neither got adopted, it was fine, but if only one got adopted, or if they got adopted by different couples, they felt as if they couldn't stand it.
They had lost their parents already. All they had left was each other. The two had to stick together, had to talk to each other, and had to lessen each others' pain. If they stopped doing that, if they somehow got separated… it would be the same as taking away the only thing that kept them going.
"We helped out today. If we keep doing that…"
"There is still no guarantee that h-he w-won't… that he won't th-throw us out," Evan's voice faltered at the end, and he looked as if he'd cry. Grace walked over to him and hugged him, "You know that won't happen."
Grace and Evan had always been good readers. Whether it was reading the atmosphere, reading a book, or reading people like a book, they were good at all of them. Although John's expression was stoic, his eyes were very expressive. The two could guess what he was thinking from the emotions in his eyes.
They could tell that John didn't feel repulsed by them, didn't seem to think of them as a bother, and even felt sympathetic towards them. Today, he even seemed, they dare say, a bit fond of them.
"He seems impulsive," Evan added, although his tone was very weak. "Yes," Grace concurred.
"He probably impulsively agreed to take us in."
"Yes."
"Doesn't that mean he could impulsively throw us out?"
The two had had a similar conversation the first time they had come here.
'He seems a bit cold.'
'Yes.'
'An introverted kind of guy that likes to keep to himself.'
'Yes.'
'He won't like noisy or bothersome kids.'
'Hmm. That's why we should just stay inside our room quietly.'
'Yes, let's make it so that we don't bother him. The less we go out, the better.'
This was the result of their discussion two weeks ago.
The less they come out of their room, the less they'll remind John of their presence. And if John isn't reminded of them much, if he feels as if his daily routine hasn't changed much, he wouldn't mind their presence much, and will slowly come to accept them. He would not throw them out if they kept quiet.
That had been the plan, but they hadn't exactly done things accordingly today. Although they did try to stay reserved, John guessed what they wanted and indulged them by buying every single one of them.
'It should be okay,' Grace thought. They hadn't spent much time with John at first. They hadn't read more into him. They had only seen his stoic expression and had thought, 'Yes, we should stick to the plan.'
But today, they had seen another side of him. A side that was unexpectedly keen, very attentive and, even a bit childish. Yes, childish.
At the store when he ordered stuff for them saying he was buying it for himself. The smug expression on his face when he had guessed their food preferences correctly at the restaurant. That time when he said he liked amusement parks the best, the flustered look on his face when he had been exposed, and how he stubbornly, childishly, still insisted he liked amusement parks.
Recalling them made Grace smile. She felt as if she'd be blind if she still believed he'd throw them away.
'There's no way he could do that,' she thought. She was about to voice her thoughts when the door flung open.
Outside was a very flustered-looking John. The expression on his face was something they hadn't seen in the two weeks the kids had spent with him.
'Uh-oh.'
It was bad. She could tell, because John's stoic facade of an expression had broken down. The man's lips were drawn in a straight line, his brows were furrowed, and his eyes looked…pained.
Just when Grace thought she should comfort him somehow, he got down on his knees and stroked their heads.
"It's my fault. I really am quite a terrible guardian, aren't I?" He mumbled to himself, but the two kids could hear him quite clearly.
'No you're not,' Grace thought as her expression changed into a frown. Evan also seemed to agree with her, as his brows also furrowed together into a scowl.
They didn't like the self-deprecating smile on his face. And when that expression changed into an even more miserable one, upon seeing the frowns on their faces, the two finally couldn't stand it anymore. He had probably misunderstood that they weren't fond of him. Just when they were about to do something about it, John pulled the two into a hug.
"I-"
"You've been quite a wonderful guardian," said Grace. "Yes, really," Evan followed.
"If that were the case, you two wouldn't ever worry about something like this. This is something kids should never have to worry about," John said as he pulled back and went over to sit on a chair. He gestured to the two kids to sit down as well.
When they were all seated, he cleared his throat and said, "Although I am lacking in various ways, I am still your guardian, the legal equivalent of a parent. Of course that doesn't mean I could replace your parents, but what I want to say is, please think of me as a second father."
'For some reason, you feel more like a somewhat reliable older brother,' Grace though.
"I won't ever throw you both out, even if you were noisy little troublemakers," he said with a faint smile, although his eyes still showed guilt and self-blame.
Yes, he felt guilty for not finding out earlier what the two kids were worried about. He was their guardian. He was supposed to be like a parent to them, but he didn't notice their insecurities. He didn't notice how worried the two kids had been over something he could've, no, he definitely should have, cleared earlier.
"Well, we're going to have a fun day tomorrow, so don't stay up reading your books late," he said as he got up. Before leaving, he smiled at the two children and said, "Good night."
""Good night.""
The two children said at the same time. When the door closed, the two looked at each other.
"He seemed a little depressed when he left," said Evan. "Yeah," Grace nodded.
"What do we do?"
"Hmm."
The two brainstormed together.
"Since he doesn't like amusement parks, should we change our itinerary to a library instead? He seems to be the kind of person who would enjoy quiet places," Evan suggested. This time, they were speaking in hushed voices, so that John wouldn't accidentally listen to what they were saying.
"He'd guess we did it because of him. He doesn't like how wary we've been of him."
"Yeah… does that mean we should indulge ourselves to our hearts' content?"
Grace nodded her head, then ruffled Evan's hair. "But don't go overboard," she said.
"I know," Evan said with a chuckle.
The two didn't say anything about the earlier topic, about behaving too well. They had seen the look on John's face when he had overheard them.
'There's no way he's ever going to throw us out,' Evan thought with a smile, 'I wonder if I should test his lim-'
"Ouch. That hurt!"
Grace had flicked a finger on his head.
"As I said before, don't go overboard," she said. "I know," Evan answered. Although he made it sound as if he had agreed, he actually hadn't, and Grace could see that.
She heaved a sigh and said, "You shouldn't take undue advantage of him."
"I know," said Evan. After a moment, he added, "I won't."
The next day.
"I thought you said you won't go overboard," Grace said with a sigh.
"I didn't," Evan explained, "It was an accident!"
"Really?" Grace gave him the side-eye.
"Most of it."
Under Grace's strict stare, he hesitantly modified his earlier statement, "a part of it."
Grace heaved another sigh and was about to do something about the mess in front of them when they heard someone walk to where they were.
'Uh-oh.'
That was all the two kids thought when John appeared in front of them.
"You both are up rather early toda- Goodness!"