Frankel keep his head low after what I said, and eventually left without saying anything to us.
"That insolent brat!"
"Sir Dalton, you must watch what your mouth say. Frankel is still my brother and he is also the Emperor's son. You must not talk ill about him if you don't want me to resent you."
Sir Dalton bowed and said, "My apologies, Your Highness."
"Promise me that you will not badmouth him."
"I promise, Your Highness."
The people serving His Majesty, Her Majesty and the palace see me as a princess, and the Emperor's child. But they do not see Frankel that way. They just see him as the child of a mistress, and an unofficial child.
We went to the Empress' chambers, and enter the drawing room where my mother is waiting for me. She stood up as soon as she saw me and hugged me.
"Have a seat, my daughter."
I sat across her. I gave the flower that I brought with me. Her eyes twinkled in the sight of it and she smiled sweetly to me.
"Did you make it?"
I nodded. "I thought of you as a lovely and beautiful flower so I brought you a bouquet of roses."
"But roses have thorns, Ravi..."
She sounded like it has a deep meaning but I smiled as she also laughed dearly. As if hiding her words' meaning.
"Thorns can be plucked and removed, mother. The rose is still as beautiful with or without thorns."
"My dear child. You speak like you're way older than me."
"I speak like I should as usual. I don't mean to make you feel that way, mother."
She laughed at my remarks. She stood up and came close to me then she hugged me again and caressed my hair.
"I'm so glad I have you by my side."
'Are you longing for father?'
I clicked my tounge to prevent myself from asking her. It would just hurt her more if I bring father up between our moment.
"I'm glad to have you, too, mother." I said instead.
She goes back to her seat and sip the glass of wine the maid just put in the table.
My mother must have been stressed thinking about my father. I wanted to tell her that it's alright but I just swallowed it as I know it isn't.
"By the way, mother, what is it that you want to say to me as you asked for me to see you?"
"I was thinking of this event that will be held."
"What event is it?"
"Did you forget? It's your birthday next month."
I just remembered. Having all of those class and activities for the past months, I forgot about my birthday. I feel like I have gotten very old now.
"It slips my mind."
She laughed, "You really talk like you're already old. It's fun hearing you that way."
My mother must think I'm amusing. I just stared at her as she keeps on laughing.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't think you're amusing. I'm just happy my daughter is like this. She can keep up with her mother's thoughts."
I smiled and nodded. I continued eating the snacks that my mother prepared for me.
"Anyways, I called you here to ask you if you want to organize your own birthday."
"Will there be a party?"
"Assuming that you're the Emperor and Empress child, and even the heir of the throne, so there should be. Why would you ask such an obvious question?"
'I was just thinking of a simple birthday. Where there will just be me, you and father.'
"I can help if there's a place for me tk help to."
"This will also serve as a practice for you to organize an event. This will be a great lesson."
I nodded and agreed to what she said. She smiled and held out her hand to touch mine. I let her and also held her hand softly.
"Time flies so fast. So as you keep on growing up, it's best for you to learn things in the palace you will soon conquer."
"Yes, mother."
She smiled sweetly and let go of my hand.
"I will set our gathering soon for the meeting of the preparations for your birthday. Please think of something that you like to be on the event."
I nodded. My mother quietly watch me as I continued eating snacks. I'm a kid so it's a given for me that I like sweets. But I know my limitations, though.
"Ravi, you don't have to supress your inner child... Express what you really feel and do what you want to do."
My eyes looked up to her. I held my head up high and wiped my mouth with the table napkin when I finished eating.
"You do not have to worry about my emotional status, mother. I am who I am right now and this is exactly what I feel."
I said that to stop her worries but I think she knows I'm lying.
"My dear Ravi... I am your mother so I know exactly what you feel. You came from me, and I observed you from the beginning."
I know that she knows but I shook my head and insist that she should not care about it at all since there's nothing to worry.
"Don't try to hide and deny it to me, Ravi. I know you want to enjoy your childhood, but we put you up to this. Do you resent your mother and father for that?"
I analyzed what she said. It's true that I wanted to enjoy my childhood, but the thing is, who would want to get along with me? Knowing as I am the Princess and the heir of the throne, there will be no one to play with me as they will try to keep their distance.
The kids will probably mock me for who I am. Some will put up with me, of course, but that is just because they only see me as the Emperor and Empress' child but not as myself.
I bet kids will even be bored by my presence as I just usually read books and do stuffs thats is boring for them but enjoying for me.
"Kids around my age will just feel like I'm a nuisance to them. I do a lot of things that most kids will probably not be able to follow and my mind is too mature for them. How could I possibly enjoy my childhood that way, mother?"
