I take my seat and wait patiently for Jody to walk up to the altar in that beautiful white dress of his. This is my sixth day coming to these things before work. I've decided that getting to hear Jody's beautiful voice, and see his lovely hair & petit frame is the best part of this. Ulfoa then comes out the back door holding the massive metal plate and Jody is following close behind her. Oh, Jody… you're so adorable…
"Alright everybody, I think pretty much everyone's here already." He says as he walks up to the altar.
"Let's begin right away with the mass offering, shall we? You don't have to give, but Kári will surely appreciate it." Everybody gets up to give their offerings, including me. I've heard from Lucidna that Kári loved all sorts of art, so anything I draw could be considered an offering. Not wanting to be left out, I've started making a drawing in the morning for the mass offering everyday.
I've been buying the paper from the figment library with my paycheck. It doesn't cost much at all, so I think I can get away with not telling Aubrey about it. I also borrowed some pencils from the temple. I was super nervous about asking, but they were more than happy to give me a bunch for free. The mass offering ends quickly, and everyone returns to their seats.
"Alright everyone, now that the mass gathering is done, it's time for me to sing my praises to the Archon of Wind. Ulfoa, my harp." Ulfoa, who was standing next to him, hands him the harp.
"I apologize, but this one is going to be quite a sad one. It will be about Kári's reaction the The Archon of Frost, Beira's murder by the hands of the Archenemy Michael. I'm not sure if any of you are also members of Beira's cult, but I'll try to remain as sensitive to her regretful death as I can."
He wasn't lying when he said this song would be sadder than the others. It starts off and stays very slow. I'm not very musically inclined, but I can tell it's in a minor key. He's probably going for a good 7 minutes. At the climax, it sounds as if he's playing two or three instruments at once. You can also hear the sheer grief in his voice. It doesn't sound like he's singing about events eight centuries ago at all, it sounds more like he's singing about the death of a close friend. He's even crying, but this doesn't hamper his performance in any way. The song ends slowly, as Jody hums… He then wipes the tears out from his eyes.
"Ah ha~ sorry about that. I saw a really captivating painting of Beira's death and I just had to sing about it. Sorry for upsetting all of you like that." Don't say that sort of thing, the song was amazing.
"Alright, I'll get out the food, you mingle with each other." Jody and Ulfoa then leave.
"Wow, I didn't know he could sing a song like that." The woman sitting next to me says. Her name is April, she's the woman who first complimented me on my art my first time here. I've actually spent enough time here to befriend her, surprising, I know.
Two more people join in on the conversation.
"Yeah, I thought he could only sing the kind of stuff that makes you want to move. That honestly just made me want to cry."
"There's also… the fact he was inspired by a painting… That means he made the song… he wasn't singing something already written."
The two people joining in are Spring's friends, who I've also managed to get along with during my time here. They're Sienna & Aliya respectively.
Sienna's a tad bit taller than me. She's thin, and her boobs are only slightly smaller than mine. Her hair's black, although not as much as mine, and cut short to just above her shoulders. Her eyes are also black.
Aliya's shorter than me, just short enough to shove her face in between my boobs without having to bend down. Her hair's a dark red, which she combs down to cover her right eye. She's completely flat. I was theorizing that she was actually a boy, but April & Sienna referred to her with "she" and "her". Hoping she was a boy was purely because of a fetish of mine, so I guess it's also disgusting that I was disappointed when I kind of figured she was a girl.
"Yeah, it was amazing. I loved the way he cried during it. And the way he moved his body around. I honestly couldn't look away." I say, trying to add my input to the discussion.
"Yeah, it really felt like he was really upset about what happened." April says.
"Yeah, he's such a good actor, I wonder how much he's had to practice to get that good." I say.
"He's the son of Kara Graham, isn't he? He's probably been practicing since he was a little kid." Sienna adds.
I'm not quite sure who Kara Graham is, but she sounds like someone I would really know if I wasn't an otherworlder, so I don't want to embarrass myself by asking. We sit there for a bit before Jody & Ulfoa come back with food and art stuff.
"We're back!" He says.
