Austin appeared at the door, looking disheveled from a nap. "Where the hell did you go?" He grumbled as Zorana pushed through into the living room.
"An interview! I just got a job." Feeling proud of herself, Zorana grinned back at him and put her hand on her hips in a confident pose. Austin didn't seem phased as he walked over and took a seat on the couch.
"Oh yeah? Why would you go and do that?" Not the reaction she was expecting. She raced home excited to tell someone about the new job, only to be met with a barely awoke and slightly pissed Austin.
"I get bored just sitting here all day; I figured I'd do something. Why not make it a job?" Austin didn't say anything else. He kept his eyes focused away from her and his arms crossed over his chest. Zorana walked over slowly, trying to read his mind. What was his problem? She wasn't expecting him to be jumping wall to wall for her, but she at least thought he would have told her good job. "We could use the money too, I guess."
"Wouldn't know why," Austin finally said, leaning up and looking over to her, "My mom and I wanted to talk to you about something, whenever she got home." Feeling disappointed in the way Austin reacted to the news, Zorana nodded and walked down the hall to the bedroom to sit on the pump up and watch youtube videos.
She lost track of time between random videos of professionally trained competitive eaters stuffing their faces full of calories and makeup tutorial videos. When she glanced over to the clock, it was already three in the afternoon. She redirected her eyes to the bedroom door when it slowly creaked open. Austin and his mom walked through, looking stern and sullen. An amused and confused eyebrow shot up at the look of them standing in the doorway like two awkward teenagers about to ask their mom if they could go to a party. She could hear them in the other room talking whenever she was in the process of changing videos and waiting for them to load. She didn't feel the need to go in and talk to them, figuring if she did, she'd most definitely be included, and all she wanted was to be rendered unimportant to the topic of discussion. Bills. But when they came in looking as if they had a load to carry on their backs, Zorana knew there was no escaping.
"Hey, babe," Austin started, crossing legs and pushing his weight into the doorframe. "Things have been getting pretty tight for me. Well, not just me, my mom too." Zorana choked down a snort, just waiting to burst out. If things were so tight, why'd she just buy a whole new bathroom set and redecorated the bathroom? Zorana could feel something wasn't right but slowly nodded and waited for anything else to be said. "My phone bill is due today, and I just don't have it on me."
"Oh okay, umm, how much was it?" Zorana asked, looking over to Mrs.Thoman, shifting slightly beside Austin. Zorana was sure she tried to play the motion off as just a shift in stance, but she could tell from the atmosphere she was nervous, maybe even a little tense.
"105." Just what she thought. Zorana sucked in a deep breath.
"He really needs the help right now," Ms. Thoman started, " I covered the rent this month, but I need him to pay his own phone bill." He wouldn't be the one paying it though, it would be Zorana.
Zorana lowered her head, trying to come up with another excuse. This was starting to get out of hand. This wasn't the first time Austin and his mother had an "intervention" with Zorana. This also wasn't the first time Austin miraculously didn't have enough money to cover his own bills. Between taking care of his studio sessions and now even his bills, it was just too much on Zorana. Austin didn't even bring up the gig he was trying to get at the club anymore. She was starting to believe it was all just a lie he came up with to get her to send him the money. Zorana didn't mind helping; she really didn't, especially when she was told she didn't have to give them any rent. But as she watched her funds slowly disappear from her checking account, she couldn't help but feel like she was being used.
Ms. Thoman stares at Zorana for a really long time. Even with her head still lowered, Zorana could feel her hawk eyes digging into her skull. "So, " Ms. Thomon said, trying to gain her attention, " are you going to pay his phone bill?" Zorana wanted to scream, she wanted to cry a little, but she kept her composure and gave the older woman a firm nod. Ms. Thoman smiled down at her and started to leave out of the room. "Okay! Y'all, go on now before the place closes." And with that, she was gone out of the room and into her own bedroom across the hall.
Austin shut the door and walked over to his closet to grab a jacket, not saying a word Zorana's way. She glared at the back of his head, wondering how gutsy it must have been to have a conversation with his mother about how they were going to confront her about paying his stinking bill. On top of all of the sessions, she covered for him. At this point, Austin was so in debt with her, she'd have to take his whole check from his gig to pay her back if it was even worth that much. "You know," She said roughly, "A thank you would have sufficed."
