When he'd run into the alleyway, Tang Yuqin had had good intentions.
Coming from an impoverished peasant family that lived in a farming region, the only reason why he'd been able to attend a small local school was that his father, uncles, and older brothers had slogged their lives away to give him this opportunity.
As the youngest but most gifted boy in the family, Tang Yuqin hadn't disappointed them either. For ten long years, he'd studied hard into the night every evening, relying only on the moon as a light source until his eyesight had begun to suffer. But it had paid off and he'd made his family proud by passing the first two tiers of the imperial examinations at the local and provincial levels. And at the tender age of 23 too. There were men in their 70s who hadn't managed to achieve this!
The final exam, which was the intimidating court exam, was to be held the following spring. But Tang Yuqin's old mentor, who still had one or two connections in the capital, had sent him over early to familiarise himself with the place and to network.
Tang Yuqin had tried his best to blend in. Truly. But it was rare for the children of poor men to make it this far, and all the other scholars he'd met at the school here were from privileged backgrounds. He could feel that they looked down on him. They turned their noses up at the sewn patches on his old robes that he tried to conceal and liked to joke about smelling cow manure every time they were in his company.
He didn't tell his family this in the letters he'd sent home, but he was lonely.
Which was why, when he'd seen that beautiful young man in peasant garb answering riddles with an intelligent finesse that even his scholarly peers couldn't best, he'd thought to himself, [I'd like to become friends with him].
After the young man had departed with his company, Tang Yuqin had fobbed his companions off with a flimsy excuse and chased after their backs. It had been difficult to locate them again, because of all the people milling in every direction of the festival. And it'd been almost half a shichen later before he saw the young man leaning against a maple tree.
Everyone else had been distracted by the parade's commencement. But not Tang Yuqin. He'd tried rushing over, only to see a large, greasy-looking man in opulent clothes seize the young man by the wrist and drag him into the alleyway behind.
Righteous indignation had burst in his chest. And that was why he'd run into the alleyway without thinking, keen to save the person he was so sure could become his bosom friend.
The struggle to push past the crowd had left him winded, but he braced himself against his knees and managed to wheeze out a threatening, "You there! I—I saw you accosting that young man, don't you dare lay a finger on him!"
Huh? He didn't get a response. That was odd. Wouldn't someone who'd been interrupted in that sort of indecent act have something to say about it?
He looked up and promptly regretted doing so.
Tang Yuqin had dedicated his entire childhood to the Four Books and Five Classics, which meant that he had little time to spare for the reading of novels. But he'd come across one or two collections of mythology, describing evil fox spirits that seduced innocent men with their beauty to eating their hearts.
This was what the sight in front of him looked like.
Blood slowly seeped into the gravel beneath the body. The willowy figure standing over it must have noticed the racket Tang Yuqin had made. He looked towards Tang Yuqin, who found himself rooted to the spot.
Eyes that had been so gentle under lantern light earlier on were now cold as a winter solstice night. A polite smile spread across his face when he caught Tang Yuqin's gaze, but it was mirthless. His hair had come loose from its original half top-knot, unravelling like a waterfall around him.
He was otherworldly.
"I must remember to take this back," the young man remarked, in a tone so light that it sounded like he was chatting about the weather. He reached down with slender fingers and plucked the knife out of his victim's chest. It slid out with a quiet squelch that made Tang Yuqin nauseous.
"You—you—" he couldn't bring himself to say 'murderer'. He was still reeling from the shock of discovering that the brilliant mind he'd admired belonged to a criminal.
"Me," the young man agreed. "But unless I'm wrong and there are futuristic anachronisms in this world, DNA profiling hasn't been invented yet. So if you keep quiet and I keep quiet, who's going to find out?"
Tang Yuqin's head spun. He couldn't understand half of what the man was saying. Future? Di En Ei? What was he blabbering on about? Was he mad?
"You shouldn't have killed him," Tang Yuqin stammered. "That's against the law, you'll be punished—"
"I killed a monster who tried to r**e me," the young man replied. "Is that so wrong? Weren't you trying to play hero too?" He wiped the edge of the knife on the man's robes before tucking it back into his shoe. Checking himself once over for any suspicious stains and finding none, he started picking up the lanterns strewn all over the floor.
"That's not the same," Tang Yuqin insisted. "I wouldn't have killed him, I would have—"
"Have what? Reasoned with him? As he fucked me into the wall?"
A flush bloomed across Tang Yuqin's face at that crude phrasing. "How improper!" As a farmer's son, he should be used to such degenerate commentary from his peers, but education had loaned him propriety while robbing him of the thickness of his skin. "I would have called a constable to take him to trial!"
He expected the young man to approve of that, or to at least be contrite for not considering seeking protection from the institutions of justice, but the young man just snorted. How he managed to make such a rude sound elegant, Tang Yuqin didn't know. Perhaps he truly was a demon.
"Do you know his identity?" the young man asked, jabbing his thumb at the corpse.
"N-no?"
"He's Liang Ming, the fifth legitimate grandson of the old Liang Family. In other words, he's a nobleman."
Tang Yuqin's blood ran cold. He'd just witnessed the murder of an aristocrat?
The young man didn't seem to notice the despair that had overcome Tang Yuqin. Or if he had, he didn't care. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind a dainty white ear and strolled over to where Tang Yuqin stood at the entrance of the alleyway.
Tang Yuqin backed away from him like he was the King of Hell.