><><><><
Jody's sitting down at the lower chairs instead of the altar, and eating along with us. He's randomly plucking at his harp and writing something down on a piece of paper. He has his legs crossed like a woman. The white dress he's wearing leaves his shaved legs exposed. The creases in his dress also expose the shapes of his thighs. Suddenly, Ulfoa walks up in front of him and starts having a conversation with him, blocking my view. Ugh, get out of the way!
"Wow, you're really interested in Jody, aren't you, Azariah?" Suddenly, April catches me staring. All of my body suddenly seizes up in stress as I desperately try to come up with an excuse.
"Oh, no I wasn't staring at his beautiful legs, I was just staring at the wall! The window looks really nice!" What the hell was that excuse?! What's wrong with me?!
"Um, sure."
I really shouldn't be making excuses anyway. I'm staring at Jody purely out of lust, which is inexcusable. I should really just apologize instead. "I'm sorry, I can just be really disgu-"
"You're crushing on Jody, Azariah." Sienna interrupts me.
"N- no! I'm not crushing on him… He's just so pretty, cute, his voice is beautiful, I love the way he dresses, I love his hair, I love how he has to clarify he's a boy-"
"OK, we get it, you're crushing on him."
"I… I'm seriously not, though…"
"It's OK… you don't have… to hide it…" Even Aliya joins in, and she hardly ever speaks. I'm seriously not crushing on him though, I just love his body… and his voice… and his hair… and his dress…
"Yeah, I'm not really sure Jody would be a good man to go after though." Sienna adds. Uh, why is that?
"Azariah seems… really captivated… by him, though…"
"Yeah, Sierra, your personal feelings aside, Azariah should really get to know Jody herself before she decides not to go after him." I seriously feel like we're skipping something important. Why is Jody a bad person to pursue?
"If you're… nervous… we'll help… talk to him…" Oh no, they're trying to set me up with Jody. If you told me just a week ago I'd have three female friends all trying to set me up with a cute boy, I would be over the moon, but now that it's actually happening I'm getting riddled with anxiety.
"I mean… but… what about Ulfoa?" I say, desperately trying to make an excuse to not be introduced to Jody. I don't think the two of them have that kind of relationship, but it might help me get out of this.
"Ulfoa's just his assistant. Nothing you need to worry about there." April says, quickly killing all my hopes.
"Well, I mean-" Sierra starts
"Nope, we're letting Azariah form her own opinion of Jody, remember?"
"Yeah, alright."
"So Azariah, you want to go and ask him out?" Huh?! You're asking me to go ask him out on a date?! How did we get here?! This is going way too quickly!
"You're… stressing her… out, April."
"Yeah, you are pretty shy, aren't you? How about this, you come with me, I introduce you, and we figure out a place we can all go together, sound alright?" That does sound pretty nice… I would like to hear Jody's voice more.
"O- OK… I probably won't say much, though…"
"That's fine, come on." April quickly drags me over to Jody. Oh God, I'm about to be involved in a conversation with him, this is really stressing me out.
We only have to walk from one side of the temple to the other, so it isn't very long before we reach Jody. "Uh, hey, Jody? Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Of course, what is it?" Jody quickly looks up from his work. Looking at it, he was writing sheet music.
"Yeah, my friend here wanted to get to know you better, so she was just wondering if you would be free to hang out with us sometime in the future."
"Hm? Just the two of you?"
"There'll be two more of us, is that fine?"
"Two more women?"
"Yeah, Sierra and another you wouldn't recognize."
"So this newcomer just wants to get to know me? In what way?" April looks at me, silent. Aargh! How dare you put me on the spot like this?!
"Um… I just thought you were really cute, and I love your voice… um, uh, I want to know how you sing so well…" I stammered the hell out of that, but I think I got some sort of general point across.
"Oh, well, I see." He seems… kind of disappointed by that answer.
"Well, that's fine, I'm always up to meeting new people. How does the Heafdes Local Art Museum sound?"
"Heafdes Local Art Museum?"
"The largest art museum open to the public in Heafdes. It actually has a ton of paintings and stuff that Kári himself made. It'll be fun." He's right, that does sound fun.
"My job, though…"
"Hm? What about your job?" Jody asks.
