It was a horrible yet a very lovely sight.
It's pretty weird but yeah, that's basically what I saw.
A happy portrait of a family dyed in red with smile on their faces or maybe I was just hallucinating.
I could say that I was pretty glad that at least they met one last time and more or less resolved their issue.
"Miyano-san, Airi, thank you for being a part of my life..." I pray for both of your souls.
The longer I looked at their cold bodies, the warmer and wetter my eyes got. My vision was getting blurry and my chest was tightening.
"..."
It's no use mourning for them. It already happened and I doubt this was something I could even prevent anyways.
I'm weak. Whatever I do, I will never save anyone. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. I'm starting to feel my sanity slipping away.
This was just too much to process, man. Death, battle, the guilt of killing someone and the world ending in three or two days... Maybe it would be better if I just kill myself right here.
"Let me ask you something. For what reason do you really live for?"
I don't uh, really know...
"Even after all these things that happened to you, you're still living your life aimlessly."
I know, geez. You don't need to remind me.
"Everyone already died and all but you're still a failure with no direction in life... Wait, the life that you lived wasn't something that could pass as a 'life'. It's just a waste."
I know that already...
"To be real with you, you weren't lost. You never were. It's just that you never moved. You're living a stagnant life, being a parasite to people. Now that they're dead, you're left with nothing but your worthless self."
Aren't you the same?
"Huh?"
You are me.
No matter what you say to me, it'll come back to you.
Say, let me ask you the same thing too. For what reason do you really live your life for?
"You will never know unless you ever lived which I don't think you can pull off. You're just existing, that's all. Just a body with brain. A living dead with no life."
Good grief... AHHHHHH!!!!
FUCK IT ALL!!!
I'm sorry Miyano-san but let me thrash around in your kitchen for a bit. I think I'm losing it now for real ー!
Hm? Seems like he preheated some water earlier.
. . .
"Thank you for the drink, old man."
I muttered to the chilling bloody dead geezer beside me as if he's really there talking to me.
After finishing a bit of that coffee I made in his house, I prayed once again for them and went outside.
I laid back myself as I sat down on the front of their door with a cigarette on my hand.
I tried to absorb everything that just happened throughout the night once again.
"..."
I can't.
And, looks like it's dawn already. It's been a very long night. Probably the longest night I ever had in my life.
Should I cry?
Nah, I doubt I could do that anymore.
I felt empty as I watched the sun slowly rise.
Seriously, in the end, what was Miyano-san really trying to say to me? I was completely lost.
"..."
Why did you do all of this for me, Miyano-san?
Rather than getting clarity, I just got more lost.
It's all my fault...
I puffed one more smoke before I closed my eyes, hoping for myself to die in this very place.
"Senpai? What are you doing here?"
My moment was immediately interrupted by a voice of a familiar young man.
"Senpai, you reeks... And have red stuff in your clothes..? Is that blood? Were you in an accident?" He added.
But instead of answering all of his questions, a single tear fell down in my eyes.
"Maeda... You... You're alive." I looked at him, faintly smiling but I was actually happy. Really.
"Yeah? I mean why did you even think I'm dead?"
"Well, there's this world ending stuff going on and I thought you also had your own crazy night knowing that you only have three days left to live."
"'Crazy night'? Seems like you've gotten yourself into one, huh? Hahaha!"
"Yeah, kinda."
"Having blood all over you is proof enough. What happened to you anyways? Did you finally break and started attacking people?"
"Nah, just gotten myself into some accident." Saying that I killed the landlord and his daughter to him might scare him so I lied.
"How about you? You've been holding those plastic bags for a while now." I changed the topic.
"This? I just ransacked people's houses nearby, that's all." Maeda answered nonchalantly.
"Ransacked?! Like you break into other people's houses?!"
"Yeah? I mean no one would have noticed it anyways because you know." Maeda just shrugged playfully with a face saying that the reason was already obvious. "It's mostly food anyways so I think it's fine." He added.
"Oh." I felt like asking him a lot of things but my mind was still on a haywire.
"Anyways, wanna come over in my house for a while? This might be our last time playing." Maeda suddenly changed of topic as he opened the door on his apartment right next to Miyano-san's.
"Yeah..."
"Though to be honest... You should wash yourself first. You stinks."
. . .
I wore a comfortable gray long-sleeved shirt and a pair of sweatpants when I headed out to Maeda's place after taking a bath.
"So uh, should we play some games? Since you're already here anyways, let's kill some time hahaha." Maeda said as he was still on the middle of arranging all the stuff he stole. At this point, I really didn't have the energy to tell him that it's wrong anymore.
I sat on the carpet near his TV as I watched him booted up his PX4, a type of advance gaming console.
A few moments later, he then sat beside me.
"Senpai, it's been a while since we played isn't it?" He started as he picked a game on the screen.
"Yeah, I guess so." I answered passively. "You act relatively calm despite knowing the fact that it's your last day alive." His controller sure do looked clean.
"Not really. It's just that I got used to it. The shock just went through over my head over time. This world ending thing was announced from like about a year ago or something so I just got used to it." Maeda turned his head at me then at the screen again as we conversed.
"I see... What did you just say?" Wait, did I hear it right?
"Uh, the shock went through over my head over time?"
"No, not that."
"The world ending thing announcement from about a year ago?"