Austin turned then to look at her with a raised eyebrow. "I figured this was just a trade-off."
"Trade-off? If you wanted anything to be considered a trade-off, that would have been the $450 every week for you to go to the studio." Austin groaned and threw his jacket over his shoulders. "That's more than your rent!" Zorana stood up and walked over to him, glaring into his face. They stood toe to toe, a faceoff in who could silently curse the other's existence more. "But, wait, you don't even pay the rent; your mom did this month. How is it that I just got here a couple weeks ago, and I'm already paying more than you are!?"
Austin leaned in and gave her a devilish grin. "AT&T will close in thirty minutes." He walked off then and started for the front door. "Hurry up, we'll talk in the car." Zorana stood there for a second, unsure how to feel about what had just happened. She slightly felt like she was definitely taken advantage of. Was She taken advantage of? No... She was staying there for free... the least She could do was help him pay a bill.
Right?
A wave of panic started to crawl throughout Zorana's body. No, she wasn't going to question how she felt. She knew this was wrong; she was being taken advantage of...but why? Why would Austin and his mom use her like that? How would Austin's mom even know that she could take advantage of her...was it the money? Zorana's eyes widened as realization started to settle in. She choked on a gasp that shot through her mouth and burned her throat. Austin told his mom about the money. They were using her!
Zorana could feel her legs pumping and before she realized it, she was already swinging the front door open. A gust of cold wind lapped at her exposed skin, but she didn't even bother to turn around and grab a jacket. Zorana's body was exposed and chilled outside, but it burned and boiled with a developing rage inside. She stomped down the stairs, liking the way the rails rattled with every earthquaking step she took. Austin was already in his car, watching her as she rounded the hood of it and swung the passenger door open before slamming it closed. The suction of the car door hitting the car frame shook the whole structure, earning a quick glare from Austin before he backed out and pulled out of his apartment complex.
Zorana brewed in her head how she would shoot everything to Austin. She wanted him to make the first move and say something first so she could use her rage and explode on him, but Austin kept his mouth closed and focused solely on driving.
Finally, Austin cleared his throat after what seemed like forever and sunk a bit more into his seat. He knew his girlfriend was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode on him, and he really didn't want to be bothered by a fight, but her silent death glares were more annoying than her actually bitching. "If you're angry, just say that."
"I'm angry."
"Why?"
"Did you tell your mom about the money I have?" The car goes silent. Austin sighs but avoids answering her question. He watched the cars he passed on the interstate as he weaved through traffic. She felt so annoyed by the silence that she pushed his shoulder to get his attention. "Austin! Did you?"
"I mentioned it."
"Why!?" Zorana could no longer hold back the emotions that started spewing out of her. In an attempt to hold them back, she fisted her hands into her pants, but her attempts only proved to be futile as tears started to leak from her eyes. No...she wasn't supposed to be crying. She was supposed to be cursing him out, yelling, asking for him to send her back the money, not crying. The more she tried to stop the tears from rolling down her brown cheeks, the more they wanted to run along her skin. She hated that money. She didn't even want the money. Zorana wouldn't have even used that money if she didn't have to. She promised herself she would use it to continue school and then the remainder to get a start in getting a house, maybe even a new car. The money reminded her too much of what she had lost. What happened. She didn't want to even acknowledge it was there. Austin knew it was there, though, and now his mom knew.
Austin looks over at Zorana and hardens his frown at the sight of her tears. He really didn't find helping him pay a bill was that serious. "God, I didn't know you wanted to keep it a secret like that. I'm sorry." the way he said sorry like it was nothing pissed Zorana off more, but all it did was produce more tears. A wave of helplessness washed over her body as she realized she couldn't argue with him the way she wanted; she would never have the motivation to cross him. Zorana knew she was afraid of confrontation, of putting her opinions out there in a way that just made people understand. All she could do was meekly go along with whatever to avoid problems. He should be genuinely sorry for making her even feel like this. He should have been comforting her, not using her for what she was worth.
"I thought you would have understood something like that should have been kept between us."
"Dude, I'm sorry, damn," Austin snaps back shortly. By that time, they arrived at At&t. Reluctantly Zorana got out and followed him inside, where they paid his bill off. All while she tried to come up with an excuse to tell herself why she still ended up paying for the bill.
