The feeling of being possessed, if I had to give a word to it… it would have to be suffocating. It's like being submerged in water so deep you can just barely see the sunlight coming in from the surface, and the pressure was keeping you from moving a muscle. I've heard of sleep paralysis, and that had always terrified me, but this was much worse than what I had imagined that being.
Cthothis said that she was going to heal me, so I try my best not to resist, but every single primordial instinct in me activates all at once and forces me to move in any way that I can, despite orders from my brain.
It doesn't last for long, probably a second at most, but it feels like over a year. As soon as Ctothis leaves my body, I spasm violently, like I was having a stroke. I turn over and get on my hands and knees as I desperately try to catch my breath even though I was breathing just fine.
That was a truly awful experience I never hope to repeat. Ctothis said her will was much stronger than mine so it wouldn't be a very pleasant experience for me, but I wasn't expecting that.
As the panic from that feeling eventually dissipates, I force myself to take a look at my surroundings. I'm still in the same area I was in before I had talked with Ctothis. The remains of the ice/vine monsters are still there, they haven't started to melt yet. This area is cold, but it isn't freezing cold. I couldn't have been out for long.
I start to check my body. The hole in my foot is healed, although it left a horrible scar. Standing up also doesn't seem to produce any pain. Touching down on my ribs where I broke them also doesn't hurt at all. Moving around a bit proves to me that my muscles are also now longer ripped.
I feel completely fine, those stupid ice monsters are all dead, and there don't seem to be any monsters anywhere near here. I do my best to check in my soul, and yep, I definitely don't have any mana. Or at least, the amount I do have is too small to cast a single spell. Ctothis did mention that. No mana aside, I appear to be safe for now. Now is the time to think.
That spell from Ctothis, the one where I went absolutely insane. That was definitely a spell, but what did I do? What were its effects?
Well, I activated it when I was about to die. Its effects included being able to perceive everything that my senses could possibly pick up, as well as being aware of every single thing happening in my body at once. There was also seeing everything going much slower around me.
Actually, that probably was due to my perception as well. So that spell basically thrusted all of my senses up to their absolute limits. That's obviously very useful, but there's also that other effect. The complete loss of pain.
Not only pain, but a lot of my other emotions as well. Over that entire battle I didn't think I felt one emotion other than that sheer thrill. So that spell also suppressed my other emotions, as well as the feeling of pain.
The land after death where Ctothis presides in, also suppressed all my emotions except for my lust. Cthothis said that there were exceptions to that rule, and that I was one of them. What potentially gave that away to Cthothis was the first time I nearly died. When I felt nothing but a thrill comparable to that one…
I think I figured it out. The spell activated when I was desperately looking for a way to survive, but I also started having fun doing it. It only activated when I was having a thrill.
My hypothesis then, is that my feelings of arousal and thrill are connected somehow. They're similar enough emotions. That spell is a spell I can only cast when I'm in that state of mind, it amplifies that feeling, and everything I need to keep having that feeling. I could try and cast it now, but nothing would happen.
Now that I figured out what that spell is, it's time to name it. Given how Ctothis reacted towards me, I doubt this is a spell that anyone has developed. Well, with her connection at least. This is a spell that's entirely my own, and that makes me feel quite proud of myself, honestly. It's time to name my spell, let's see…
"Thrill on Death's Edge." I say, out loud.
Right on the nose. It gets the point across really nicely, and it sounds kind of fantasy like. You don't hear "Thrill on Death's Edge" and think sunshine and rainbows. I think it gets across the vibe I wanted to get across with it.
I'll wait for my mana to come back, and then I'll get on with trying to find a way out. Hopefully my connection with Ctothis is able to give me some spells which will help with that. Ah man, making my own spells with a connection so few people have! I'm so excited!
><><><><
I walk through a rather large cave. I haven't left the area I had woken up in quite yet, but I can see the end of the glowing vines approaching. After that, there looks to be a bit of a cliff face that I should be able to climb up no problem, and then a cave leads in from there. It looks like it's heading up, so I hope that takes me towards the surface.
The problem is though, that the glowing vines don't grow there, so I won't be able to see at all. I refuse to use fire, and lightning is going to be far too mana exhaustive to be useful. I'll draw monsters to me quickly, and waiting for my mana to recharge is going to slow down my progress a lot.
I need a new spell. Ah, so exciting! I get to make a new spell with Ctothis' connection! I'm so ready for this. I sit down, close my eyes and start to focus. Ctothis, I need a spell that generates light. Can you do that for me?
Nothing happens. I guess it isn't going to be that easy. All the spells I used thus far actually require imagining them in my mind, I guess for a being like Ctothis you can't just make a spell for someone with a connection with you.
