How do I begin my story? Ah, yes. I am fucking dying. Yup, staring at the sky which was perfect and blue and honestly a bit insulting. It just seemed like a beautiful normal day with birds chirping and children laughing and you just wouldn't expect anything bad to happen to you. And unfortunately it did when an old truck driver hits me because he wasn't paying attention.
Now here I am lying on the road bleeding, suffering and spewing blood out of my mouth as everything seems to get whiter and then it does. Pure whiteness. I guess this is death. Just whiteness as far as the eye could see. I stood up. Well, I am not really standing up as I no longer have any feet and I have no hands. It took me while to realise I am now nothing but a white misty figure. Then a bright light appears in front of me. It was small but it seemed to get bigger and bigger. It was beautiful, it was amazing, it was a hand.
Wait, a hand. It's a fucking giant hand! And it grabs me and drags me away at the speed of light.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Oh stop shouting already!" A voice suddenly shouts. And I crash into another pure white room. "Ugh, what the fuck! That fucking hur... wait, it doesn't hurt."
"Of course it doesn't hurt anymore you're dead and you don't have a body anymore." The mysterious figure in front of me said. He, well I guess its a he because the voice sounded like a guy, he was one of the weirdest thing I have seen by far. He was just a white figure from top to bottom. and he had no face except a mouth and two black dots which were his eyes. He was like a pure white google street view man with the added smiley face emoji as his face.
"Hi, so can you tell me your name?" The white figure asked. "I'm Manny and who are you and where the fuck am I?"
"First of all you need to chill and yes, you're dead. You got hit by a truck remember?" The white figure said.
"Yeah. I remember. So now what? Is this heaven?"
"Heaven? Pfft. No this is just an alternate place. A space between universes where higher beings like me exist."
"Higher beings? Wait, a you a god?"
"Oh yay, you catch on quick. Yes, I'm a what you humans call a God. and its a big 'G' God not one of those lame small 'g' gods. I am a literal God."
"Ok? Then who are you?" I asked while also feeling a bit scared now.
"Oh how rude of me I haven't told you my name yet. My name is @$^#^%." A bunch of garbled up gibberish sounds came out of his mouth.
"Huh?"
"Right, you humans can't comprehend our names. Hmm I guess I should make a name that you can call me in. How about Randy. Yes, that's not really a bad name. From now on you can call me Randy!"