CHENG RU SHI'S POV
Keeping my head light is hard to achieve the very moment I heard Shing-er spell out another man's name. It's hard to believe yet I am forcing myself to ignore it. It's not that I don't want him to meet someone else but it's the first time I hear him say that name. He always spout only his dog and that surprise me when it was not the dog he loved most. Everytime he has a time, he keeps on mumbling Soffee, Soffee, Soffee. To be honest, it sounds irritating at most but I couldn't help it, whenever his dog is the topic he always wear those pampered-melting face that sometimes I forgot my anger. He is the most valued living person to me. My most precious treasure. He is the only one I want but the heck, that dog always took my spot.
Shing-er is still the same as before. Loving and sweet. Caring and gentle. He's one of a kind. The kind that you wanted to protect most. It's just that things turn out the way I don't expected it. Even i myself was shock when I say those words to him. I couldn't control it. I couldn't help but get frustrated. I'm fine when it's his dog since im used to it but he just mumbled it like it was nothing. Like... Yes, I forgot, I am only his big brother. I am not his lover. Why the heck do I have to make things worst if we don't have that kind of relationship. I even spout like men shan't be together like what the hell is wrong with me? ofcourse i want to be with him. ONLY HIM. That I am willing to break the God's rule just to be with my Shing-er.
I look at him with a downfall eyes. I know it's my fault that I shouted at him. I know I was out of my mind. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to make peace with him. It hurts me seeing him sad without giving him a proper reason.
I keep on driving even if my mind is unfocused. I shouldn't have acted that way. It's feels like I'm making a transparent wall for us. A wall that hinder us. A wall that separate us. If only Shing-er knows my affection towards him. If only he knows my love is not just being a big brother to him, will he be willing to stay with me? Will he stays as more that just a big brother to me? Will he still accept me? Or will he turn his back and leave me like before without a warning? Things like that don't feel right anymore. I don't want to part with him. I don't want to be far away from him. I want him to get close to me more. To be just by my side. I want him to be mine.
When we reached Shing-er's apartment, I took the initiative to talk to him right before he tried to unbuckled himself. I don't want to be a coward just because I couldn't keep him by my side. I cannot be defeated with some random stranger out there.
"Shing-er, I... I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't meant it in a different way.. It's just that--"
I saw him struggling to unbuckled the seatbelt but he only hand-sign me to stop. I didn't retract. I was rather drown deeper and deeper to this crazy situation.
"It's fine Ru Shi. I understand. I was just startled that's all. I know you didn't meant to so there's nothing else to talk about. I'm gonna head out first. Follow inside okay?"
Shing-er's voice seems distant and low. There's a hint of sadness coming. I got confused but later I realize that he must be taking it to heart. I didn't mean to show him that side of me. I didn't mean to scare him that way. I just couldn't control it when it comes to another men.
When he finally out if the car, I saw him turn around and took a glance at me with an empty eyes before he head straight to his apartment. I felt dumbfounded. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. It was like I was stuck inside with nothing else but regret.
"I'm sorry Shing-er"
I stayed in my car for about an hour before I decided to turn it over and leave. I don't want to make things hard specially that Uncle Ben is inside. He'll going to nag me for sure for making Shing-er sad. Even if I wanted to settle it right now, if Shing-er is not willing to talk then I'll just have to wait for him to calm down. It's better for us to be light headed first before meeting up.
As I was driving my way home. My phone suddenly vibrated. A message popped up on it. It's coming from my secretary. I tap my phone as I read her message.
Secretary Lyn: Sir, everything is settled. We'll only waiting for your approval
I frown as I was thinking. Approval. Yes, I remember. I immediately swift my path all the way to the company. There's still something I must settled with before you Shing-er. It's quite important. Driving my way through I replied to her:
;Wait for me. I'll be there
I don't want to missed this change. I spent my entire life for it. I don't want it to fail. I want to know the truth before anyone else, specially to my Shing-er. He will sure be surprised with it. I'm sure. And when that time comes, I'll make you mine, my Shing-er.