Alright, so I have to think. What kind of spell could I get from a death spirit that would help me see? Oh, that sounds so edgy, I love it. Maybe I could sense if things are dying? No, that probably wouldn't be very useful. What can I do?
Actually, Ctothis is a death spirit, and she resides over life after death. Maybe I'm onto something there. I should be trying to enhance what I can see rather than creating light. I close my eyes again, and sense deep into my soul. What can I do?
I got a bit of an inkling that I could do this when "Thrill on Death's Edge" activated. I try my best to activate that spell, but nothing happens. I pull mana out of my soul, and imagine myself being able to see my surroundings in total darkness. Nothing happens.
Alright, new idea. I try my best to focus on the mana flowing throughout my body, and tone everything else out. I use the mana flowing out of my soul and wrap it around the mana in my body, forming a thin body suit. Oh, if this works, it's going to be amazing. I grab the mana in my body like I grab the air around me when I'm flying, and I pull.
The feeling that floods my awareness is something akin to disorientating. My awareness is thrust out of my body like I'm flying, but my physical body hasn't moved an inch.
I look behind me and see my physical body. My awareness is inside of a colorful, slightly see-through body, floating up in the air, with its feet still stuck in my physical body's chest. This new colorful body I'm in is completely naked.
I'm a bit embarrassed at first, but then I remember there's no one else down here. As soon as I get over that, I try and fly away from my body, but after not too long, it gets more and more exhausting to fly forwards. Flying even farther only makes my body even more see through as well.
I'm trying to figure out why, but then I realize that my soul isn't in this pseudo body I made with Ctothis' connection. It's still in my own physical body. The farther and farther I travel away from my physical body, the further my soul has to send out mana to keep this body sustained, exponentially increasing the mana cost relative to distance.
I look around. Things haven't gotten particularly brighter, but I can tell a whole lot more information just by looking at things. I can tell the depth of things, even when there's no light to go on, and I roughly tell what kind of material I'm looking at, again, even when there's no light to go on.
I'm still able to use magic while my soul is maintaining this pseudo body, so I start flying my physical body up over the cliff face. I can probably keep doing that, but I'd run out of mana faster than I'd like. It's going to be annoying switching in between my physical and pseudo bodies constantly, but I'm going to have to put up with it, or resort to fire.
><><><><
Life quickly becomes just switching to my pseudo body, looking around, switching back to my physical body, walking for a bit, and repeating over and over and over again. One saving grace has revealed itself, though. As long as I keep touching my physical body somehow, the mana I use to actually make my pseudo body goes right back into my soul so I don't lose any mana.
I'm sure that I'm actually losing a bit of mana there, but it's such a small amount, I can't notice it, and my mana recharges faster than it loses it.
Also, I don't think anything is actually capable of seeing my pseudo body. I had found what appeared to be glowing orange water, and what looked to be a black saber toothed tiger drinking from it. I had activated the spell from behind a wall, and flew right in front of its face, and it didn't react at all.
The only reason I was able to do that was because I knew my pseudo body couldn't interact with anything already. I had tried picking up rocks and they went right through my hands. I had tried shoving my head into a wall once, to see if it was like going out of bounds in a video game and I could find a way out. It wasn't like that, and I just submerged myself in darkness and my ability to see depth went completely inactive.
That brings us to now. As cool as it is, I'm sick and tired of having to switch between physical and pseudo over and over, so I want a new spell. I sit down in the complete darkness, trying to think of one.
Let's see, I can sense depth with that pseudo body, but how am I doing that? Is there anything I could do to replicate that with my physical body alone?
Think, what kind of animal do I know of that can see in complete darkness and be fine? Something that lives in caves? Bats! Bats don't really see in the dark do they? They make a sound, and develop a picture of what's around them based on how they hear the echo. Echolocation.
I wonder if I could enhance my hearing to the point I could do something similar then? Or maybe?
I focus and sense my soul. I pour a layer of mana around it, imagining Ctothis while I do it. While keeping Ctothis is my head, I imagine this layer staying there permanently, and having it sense incoming mana. After that, I unleash an extremely small burst of mana in all directions. I don't cast any special spell with it, just send it out in all directions. An amount that I probably recharge in a second or two.
Sure enough when the mana comes bouncing back into that layer I made around my soul, I get a similar picture of my surroundings that I did when I was able to sense depth. I wonder if I could…
It takes way too long, and I have no idea how I managed to actually do it, but I put a charm on that layer of mana I put around my soul. It basically creates a picture of my surroundings based on how mana hits it. All I have to do is unleash a steady stream of mana and I know exactly where I'm going.