"I work 12 hours a day, everyday. I'm not sure when to find the time…"
"Huh? You're quite a hard worker, aren't you? You can ask for a day off, your boss will be that lenient, right?" It isn't that easy- wait, actually it probably is that easy. If I just ask Lucidna for a day off, she'll probably give it to me, as long as I promise to keep studying. I could also tell her that what I'm doing that day would help motivate me to study harder. I'm probably not even lying about that.
"I'll ask her… I'll tell you tomorrow when I'm free."
"Alright, that's fine. Any time next week is fine. I'll be able to move my schedule around for you guys." Hah… I'm actually going to be going to an art museum… that sounds really fun honestly. Not only am I going to be going to an art museum, I'm going to be going with my friends and a cute boy… Ah, this is a dream come true… I never could have imagined something like this just a few weeks ago.
><><><><
Waiting is kind of stressful. The art museum is yet another large building in this huge city. It's built on a hill, and it's 3 stories tall. One story is on the bottom of the hill and two stories are on top of the hill. I'm waiting by the entrance on the top of the hill. I'm here alone, waiting for everyone else to get here. April, Sierra, and Aliya still aren't here. Neither are Jody or Ulfoa. Ulfoa decided she was coming too, by the way.
"Hey Azariah, you're here early." As I'm freaking out about the possibility of them not showing up I hear Jody's beautiful voice. Looking over to the source, Jody and Ulfoa are walking towards me. Jody's wearing a dress other than the white one he always wears to Kári's temple. It's a green dress with huge sleeves. The dress comes down to the floor, meaning his legs aren't exposed, which is really disappointing. On the plus side, his shoulders are exposed, and there's a diamond shaped hole, exposing his chest area. The cloth from the sleeves wraps around his neck which I think looks really cool.
Ulfoa's wearing something slightly more revealing. She's also wearing a dress, but it covers her shoulder and entire chest. The dress part only covers the front and back, leaving her thighs and the rest of her legs exposed. Thighs are nice, but I definitely prefer chests, so I have to say I prefer Jody's. Ulfoa's dress is also yellow, and I think that's just too much yellow. Ulfoa is wearing flowers in her hair though, which I think is really cute. I'm more disappointed that Jody isn't also wearing flowers in his hair, though.
"Hmm, I like your robes, Azariah. I haven't seen you in anything that wasn't black." Jody says. I'm currently wearing a dark blue, thin fantasy looking robe. I had bought it just for this occasion. I wanted to buy something different from the black stuff I always wore to Kári's temple, but lighter colors just aren't my thing, especially with my new appearance. I thought that dark blue would be fine since Kári's associated with blue, even if it's a much lighter shade than this.
"So, where's April and Sierra? Oh, and, um… Aliya, right?" Jody says
"Yes, her name is Aliya." I respond.
"Ah, I'm glad I could get another follower of Kári's name right. Back to my original question, they aren't here with you, are they?"
"No, they aren't, sorry."
"Don't worry about it, we're all here rather early anyway. They aren't necessarily late."
Jody and I chat for a bit, while we wait for the others to show up. In the time leading up to this day, speaking to him doesn't cause any anxiety to well up inside me at all. I got kind of somewhat close with Kiaran, but now I'm actually having a casual conversation with a cute femboy. Ah~ it's a dream come true…
Ulfoa is still rather distant, though. She doesn't talk much to anybody that isn't Jody which makes me really nervous. Jody's told me that's just how she is and not to worry about her, though. They seem kind of close actually. Not as significant others, but as siblings. They don't look very similar though and apparently Jody's family is kind of a big deal in Kári's cult while Ulfoa's isn't, so that probably isn't the case genetically.
We're speaking for a while about some of the stuff we could find in the museum, and Ulfoa only butts in a few times during the entire thing. We're doing this for a while before we finally hear some more people approaching us.
"Hey Azariah! How long were you three waiting out here?" April says from further down the hill, followed by Sierra, who is in turn followed by Aliya.
