After everything was done, we decided to hit up Big Boy's Bar-B-Q for dinner. I didn't even want to think about how it got that name.
"Hey, have you ever been to a Comic Con before?" I asked the knockoff Regina George Bakugou next to me. "For someone who does this shit so often, you sure don't know much about conventions. Is this just a kink for you or something?"
"What? No! What's wrong with you?" she threw a penny at my face. "This is my first time. A pity I'm experiencing it with you, huh?"
I just shrugged, picking up the shiny Abe I'd just copped. Jokes on her, I just got one cent richer. Dumbass.
Anyway, as I drove down the highway, I said into my phone: "Google, call Big Boy's Bar-B-Q."
A few seconds later, the voice of a man came through the phone. "Hello, thank you for choosing Big Boy's Bar-B-Q! How may I help you tonight?"
"Yeah, I have a question?" I asked.
Hera stared at me as the man said: "Uh... you know we have a website, right?"
I ignored the obnoxious prick. Who has time for websites these days anyway? "Yeah, whatever. Why's it called Big Boy? That's kinda weird, right?"
"Sir, I dunno. I'm just a bust boy," He answered.
"Yeah, but you chose to work there. Makes you a creep too, y'know."
Hera punched me in the arm, causing me to shriek into the phone.
"...dude, are you high or something? I don't get paid enough for this bull..." He groaned.
"Nevermind. Anyway, I'm gonna need two seats at the bar. Pronto. The name's Jason. Jason Davis."
"...yeah, no. How about a table in the back like everyone else, you pretentious-"
"Thank you! We'll be right there, sir!" Hera rambled as she snatched the phone from me, hitting me again.
"Yeah, and I'm leaving early. I bet you don't even tip." He said before hanging up.
I silently prayed that maybe somehow her phone would start ringing at that moment like in the movies. Or maybe an alien would decide to take us away at that moment. Anything to save me from Hurricane Hera.
But no.
"..."
"...you good-"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" she suddenly screamed as I just kept driving. "THEY'RE GONNA SPIT IN OUR FOOD NOW, DUMBASS! GOD, I HATE YOU! UGH! WHY, GOD? WHY? HAVE MERCY ON MY FUCKING SOUL!"
"...I'll take that as a no?"
Next thing I knew, she'd clobbered my nutsack again. Goodbye, chance at children.
-------
A few minutes later, we arrived at the stupidly named place.
She practically sprinted out of the car, not bothering to wait for me.
"Chivalry goes both ways, y'know?" I said when we got inside.
"I promise I don't know him, please don't spit in my food," She said to the exhausted-looking dude standing behind a podium-thing.
"Yeah, whatever. My fucking boss wouldn't let me leave, so I guess I'm stuck with you."
Shit. It was the guy from the phone. Kill me...
"Anyway," I said, "I've made a reservation for Davis, party of two."
He reluctantly flipped through the reservations until he found my name.
"Ah! Mr. Davis, your table is ready," the dude said.
The dude led me and the Regina George knockoff Bakugou to our ready table, which was actually in the back of the bar area.
But when we got to our table, the knockoff Regina George Bakugou gestured toward her outfit. "Do you notice anything different about me, Deku?" she asked.
I looked her up and down to try and find the difference. And when I looked down, I spotted it. She had changed into some black stilettos.
"You're wearing heels? ...am I supposed to care?" I asked with genuine intrigue.
"No. Yes. I dunno," she said, then after a dramatic pause continued with "I changed my shoes while you were calling the reservation in for us here, but I've got an idea..."
I huffed, knowing it was gonna be something horrible.
"I want you to wear these and walk to the restroom. And leave them on the entire time. You have tiny little bitch boy feet so I can totally fit your Vans!" she exclaimed with a smile.
I stared at her, dumbstruck at what she just said. "What's wrong with you? Hell no, this isn't RuPaul's Drag Race!"
She shook her head. "That's homophobic. Real men wear heels, you know!" she said, crossing her arms. How the hell-
"You know what, fine. I'll wear the fucking heels. I look hot in everything," I said, aggressively kicking my shoes off. She smiled and did the same, handing them to me.
"Make sure you strut!" she smiled, clapping her hands mischievously. I just glared at her as I strapped them on. They were pretty nice, I gotta say. Didn't pair well with my socks, though.
"Looking hot!" She said as I stood up.
"Go fuck yourself," I gritted, wobbling toward the men's room, ignoring all the weird looks.
"What? I look hot, you're just jealous!" I shouted, wobbling faster as Hera's obnoxious cackle filled my ears.
A few minutes later, I wobbled out of the men's room and back to our table. Gotta admit, I was actually rockin' these heels! But I refused to show this geek girl here.
And as I sat down in my seat across from the damn nerd, I asked: "Hera, I'm going to regret asking this because of our deal, but who do you think we should cosplay for day two tomorrow?"
"Momo and Kyoka," she immediately answered whilst scanning her menu.
After leaning in closer, I whispered, "Yo, I hear that ship's one of the best LGBTQ+ ships in the fandom. And yes, I support that side of the community."
"Whatever," Hera said.
I shook my head and looked down at the finely laminated menu in front of me. So much for discussing cosplay plans...