I don't have a complete picture of how this new connection works, but I think I have a bit of an idea. While the Archons allow you to manipulate their respective elements, Ctothis' tends to revolve around death and mana. Since Ctothis oversees souls which are made of mana, Ctothis' connection allows you to cast spells that sense mana and do stuff with it, if that makes sense.
I used that little function in this case to keep up this layer of mana around my soul and have it make a picture of my surroundings based on incoming mana. All I have to do to keep this running is constantly send out an absolutely miniscule amount of mana from my soul. Not only does this take very little brainpower to do, also costs so little mana I gain it back just as quickly as I'm using it.
Words can hardly describe just how amazing this spell is! Now a name for this original spell for mine… "Mana Echolocation," from what inspired it. Although, I guess Mana Location would work as a shortened name.
Also, running a few experiments with it reveals that it's easily adjustable. In order to expand the radius I'm able to sense, I send the mana out with more intensity. To get a more precise image, I send a more dense burst of mana. Doing either of these though costs more mana, so I'll avoid using them unless necessary.
As useful as this spell is though, it does have a couple of glitches. If anything uses mana around me, it sends it into absolute haywire, and it creates pictures of my surroundings that make no sense and just look like static most of the time.
This also applies if I use magic in any way. Extremely useful 99% of the time, literally unusable the moment I get into a fight and really need it. That's definitely a drawback, but I should be able to avoid fights completely with it, so it isn't all bad.
Although… mana interference sending that super sensitive spell crazy is definitely giving me a bit of an idea… I head over to a source of mana interference to the best of my ability, with said interference rending my only way to see unusable and all.
I get a bit close, and I think I figure out what's causing the interference. It appears to be two monsters fighting. I'm not sure since I'm not close enough to see, and even if I was there's no light. I'm able to get an idea of what's happening though, given how the interference is causing my spell to glitch out.
Impressive isn't it? I'm already getting to the point where I can tell what's causing it to go wrong, just by what images it's sending into my brain! I cast that thought out of my head. As impressive as I think it is though, that isn't what I came here to figure out.
I turn the whole sending images directly to my brain function off and try to focus on the incoming mana completely with my own brain power. Tweaking the layer a bit to focus on the direction the mana interference is coming from and just focusing really hard in general allows me to figure out what's happening with some degree of accuracy.
I think about creating another function that senses where mana interference is coming from, but that will take far too long.
I generate as clear a picture of how the mana's flowing in my head, with my mental capacity alone. After a while of sensing, I sense that one of the monsters has a connection with Kari, and the other a connection with something I don't recognize.
With a bit of focusing, I figure out what spells the monster with the connection with Kari is doing. I sense wind blades, and the manipulation of air to increase its speed. After a bit of focus, I realize that whatever other monster is there, is using magic to manipulate the stone around it, trying to stab its opponent.
After a while of this, I sense a wind blade reach the source of mana disturbance, the one that was manipulating earth. As soon as that happened, all the earth manipulation stopped, and the wind manipulation stopped not too long after.
I activate Mana Location again, and sense that the source of mana disturbance using earth magic was some sort of humanoid creature. I know it wasn't human, because I pick up it having four arms, and it's way too big to be a human, probably around 11 or so feet tall. Anyway, it's in half now, a clean cut separating the bottom part of its torso from the top part.
The source of mana disturbance that made use of wind magic appears to be a large spider or some other large insect. It's about the size of a human, and walked over to the giant's corpse. It's doing something to it, but I don't know what.
I ramp up the intensity of Mana Location, and- oh, it's eating the corpse. I quickly turn Mana Detection back down to its default settings, I don't need to know that's happening.
I take my mind off of that by trying to develop another setting that will detect spells while they're still forming. It should help give me a leg up in combat. I'll name it "Mana Detection."
Mana Detection makes it easier to figure out what spells are being formed, but it still requires a bit of focus on my part, and I can only focus on one area at a time. Also, I made it by layering another layer of mana over my soul meant for that function. This means I can only use one at a time and I have to switch it by changing which layer is on top of the other.
Deciding that I'm happy with the new spells added to my roster, I begin looking for a way out once again.
><><><><
I awake in a location that has become very familiar with me. I check for my emotions, and they're no longer there.
"Speaking, speaking…" It appears I can still talk here, though.
"Hello again, Azariah."
I look up to see Ctothis on her boat above me once again. I'm of course in the land after death. None of the surroundings have changed, and I'm still naked in the same pitch black water. Cthothis must have brought me here the moment that I fell asleep.
"So… how long has it been since you've talked with me?"
"From your perspective, about 10 hours, from mine about 4 and a half millennia."
No sense of sadness strikes my body after hearing such a sad sentence. No matter how long I stay here, I never get used to the lack of emotions.
