"This is the Hotpot; it keeps water for the miso soup warm all day. Every morning you have to turn it on. If you don't, you won't have any hot to dissolve the soybean paste. Can't have miso soup without hot water." Zorana took mental notes as she followed Renetra around the restaurant as she showed her around. She made it there bright and early, waiting outside the doors to get her training started. Excited was an understatement; Zorana was ecstatic to have a distraction. For the past two days, she had only been trying to ignore the growing poppy seed within her stomach. When she wasn't Throwing her guts up, she buried herself under her blanket, trying to ignore reality. Thankfully neither Austin nor his mother was present at the apartment much. She wasn't prepared to tell anyone yet, not before her first doctor's appointment.
Renetra rounded a corner and pointed to a stack of boxes lining the wall. "Those are the intake beers. You need to refill those in the fridge with those in these boxes at the end of every shift. Think you got everything?" Renetra turns to her, with her short arms propped on her hips, "I know I explained everything quickly. I hope you got it."
Zorana smiled at her and nodded her head. "You explained everything well. I think I got it." Renetra smiled at her back and started back walking towards the kitchen.
"I have an excellent server coming in later today to show you the ropes. You can follow around and greet tables with me until then." For the rest of the day, Zorana stuck close behind renetra like a little duckling until the other server showed up. Then she was passed along and following behind the other woman, right on her heels. At times Zorana felt like she was bothering her, but the server reassured her that she wasn't annoying. At the end of the day, she helped close down the store and dumped the trash in the back of the building.
Renetra was sitting at her desk at the restaurant's back when Zorana came to her to ask if she was good to go. Renetra turned around to look her in the eye and gave her a wide smile. "You did amazing today, Zoro!" She said, putting a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "You really helped out and caught on to things so well. Thank you."
"Thank you!" Zorana replied, "It was nice to stay the whole day and get to know the restaurant a bit." Renetra couldn't have helped the feeling of proudness washing over her.
"God! I'm so happy; it's so hard to find servers that really take the initiative to thrive." Renetra turned a bit to her left and grabbed an envelope perched on the desk. When she turned back to Zorana, she handed her the small white rectangle. Zorana opened it up and looked over the money inside. "Those are the tips you earned from the tables you took today."
Zorana blinked down at the money and then back up to Renetra, "I took them under your name." She said quickly, pushing the envelope back to her manager. Renetra bellowed out a laugh and shoved them back to Zorana.
"Yes, I know, but you did all the work, and you killed it! My subconscious would eat me alive if I kept that money from you. Again thank you, Zoro. You were a big help." Zorana stared down at the money and smiled as she tucked it into her purse over her shoulders. "Well, you're all done for the night. See you tomorrow?"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Alright then! Go ahead home and get some rest." Zorana excused herself from her manager's office and out through the restaurant's front. As she made her way to her car, she got a text from Austin. In all caps, he texted her, "Where are you!" She rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him before getting into her car and making the short trip to his apartment. When she made it to the front door, Zorana knocked once, and within seconds, the door swung open to Austin's glaring face.
"You had to stay that long?" He grumbled. Zorana sighed, pushing past him into the living room.
"I wanted to stay all day and get familiar with the layout. Austin sighed overdramatically as he flopped onto the couch beside her.
"I don't understand why you need a job anyway." Zorana didn't say anything back. She pursed her lips together, trying to fight back the instinct to curse him out aloud. Austin couldn't have been so oblivious that he didn't realize she had gotten the job because of him. Luckily he didn't care enough to continue the conversation as his hands slowly snaked around her stomach. Zorana winced a little as his hands slid slowly over the skin of her belly, none the wiser of the small bundle growing. She wanted to tell him; she really did. Every muscle in her body shook as Austin kissed a line down her neck. When he stopped and looked at her through her curly hair covering her face, he pulled away a bit with a look of concern on his face.
"Hey..." He said slowly, "You okay?" It was almost as if her body wanted him to know as well. As soon as the words left Austin's mouth, a surge in her stomach began to lurch its way up her esophagus. No... he can't know. Austin can't find out.
She shoved Austin to the side with more roughness than she intended and raced down the hall to the bathroom. Tears started to stream down her cheeks as she slung the door open and hurryingly shut it behind her before Austin could barge in. When he made it to the door, he pressed a hand to the knob to try and twist it open, only for him to find out the door was locked. "Zorana, what the hell!? What are you doing?" Zorana slowly backed away from the door and let the silent cries she had been holding in finally slip from her mouth. Her stomach turned again, and before she could make an excuse to usher Austin away, she was bent over the toilet again, heaving violently.
Austin took a step back from the door, his heart hammering in his chest. Was she throwing up? He tried the doorknob again, but it didn't budge. Thoughts of confusion began to twirl in his mind as the sounds of Zorana throwing up on the other side singing in his ears. The door hallway began to feel longer, wider as he slowly took shaky steps away from the door. He felt sick, coupled with the overwhelming need to scream and hide in his closet like when he was younger. Whenever his parents fought, he would be afraid, thinking that their problems were too much for him, too big for him to help them through. So he would hide from them. He would sit in his closet, bring his knees up to his head, and bury his face into his pants. When he couldn't hear their muffled yells anymore, he would come out and pretend as nothing had happened. His parents always followed suit, making Austin wonder if it was all a part of his imagination. As he heard the sounds of Zorana's contents hitting the pool in the toilet, he hoped silently it was all a dream, just like when he was a kid.
