The next person to arrive was Liam and he practically dragged himself into the room before flopping on the single seat couch with a muttered "morning"
"Morning Liam" Jamie greeted "you uh looking tired their buddy, long night?"
"You can say that" he muttered.
Jamie and Stan shared an amused look with the latter commenting "so I heard."
This got the man's attention as he paused rubbing his face to scrutinize them "what's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh nothing much just-" Stan began.
Jamie finished with "does Amelia scream that loud every time you guys do it or was last night special?"
Liam froze "you heard?"
"Don't worry I didn't hear everything, I was only passing by your door when I heard Amelia screaming like a banshee."
Liam covered his face with a long suffering groan "nooo~"
"You know that does bring up a question. If Jamie could hear you from the hall outside your door then how did your neighbor feel?"
Pause.
*KRAKOOOM*
"Oh my God" Liam realized with dawning horror "I didn't even think of that."
And who was Liam and Amelia's neighbor?
The sudden sound of stomping came from the adjacent room heading to the kitchen and the sound of voices could be heard over the din of rain.
"Good morning Kendall" Ezraphel greeted.
"Jesus Kendall you look terrible, did you stay up all night?"
Stan felt he wasn't the only one that winced at the brief pause and especially at what came after.
*SMAKOOOM*
Some people might say that it was a coincidence that the hit landed in time with the thunder but the three men would beg to differ.
"KENDALL!?"
"OW! What the hell was that for!?"
"For keeping me up all night with your banshee screams you fucking nympho!"
"Man, Kendall is pissed~" Stan muttered with a small grin as he enjoyed the chaos.
"Oh shit you heard that?"
"YES!"
"Oops."
"Next time you plan to fuck, use a gag!"
"Noted…bitch."
The footsteps then somehow sounded again and before long Kendall entered looking like a pissed off T-800 as she scanned the room until she locked on to her target. You can almost hear the Terminator theme playing as she stomped towards Liam who looked about ready to meet his maker as John Connor in the second movie…that is not at all.
"You…"
"I-in my defense Amelia literally jumped me from out of nowhere while I was minding my own business."
Stan and Jamie shared another look with the message passing between them.
"Wow throwing his fiancée under the bus."
"With no hesitation."
Not the most chivalrous of moves but it succeeded in at least halting Kendall for the time being. Meanwhile Liam's choice of seating proved to be as fortuitous for Jamie and Stan as it was convenient since it allowed them to view the proceedings from a vantage point but now though they faced a moral dilemma. While they were in the perfect position to witness what should be an entertaining distraction it could very well be the perfect view to a future assault case in court and neither men wanted to take the stand in that trial.
Luckily like the proverbial ray of hope shining from the cloudy sky God seemed to be smiling down upon Liam today for Kendall decided to spare him instead gesturing with a jerk of her head "move."
He didn't need to be told twice and in no time was planting his butt in the middle of the three-seater between Jamie and Stan.
Kendall plopped down in a similar vain to Liam earlier, tired and stressed out from a lack of sleep.
Glaring at the man sitting adjacent to her Kendall spoke "what the hell was that last night?"
"Like I said…" he trailed off a bit "why didn't you say anything we could have stopped or kept it down."
If anything his words caused her glare to intensify "I did but for some reason neither of you heard me."
'Might be because of the screaming' Stan thought to say but knew better than to draw attention to himself.
"You know I would have expected this kind of crap from Stan and Ezraphel since this is their first time sleeping out but not you and Amelia."
With a statement like that there was no way Stan could remain silent.
"Don't lump me and Ez with these savages, we are far more civilized lovers" he spoke in a posh accent.
Says the man with the full knowledge that the order in which he penetrated his girlfriend last night (and earlier that morning) was ass-mouth-vag.
"Wait, wait why would you think Stan and Ezraphel would have that problem?" asked Jamie.
That got him looks with Kendall raising an eyebrow "you mean you haven't figured it out?"
"Figured what out?" seeing the looks he getting he he frowned "why are you all looking at me like that for?"
"Jamie" Liam began "Ezraphel is like Amelia's long lost sister."