April's attire hasn't changed all that much from what she usually wears. Sierra and Aliya are both dressed up though. Man, I'm really glad I bought something to wear…
Sierra's dress up in a black and white dress that comes down to the floor. It leaves her arms exposed. Captivating and edgy is my first impression. Aliya's dressed in white and light blue robes. She's wearing a white veil over her head, and a large blue bow on the back of her head. Elegant & cute is my first impression.
Argh! Why do my friends have to have such great clothes?! It just makes what I'm wearing look pathetic in comparison! It's honestly really embarrassing to be underdressed like this, and I can't handle that sort of feeling… At least April's dressed normally…
"So, now that everyone's here, shall we get going?" Jody says. At that, everyone gives their own forms of agreement before we're on our way.
"In the pursuit of art and wonder, man and woman must fly forward so quickly their fears and anxieties may not catch up!" Jody says, as if quoting a text. I think I heard Lucidna say a quote of Kári's that sounded similar…
><><><><
We get in rather quickly. The entrance fee is a bit expensive at 3 silver coins per person. That's 18 silvers between all of us. Me and Jody are splitting the bill down the middle. Jody said he'd pay for it all since he came from a well off family, but since I was the reason we were here in the first place I really wanted to pay. Jody insisted and Ulfoa eventually just told us to split it 50/50.
We're walking around everywhere for a good 15 or so minutes admiring all sorts of paintings and sculptures. Apparently Jody comes here often, and he was able to explain the history of all the pieces and their artists way more in depth than the random plaques by the pieces did. He even had dates memorized. Something I was incredibly impressed with since I've always struggled with those.
I was having quite a lot of fun, even up until then when I saw a certain painting which demanded all of my attention. It looked to be a painting of this world. It wasn't a map though, it looked to be a painting of what this world would look like from orbit. You could see the way the horizon curved due to the spherical nations of planets and you could see how the geography of this world curved around it. You could see clouds over the planet, but the background was just pure black. Nothing but black.
"Huh? Azariah, you're rather captivated by this piece, aren't you?" Jody says, noticing me just standing here staring at it.
"I think… it's rather… beautiful…" Aliya joins me. No, I don't think you quite get it, Aliya. This painting looks exactly like a photograph someone took from in orbit. This shouldn't be something a culture which knows nothing of the cosmos would be able to produce. And yet, here it is…
"It's a rather great piece. One of my favorites. All We Know Is This #3 by the Archon of Wind, Kári." is what Jody has to say about it. "All We Know is This"... what a title. I go to try and read the plaque under the painting, but a lot of it is written in rather complicated language. I do manage to get "by Kári", though.
"Ah, that might be a little bit difficult for you to read, Azariah, the language is quite antiquated." Jody notes.
"Hey Jody?" I say.
"Yes?"
"Can you please tell me what it says?"
"Yes, it's a quote from Kári, and it's quite long, are you ready?"
"Yes." Jody then begins reading the quote.
"Even by my standards as an Archon, the journey this high was greatly laborious. The higher you go, the thinner the air gets, the harder it is to breath and eventually there is no air at all, so I had to bring my own air along with me. What's more, at a certain point, during the day, temperatures will grow so cold, they put even Beira's coldest frosts to shame, so I had to regulate the temperature of the air I brought with me as well. But it was oh so worth it.
Once I had reached this zenith and looked back down at our world, I was assaulted by a wide range of emotions I had never felt before. Worthlessness, wonder, awe, inadequacy, appreciation, and several others joined me upon my flight and stayed with me even upon my arrival back to solid ground.
Down to my very soul, I could only think of just how pathetic we are all. All of our conflicts, all of our relationships, every man woman and child of every race, and creed were down there, within my view, yet I felt utterly powerless. I had gained a newfound appreciation for just how pathetic I, and everyone else was?
My loyalty to the Earth God? My wives? My husbands? My lust? My magic? My appreciation for the arts? My fame? My life itself, and all my memories & experiences? All down there, yet another unrecognizable speck of dust.
Even with this realization, my only regret is that I was unable to do it any justice at all with my lacking skill. Portraying that emotion I felt then in paint or any other medium is beyond even me."
Wow… just wow…
"Azariah… are you… crying?" says Aliya. Holding my fingers up to my eyes, I realize I had shed a single tear. I quickly wipe the tears away.