The young man raised an eyebrow. "You're scared of me?" he asked, shaking his head with a little laugh. "You should be scared of them." He pointed at the corpse again. "You're new to the capital, aren't you? I can tell. You still have that idealistic streak in you. A word of advice, Xiongdi. Don't try reporting a noble to the constables. You'll end up being the one they arrest instead."
He reached out to pat Tang Yuqin on the shoulder. Tang Yuqin flinched but didn't dare to back away. He didn't understand how this young man, who was slighter than him, could be so terrifying.
"And don't try reporting me either." The young man's eyes crinkled into a happy smile but there was something dangerous in their depths, a stark contrast to how wide and innocent they looked. "You've seen the effect my face has, Xiongdi. Do you think the constables will believe that a tiny creature like me murdered that hulking oaf? Or do you think they'll believe that a strapping young lad like you couldn't handle a fit of jealous passion, and attacked my assailant before he could touch me?"
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The first thing Yan Zheyun had done upon reaching the Wu Household, was to throw up in the servants' lavatories. Then he'd spend an hour scrubbing his hands raw to try and get rid of the feeling that they were coated in blood. He remembered reading a translation of Macbeth before during high school, and Lady Macbeth's guilt-ridden cry of 'out damned spot' when she'd hallucinated blood on her hands after committing murder.
So this was what it was like to have someone else's life under his control. He'd been fine in the alleyway so he'd thought that he wasn't this affected by it. But after the relief of doing away with Liang Ming had faded, all Yan Zheyun could feel was a fatigue that made his bones ache. He crawled into bed and curled up into a miserable ball.
Now that he had killed a man once, where was he going to draw the line?
[Not to mention, I also threatened a good Samaritan, right after he tried to save me. And I still don't know whether he's going to report me to the ancient version of the police or not.]
Guilt, fear, and worry broiled in his stomach and made him feel queasy.
Wu Zhong and Xiao Ma came rushing back about half an hour later, bursting through the doors as they searched for him. Wu Zhong's anger was palpable when he caught sight of Yan Zheyun, darting over to yank on Yan Zheyun's arm like he wanted to haul him out and give him a trashing.
"Why did you just walk off without saying anything?! Do you know how worried we were?! I'd thought…" his words trailed off into silence when he caught sight of Yan Zheyun's face. Yan Zheyun wasn't sure what he saw but he was guessing he probably looked like shit. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"
Yan Zheyun made a vague noise of acknowledgement.
Xiao Ma drooped. "Stomachache? Those are the worst, maybe it's because we ate too much at the festival and Big Brother Yan isn't used to it." He hooked his lantern lovingly on the foot of his bed before rushing out of the room. "I'll go get some herbs that can aid with digestion!"
Once he was out of the room, Wu Zhong's expression turned severe. "Are you sure it's just that?" he asked, regarding Yan Zheyun suspiciously. "Did something happen while I was gone?"
Yan Zheyun chuckled feebly. He wasn't sure when Wu Zhong had signed up to play the role of his keeper, but lately, this taciturn young fellow had become more and more like a personal bodyguard. "I'm all right, Ah Zhong. I just need to sleep it off."
"Are you sure nothing happened?"
The look Wu Zhong directed at him made him wonder if Wu Zhong knew more than he was letting on. Had he checked the alleyway?
Yan Zheyun looked away. "I'm sure."
When morning came and the Wu Household wasn't crawling with constables braying for his blood, Yan Zheyun felt some of the unease settle. He went about with his chores as per normal, joking with Xiao Ma and hanging out with Wu Zhong whenever he had the time to sneak in.
But he couldn't shake off the nasty feeling that matters weren't so simple.
He'd heard rumours already about Liang Ming's murder. The body had been found the next morning. The Liang Family was livid and Liang Ming's mother, who was Liang Hui's good friend, had visited on multiple occasions to cry and beg for assistance with hunting down her son's killer. Dali Temple, the main investigations bureau, was already working on the case. The capital had different versions of the story, and Yan Zheyun had heard some of them from the servants who came to drop off horse supplies.
"They say that he was lured into the alleyway by a jealous ex-lover."
"No, no, my cousin's friend's uncle's sworn brother works in a stall near that alleyway, he said the area is haunted, it must have been a vengeful female ghost out to get revenge on cheating males!"
"Aiya, what nonsense, you saw that Young Master Liang before, you know he dresses like a peacock. Some thief must have targeted him."
"But his valuables were all left behind! You're the one talking nonsense!"
Liang Ming had a terrible reputation in the capital so no one but his family mourned his loss. But he was still juicy gossip. Yan Zheyun listened intently but tried not to look like he was paying too much attention to their attempts at being Sherlock Holmes. There wasn't any mention of him in any of the stories. Good. This meant that the poor scholar, at least, still hadn't reported him yet.
But what if it was only a matter of time? Yan Zheyun wasn't sure how long he could last before this uncertainty drove him insane.
Perhaps he could contemplate killing the scholar too…
He quickly dismissed the thought. He would draw a clear line with his moral compass. There was no way he was killing an innocent man for some peace of mind, that would only be self-defeating.
[Learn to live with it,] Yan Zheyun told himself firmly. [This is the world you belong to now.]
And so he learned. One week passed. And then another. And by the end of the second week, he felt like maybe this incident had blown over, at least for now.
Before he knew it, it was the day before Wu Bin's wedding.