After she'd left I still hadn't felt safe enough to venture outside even though she knew that I was pregnant. So I changed the locks on my door and never even looked outside except for doctor's appointments. I went to every one by myself, got my hands on all the research about childbirth and parenting and read or watched to keep me company.
I learnt all about how to take care of twins and worked hard for my on-line business so
that I could afford everything for my babies .
I everyday imagined that how my pregnancy would have been different if I was still with my husband but I just couldn't be with for the secret that I kept from now the babies were also a secret that I was keeping from him.
I was alone when I went into labor as I'd expected and planned for. I was the one who called the ambulance. I was the one who gave birth alone, the one who came home from the hospital alone with twins that terrified me even though I'd prepared myself for it all.
I was now mother of two baby boys who were a spitting image of their father.Those first few days I was happy and scared at least part of each hour. The joy I felt when I looked at them cannot be measured, but I feared even more that a life like I had lived would be forced upon him if I didn't do something.