"What is the meaning of this… vulgar display!" shrieked Seekvaira Agares as her eyes were overwhelmed by the sight of my glorious form and my stacked harem… er Peerage.
After all, like a good gym bro I doused my peeps' body pasta in premium sauzle, and the formerly toneless ladies of my harem and now sporting some thicc assets and thighs capable of saving lives.
I'd pumped my own height up to two meters (six feet six inches), as I'd been there and done that with the whole ten foot tall behemoth and someday I might want to take a ride on a submarine without having to strip naked, turn sideways, and shimmy to get inside. Don't know why, but it could happen and I am not going through that trauma again.
Though Diodora had the normal anime boy bitch physique, I'd corrected that since my reincarnation and now stood before all the interested members of Devil Society looking like an unholy Heracles dangling the real Mjolnir between my thighs.
"Hey Seeky-bear!" I shouted with a closed eye smile that made me look totally unthreatening.
"Do you think you can intimidate me with your nudity and thuggish expression?" the wealthy and gorgeous heiress shouted, "I'm not some unambitious wallflower you can scare by flashing your cock and bad intentions."
Do I have resting bad guy face? I guess we learn something new every day.
"What are we fighting about right now?" I asked my opponent with a serious expression, "I am pretty sure we aren't supposed to throw down till volume five. Did I pull a Goku and miss my kids growing up into losers while I was busy training?"
"How dare you!" Seekvaira clenched her fist in rage and her Peerage, "After the insults you levied against DumGam you dare to ask why we are here today? It is a matter of honor you feckless cur."
"Feckless?" I growled, "I don't care that Mini Dio was writing alligator checks that his hummingbird ass couldn't cash. I'm Big Daddy Dio, and I got more beef than you can take, girl. So why don't you do yourself a favor and not get your ass whooped over your hobby."
"Hobby!" Seekvaira clasped her metaphorical pearls, "Mecha isn't a hobby! It's a way of life! A way of life you continue to insult with your every breath and today that ends!"
I licked the air with my tongue and nodded my head, "Irony truly is delicious. Girl, you have barely dipped your feet into mecha, where as I was born to it, molded by it, by the time I was a man I had mastered power armor, drones, AI, cybernetics and so much more! You think giant robots are the entirety of mecha life! Bitch please! Que the match because this fight is personal now!"
"It was always personal!" Seekvaira yelled as the buzzer went off signaling the end of the pre fight banter and the start of the good violence.
As Seekvaira's peerage got into battle formation, my own did jack shit. I had them deeply hypnotized because they were barely able to function with the whole naked before all eyes thing we had going on.
Not that I needed them.
I held out my hand and channeled my borderline ultimate class magic into projecting my Noble Phantasm. Over the course of my life I had used it so many times that the magic was effortless even if costly as I projected a long hammer with an aggressive rectangular head sheathed in a Halo Gravity hammer fused seamlessly by the Malacath, the gods of Metal, and Jesus Christ. Volendrung, the Hammer of Might filled my hand once more, and I knew the fight was already won.
I leapt alone into the center of their formation and brought my hammer down in an earth shattering strike that generated a massive explosion that threw Seekvaira and her peerage to the ground.
An agile pack of monkeys, they rolled and got up swiftly and despite the shock and awe, Seekvaira grinned as she spread her hands and pushed out her temporal magic forming a sphere around us where time moved sixty times faster.
"You fool!" Seekvaira shouted, "Your Peerage won't be able to get to you in time to save you!"
With a gesture I added a barrier to her sphere, preventing anyone from leaving her Thunderdome by physical means.
"All you've done." I chuckled, "Is speed up the ass kicking I am about to give you." I put my hammer over my shoulder and smiled, "After all, it's not me trapped in here with all of you. It's all of you who are trapped in here with me."
"I knew you were a comic book nerd. You totally stole that line from Rorschach!" one of her Peerage members shouted in outrage.
"Oh my." I laughed, "You outed me. Whatever will I do?"
Despite looking at the offender I blitzed one of Seekvaira's Pawns and smacked him in the face with the Hammer of Might. He was magically yanked out of the Rating Game Arena before the damage completely snapped his neck, but the message of the sudden and brutal one shot was received loud and clear.
With a nod from their King, Seekvaira's Bishops began firing magic spells at me that I shielded with ease. The OG Dio was a dab hand at barrier magic and Absorption plus barriers is a big win against pretty much everything outside of a complete brute power mismatch, and since I have the absolute advantage in total accumulated Devil energy on account of genetics and the Absorption of Ophis's Snake slowly pushing me into Ultimate class, Seekviara and her Peerage stood no chance in a magic shoot out with me.
Of course the girl isn't so daft as to think she could put a defensive specialist like me down when she is a support type combatant, so she had her knights approaching me in a pincer attack. It was smart fighting, but I could fend off the magic flailing of her minions with one hand and reach out with the Hammer of Might in the other while activating the gravity controlling feature of my Noble Phantasm.
With a mighty yank I pulled the Knight to my right and sent her flying into the Knight to my left. Moving faster than either could compete with while tanking a few magic attacks from Seek's Bishops, I smacked them with an exploding golf swing that retired both Knights from the match.
From the dust cloud emerged my hammer in an explosion of speed generated by my throw, decommissioning one Bishop and with the loss of my hammer Seekvaira's Pawns and Rooks came in to overwhelm me. I leapt into the air with my hand outstretched and Volendrung returned to my as I came down for a glorious ground slam that retired her Pawns and put her Rooks on their asses.
With a hammer toss to one and a soccer kick to the other the beautiful young Devil heiress was down to two servants left.
Volendrung returned to my hand once more and I did a little dance to music only I could hear and finished with another smile at Seekvaira, her cowering Bishop, and her unphased pretty boy butler Queen.
"I surrender." She stopped the battle just like that.
"It's been good, Seeky-bear, and it's been real, but it ain't been real good, girl." I used my father's famous break up line on the stunned girl.
Volendrung dematerialized after a neat little flourish and I clapped a hand on the heiress's shoulder.
"Hit me up if you want to bang or build machines." I told her, "Or both. I am never one to turn down some post-coital production."
With that I turned my best feature away from the blushing young woman and gave her a look at my manly back and ass as I returned to my peerage after what felt like only a few heartbeats away from them.
"Let's go get some clothes!" I cheered.
Beating Seeky-bear may not be big money considering that she never wins a rating game in the source material, but soloing her and her peerage put me in just the right mood to feel like I am not a total bitch anymore.
Still nowhere near God Emperor of Devilkind, but not a bitch anymore. And that is a big win.