He was a knight who usually didn't talk much. However, even this blunt and emotionally detached man managed to be surprised this time around. So, he spoke more than he normally would.
"If you really think you have 10 lives, please look at the face of our Prince here who is trying to stay calm. Do you even know how worried he was? We really thought you were about to die this time."
I answered emotionlessly.
"Yes. It looks like I do have more than 10 lives."
"Your Highness!"
"Maybe about 40?"
I had no intention of telling them the truth so instead of answering him, I picked up the book. Even without me looking at Sir Ray, I knew he was frowning.
"Are you listening to me? I bet you're thinking that I'm just nagging again."
"Ah-Ah-Ah. Stop it. Stop it. I didn't die."
"Yes. Because we came."
"Yup, that's right. I almost died, but thanks to you guys, I didn't. Are you satisfied?"
Along with the book, I picked up my notebook.
I looked at the items I was holding in my hand before squinting.
"I didn't expect my Prince and I to make it here on time. How could anyone escape and manage to survive? If you're going to say anything more, stop it. Do you know how far from the palace we are?"
"I already knew I wasn't going to die."
"What?"
Instead of replying, I looked through my notebook which was the size of my hand. Its size was perfect to use as a diary. But if we were to consider just my gaze whenever I looked at the notebook, it would've been torn to shreds already.
'I can't believe it was perfectly unscathed.'
After giving a big sigh, I tried to open the notebook before realising that I wasn't the only one here. Sir Ray and Dane. Sir Ray had a dumbfounded look on his face. Now that I was looking at him proper, I could see his expression more clearly. Conscious of their glares, I gave a cough.
"Yes, that's right."
Relax, relax. In front of them, I acted like a mannered princess.
"Don't get angry, it scares me."
Tilting his head, Sir Ray looked this way and frowned. Looking at him like this, I couldn't help but think about how sly he looked.
"Why are you smiling like that? You've made us all worry."
"…Uhm, because it's nice of you guys to come all the way here?"
He snorted.
"Don't smile, please. You're making me less angry."
Afterward, he brought Dane and I back to the palace. Once we reached the palace, he told me to rest immediately, probably thinking that I was tired. The interrogation seemed to have been postponed for now. The maids had all left, leaving me alone in this large space.
"Ah again… My head…"
Episodically, my head would throb.
I rubbed my face, trying to soothe my head, as I walked over next to my desk. Clearing away the things on the desk, I spread open my notebook.
[Year 823, the 7th day of Haberon
I met the dog guarding the forest.]
I just flipped the book open to any page, but to my surprise, I landed on the page describing today's events accurately.
[On my way to the Forbidden Forest, I met an assassin and was killed.]
I turned the page. The next page was empty. Of course, it was because that page was the last one.
"…How could I continue writing in my diary after dying."
Unbeknownst to me, I talked to myself as I stared at the page, smirking at its contents. After one dies, there is nothing but death.
Then a flash of light burst out of the diary. The flash of light spread from the first letter to the second, then the third before the whole page was lit and trembled. I gulped as my written words swirled together before disappearing.
Saaaa—
As if it was alive, the page changed. As usual, the page remained immersed in light. But after a while, words started forming, depicting a completely different story from before.
[Year 823, the 7th day of Haberon
I didn't manage to get past the guard dog. I almost died running away…
Luckily, thanks to the help of my 7th brother and his escort who came to find me, they saved my life.]
The next page was titled 'Tomorrow'. Once again, I have overcome death. But I felt no joy.
"Ha…"
It has been the same outcome no matter how many times I have done it. Everything that happened felt unreal at first. But now, it felt routine.
2 years ago, I saw this diary of mine for the first time.
"… Here we go again."
As always, my sighs were accompanied with both relief and fear. I was so nervous I could only feel warmth at the tip of my hands.
In the year 823, on one of the days in Haberon.
I managed to survive.