"Enough about me, though. Look at you. A single day with my connection and you already have three entirely new spells ready. It's really impressive. You randomly said "Thrill on Death's Edge," right? Is that what you're calling the first spell you made with my connection? Have you named the other three?"
"Oh, yeah, that is what I named the first spell I made with your connection. I also now have Mana Location and Mana Detection. The first of which has proved really useful, the second of which should do the same as soon as I get into another fight."
"Fascinating. So… "Mana Location" then… how does it work? Are you really able to get anything useful off of just reflecting mana?"
I start to explain, in detail how Mana Location works. It's a topic that Ctothis seems really interested in. When I finish with that, I move on to explaining Mana Detection. I don't like that I don't get to enjoy talking about it, but I keep talking anyway.
"I see, fascinating, fascinating, fascinating… That's a strong point of my connection, what you did to make both those spells work. My connection makes doing that much easier and simpler. Please, make use of all that. I really want to see what you can do with that."
"Alright, I will. Setting up those functions does seem really interesting to me."
"So, tell me about how seperating your astral body from your physical body went."
"What?"
"The first spell you made after you woke up. You sat down and separated you astral body from your physical body, but you didn't travel all that far. I had thought the first thing you'd do with that was fly right out of the cave."
"Oh, well I ran into a problem with that? Still, an astral body? I've been calling it my pseudo body."
"Well, what you've been calling your pseudo body is what magical scholars call the astral body. It's what spiritual beings such as myself appear in all the time. Physical beings like humans do have it, though. What you did back there was separate your astral body and your physical body, something mages that study the topic have significant trouble pulling it off. And you did it so easily."
"Really? Even then though, that doesn't fix the problem." I then explain to Ctothis just what the issue is, and ask her if there was anything I could do to fix it.
"Well… hm… your soul is still stuck in your physical body? That would cause an issue. How are you creating the spell? Explain in detail what you're doing and why."
I explain how I seperate my astral and physical bodies to Ctothis in as much detail as I possibly can. She calmly listens to everything I say.
"Well… I do have a solution, but it will be incredibly dangerous to actually try. I'd recommend waiting until Lucidna can supervise you until you try it."
"I see, dangerous in what way?"
"You could easily get your soul stuck outside your physical body. Lucidna should be able to fix that as long as she keeps a close eye on you."
"OK, I understand, I'll keep it in mind. Please wait until I meet back up with her until you tell me the method."
"OK, I will. One more thing, though. You said that you couldn't move your physical body when you were outside it, right?"
"Yes, what about it?"
"A connection with Diana, the Archon of Nature will allow you to fix that little issue."
"Seriously? You have my attention now."
"Diana's connection allows you to manipulate life. Healing magic comes from her connection, for instance. You could cast spells that manipulate your physical body from your astral one like some sort of puppet. Mix that with my connection, and it will be possible to have your body react to certain stimuli. Think of it like coding a robot."
"That certainly gets my attention, but how do you know what coding and robots are?"
"Some otherworlders mentioned them. I can see through every otherworlder, remember? I'm sure my knowledge is severely lacking on them though. Perhaps you could tell me about them?"
"My knowledge on both of those is sure to be pretty small as well. I tried to take up coding multiple times though, but I failed every single time. Is there anything you have more to say about astral bodies?"
"Fine then, but after this I want to know all of what you know about those subjects, even if it's lacking. The most intense is a body that can interact with the world and by seen by normal beings, such as mine. Yours is at the lowest intensity, unable to interact with anything or be seen by anything.
There are some spells that will allow people to see you, Lucidna has one, for example, but for the most part no one can see you. Being seen by others comes before interacting with the world. At your current mana capacity, even using all of it at once, you wouldn't be able to interact with the world for even a second."
"I see… so no one can see me naked."
"You're also able to change your astral form, although it takes a lot of practice. I believe Lucidna's is just her, but in a suit. I may be wrong about that, though."
"So you can change form?"
"Yes, I can?"
"Can you transform into a sexy naked woman then?"
"I'd rather not. This form holds a lot of sentimental value to me. If you ever run into a spirit that comes from pleasure, be sure to ask them though."
"I feel as though if I had my emotions, I'd be more inclined to ask about pleasure spirits, but now I want to know why you have sentimental value towards a form like that?"
"Let me start from the beginning. I don't know how old I really am, us spirits spend a very long time without conscious awareness you see. Something similar to how humans don't remember the first few years of their life. Spirits gain power by soaking up thoughts and mana that have to do with the concept they were born under. Death spirits like me gain power by absorbing mana intended to kill, for instance.
About a thousand years ago from the outside world's perspective I was suddenly overloaded with mana and given this form by the Earth God. He had killed the death spirit that used to have my job, and replaced him with me. He's responsible for the kind of person I am today, and I don't want to change that at all."