He walked to his room, taking a seat on his bed. He couldn't hear Zorana anymore, but he knew she was still in there, heaving and crying. Alone. For whatever reason, she wouldn't let him into the bathroom; he was glad. He wasn't ready to face that. He was never forced to confront his parents about the arguing, so this time he hoped he wouldn't be forced to face Zorana. He sat, staring at the floor until he could hear the sound of his doorknob turning. After what seemed like an eternity, Zorana came in, her hand fisted into the side of her pants. She covered her mouth with her free hand, tears still rushing down her face. Austin wanted to ask if she was okay, he tried to put his arms around her and hug her, but his body wouldn't allow him. He sat frozen on the bed. He watched from the corner of his eye as she slowly shuffled to the pump up and buried herself into the blanket.
Austin stood then, walking over to her, and grabbed the blanket. He very gently pulled it away from her petite body and took her quivering hand. She helplessly followed as he lifted her and walked her over to his bed. When he pulled back his comforter, he urged her into the sheets and threw the covers over her shoulder. Zorana's body rocked as more tears pooled onto his pillows, but Austin blocked them out to protect himself from having to acknowledge what they both knew. Instead, he got into the pump up and drifted off to sleep to the sound of Zorana's hushed cries.
~X~
The following day, Austin left before Zorana even woke up. When she peered at herself in the bathroom mirror, she was horrified at the picture painted. Her cheeks were covered in dried tears; her eyes were red and still puffy, her curly hair was disheveled around and beginning to frizz. She took a face cloth and ran hot water over the surface. Maybe if she scrubbed away the tears, she could wash away the pain.
Zorana worked any day she could for the next few weeks and pretended the urge to throw up every once in a while was just a reaction to whatever she ate. Austin never brought up that night, and she couldn't be bothered either. She hoped he had pushed it away and ignored it as she had. But Zorana knew the more she ignored it, the more her tiny poppy seed would grow. She bit back her fears and decided it was time to call a doctor. She set her appointment for that following Friday and asked her manager for that particular day off. She didn't give her a reason, and Renetra never asked. Zorana was grateful that no one was pressuring her for answers.
The Monday before her appointment, Austin stumbled into their bedroom as drunk as he usually was. He bumbled over to her, sitting in his bed, and crawled into her lap, resting his head onto her thighs. She didn't even try to push him off. Her body craved his touch and wanted him to be near her. It was such a strong emotion that she couldn't even bring herself to turn him away.
"Are you okay?" He whispered. His face was turned towards her stomach, and she sucked in a breath, hoping he wasn't speaking to the poppy seed. Before she could answer him, he sat up and looked her in the eye. "I got the Gig."
Zorana's eyes widened at the unexpected news. "Oh my gosh... really?"
Austin gave her a weak nod and then a grin. "I perform Friday." The air left in Zorana's lungs deflated the second Austin mouthed Friday.
"Oh..." Austin heard the concern in her voice and raised an eyebrow.
"What's wrong?" he said, "You got work or something?" Zorana looked away from his gaze and pushed out a sigh.
"No...um, I can...make it." Austin stared at her but was too intoxicated to realize anything hidden behind her words. Instead, he cuddled up beside her and pressed his head to her shoulder. Zorana felt awkward but put her hand on his back and tried to get her body to relax. She could feel Austin's breaths tickling on her collarbone and silently wished he'd breathe through his nose.
"I'm gonna get scouted." He said softly, "I promise you." Zorana hummed her reply and closed her eyes, not seeing Austin's hand snake out to rest on her stomach. He wanted to place it there, rub the soft skin beneath her shirt, but he couldn't. He was afraid. His hand dropped to her thigh instead as he nuzzled into her neck. "I promise you, Zorana."
~x~
The next morning, Zorana stood outside the restaurant, placing their lunch special sign onto the patio. She looked onto the parking lot across from her, feeling the nippy autumn winds grazing her chocolate skin. The restaurant sat in the middle of a small shopping center. Across from Zorana was a line of small stores. Things like a salon, a dry cleaners, a thrift store, small boutiques. It was a cute area that a lot of college teens frequented. Zorana couldn't help picturing herself visiting with Austin and his friends a year ago, never knowing that she would be working there the following year.
She worked until about two o'clock until Renetra released her for her lunch break. Zorana walked along the back of the restaurant to a small underpass that most of the cooks used as a smoking area. She pressed her back into the cold brick and closed her eyes. Her sickness never went away, and these days, she found herself throwing up even more. The longer she thought about her morning sickness, the more knots her stomach twisted and turned. She puffed short slow breaths to hold back the urge to purge her breakfast onto the sidewalk, but it didn't help. She tried ignoring the urge, fighting it, pretending it wasn't there, but her stomach didn't attempt to agree with her.
