"…everything all right?"
Wen Rui snapped out of his daze just in time to lose his grip on the prawn he was ferrying to his mouth with chopsticks. It tumbled across his shirt and the wasabi mayo coating that Zhou Ye had liberally drizzled all over that dish left three green patches that Wen Rui suspected were going to remain forevermore.
"…' He had no response for Zhou Ye, who was looking at him from across the table oddly. What was he supposed to say? That he was once again indulging in that terrible habit of his, the one he'd developed since the first day he realised how long Su Jiali's eyelashes were? That it was so easy for him to get distracted by his crush's face that he tended to space out when confronted with it?
Or that he was acting like that in front of Zhou Ye because, at some point—he didn't know when—his ridiculous childish feelings of rivalry had morphed into a liking that had grown so quickly and boldly that it threatened to make his first love look like a joke.
Stupid Zhou Ye and his stupid face and stupid kindness. Wen Rui was so stunned that it was Zhou Ye he wanted that having to reevaluate his sexuality seemed mild in comparison.
"Everything…is good?" he tried with a weak smile.
But of course, as they both knew, Zhou Ye wasn't buying it. He drummed his fingers once on the table before letting out a low hum.
Wen Rui didn't like the way that sounded—or rather, he liked the way it sounded too much and that was the problem. Perhaps it had something to do with the lighting or with Wen Rui's guilty conscience because of the wild idea he'd been harbouring in the deep recesses of his mind since the car ride home. But he swore that the atmosphere tonight was charged with something different, that made the air prickle against the fine hairs on his skin like static.
"What's wrong, Wen Rui?" Zhou Ye asked. His eyes were darker, his voice was lower. Even when Wen Rui forced himself not to look at him, it was hard to concentrate with the racket his heart was making against the bars of its cage.
[…you're what's wrong, how do you expect anyone to eat in peace if you're looking at them and talking to them like—like—] He didn't dare to complete that sentence, even in his head. He couldn't guarantee that once he allowed his thoughts to go down that direction, his skin wouldn't betray him by glowing bright red like a beacon.
"It's really nothing," he replied, keeping his tone as level as he could, which honestly wasn't much. Acting was not his forte, it seemed. He was going to have to ask CE to consider sending him for lessons if he wanted to expand his career in this direction.
Lessons. Practice. Yes, practice.
[Should I ask, should I not—]
His palms became sweaty as he thought of all the ways what he wanted to do could go wrong. He could embarrass himself. He could make a fool out of himself. He could have misread Zhou Ye's signalling completely and disgust Zhou Ye enough for him to call his lawyer on the spot and file for a divorce.
The possibilities were endless.
But because they were endless, they also included all the ways it could go right.
Wen Rui was willing to take the gamble. Back when he'd 'chased' Su Jiali, he'd always backed down before he did anything more than hint at his feelings, hiding in the safety of ambiguity rather than taking a brave step forward.
He didn't want to know whether things would have been different back then if he'd tried harder. He wanted to know whether things could be different now.
Mustering his courage, he willed himself to appear calm as he said, "I've just had a hard day at work, is all."
Zhou Ye's stare linger for a moment longer before he lowered it back down to his plate. And Wen Rui was left wondering why he hadn't noticed until now that Zhou Ye had very long lashes too, the only part of his features that soften the strong lines of the planes of this face.
"Something happened?"
Wen Rui shook his head. "Nothing bad, just…" He pretended to deliberate, even though every cell in his body was already buzzing from the adrenaline of setting his trap. He had to lure Zhou Ye in… "I couldn't act out a kiss scene today."
Zhou Ye stiffened as he heard the word 'kiss'. He recovered almost instantly and Wen Rui would not have realised if he hadn't been completely attuned to Zhou Ye's every move, excitement and nervousness warring within him as he tried to gauge Zhou Ye's reactions.
He picked at his rice, remaining as casual as he could when he added, "Director Fu said that it might be my inexperience." This wasn't a lie. "He suggested trying it out tonight before filming a new take again tomorrow." This was the big, fat lie.