"I'm sorry, it's just that I was taken aback by that…"
"I understand how you feel." says Jody.
"I need to sit down for a bit…" I say, and everyone goes with it. I sit down and think about that for a bit.
The main question I'm thinking of is why the hell has no one mentioned that yet? Surely that would be the most important thing to mention about Kári, right? The more I hear about him, the more I can't help but fall more in love with the guy, but this goes beyond that. Learning he was a femboy? Learning he supported art and was an artist himself? Learning he had husbands? This went beyond any of that. The fact that he'd actually been to space makes all of those look like nothing in comparison.
I want to doubt it, I really do, but I can't. A culture that hasn't been to space wouldn't have been able to create a painting like that. Also, what Kári had described there was definitely the overview effect. He wouldn't have been able to write about it in that detail if he hadn't at least heard from someone who had experienced it. I had heard that the Archons were essentially Gods, and that Kári was so powerful he could casually create hurricanes, but it's never been as much in my face as it is now.
The feeling that ends up filling my body is a feeling I haven't felt with such intensity in either of my lives: Loyalty. Loyalty to the Archon from 800 years ago that used his magic to travel to the cosmos and became humbled by just how little he really was. At this moment, I have become a true member of his cult.
Up until now, it was just a fun get together I could use to do art and chat with people I liked. I only gave to the offerings until now to fit in. I never participated in the prayers either. Now it is different. I want to offer my best to Kári, I want to pray to Kári. I know he's long dead, but I heard through this world's magic system he was still able to interact with the world and answer prayers.
I think I understand now. I don't know if anyone else feels the same way, but I feel now as if praying to Kári isn't for him to listen to us, and to fix all our problems, it's a constant attempt to finally be heard by such a great being. I'll give my best to you, Kári! I'll be noticed by you! Since I'm an otherworlder, maybe even one day I could join you in the group of few people who have seen this pale blue dot for speck it is. Oh, how honoured I would be…
><><><><
Time does not wait for me to come to terms to my realization, and it quickly becomes night. We went around the entire art museum after that, but nothing even came close to that painting. I had asked Jody what the "#3" was about, and he explained that Kári did at least thirty paintings of the planet from orbit, most of which aren't around today. Apparently #1 is stored in the floating city Aeracrest over in Monster Country, and #2 got destroyed in a fire 600 years ago.
Anyways, I'm sitting on a bench, just outside the art museum looking up at the stars. They're all so distant, but Kári could get closer to them, even if it was an astronomically small amount of distance he actually covered. Even if it really doesn't matter, I also want to get closer to those far away stars, like you, Kári.
"Enjoying yourself out here, Azariah?" Jody's beautiful voice. Turning around, I see Jody walking up to me and Ulfoa following close behind.
"I think we're pretty much done for today, Ulfoa. Join April and the others, and head back home, will you?"
"If you say so, Jody…" Ulfoa then leaves as Jody closes the distance between us and sits down next to me.
"So, what are you thinking about?"
"The stars… I was just thinking about how Kári got closer to them than any of us ever could…"
"How poetic. I could probably turn that idea into a song, if you'd like."
"Please don't. That would be far too embarrassing…"
"If it matters that much to you, I'll promise not to sing it to anyone. I just want to see what I could do with the concept. You aren't a song writer, but you are an artist, right? I'm sure you understand the feeling."
"Yeah, I do." I'm actually having a conversation with Jody. Completely alone. On a topic that's near and dear to me. Is it possible for me to be happier?"
"I'll even let you help write if you want. As you know, the Graham family is an important family within Kári's cult, so my residence is rather large. I'm sure I could find a well enough place for you, if you wanted to come over and stay the night."
My heart nearly stops in happiness as I hear this. Stay the night? With Jody? I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it now!
"Of course, if you don't want to, I understand. I don't want to be overbearing, after all."
Overbearing? Overbearing?!
"I don't really… think that you could be overbearing around me, Jody." Given some of my more private thoughts about you, that's probably impossible.
"Are you sure about that? Since you're a newcomer, I'm not sure how you feel about this, but I'm sure you know that members of our cult tend to be rather… promiscuous…"
Huh? No, this is my first time hearing that. The rush of emotions that starts welling up within me could only be described as intense, though not in a bad way.
