I tossed and turned for the better part of the night, not able to get settled.
My lip still tingled and stung from his kiss and my body still burned.
How could I have forgotten how good he is in these things? I'd spent a lot of time trying to get over that, to put all of our time together out of my head.
Focusing on the babies had helped, and then life had taken care of the rest. But with one touch, it has all come rushing back again.
The gentle way in which he'd introduced me to sex. The joy I'd felt at learning that my body could give and gain such pleasure. I remember our laughter as we rolled around in his bed, the way he used to touch me, so tenderly. Not like tonight! So why did his rough treatment of me make my body react the way it did?
I can still feel the sticky wetness between my thighs. I should probably get up and wash, but I'm afraid to move around too much.
My heart was still racing too hard for me to get comfortable in bed and so I ended up tossing some more, trying to find the perfect spot on the sheets that didn't make my body feel like it was going to explode.
It had taken me a long time to get over missing that side of things. Sex, lovemaking had been such an integral part of our life together that it was one of the hardest things to overcome. There were plenty of mornings when I woke up reaching for him, only to burst into tears when reality hit me.
There were times when I'd even been tempted to touch myself just to ease the ache of the pain wanting him had awakened in me, but I knew that nothing would ever suffice, nothing short of having him again.
And now, after long months of getting over what we once had, why did this have to happen?
I honestly didn't expect Cadmus ever to touch me again. I knew that in his eyes, I am now nothing more than a stranger, someone not to be trusted.
It was like broke the bridge of trust that was present between us .
I know enough to know how he treats people he sees in that light, so I doubt that he's even giving a second thought to what had happened in the garden.
Still months of tiredness because of no to little sleep was catching up to me . As I sank in my pillow with Cadmus's thought in my head. And I fell into deep slumber.