I convinced myself that things will never be the same.So I followed along behind him wordlessly, the distance between us getting wider and wider as he and the sales clerk discussed the best choices for my boys, knowing that with each purchase, he was driving a deeper wedge between my sons and me. He wasn't buying top of the line nursery stuff for weekend visits, and where did he learn about all this stuff so quickly? I snapped out of it at the sound of the register beeping over and over again with his many purchases.
"Have these things delivered by end of day, no later." He instructed the sales lady after paying, still with my boys held snugly in his arms. As they are quite heavy at their age still he never during this time period let me hold anyone baby. Once back outside, my panic really began to rise when instead of taking the babies back to my car, he headed for his chauffeur-driven luxury vehicle where the driver was waiting with the backdoor open.
Once again, an argument started and died in my mind, and it took every ounce of civility I had left not to scream bloody murder when Cadmus strapped my babies into the new state of the art twin baby seat he'd obviously just bought. I hovered like a fool until he straightened up and looked at me once again with that seeming disinterest in his eyes.
It hurt, oh how it hurt. I remember the heat those eyes used to hold when they looked at me. Remember, even more, the way they used to flash when we made love. I felt my cheeks redden seconds before his nostrils flared, and he gave me a fleeting look that I remembered so well. Surely I'd mistaken the look of passion I thought I saw because it was gone in a second only to be replaced by one of cold indifference.