Chapter 18: Where are you?
Will Elixir take out her grief on his sister and her parents? Will she blame James' new family for the lost of her only child? Would she make Queenie's life miserable for his sake? Jason knew the answer to that question.
Probably not! She won't stooge that low but James and his mistress would be fair game.
His eyes were getting heavy. He should rest them for a while. Just for a minute or two. Then he heard it.
"Let me guess, you want to roll over and die. I have always said it. You are pathetic"
"James!"
Jason was puzzled. What was his deadbeat father doing inside a burning room in Malawi? It was strange.
"Don't you call me by my name; boy or I will beat you. I am your father"
Jason felt bitter as laughter erupted from him. The idea of James Ekoh calling himself his father was rather amusing. Jason wanted to tell him that he wasn't a little boy anymore and he wasn't as scary now.
"You are not my father, James. You are just a sperm donor"
"Has it ever occurred to you that all that anger you carry towards me is keeping you down and turning you into me? You are my son after all. My flesh and blood, it was bound to happen"
"I can never be like you, James. Never!"
"Wrong! You are already like me. It's why you are in a burning building. Think about it, Jason. You failed her completely, you little ignorant bastard. You are a failure"
"You are not real! You are not real!"
Jason covered both ears with his hand to keep James' voice from taunting and hurting him.
"I know you feel it and you fear it too."
"You are not real! You are not real!"
"Try and deny it, you know deep down that you will turn out just like your old man. You are going to be me, Jayden Ekoh. I don't think I ever told you what Jayden means, boy. Jayden means unclear just like you, son"
"You are wrong" Jason smiled like James could not hurt him anymore "you are just a bitter old man and I am not anything like you. Because unlike you, I am here for those who need me, something you were never good at. I think about you sometimes. You are just the perfect example of what I strive not to be. I am going to find a way to make my mother leave you and then you will be truly nothing. By the way, my name is Jason and it means healer. Get the fuck out of my face, you pathetic loathsome old man!"
James was there but then he wasn't. He just disappeared just as quickly as he appeared. Jason was tired; he wanted to keep his eyes shut.
"Jason. Hi baby"
"Oma! What are you doing here? You need to get out now. It's too hot, here"
It was the woman he loved. The woman that broke his heart.
"I am here because you need me"
"I know I need you but you told me to leave. You pushed me away, McKenna"
"I know. I know I did but I don't want you to die. You were going to change the world, remember? You can't do it if you are dead. Jason! Jason.... keep your eyes open.....yes, like that"
"She is not here. Nolani is not in this room"
"Yes, she is. You know exactly where is she is, Jason"
"I do?"
"Yes Jason. You do. Why do you think she entered inside this room to begin with?"
"You are not real. You are just a figment of my imagination. The real McKenna is in Canada"
"The real me is always with you, tucked safely in your heart and Duh, of course I am your imagination. But don't mind that and still listen to me. Why do you think Nolani entered this room when she should have stayed outside?"
"She must have been scared, she came here to hide. You are right McKenna. I know where she is. She is hiding behind that bunk bed. But I can't get to her; it's nothing more than a crawl space. I won't be able to fit in the space"
"Then get her to crawl to you. I believe in you, Jason. You can do it"
"I can do it. Just need to rest my eyes"
"Jason Ekoh-Yagazie! You better keep your eyes open. Nolani is going to die if you don't. She is going to burn slowly until there is nothing left of her if you don't stop trying to die on me"
"I won't let that happen! Nolani!" Jason pushed himself up and crawl towards what was left of the bed.
He was so sure that the little girl was behind the bed. It was her favorite hiding spot. It was where they first met.
"Nolani!" He could hear a whimper and it was getting loud as he crawled closer.
"Nolani! Sweetheart, I am here. Can you hear me?"
He heard the whimper again and a soft voice spoke.
"I want Dada. It's hot"
Jason's heart broke; she was probably roasting slowly from the inside and in a lot of pain. She's been crying and yet she wanted him.
"I am here, baby girl. I am not going anywhere"
He could see her now; he was grateful that her chosen hiding spot was the safest place in the room. Apart from the little smoke from the remaining part of the burning bed, the place was miraculously devoid of danger. But Jason was grateful too soon. He heard a crackling sound and looked up. If he does not get the little girl out of that particular spot immediately, she will be crushed by the hung cabinet that was about to crash.
"Nolani, I need you to crawl towards me"
The girl shook her head. She was terrified and tears ran down her face. Jason knew he had to get creative and think faster if they are going to make it out alive.
"I am sorry, Nolani. I know I have been avoiding you since I came back. It had nothing to do with you, sweetheart. I was in a lot of pain and I wasn't there for you. But I am here sweetheart. Dada is here, now. If you come to me, I won't shut you out again"
Jason had no idea if the child understood a word he said or his apology. He just knew if they didn't make it out, he wanted Nolani to know he was sorry.
"Come on, Sweetheart! You can do it. If you crawl to me, I won't let you go ever again. I promise"
Slowly the little girl made her way to him but Jason knew that in about a second or so, the entire roof would cave in and they would be trapped.
"Good job, Nolani"
He pulled her into his arms when she was close enough and like he predicted the whole roof caved in but not before Jason wrapped her in the blanket he was holding and used his body as shield.