"Yo, I don't appreciate you guys talking about my girlfriend like that" Stan interrupted with a frown "only I'm allowed to do that: he then turned to his best friend with a straight face "so yeah Ezraphel is like a Super! pervert. In fact I'd go so far as to say that she makes Amelia look like a celibate nun from a convent."
"Uh, what did I just walk into?"
All eyes turned to Kendrick who had just entered the room looking like a deer caught in headlights.
"They were just explaining to me how Ezraphel is Amelia 2.0."
Kendrick gave him a confused look "you mean you didn't know?"
"And you did?"
"Well duh, she wasn't exactly being subtle with how blatantly suggestive she is in literally everything she does" Kendall added.
"Yeah how did you not notice that?" Liam questioned.
"I figured that was just part of her culture and living with Stan for almost a year."
Even Stan was looking at him in disbelief now "did you not see the apron she wore?"
"Well yeah, but I've worn weird and outlandish shit for the lols. That doesn't say anything about me personally."
The conversation continued for a few more minutes with jokes mostly at Jamie and Stan's expense until it tapered off into more depressing topics.
"I'm starting to think we're not gonna be able to make the field today" Kendrick noted as he looked out the nearby window.
"We still have time" Stanley reiterated "plus the arena is indoors."
"Indoors or not there's no way I'm going out in that" Kendall commented.
"It's not so bad" Jamie commented.
"I'm not going to take the word of a man who thought actual storm chasing would make for a great video."
"But it did make a great video" he countered.
"That it did" Stan agreed and they fist bumped.
Liam looked at the two of them and spoke "you know Jamie sometimes I forget you're a legitimate Florida Man."
Before anyone could comment on this Amelia sashayed into the room plopped herself on Liam's lap and gave him a very not-chaste kiss that went on for a whole minute before she separated to apparently make the announcement she came here to make in the first place.
"Breakfast is ready~" she smiled before getting to her feet and sashayed out the way she came.
For a while they watched her go then everyone turned to Liam who looked just as shocked and confused about what just occurred as everyone else.
Jamie was the first to break the silence "well…"
But before he could Liam held up a hand "don't…let's just go. I am too hungry to deal with this."
"Fair enough."
And so the four friends journeyed into the dining room and were once more flabbergasted by what they saw. On the dining room table was an assortment of breakfast items presented in such a way that it reminded him of a buffet. You got sausage, bacon, two styles of eggs, cheese omelets, pancakes stacked with butter on top, chocolate chip waffles, toast, crispy roast potatoes, hash browns, tomatoes, baked beans, mushrooms, coffee, tea, orange juice and milk.
"Ta da~" Amelia beamed while doing a fairly accurate representation of that Will Smith 'presentation' meme "introducing Ezraphel and Amelia's English v. American Breakfast Platter!"
"Alright calm down Bob Kane we all know Ez did the actual cooking."
"Well you can kiss my phat freckled ass troll man because I actually did prepare some of the food you see here."
At that almost everyone's eyes started roaming the table searching for literally anything that less than perfection but finding none Kendrick volunteered to voice their collective response to that claim.
"Bullshit."
"Alright that's enough" Ezraphel interrupted "we made this for you all to eat not stare."
"Yeah this isn't a pretentious art exhibit" Amelia grinned swinging an arm around Liam's waist "pull up a chair and get to eating."
"Alright babe" Liam spoke giving her a peck on the cheek that just made her grin wider before the couple took a seat next to each other.
"I for one trust that Ezraphel wouldn't allow Amelia to fuck up the food" Stan announced before taking his seat.
"And I have confidence in Stan's confidence" Jamie followed while taking his seat "after all I wouldn't want Amelia's terrible cooking to upset my delicate pallet."
"You're the last person I want to hear that from Jamie" Kendall grumbled.
While everyone took their seats Ezraphel announced "I have to use the ladies room but don't let my absence stop you from enjoying the meal. Be right back."