"I'm certainly no exception. I've had quite a few relationships with both men and women, but I'm currently by my lonesome in that regard."
Huh?! Seriously?!
"I can understand if that's a little off putting to you, Azariah."
Oh, it's quite the opposite actually. Especially the relationships with men part…
"What about Ulfoa though, you two are so close." Jody looks at me with a rather cute blank expression.
"Oh, I don't think the relationship between me and Ulfoa is the relationship between a man and a woman. We're just friends, I think. Friends with certain pleasurable bonuses involved, but friends nonetheless."
Oh… Oh… I can't quite describe the emotion that fills my body right now, but I do know it's a positive one. It quickly gets replaced by concern however.
"Is… is she really OK with you talking about her like that?" Jody looks at me with a cute, confused expression. Every single expression he makes is cute.
"No, she doesn't mind. It's not like we make any attempt to hide it. Or anyone else in our cult for that matter. I'm honestly quite surprised the first time you're hearing this is from me."
I'm really conflicted. On one hand, that sounds awesome, on the other there's no way I could possibly handle that sort of thing right now.
"Well, moving on with what I wanted to talk with you about. I'm currently by my lonesome. It's just that seeing just how much you appreciate art, has caught my attention. I know that you draw every single day for the mass offering, and the level of emotion you showed upon seeing that painting… well I guess I might have caught a few feelings for you, recently."
Huuuuh?! Am I dreaming, I have to be dreaming, there's no way this is real!
"I have no intention of stopping my activities with Ulfoa, and I know that can be a huge deal breaker for those outside our cult, so I understand if you don't feel the same way towards me."
Oh, it's quite the opposite for me. I wonder if Ulfoa's into women. If she let us have a threesome I think I'd actually die of happiness.
"But your passion and love for art, hidden behind that reserved personality and that mysteriously alluring appearance off yours are things I absolutely adore about you."
I'm being completely overwhelmed. Yes! Yes! Yes! This is the perfect time! Tell him just how you feel about him!
"Of course, if you don't want that kind of relationship with me, I'll just forget about it and move on. But if you gave me the chance to be with you, I'd love nothing more than to spend time with you, Azariah."
Aaaaaaaaahhh! This is perfect! There's no other words I could possibly use to describe it!
"So, what do you say, Azariah?"
Yes, please! I want to tell him I want to be his girlfriend. I want to tell him I want to live with him. I want to tell him to take me right here and now. But when I do, I seize up. Anxiety. No, not now. Anytime but now. He's right here, he's offering himself to me, so why do I feel so nervous? What could possibly go wrong here? I don't understand.
Maybe I'm not ready for this sort of thing? Yeah, that's why I'm getting so nervous. I'm scared because of the possibility that this kind of thing might not be all it's cracked up to be. That thought terrifies me. Whether it's healthy or not, a huge part of my personality revolves around the idea of what personal relationships are like. Not having my preconceived notions confirmed when I actually go through this sort of thing could shake me to my very core.
Yeah, I don't think I'm ready for this yet. I'm still far too immature. For my emotions to be showing themselves like this, it's just confirmation I still have a lot of growing to do before I could be in a relationship with anyone. There's also the fact that Jody's being so mature about it, which is just adding to those feelings.
The fact that this is the case only highlights my childishness, but what I'm about to say might just be the saddest thing I've ever said.
"I'm sorry. I don't think I'm ready for that sort of thing yet. I would love to continue being friends, though."
Jody doesn't even look a little bit upset as he stands up. "Alright, that's fine. If you think you're ready, and I'm still not with anyone, feel free to talk to me again. I'd also be fine, if you approached me if I was already in one or two relationships already, but if you're not OK with that, there's no need to force yourself."
Being in a polygamorous relationship with Jody… I want it… I want it so badly…
"Well, see you tomorrow, Azariah."
"See you…"
Jody then leaves, completely unaffected by my rejection. He'll be fine. He'll continue writing songs, and performing for Kári's cult. He'll go about his life completely fine, as if nothing even happened. As for me, though… I begin to cry. I already know I'm not going to take this well.