next morning!
my eyes were almost the size of a balloon when I heard the news of Jaehyun transferring to my university. is that even possible? we're in the second year moreover never heard of anything like a colleges student transferring to other universities especially between International institutions.
you seem to be in deep thoughts, you know my dad he's just able! well, see you then.
I watched him leave with guilt if it weren't for me he would be in L. A right now. I look at the untouched omelette, I wish he won't skip his breakfast. putting on my grey cardigan I went to the hospital.
I was sitting at the bus stop with thoughts that I'd missed a few of the buses. miss Maria, it's going to be harder and I think you should decide before it's too late. the doctor told me with the X-ray explaining every detail of it. instead, I asked the doctor to give me more time to think because I am not going to have it, I don't enjoy living anymore and most importantly iam too poor to afford the surgery fee.
I was absent for 4 days straight and if I was the old me I would be panicking as every attendance counted. I decided to visit the college library to freshen up my dull mind.
'the girl who drank the moon' I pick this book curious about how a person came to love and accept themselves. with just page 1 my eyes were already drooping, without keeping myself awake I give in.
reading books have always been my sleeping pills.
hello miss, wake up its 4:30 p.m and I saw you sleep for hours. I was woken up by the librarian and she asks me whether I was okay. thank you for your concern but I am okay I smiled at her quickly gathering my belonging to leave but something caught my eye.
a cup of coffee was there on my table, who might it be? I don't have friends to give me coffee I thought but anyway thanks to the person because I am drinking it.
my neck! ah, it hurts! next time I visit the library I think I should bring my pillow because I don't want to hurt my neck anymore.
when I reach home it was already dark, removing my shoe I enter the living room just to be kidnapped by delicious smells. my stomach growls answering back to the smell, shameless me! good evening! will you clean up? the dinner is ready Jaehyun told me, slicing some vegetables.
are you inviting me? I ask pointing my finger at myself figuring out whether I heard it right or wrong. he chuckles at my answer, come quickly before it gets cold.
fried beef, beef soup, vegetables salad, kimchi and rice. wow! I was in awe to see the foods before me. thanks for the food! I said waiting no time to dig in. tasty foods makes me happy moreover, his food is tastier than the food back at my home because there's no bad environment here. my stepmom nonstop complaining always kills my appetite, she doesn't have any other moment except during meals.
I was too full as Jaehyun keep on giving me meat, we didn't exchange words much just this that and I wasn't sure whether it's a hallucination but I could feel his stares throughout the dinner. he didn't even allow me when I offer to do the dishes telling me.
he has changed a lot, sure the uncle must've raised him to be a gentleman but I don't deserve all this treatment though yet again I couldn't even express how grateful and sorry I am because I don't know how to.
silent with a dull expression is my personality so, I will try as much as possible not to bother him. but why is he so good to me? he should be treating me like trash, I ruin him and this is how it works but why?
....
(one week later)
he's still good to me!
so the girl as bad as I am started to avoid him because I am scared to fall for him. covering myself with the blanket I let out a huge sigh looking at the scattering papers on the floor. assignment! business management is not easy as it seems there's a whole lot of seminars to go but why do I even put effort? when I don't know what will happen to me after this year.
ringing!
unknown no.
hello,
is this Maria? I am Hana the one you ask me to find your mother. okay, thank you so much. hanging up the phone I got up from the bed, leave my room to embrace the snow. the one whom I loved the most left me but I can't move on easily like her so continuously and secretly I search for her spending so much money just to know whether she is alive or dead. my mom is an orphan and this makes it even more difficult, she chose her first love over me but I want to see her for the last time and tell her how much I've missed her.
pieces by pieces the snow landed on my palm, are you sad like me I ask throwing them over my head. where are you, mom?
I think it's risky to be out without a jacket, a familiar voice interrupted my peaceful moment. I am strong and this snow isn't so cruel to harm me I replied but unfortunately I sneeze.
gosh! what were you thinking wearing a flip-flop outside this cold snowing night he swears Little anger in his tone. with an OO I was pulled and dragged inside unable to finish a single sentence. I was out of six sense out there too occupied by the resentment until I was inside the building and now I was busy shivering with my weak leg trying to stay put until we reach the apartment.
5th floor!
damn!
a jacket covered me at the right time, taking my hands he blew his warm breath helping me to stay warm. I was freezing at the moment but I can't avert my eyes from his face. once again his actions overwhelmed my heart, the kind of treatment I never hope to receive we're at it again making me realise that I was unloved, pathetic and hopeless.
warm tears slid down my face hitting on the jacket, quickly I break from his grasp pulling up the jacket up to my chin not wanting any more for him to see me in this state. I hated this! I fail my promises, I bother him again.
.....
knock 2
Maria? have some hot milk, it will make you warm faster. I don't deserve your kindness Jaehyun. I didn't open the door nor give him any answer because if I open the door I dont think that my arms would listen to me, I want to pour all my emotion on his shoulder because my heart starts beating for this man.
I am sorry Jaehyun!
.....
coughing!!
ah, my body is aching! I couldn't move! cough.. cough my throat is sore and dry, I am getting cold because of last night.
water!
pulling out the blankets from my body, I sat on the edge of my bed slowly lifting my body I went to get water.
my body feels so heavy and my feet hurt like something poking from the floor whenever I make another step. at this rate, I don't think I could make it to the kitchen. with a shaking hand, I manage to bring up to my mouth and gulp down a glass of water.
but I wasn't feeling any better and the stings on my feet increase so I decided to take some more time before going to my room. cough.. cough.. gripping tightly on the head of the chair I stand up with a deep breathe I took a painful step.
I think you should go to the doctor now! suddenly I was lifted, carried in a bridal style by two strong arms. put me down! I struggle but he's so strong that he didn't even bulge. due to his long strikes, we reach the front door and I panic, it will be game over if I go to the hospital now.
please put me down, I hate hospitals please I cried with the little voice left in me wishing that he would listen. he stops right at the door turning back he carried me back to my room. without a word he left my room closing the door with force, he was angry.
I lay down on my back bracing my death without anyone by my side, that's what I've always wanted but why do I feel so sad. a wet clothes touch my forehead and other wet clothes were rubbed all over my next, hand, stomach and feet and carried on for a couple of times until my body fall back to normal temperature.
you're going to be alright, wait here, let me go get something for you to eat before you take pills he said pulling the blanket up to my chin leaving the room.