"Take him back to the house."
Nick nodded, helping Drake up. Drake's expression has fallen, he looks at Rhap then to Tim, a grimace adorning his lips. "I'm sorry."
The apology was met with a sharp nod from Tim.
The tension didn't fade entirely but the moment Drake and Nick left our range, breathing became easier. I got up slowly, hugging Tim from behind, nuzzling his neck, pressing my nose against his scent gland. Kissing it.
Slowly but surely, Tim relaxed. Not entirely, of course. Not when I had yet to bite his neck and our connection was one-sided.
Paul coughs.
Luke and Raph exchange a look but neither was brave enough to say anything. Not unsurprising considering Tim was absolutely terrifying for someone who was 5'3 and looked like the epitome of 'Dark-academia-soft-boy.'
"Drake's right." Chris says, head poking from behind his twin's shoulder. "You weren't there. Neither you nor Peter can understand."
"Then explain." I shot back, hugging Tim a little closer. "Because it doesn't matter anymore why you keep this a secret. They're both dead."
My words hit everyone like a physical blow.
I'm not ashamed to admit that it fills me with satisfaction, although it does frighten me a little. Causing pain to your pack is probably one of the worst things in the world and I didn't want to be as lost as to find it entertaining ever again.
"Now that they're dead, why does it matter?" Paul sighs, tired.
"It matters to me." My voice is small, and I'm not sure they heard it. It's stupid and silly, I know. But I want to understand why.
I want to know the reason behind the open loathing that surrounded his name. I want to know how these people who once upon a time, I had been sure would fight for him, side to side with him, would turn their backs and pretend Leo didn't mean anything to them anymore.
I wanted to know what changed.
It could have been Maria's death but I doubted it. Leo was capable of many things but forgetting his duty for grief wasn't one of them, I knew this. There was proof. When Shuji had died, Leo closed ranks and made the pack stronger.
Peter didn't know why either, couldn't understand what had happened any better than me. Meaning it had happened after he left, after the gang was dismissed. And that only the founders knew the truth.
"...Fine." Raph says, looking pained. "But this is the last time we touch this subject."
I nod.
"It was two months after the gang was disbanded… It came from nowhere. Yes, things had been bad after Maria but… Leo was smiling again. I thought that… maybe… maybe we could get that happy ending, you know?"
Raph laughs bitterly.
Tim's scent turns sour, I hug him closer.
I couldn't imagine what they had gone through after learning the truth. To me it had been shocking, painful when I realized that not even a miracle could have saved Jason from my poisonous touch.
What had it been to Tim? To Drake? Both of them had lost the persons they loved no matter how much effort Peter had put on avoiding it, had to learn that every future that Peter had seen was terrible. That we never get that happy ending.
I'm not surprised that they all got obsessed with the idea.
"Leo summoned us to the temple." Paul continues, he's looking at the sky. He seems lost in the memory. "There was something wrong in the air. I cannot explain but…"
"Leo's scent had changed. It was sweet, like apples with honey. But also…" Luke tries.
"Acidic." Chris ends. "Strong. Awful."
"Drake was the first one to try and get closer." Tim says quietly. "Drake's an alpha. You know that, but he hadn't been for long by that point and his worry tasted like spoiled milk. He ran all the way to the hidden spot under the altar, you know the one.."
"Yeah." Leo loved that spot.
He always said it reminded him of his mother.
"Leo was… I don't want to say crazy but…" Rhap's voice shakes. "He looked like a demon."
"He moved like a demon." Paul said grimly.
I had a feeling I knew where this was going on and I didn't like it.
"...You're saying that Leo fought you?"
Luke snorts.
"More like he beat us up." Chris laughs. "I don't remember much, I was knocked out early in the party. Experimenting the infamous kick is… an experience, I'll tell you,"
I was… confused. Staring dumbly at him, I slowly released Tim. Shaking my head to clear my mind, I put my hands on my partner's shoulders and met his eyes.
"I don't understand."
"Sweetheart... " Tim started, eyes shining with pity. "None of us do."
I took a step back.
That's not…
"No. That's not— I don't get how Leo beating you evolved into this?" And I really didn't. Strays was a gang. A violent gang at that. I mean, yes, Leo was honorable and we didn't usually involve innocents in our problems but. Still.
"What do you mean?" Tim sounded as confused as I felt.
"You don't think Leo using violence on us is… wrong?" Luke frowned.
"No?" I hesitated just because everyone was looking as if I was the one that had lost it.
"Even if it was unprovoked?" Chris pressed again, a calculating glint in his eyes.
"Are you sure it was?"
"Yeah! We're sure." Luke pipped, offended.
"You seem… very ok with this Touma. Why is that?" Tim asked, a concerned frown appearing. "Did Leo do something like that to you?"
I was starting to worry about their mental state. These cases of bad memory were not good, should I try to take them to a doctor? Maybe it was the grief. Hopefully, because I didn't like the idea of all of them suffering for this long while I didn't notice.
Especially Tim.
Jason would drag me to hell with him if that was the case.
"I'm not ok with it." I said, panicking a little. "But Leo doesn't do unprovoked violence. He's a brat and his reasons are mostly childish but he does have reasons. Jason was the same. You did notice that, right? It can't be news to you. I mean, Leo mellowed down a lot after Drake barreled into our life but…"
Jason hadn't.
He was as wild as the day we met. Tim couldn't be surprised by the inherent violence, could he? And while he and the twins had joined after I was sent away, the other's hadn't. I looked at Raphael when Tim continued to look lost.
"You must have known." I insist, raising my voice an octave. "I had a broken arm when we met!"
"Yeah. You fell from the towers?" Paul hesitates.
"You really don't… Jason pushed me off the towers because I ate his last pudding. We grew up in the slums. Violence runs on our veins. Are you telling me that neither of them was rough with any of you?"
"No." Raphael shook his head, eyes big and shocked.
Alright.
As mind blowing as this was, it also wasn't that important. Not when what I was hearing was not painting a nice picture.
It seems like my bad feeling was right.
"Pardon my English but what I'm hearing is that you're all a bunch of pussies."
"For taking it to heart?" Chris asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Aha."
"You say that because you weren't there." Luke says, crossing his arms.
Paul slaps him in the head, shaking his head at the childish answer. "Dude, you're twenty-six. Act like it."
I ignore the byplay, still feeling out of my depth.
I take another step back, smacking Tim's hands as he tries to reach me. I'm not sad, exactly. But it's not the numb feeling that had entrapped me after finding the bodies. The tiredness returns and I just want to lie down and sleep.
"I need time to think." I told Tim, apologetic.
Tim's lips form a thin line but he nods.
I ran all the way to the house, a piercing pain taking hold on my temples. My hurried entrance attacks attention but I ignore all the concerned voices that call my name as I lock myself in the bathroom.
I close my eyes and press my head against the wooden door.
Leo had obviously done it on purpose.
Had understood how they would react and done it anyway. Had wanted for them to hate him for treating them like enemies. Using their ignorance in his favor to manipulate them into following his wishes.
'God.' I think, putting my hands over my mouth to cover the hiccups. 'How much were you suffering to do this? What did Peter tell you that convinced you this was necessary?'
Because I had no doubt it was related to Peter; to that fucking 'happy ending' that had everyone obsessed with.
Was it selfish of me to hate a dead man? Sure. But in this moment I wished I could have killed Peter myself for putting this stupid idea on Leo's head.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry I wasn't here for you.
I'm sorry you were alone.
I'm sorry, Asahi. This is all my fault.