The next five minutes were awkward nerdy silence from both of us until our waitress, Janelle, a young lady with tanned skin and tightly curly hair, approached us.
"Welcome to Big Boy's Bar-B-Q!" she said in a quiet voice. "My name is Janelle and I'll be taking care of you tonight. Can I start you con goers off with any drinks?"
How the hell did she know that we went to FanX?!
"I'll have a sweet tea, please," I answered, "with a lemon."
"And you, ma'am?"
"I'll have a sweet tea as well," she replied.
"Excellent! I'll have your drinks out in a moment!" Janelle said as she went to assist other patrons.
"Hera, did you notice that?" I asked Hera as soon as our waitress was out of sight. "She was way nicer than the host was."
Hera rolled her eyes. "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," she replied.
Suddenly, I had a thought. "Come to think of it, do you think he might have sent one of the chefs a negative note because of our phone call?"
The knockoff Regina George Bakugou reached over and flicked me in the forehead. "What do you think, shitface? If you hadn't have asked that stupid ass question about the restaurant's name, none of that would've happened!"
"Well, if you hadn't have punched me in the arm," I countered, "I wouldn't have fucked up our reservation and got us this table in the back of this place!! And that was not Plus Ultra at ALL! God, you're such a pain!"
"You wanna run that by me again?" Hera asked, forming her hand as if she was about to set off an explosion, just like that bomberanian Baku-hoe.
"Did I stutter, Katsuki Bakugou?" I growled, suddenly finding myself getting into character again, but in fanon fashion. "You are such a pain."
Hera giggled a bit. "Now you're starting to speak my language!"
"Yeah, Yeah, whatever. Just shut the hell up and look at your menu."
Seven more minutes of nerdy silence. All I needed. Not another word was said for what seemed to be a long time.
Three more silent minutes later, Janelle was at our table with our teas. And as soon as she placed our teas down, she asked: "Are you guys ready to order?"
"Yes, ma'am, we are," I piped. "I'd like to get the Three Meat Plate. And for the meats, I'd like the Andouille Sausage, the Boneless Chicken Thigh, and the Pulled Pork. And for the side, I'd like the French Fries."
"You got it," Janelle said as she jotted it down on her pad. Then she turned to the knockoff Regina George Bakugou in front of me. "And for you, ma'am?"
"I'd like to get the Two Meat Plate," she answered. "And for my two meats, I'd like the Smoked Turkey Breast and the Andouille Sausage, and I want to add a rib to mine. And for the side, I'd like the Sweet Potato Fries."
"Oh, and can you let the chefs know that we'd like our food to be fresh and hot?" I chimed in.
"Certainly! I'll get that in right away!" Janelle said.
And as she left, I told Hera: "That sausage is an excellent choice, Hera. Not only is it spicy, but it's also super juicy!"
"If you say so, Deku," the knockoff Kacchan said.
Just then, I had another thought. "Hera, just out of curiosity," I said, "has anyone else bullied you before I did?"
"Fortunately, no," Hera said. "Did you ever get bullied?"
Oof... Major ego blow.
"Believe it or not, yes," I answered. " I'll tell you how it happened, but you have to promise not to tell anybody about it, okay?"
Hera nodded. "Okay, JJ-boy," she replied, "but I'm going to tell my folks about it so that they know that I'm not the only victim here."
Oof again. "I guess it's fine with me."
And so, I began telling Hera about the time I got bullied.
———
Hera
"I didn't realize that you were a victim, too, JJ!" I said after JJ was finished with his story five minutes later. Damn. Poor JJ... I guess I'm really not the only one who's been bullied.
"It still haunts me to this day, Hera..." JJ said. "It hurts. It really, really hurts."
JJ the victim turned bully...wow.
But wait a damn minute! Is that the real reason this asshole stud began bullying me? Just to cover up his dark past of getting bullied?
No time to think about that though...
"I'm just glad I can tell you about this, Hera," JJ told me. "But remember, if you tell a soul about this, your mom and pop being the only exception, I'll make your life a—"
I flicked him in the forehead again. "Listen here, you brute-ass bastard!" I said. "You're not gonna do shit!"
"Watch me... I'm gonna do it," JJ countered.
Well hell! You've really gone and done it this time, JJ...
I didn't know what I was doing at this point, but I became so damn mad that I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him in, almost knocking over his drink, saying: "What did I just say, JJ Davis?!"
"Fuck..." he said. He knew he'd be fucked if he spoke even further.
"That's what I fuckin' thought," I said before letting him go.
Once again, I was the dominant one throughout the dinner date. Talk about putting the bully in his place!
------
Jason
Did I just lay witness to Hera's scary side? If so, that was one hell of a scare! And I could tell she was being serious about what she just said! Jesus Christ! I decided to shut my mouth and give up my dominance before matters became worse.
"F-forgive me," I said. "Just don't hurt me anymore!"
Damnit, Hera! Now I feel weak, just like that broccoli-haired weak Deku! Well, he ain't no weak anymore, thanks to his Quirk.
"No promises, Deku," the Regina George knockoff Bakugou replied with an evil grin. "Just don't let it happen again. Capisce?"
I nodded quickly. So much for maintaining my status...