As they rushed about the mall, they managed to obtain the things Ezra needed for school, as well as a new phone, complete with all the necessary accessories. They had spent quite a bit of time in the electronics store with Ezra, finding out the specs on each laptop and desktop before making their choices, but not enough that they would be out of time. By the time he finished picking out accessories as seriously as someone picking a wife, they were out of time.
They hurried him into the car, with sales clerks helping to hold all of the purchases from the electronic store. For their trouble, Alex tipped them handsomely. He hopped into the car and drove off speedily. Theia checked her phone and saw that it was just eight minutes past one. She sighed in relief.
"Alex, it's only a few minutes past one."
He reduced his driving speed a bit, relieved that he didn't have to risk getting a speeding ticket. Hoping to distract Ezra from whatever they were speaking about, he said,
"Oh, okay. Then we still have time. Show Ezra the furniture store site in the meantime. Let him pick out the furnishings for his room."
It was a good call. Ezra had just been about to ask them what they were speaking about when Theia pulled out her tablet, looking up the site. She pulled him closer to her to look.
"First, we should probably get you a bigger bed."
Thinking of the king-sized bed he saw in the room, Ezra shook his head at her.
"...the size of the bed is fine." He hesitated.
Theia, noticing his brief hesitation, turned to him. "What's wrong? If it's not the size, then tell me. It doesn't make sense for you to think you have to put up with something just because you're grateful. We are not the Duprees. Your requests won't bother us, and we certainly don't want you to think you always have to be overly considerate to avoid causing us trouble. The great thing about family is that you can freely trouble them. You can openly tell them your desires and they will do their best to meet them, even if they can only meet them halfway.
It's okay to be a little more selfish. You don't always have to be "the good kid" or "the perfect child". You can just be yourself, especially at home. Keeping up a constant mask must be tiring. "
Ezra gulped. Her words echoed in his mind for a few moments, each echo cracking the veneer he encased himself with. Ahhh, he didn't want to cry anymore. He felt as though for the past 16 hours, he had probably cried more than he had in years. Probably not since his grandparents had died. He was really struggling to hold it in. How long had it been since someone hadn't expected perfection from him?
Even with his grandparents around, they loved and encouraged him, but his par---the Duprees—still expected a certain level of it. The love his grandparents had for him couldn't shelter him from those expectations. While they loved him, to them, those were his parents. He was required to do as they said, so even if he was not with them, his grandparents still enforced what they said.
He had thought that that was the best anyone could hope for, but the girl sitting beside him said that family is a place where you don't need to be perfect. You just need to be yourself. He didn't have to act like everything was okay around them.
He didn't need to hide the loneliness he felt, even among the many students in school. He didn't need to hide his despair at never being able to truly connect with anyone. He didn't need to hide the pain he buried deep down whenever he wondered if he would be truly loved by anyone for who he really was. Without having to put on an image of perfection.
He always felt like there was a veil of glass between him and the people around him. Even at his school. He was quite popular there due to his consistently good grades, his friendliness, and his looks. It wasn't even as though he had no friends per se. He was polite and friendly to everyone, but he knew that there wasn't any deep, abiding friendship with anyone. It was like being a jack of all trades, but master of none. He got along well with everyone, but he wasn't particularly close to anyone. He had even been asked out a number of times, but none of the girls asking him out really wanted to date him. To him, it felt like they simply liked how he looked and the fact that he was quite popular on his campus.
None of them even tried to see him, the real him, so he had never had a girlfriend either. Instead, it constantly felt like he was on the outside looking in. As if he was looking at a play, completely uninvolved in the process.
Theia saw his eyes swimming, and decided to leave the topic alone for now. She didn't expect to undo all the damage her family had done to him in just a few hours. That was ridiculous and completely unrealistic. She just wanted him to begin to understand the way things should be. The way he was now reminded her quite a bit of how Alex had been when they first met. Constantly wearing a persona and unable to truly understand the way family should be. It had taken him a while to adapt to having a family member who would simply love him for who he was.
The difference was that he could have let his guard down with Jared and Alessia. From what she heard from Alex, he hadn't particularly had anyone besides his cousin, and that cousin had betrayed him. Then again, from what he said last night, while he had trusted his cousin, he felt as though he couldn't be himself around him. So maybe he had never had anyone with whom he could be himself.
She gently hugged him, silently thanking her mother for the love and care she had shown her. The effort she had put into showing Theia how much she was loved and the way she had raised her. Without it, she may have been like they were. If they were all this way, so broken, who would help them?