She quickly rushed to a patch of grass on the side of the building and heaved her heart out. Zorana focused, steading her breath as each wave of nausea hurled more of her stomach's contents out of her. She didn't hear the rushed footsteps behind her until a hand pushed into the small of her back.
"Woah! Hold on, let me pull your hair back." A woman's voice said behind her. Soft feminine hands brushed over the sides of Zorana's face and her forehead, taking the loose strands of hair with them. Zorana gasped for air as the last surge left her body. "Are you okay?" Zorana sighed and covered her mouth in embarrassment as she looked over to the woman who helped her.
Behind her stood the most beautiful woman Zorana had ever seen. She had shoulder-length choppy black hair. Her hair and makeup were flawlessly done. Zorana noticed her pretty nails as she dug into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Zorana stared at the long curled lashes dropping a shadow over her stunning black eyes when she looked down to her lighter. The woman looked over to Zorana, and their eyes met as she took a long drag out of her cigarette.
"hold on a second, let me go grab you some water." The woman ran off before Zorana could stop her, leaving Zoranna stunned standing there. Who was she? She'd never seen her before. She definitely would have remembered such a tall and beautiful Asian woman. She was gorgeous; she looked as if she had just stepped out of a magazine cover. A few moments later, the same lady came jogging back with half the cigarette gone and propped in her mouth. "here you go," Her long arm stretched out and handed her a bottle of water. Zorana took it and immediately unscrewed the cap off, and drank half the bottle.
The woman gave her a smirk and plopped down on the curb. "You work here." She said, pointing to the restaurant behind them. Zorana awkwardly walked over and took a seat beside her.
"Yeah, I'm on my lunch break." The woman nodded.
"So am I; I own that little salon over there." Zorana looked over to the line of stores and found the only salon on the strip. In bright neon pink letters spelled out, 'A touch of bae.' She looked back to the woman just as she stretched her hand out towards Zorana. "Hanabae Miyamura. But I prefer if people called me Hana." Zorana took her hand, a bit surprised by the firm grip of the other woman. They shook, and Hana gave Zorana a large grin.
"Zorana," Zorana said slowly, "Hardy."
"Well, nice to meet you, Zorana. What's going on with your stomach? You pregnant or something?" Zorana choked on the bit of air she breathed in at that moment, earning an amused chuckle from Hana. "Oh..." She mused.
"No," Zorana said in between coughs. "I think I just have a stomach bug." Hana seemed to accept that answer with a nod of her head.
"Yeah, the weather changing seems to have everyone sick nowadays." She says slowly. "It probably doesn't help you don't have a jacket on." Suddenly Zorana felt bare in her clothes. She took her arms and crossed them over her chest, covering herself. Hana stared at her for a long moment before taking her pink plush coat off and throwing it over Zorana's shoulders.
"Oh!" Zorana tried to shake the jacket off, but Hana was firm in placing it over her. "I'm fine, really."
"no, no, us girls gotta stick up for each other." Hana let the fabric go and watched it drape over Zorana's shoulders.
"Thank you." Hana sighed, took another cigarette out of her pocket, and disposed of it between her lips. Zorana felt mesmerized as she watched Hana take her all-black lighter and heat the end of the white stick. Hana could feel Zorana's brown eyes studying her and looked back over to her.
"Does the smoke bother you?" Hana asked, taking a puff and blowing it away from Zorana's face. Zorana thought briefly of her tiny poppy seed but shook her head.
"No..." Hana gave her another smile and took another drag. "I was thinking about how pretty your lashes were. I'm curious as to how you were able to get them so full." Hana grins wider, finishing up her cigarette. She threw the bud on the ground before answering her.
"They're eyelash extensions. I'm a beautician. I do hair, makeup, and nails." Zorana mesmerized again, stares a bit longer at her lashes. Hana didn't seem to mind the hyper-attentive glances from the other woman. "Would you like for me to do yours?" She asked, shocking Zorana out of her trance.
"No...Thank you, but I'm okay." Zorana couldn't admit to Hana how bad she wanted to take that offer but held back due to her decreased funds. Hana could hear the slight hints of disappointment in her voice. "I'm offering as a stranger trying to make a friend, not a businesswoman." Zorana blinks up at her, and they catch eyes again. This time Zorana held the eye contact. "You don't have to pay," Hana said with a chuckle.
Zorana felt pressure behind those eyes, almost as if she was being challenged to say no to the offer. "Why," She heard herself squeak.
"Why what?"
"Why would you offer a free service if you're a businesswoman." Hana turned her head to the bustling business center and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.
"You seem stressed out. Whenever I'm stressed out, I like to get dolled up." Hana looks back over to Zorana with another smirk. "Maybe if you feel pretty, it'll wash away all your stress. What time do you get off?"
"It's gonna be late," Zorana told her, "Like eight or nine."
"Perfect." Hana picked herself off of the ground and onto her feet. "I shut my salon down at seven, but I stay until around nine every day cleaning up. When you get off, come by, and I'll do them for you."
Zorana stands with her and gives her a warm smile. "Thank you, Hana. This means a lot." Hana says nothing, only grinning once more at her before strutting over to her salon.
Somehow the pink plush jacket on Zorana's shoulders felt much more warmer.