My mother's eyes were soft as she observed my expression directly to mine. I mastered keeping my emotions in check at a young age so I'm confident that she will not see how I am deep inside.
"You are my daughter, and I know you so deeply. I am saddened by the fact that you hide your emotions from your mother."
I thought she wouldn't knew, but proving her conclusions are wrong, I stared at her. To my surprise, a tear fall onto her face from her eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry. It just hurts me seeing you this way."
I stood up and quickly walk closer to her. My height is that of an ideal five years old, so I couldn't reach her face when I want to.
"The Empress should not cry, mother."
She's crying but she laughed at what I said.
"I know. I'm sorry for crying."
I totally don't know how to express my feelings, and I don't know how to comfort anyone. But my instinct told me that I should hug her so I did.
"Now, this makes me feel better."
I tapped her back. She also hugged me tightly but just enough for me to breathe.
I don't know what's gotten into her so suddenly, but one of my guess is that she wants to see me as a child. I wanted to do that too but as I am the Princess, I'm afraid to be criticized.
At this age, I already knew criticism. People will criticize for what you do that is not fit for their perception. So to avoid that, I became very cautious.
"Ravi, when you get older, you will regret not doing everything you wanted to do. Childhood is a very important part of growing up. Not being able to experience it is a loss of life."
"As much as I want to enjoy my childhood, mother, I know that I can't. You surely know it, too, right?"
She nodded. "Yes, and I'm so sorry for that."
"I understand."
After my conversation with my mother, I bid my goodbye to her since it is time for me to do a siesta.
The royal guard escorted me to my room. Miss Meltia who is there inside my room suddenly came to me with an anxious expression.
She must be worried to where did I go without me telling her.
"Where have you been, Your Highness? I looked for you around the terrace but I couldn't find you there."
"I was with my mother."
She sighed in relief. "I thought you were taken by someone."
I shook my head and smiled to her. She guided me to my bed and take my shoes off before I go up.
"Please rest for a while, Your Highness."
"I will."
***
Frankel, who is younger than Ravi, is a very charming and also an intelligent kid. But compared to Ravi, he is not on her level.
He felt an inferiority complex towards Ravi that he resent her for being born. And he hates her for being the Empress' and Emperor's child.
'If I could just be like her...'
Ravi is a very proud, and full of pride person, even she was just a kid. While Frankel is a shy but has a strong personality.
They do not get along so they do not know each other very well.
"Frankel, you must be good for you are future heir of the throne."
Mother always keep on saying this to me. She said that I should be the one to take the throne and be the heir, but it's already obvious that I will not be.
But despite knowing that, I just keep on nodding to everything she says.
"His Majesty, your father, loves you so much. He just can't get rid of the Empress and his legitimate child right now because of their status and wealth, but when the time comes, he will get rid of them."
I nodded again to her complete nonsense. My mother wanted to be the Empress, and she wanted to be His Majesty's only woman.
But because of Ravi and her mother, she could not. So I will willingly do anything for her to acquire what she desired for so long.
I was busy watching the other kids playing around and having fun together while hiding when I felt a heavy gaze on me.
I looked up to where I felt the gaze is and I was shocked to see Ravi's eyes staring at me. My blood suddenly boils and I can feel my eyes grew darker.
Every time I see her, my hatred grow bigger and bigger. I don't know how it started but I just hate her the way she is.
I left my spot and decided to go to where she is. But as I was walking along the halls, I saw them also heading to the opposite direction.
I hide as fast as I could to the nearest pillar and peek to see where they are going. But the two of them suddenly stopped and looks like the royal guard spoke to her.
Then the royal guard advanced and Ravi just stayed on her spot. I got a feeling that the royal guard was heading for me and as soon as I realized it and was about to run, the royal guard caught me.
I was startled but my hatred just grew more by this act. I was thinking that Ravi ordered the royal guard for him to catch me.
"It is suspicious to see you act that way. Are you planning on assassinating Her Highness?"
The royal guard said as soon as he finished asking me what was I doing behind a pillar.
I glared at him, and show my anger but didn't say anything.
"Sir Dalton, you must not think that way as Frankel would not do that."
I was shocked by her reply to the royal guard. She didn't think that I will do it?
"You will never know a person's personality, Your Highness."
"I must say I don't but Frankel is my brother."
Hearing what she said, I was surprised but also don't know how to react. It is my first time hearing her calling me her brother, and don't exactly know she addressed me that way.
I noticed her eyes on me but I didn't even looked down or look away. I think it must be because of the shock.
I turned around and quickly ran as fast as I could without saying anything to them. I know it was rude but I have always been rude anyway.
There's just only thing that is stuck on my mind,
'She called me brother.'
I suppressed my smile.