"Trying it out?" There was a rough edge to Zhou Ye's voice. The words felt like they were scraping gently over Wen Rui's skin, eliciting a slight shiver.
"Trying it out," Wen Rui repeated. He lowered his lashes onto the table and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, worrying it with his teeth in a show of hesitation, as though he was in two minds about what he was about to say.
"I've never…kissed anyone before," he confessed quietly. "Or at least…if I have, I don't remember it." He let out a helpless little laugh, finger interlocking and unlocking under the table to try and dissipate some of the anxiety he was feeling. "I was hoping—that is…I—" The words wouldn't come. And it didn't appear like Zhou Ye was cottoning on either. He was watching Wen Rui with eyes that were so dark now that they reminded Wen Rui of the ocean at night and with one last deep breath, he allowed himself to drown.
"Can I try it out on you?" he asked in a rush.
The silence that ensued was nerve-wracking. It was loud in Wen Rui's ears, the sharp ringing of tinnitus escalating to almost unbearable levels as Wen Rui's heart sank in increments with every second that Zhou Ye didn't give him an answer.
He was just about to succumb to his trepidation and tell Zhou Ye to forget it, to beat a hasty retreat with the tattered remains of his dignity, when Zhou Ye finally spoke.
"You want to kiss me."
His words filled up all the space in Wen Rui's mind.
"Yes," he heard himself saying. It took his poor brain an extra couple of seconds to realise what he'd said but his blush reflex was too quick to respond and he felt like someone had set him on fire. "I mean! I'd like to practice kissing with you! If you don't mind!"
"Practice."
[No,] Wen Rui thought.
"Yes," Wen Rui said. He was feeling more unsure now than when he'd first brought up the subject. Thanks to 'modern crown prince' masterclasses or 'young heir apparent' finishing school, whatever it was the Zhou Family had done to nurture Zhou Ye when he was growing up, it made it impossible to read. Wen Rui couldn't tell what Zhou Ye thought about his suggestion, which was starting to feel more and more harebrained to him as their stilted conversation progressed.
Zhou Ye didn't seem offended but he didn't seem keen either. Was this—was this how someone would react if a person they were interested in offered to kiss them?
Wen Rui didn't think so.
The anticipation he'd felt earlier when he'd first walked through their front doors was slowly making way for gnawing dismay. His feet, which had been cold in the first place, were positively icy now and he quickly stammered out a withdrawal, trying to give the both of them an easy way out of this awkward situation.
"It's okay if you're not comfortable, I was just seeing if you'd be okay—"
"I'll do it."
"—with it—huh?"
"I'll do it." Zhou Ye lifted his eyes and Wen Rui couldn't help but lean back in his seat. Was it just him or…did Zhou Ye look a bit…fierce?
"You—are you sure?"
"I'm sure." After a second, Zhou Ye added, "Are you sure?"
Of course, Wen Rui was sure. This was his ridiculous suggestion, after all. Even if he hadn't expected Zhou Ye to become so intense about it, had thought that he would remain professionally detached even after agreeing.
"Thank you for agreeing to help me," Wen Rui said, playing it as cool as he could, even though he was feeling a little heady from all the somersaulting his heart had done in mere minutes, plummeting and soaring with every word Zhou Ye uttered.
"No problem." Zhou Ye threw a glance at the clock. "I'd like to shower first though."
So would Wen Rui. He'd just been sitting on this dining room chair but the back of his shirt was already drenched like he'd run a marathon. He didn't want Zhou Ye coming near him without him looking and smelling his best. Call it vanity or whatever but this was the person he liked and he wanted to be as perfect as he could when he kissed them for the first time, even if it was in the guise of some dumb excuse.
"I'll knock on your door later then?"
Zhou Ye reached out and placed another prawn on Wen Rui's plate.
"After dinner," he said. "And a shower. I'll knock on yours."