No one thought much of Ezraphel's departure including Stan who went ahead and started piling various items on his plate about to make a breakfast sandwich to go with his milk. Amelia too chose milk as her morning beverage of choice which stood out to him a little since in all the times he can remember Amelia was more a fan of coffee. Not in the way like those caffeine addicts who couldn't even function properly in the morning without their daily fix but in the sense that unless there was cereal Amelia wasn't touching the milk.
Stan felt the same way until Ezraphel started forcing the stuff on him at nearly every turn.
'Huh…'
It really shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did but Ezraphel's suspicious behavior combined with Amelia's odd cheerfulness raised his hackles somewhat. Plus the satisfied expression she made when drinking the stuff raised a red flag. Stanley himself couldn't find anything particularly different about the milk from how it normally was.
Stanley paused 'what the fuck is normal anyway?'
She couldn't have….could she?
'We all drank milk yesterday.'
And even then so what if she decided to do something that would spice up Amelia and Liam's sex life? As long as it was only that then it can be forgiven though obviously he would need to have a talk with her about pulling a stunt like that.
"Hmm" he hummed to himself as he noticed that the heavy rainfall had let up somewhat.
A few short minutes later Ezraphel returned taking a seat by his side and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"So how is everyone enjoying the meal?"
As expected she received praised from everyone expressed in varying degrees of exuberance including Stanley himself for which her smile brightened considerably.
"Wonderful" as Ezraphel began to enjoy the fruits of most of her labor she went and voiced an observation "it seems the rain is finally relenting."
"Finally" Stanley muttered receiving a pout from her in turn.
"Good, maybe if it stops before our appointment we can get this show on the road" Kendall commented.
"The weather reports said that it would rain all day basically" Liam spoke causing Ezraphel to look at him with concern.
"It did?"
"Yeah and to be honest I was going to talk to you guys about canceling the whole thing after breakfast."
"Are you out of your damn mind?" Kendrick exclaimed "I didn't come all the way out here to just not play."
"Agreed" Jamie added.
"And here I thought we all got together because we enjoy each other's company" Liam spoke dryly.
"Well you know what they say about assumptions" Kendall commented.
"Yeah, no offense to you all but I've got better things to do than slumming it in an airbnb with you assholes" Stanley added.
Kendrick rolled his eyes "oh please, you of all people need to touch grass more often."
"Nowadays I'm touching something much better thank you very much."
A round of "oohs" went around following that but Kendrick was hardly fazed.
"So the little boy gets a girlfriend and suddenly thinks he's a man?"
"Not that I need one to validate my self-worth but I mean come on…" he trailed off gesturing to Ezraphel.
Kendrick did take another gander at the woman only to avert his gaze when she gave him a brilliant smile.
"Thought you said that relationships were a scam?"
"I said modern marriages are a scam" he clarified "relationships aren't often worth investing in because of uncertainty but with Ezraphel there is none. I can't imagine myself waking up one day feeling regret about being with her and I'm pretty sure she feels the same...though I could be wrong-"
"Nope" Ezraphel interrupted having been chewing prior before daintily wiping her lips and savagely assaulting Stanley's known with a deep wet kiss that had the man struggling.
"Really?" Kendall sighed "right now?"
"Damn" Jamie whistled before patting Kendrick on the back "this is one of those times where you need to quit while you're ahead buddy."
Begrudgingly Kendrick nodded "alright, alright you made your point."
Unfortunately his words seem to fall on deaf ears and the impromptu makeout continued giving someone else ideas.
"Hmm~ I'll have what she's having" Amelia groaned sultrily while eyeing her fiancé.
Liam for his part did not seem very enthused with the idea and was looking around nervously for aid "uh..."
Luckily Kendall came to his rescue "I swear to God Amelia you start making out beside me and I will shank you with my fork" and capped off by holding up said fork.
Amelia had no choice but to surrender "okay noted."
And with that Kendall turned her ire to the originators of this mess "WOULD YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF!"
Ezraphel finally separated from Stanley who gasped and spent several seconds taking in deep lung full of air "god…dammit…Ez" he panted.
The comical sight had Kendrick laughing "I take back what I said you definitely don't need to touch grass with Ezraphel around."
"Fuck…you…"
Everyone joined in on laughing at Stanley's expense.