A gold-plated spoon
When I was younger, I had many ribbons and I dreamt of becoming a princess that had a puffy skirt. However, I realised as I grew up that a King's daughter was of no value in Seoul where the monarchy has all but disappeared.
My next dream was to be a well-earning civil servant with enough to eat.
"Our lives are so screwed up. What's life good for?"
"Nothing."
"What's the point of a promotion? Is marriage such a crime? Can't I work even if I have a baby? Why the heck does the higher-ups do this to me? Huh? Tell me, Assistant Manager Yoon. Why are we even living? Why? Why-y-y-y!"
"Don't ask me questions I can't answer. Let's drink before we eat."
"Huhu. Take care of yourself….?"
Dreams could change at any time. My first big dream became smaller as it was pressured and constricted due to the harsh reality. For example, my classmate who dreamed to become the President when she was in elementary school before changing her dream to becoming a game BJ. After her BJ activities were completely ruined 10 years later, the friend became a low rung office worker so she had a drink with me.
She hiccupped.
"Screw the world. Fuck it over. The world should just screw itself."
Eating was more important than world peace to us plebeians. However, just because we compromised our dreams to fit the present reality, did not mean that we were giving up on them. Instead of 1 billion won, I just needed 10 million to live well. No, please God, I just need to be third best*.
*This was a direct TL if you know what it means please help XD
A child that had turned into an adult needed to mould their dream to fit with reality.
"Huhu, I want to go to an English magic school too. Send me an owl please…"
"You're drunk. Very drunk."
My friend and I were lifeless adults that had turned our heads away from our dreams.
"… Ah. What was your dream?"
"Uhm, to become a princess?"
Just like how when watching noisy action blockbusters, I dreamed of becoming a woman who could embark on mysterious adventures to find mystical rings, my dream came to be because something similar happened. That was why I dreamed of becoming a princess with a handsome dragon as a husband. But I've given up on that dream that seemed to be straight out of a fairy tale.
But now… what do I do?
—Year 821, in the month of Habermia
"Your Highness!"
I had a terrible headache. Maybe because my dream had become a reality. The maid that had been looking for me with sweat dripping from her brow, gasped for air.
"Your Highness! Where are you? You Highness!"
The girl with the pretty face was felt the thick layer of grass beneath her dress. The pretty girl and the person the maid was calling for was me.
The maid coughed before continuing.
"Your Highness! Your Highness!"
Watching her so breathless, I felt sorry. But still, I jutted out my chin and raised my head.
'What should I feel if one day I was forced to live another life?"
I felt strange. Actually, I felt amazing. But my surprise didn't last for long. Because I had never asked for this.
"Ha…"
The place I had been reborn into was a world completely different from Seoul. There were no trains, no airplanes, and no convenience stores. This was a land of fantasy where there Gods and Emperors exist. I had no time for rest.
"Your Highness!"
It was pretty simple as to how I managed to figure out that this was reality. No dream would ever show me such vivid and natural-looking scenes. I felt constipated. Oh my God, what was all this? This was not romantic at all.
I felt as if all my efforts in my previous life were futile.
'Looks like there's no way to go back.'
To put me in a world without a way back was not fair. But the life I was living was both frustrating and full of regrets. Thinking about it, did I live a life I was satisfied with? I didn't think so.
My life wasn't lived well. I wasn't close to any of my family members. I quit my job because my boss had been sexually harassing me, so I lost my means of making money at an early age. They were pretty terrible memories so I tried to force myself to forget them for now and focus on understanding my reincarnation.
What happens if I tried to go against this? Like a horrible delivery service, I don't think there would be any refunds and exchanges in this life. The God who brought me here must have been blind during the process.
But trying to talking to God might have been an earnest attempt at communication on my part but it was impossible. I mean, I had already given up on becoming an adult early in my previous life. That's right. I should try living once more. But what the heck am I supposed to do with this new life in this strange world?