The security guard widens his eyes when he sees me. "Oh my sweet butthole, is the world going to end today?"
"What are you on about?" Keeping my bag close to me will keep the temperature inside. I don't want it getting messed up. I need to make it delicious as possible... not that I know how because I don't drink blood. Also, get your sweet butthole away from me.
He replies as he looks at his wristwatch, "It's still early; it's still an hour before school starts. And you're here?"
"Please refer me as Sensei."
"Do you think the world's going to end today, too?"
"... Just do your job."
I try to walk away but the old man calls me out, "Sensei." His head tilting, "The office is that way."
"I know. I'm going to visit my clubroom."
"... God, the world is changing too fast."
Is this him trying to pay back when I ligmaball'd him? Man, take a joke. It's nothing personal, ligma joke is the only joke I can deliver well. I've tried why the chicken crosses the road, and it ended with my heart getting run by a truck of silence.
The sun is rising and the cold air runs to hide. The occult clubroom stands silent and normal, although there's a daughter of Dracula hiding inside.
Crash.
That comes from the clubroom.
Well, I don't know if she's really trying to hide. I sigh. Now what?
I reach for the knob. The cross is gleaming. I crouch down to blow on it. Artifact needs humans and humans need them to fend off hell creatures. Just so you know.
When I open the door, there's a sudden sight… but that doesn't really shock me that much.
There, a skeleton head looking at me as it is kneeling on the couch. And of course, with that fluffy white hair pulling out from the skeleton head and the airy dark dress, it's Remelia.
..
We just stare at each other for a minute.
I start, "Remelia, is that you in there?" Just asking to confirm.
But Remelia has another plan. Probably to surprise me… or scare me. She tightens her voice as if to avoid suspicion. "Ah, you're the human I've heard so much from the talented lady of vampires' lineage."
"Remelia."
"No. Don't you have eyes? I'm… I'm Ba'Al and I come here to meet the new queen of the Abyss. Which I already had. Which totally is not me. Bwahaaha. And I have another reason to stay in here. I've been waiting for you, Human! One-who-opens-chaos!"
She points at me with her long red nails.
She continues, "I'm Ba'Al and I come here to order you, human, to release the vampire and let her majesty roam the world as the prophecy had said!" She leans forward, "Or. Else."
I hold up my bag. "I bring you human blood, as promised, Remelia."
Almost immediately, she pulls out the skeleton's head and throws it away. Crash. The mirror and the skeleton head are now broken. And the floor is messy once again. Sigh… We need the cleaning too again.
Remelia shuffles toward me, "Where where where where!" Her hands reach for the bag.
I pull it away, "Hey, chill."
Remelia is sniffing around my body.
"Stop it." I push away her face.
"Still smiling, "Hm, it's coming from that bag. HUMAN BLOOD!" When my palm left her face, her eyes appeared gleaming… and her mouth began dripping saliva.
I sigh, "All right, first. Slurp back your saliva."
She does so.
"And sit down on the couch."
Her legs leave the ground, and whilst still bending and looking at the bag, her body floats and flies to the couch.
Oh wow, she's actually listening to me.
"Er, go to sleep back."
Remelia snaps out and shakes her head. She gives me a glare. "Are you taking advantage of me? How dare you to command me of anything!?"
Worth a try.
I deny, "Well, no, I'm just trying to deal with your impatience."
Remelia shouts, "I'm not acting impatience! I'm acting like I'm hungry."
"Actually, you're making a point."
Remelia crosses her arm as she pouts.
I sit down on another couch.
Remelia takes a glance at the clock hanging on the wall. And then glance at my bag. She looks at me. "I appreciate you coming this early."
"You… really meant that?"
Remelia nods with a smile. "Well, I meant it. Until you give me the blood, that is."
I expect little. This vampire doesn't have the word wholesome in her dictionary.
"All right…" My hand is rubbing at the leather bag. I look at the vampire, who's clearing her throat and still drooling. I hope this is a right thing to do. Sigh. "Remelia, before I give you the blood... I have some questions… and terms."
Remelia frowns. She leans toward me as if ready to attack. "Excuse me? But didn't you say you'd give me a human blood yesterday? That sounds like a reward. And now it sounds like a deal. You promised me a reward, not a deal!"
"There's a reason. I need to know if this is safe."
"Safe?" she repeats.
"Can you drink anyone's blood?"
Remelia throws up her hair. "Yes. Anyone's blood, no discrimination. We vampires devour humans blindly as Lady Justice herself."
All right, that's not really necessary.
"So… like, there's no side effect?"
"Side effect?"
"If you drink blood… will you get your power back?"
"What do you mean by that? I already have the power!"
"All right, I'll rephrase that. Would blood… replenish your energy?"
Remelia stares at me as if I'm retarded. "Are you human retards now? Humans don't eat now? If anything eats, of course, their energy's going to be replenished. There, answered."
Hey, no need to be like that. There's no vampire biology book and I've never met one except you. I just had to know.
"Then… If I am to give you blood, promise me you would do nothing stupid."
Remelia crosses her arm. "Do I look like I can do anything stupid?"
You did just crash this whole place and pretend to be Ba'Al something. I sigh, "Answer the question."
Remelia remains silent as she stares at the ceiling. "I don't do promise."
I pull open the zip and take out the steaming cold packet of blood.
"I promise!" Remelia's eyes twinkle and she drools, evidently. It's just like how Ayane sees ramen.