I had been thinking about Lorenzo Orlando all week.
I had read books, visited art galleries, attended a meeting on civil rights, but everything seemed insignificant and emotionless.
Only when I thought of Lorenzo, of what had I said to him, did I feel alive and thrilled again.
It was truly unbelievable!
I had been tempted to ask Maya to take me across the river, but I hadn't dared to ask her openly.
Inside, I was still aware of the wrong I had done and the danger I had run. Yet it was precisely that what had kept me alive in those days.
It was enough for me to close my eyes to feel Lorenzo's warm, deep, slightly hoarse voice.
Not to mention his messy brown hair that made me want to run my fingers through it.
Or his slightly unkempt beard.
I had never touched a man. Not even my father or brother.
Part of me wanted to caress his face to experience what it felt like to touch that rough and unshaven hair.
Oh God, to touch him ...
It took my breath away every time I thought about it.
The idea excited me and terrified me at the same time.
Touching an Orlando was forbidden!
I still felt I could feel the warmth of his hand on my arm.
Yet, I would have paid to experience that feeling again.
And his eyes ...
Oh God, Ginevra, calm down!
"Ginevra, do you want to cut yourself? What on earth are you thinking about? "snapped Maya, distracting me from my thoughts.
"Nothing at all," I hastily responded while continuing to slice the onions.
"I don't believe you."
"I was thinking about what to prepare for you. I hope you like pasta with seitan ragout, " I replied promptly, putting the onion, the celery and carrots to fry.
"I will find out soon, but I trust in you. You're a great cook, although I find it shameful that your parents don't have a maid to help you with these jobs. "
"My father was clear: until I stop with my vegetarian diet and with this obsession for civil rights, I will remain segregated in this area and I will have to do chores by myself. By now I have become an expert housewife. "
"Are you vacuuming too?" Maya asked me in disgust.
"Yup. I cook, wash, iron and make the bed myself. "
"Wow! I could never! They treat you like a slave! "
"Don't talk nonsense. I have become independent and don't do anything that most people don't do every day. Not everyone can afford a staff to do the work for you, you know? "
"Is that okay with you?"
"Yes," I murmured down in the dumps. Actually, I wasn't interested in having to clean the house or cook for myself. What made me feel bad was that my family no longer wanted me, did not accept my diversity, and showed no interest in me.
Those few times that I was with my family were always unpleasant because they talked about me, they didn't let me talk and worse, they refused to ask the chef to prepare some food for me.
I often felt alone and for almost three years now I had been excluded and treated without respect.
Even my move to that annex area was yet another attempt to isolate myself to avoid being part of their family life.
Even my sister Rosa avoided me and, since she had gotten married, she had also stopped calling me.
I had never had a good relationship with my brother Fernando, and I had never cared about the distance he had put between us. Since he was the eldest son, ten years older than me and the direct heir of Daddy's empire, he thought he could order anybody around.
'Listen, Lucky called me. He has your pass. Apparently, he tried to go to Bridge with his friends, but they told him the card is registered and that without you he could not enter. He asked me if tonight we would like to go back with him and a friend of his he would like to introduce to you. He showed me a picture of him. He is handsome! Maybe something could happen, don't you think? "
I thought of Lorenzo.
I would never have admitted it, but I had a crazy need to see him again.
"Okay," I said, leaving Maya stunned.
"Seriously? I mean, I'm glad, but I was convinced that you were not interested in learning more about the Bridge and the Orlandos after what happened last Saturday. "
"I need a change of pace."
"Once, when you needed a change of pace, you would ask me to go to my grandfather's cottage in the mountains. Now you're telling me you want to go back to the wolf's lair. I guess I passed on to you my craziness of doing forbidden things. "
"Maybe," I smiled cheerfully.