"Yeah! You serious about that?!" I exclaimed loudly as we both choose our characters on a fighting game we're playing.
"What do you mean? It's a global news. I should be the one asking you that?"
"I... actually don't know about that..." Yeah. I just knew it yesterday.
"What the heck?! Are you for real?! How come you never knew that?" This was probably the first time I saw him surprised in a while.
"I rarely watch news and I don't have a phone nor even an internet. Besides, I usually just hole up in my place, watch some rented DVD or work at a convenience store late at night."
"That's sad, senpai." His voice has pity and sarcasm in it which I thought was good. No need to make things like this dramatic.
"Aside from me, you really have no friends at all, huh."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"There could have been at least someone out there worried of your well-being, telling you things like this and checking up on you."
That last line of his stabbed a piece in my heart. Especially now that the old man is gone. He's the only that has been looking out for me ever since I came here...
"H-Hey senpai! You're crying! You're crying!" Maeda shouted.
"No hahaha. Just got some dirt in my eyes, sorry." My tears made my visions blurry that before I realized it, I already lost against Maeda in the game.
"You know what senpai, I'm also on the same boat as you." Maeda's eyes were still focused on the screen but there's a sudden difference of tone in his voice.
"Like you, I also have no friends though you could have realized it by now. It's not like I never told you about it before anyways. To be honest, if I were given a chance to redo my life, I would rather die than to suffer all over again. I doubt I have what it takes to change what could have happened. I'm weak... I wish I was as strong as you." He added.
Same, boy. I wish I was really as strong as the image of myself in your head.
To be honest, I actually went weak overtime. It was I who was envious of how strong of a kid Maeda is.
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . .
Takeru Maeda.
He's currently in his last year in high school but we met around two years ago or maybe earlier than that, I don't know.
He looks average, talks average and thinks average now and even before. He's literally the plainest person I've ever met.
He wears thick-framed glasses and have that kinda bowl cut though his hair eventually thickens and became almost similar to mine but a bit shorter.
The first time we met was actually quite a simple story.
It was a rainy summer before I even met Miyano-san and his daughter, Airi. Like what a usual homeless person does, I took shelter under a waiting shed not that far from a convenience store.
From there, I met Maeda who's also a bit wet from the sudden downpour and was currently doing the same thing I was doing.
Few minutes had pass but the rain was yet to show signs of stopping anytime soon.
Being stuck with him in there for a while made me noticed things about him so I began asking.
"Where's your bag?"
"..."
"Silence, huh..." Ahh, so embarrassing.
Well, Maeda really was an unsociable guy before.
Few minutes of awkward stillness went by before the rain stopped. It's just me who's feeling awkward though.
The moment that the downpour halted, Maeda immediately stepped away from the shed we're in and ran away. He even tripped not that far away from here haha. Odd kid.
Days passed and I thought I would never meet him again but I was wrong. This time, not only he was missing his bag again, his face even had a bruise in it.
This story happened a few months later after that encounter. Maybe around autumn or something, I don't know.
I was currently sleeping on a bench in the park on a cozy afternoon back then. Things changed when I suddenly heard Maeda screaming as he ran towards the direction where I was. It really scared the shit out of me because that scream would even wake up the dead. That's just how unpleasant it was.
As he ran though, he tripped but the the bruise on his face were already there before that happened. I could say that because even from a distance, you could already tell he's hurt.
Out of pity, I approached him.
"You alright, man?"
However, when I said that, he started crying so I tried to help him to get up at least.
I began panicking and checked the pouch in my worn-out homeless man coat. I then took whatever were remaining in it to buy him something that was available that time on a nearby vending machine. I thought it's my fault that he cried so I was really scared. "What if he reports me to the police?" I thought.
When I went back, he was still there, staring in front of the river where the sun goes down. To surprise him and make him snap from whatever he's thinking, I put the drink on his cheeks. It was effective.
"You alright, man?" I asked once again. "Here. My treat."
"..."
"Oh. Fine haha. Not much of a talker, aren't we?"
Maeda never spoke but he just took the drink and immediately consumed it. He looked very angry and frustrated that time.
That's why when he started speaking, it took me by surprise.
"To be honest, I wish I was as free like you." He said.
"Ehh, I don't think you should use me as an inspiration in life." I jokingly replied.
"Well, unlike me, you seem to be enjoying life with nothing to hold you back. You're living a life of your own. Meanwhile, I..."
Maeda was hesitant whether to speak or not but he proceeded anyways.
"I'm always getting bullied a-and..." Maeda was shaking that he lost his grip on the can that I got for him. He then flicked his glasses to calm himself down and continued but the shakiness in his voice was still there.
"My parents doesn't really care about me as their child. All they only think of is university this, grades that. No one really cares about me."
That's, uh, heavy..?
"H-Hey, don't cry!"
Sorry but that canned drink were the last of my money so I doubt I could still buy you so calm down already.
"Ah, eh. Sorry... This doesn't concern you anyways. Sorry for suddenly venting on you."
"Ah, eh. It's all cool. By the way, don't you have some friends or something?"
"None."
"I see..."
Yeah, thought so. He wouldn't be crying here if he does have some pals.
All of a sudden, a group of high school boys from afar suddenly shouted at us.
"Maeda!!! Hey!!!"
This very moment was where I learned of Maeda's name and something more sinister that he hasn't told me yet.