When they made it back to the car, Austin turned to her and put a hand on her thigh. He could still see the streaks of tears that dried on her cheeks and wondered if the people inside the store saw them as well. Even in just the light of the setting sun, her eyes puffy and red from crying, Zorana was still incredibly beautiful to him. He let his hand softly stroke the soft skin on her leg and caress her fears away.
"If you think I'm using you for your money, stop." Zorana looked up to him as she brought her hands up and wiped away more tears that started to pool under her eyes. Austin took his thumb and caught one droplet slowly forming under her right eye and smeared it into her cheek. He let his hand linger longer before dropping his hand to the back of her neck and pulling her into a kiss. When they pulled away, he gave her a slight grin." I wanted to tell you thank you when we were alone." He started. "Not just thank you for paying the bill, but a thank you for supporting me." A breath caught in Zorana's throat before she could say anything in regards to his apparent apology. He shook his head, holding a hand up to stop her from replying. "Let me talk; I'm not finished. My mom's been dictating my money like I'm a teenager, and it's embarrassing. I didn't want to talk to you about it because I didn't want you to think I was a little bitch."
"Why is she controlling your money?" Austin shrugged despite knowing good and well why she started controlling what he spent.
"I have a few guesses, all of them including my dad in some way." Zorana nodded slowly at this as she played with her fingers. "So," Austin continued, "That's why I didn't feel comfortable asking them. My mom gets the money my dad sends me now, but she isn't paying my bills so i have to cover my own ass with whatever she leaves me. That's why I needed your help with the studio sessions." Zorana nodded again at this and cleared her throat.
"Well, why didn't you just tell me that in the beginning?" She sighed, letting the rage from before slowly disperse.
Austin smiled down at her, "I told you that I didn't want to look pathetic in front of you. I'm a grown-ass man; what grown man has his mom controlling his expenses? Plus, I didn't want to throw her under the bus for taking some of my money." Zorana started putting the pieces together. Maybe that was why she could purchase a whole new bathroom aesthetic or a new fancy plate set. She started feeling bad for Austin, realizing his mother was taking the money he got monthly from his father. She felt better now that Austin had cleared everything up but now had a new person to point her frustration to. "And," Austin started again, "About me staying late at the studio, I'm sorry. I'm done with the songs I will perform at the gig. Now I'm just trying to get my performance together with a couple of other guys who performed before. I want to look good in case any Scouters are there." Zorana didn't really care that he was gone all the time, but it was nice to know that he wasn't entertaining other women at the studio when the only reason he was there was because she paid for it. She gave him a half-smile, and Austin turned back to the steering wheel, starting the car.
"When's the gig?" She asked him, watching him put the car in reverse and pull away from his parking space.
"When I get the date for the show, I'll tell you." Zorana pushed her back farther into his black leather car seats. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and looked down at a notification for an email from Renetra. She smiled at the only positive thing beginning to blossom into her life. She was thankful for the distraction as she clicked the link taking her to a list of modules to complete.
"Hopefully, it doesn't conflict with my work schedule now." She snorted. Austin looked over to her phone, flashing an education video on food safety and liquor handling.
"You're going to bartend?"
"Yep, I'm actually kinda excited." Austin hummed at this. He couldn't wrap his head around why she'd need to work if she had so much money sitting in her savings. His fingers slid over the steering wheel down to a more comfortable position. He pressed his foot more on the gas, speeding the distance left to take them home.
~X~
Shuffling quickly to a sitting position, Zorana could feel something wasn't right. She hurried out of the pump up, and half ran into the bathroom down the hall. The moment her eyes caught the sight of the toilet, it was like flood gates crashed, and her dinner came pooling out of her mouth. It was a wonder how she made it to the toilet in time before she was bent over the seat, heaving her life up. The acid in her stomach burned, and the sudden urges scared her as she stayed frozen, puking anything and everything in her digestive system.
Zorana was sure she stayed there, right over the toilet seat, for maybe twenty minutes before her body gave up, finding nothing left in her system to expel. She rolled onto her feet and immediately rinsed her mouth out in the sink. When she was finished, she took in a shaky breath, placing a hand on her stomach. She didn't even have to think hard enough to conclude what upset her stomach. She knew. A quick look at her period tracker, and it was confirmed. The feelings of anxiety and regret crushed her spirit so hard that all she could do was crouch on the bathroom floor and cry.
What had she done?