Backing away, the three exited the harem's cordon, disappearing into the crowd. "What happened?" Anastasia asked, eyes searching the crowd for the Hitokiri. She'd missed the confrontation coming in at the last moment to support Cesare.
"Tomorrow they're going to try to kill us," Cesare said with a casualness borne of long experience. Anastasia nodded, after the Wendigo, she'd come to a new appreciation of just how dangerous these fights were. At one time, she'd looked at them as a kind of sport. Now she knew why they determined the next leaders of the Umbrae Lunae.
"And what are we going to do?" Anastasia asked, eyes coming off the crowd to land on Cesare with an expectant look.
"Make an impression. One that will resound with the purity of slaughter," Cesare said.
Looking over at Yoshisune, he coached his words in things that only his group would know. He watched the girls' eyes light with sadistic glee at the plan. It was bloody, vicious, and just plain evil, but no one disagreed. They'd long ago passed the point of being able to walk away.
It was strange to have an intruder with them, Yoshisune was a thorn that scrapped the flesh, a sound just out of tune. It wasn't his fault he couldn't fit into their group. Alexandra ignored him, eyes skimming the crowd and the harem for threats. Anastasia engaged him in conversation on his clan and its holdings, probing for information on how she'd use him. Elizabeth questioned him on his studies, seemingly impressed with how far he'd come in so little time. Kali didn't even spare the boy a look, hand never leaving Cesare's arm.
The others drifted off as they left the party, Yoshisune visibly girding his loins for the dark trip back to the Serpens Lacum. It left Cesare and Kali alone or at least as alone as they could get with the harem. The night flowed around them, silent tides welcoming its children back into its depths. They came to the willow tree in silence, guided by an attunement to their Mistress the harem spread out, leaving the two in a bubble of possessive security. Guiding him onto the stone bench, she gathered her robes and straddled his lap.
"I missed you," Kali said, laying her head on his shoulder. "I know that sounds crazy when I don't know you, but it's true."
The wind ran through the tree, the weeping willows tear tracks waving in its cold caress. Blackness settled around the two, enfolding them in velvet folds. Cesare's arms tightened around the woman, her slight frame belying the destructive power housed in her bones.
"I try to write." The words ghosted through her hair.
"I envy my daughter for being here with you. I only get to see the signposts of your change; she sees the transformation. Every time I come, you're different, harder, leaner, more ruthless. I wish I could see the hammer blows giving birth to the blade." They were less than whispers in the black night.
"Did you know?" Cesare asked.
"Yes." She didn't hide her deception. "I've seen everything that walks, flies, or fucks under the sky. When I looked on you, I knew you were something I'd never seen before. A creature born of neither the Old Ones nor the Pale God." It was a raw, bleeding truth filled with wondrous fear, but truth all the same.
"It scares you." That was next to impossible for him to reconcile with the woman.
She laughed, low and innocent. "I assure you, I'm not the only one it scares, Cesare. Creation wasn't an event, it's an ongoing process. New things come into being year after year, they're birthed, and die. In that mass are individuals, experiments of nature or gods, singular things that breath uncertainty into the world. Medusa was one of them, a singular creature never repeated, an immortal. But none of them are like you."
Turning his face, they were inches apart, her champagne tinged breath washing over his face. "You're beautiful. Devoid of the innocence of spring, lacking the lushness of summer, or the beauty of fall. You are the winter Cesare, cold and stark, stripped to the bone in its brutal truth, carnage your bride and sorrow your child. It's the beauty of the wild." Kali's fingers threaded through his dark almost black hair with a wonder that couldn't help but make him uncomfortable.
"You're not the uncertainty of an experiment; you're a shift in the world. The atomic bomb changed everything; it was a singular moment in history. Gunpowder, electricity, flight, steam, these things shifted the world under the feet of both human and Umbrae Lunae. Created by an unknown force with powers no one can forecast, you're a catalyst of the end or a new beginning."
It should change everything for him, but it didn't change anything. For it to change him he would have to care about the world, and they'd parted ways long ago. He'd learned to hate the world so he could love himself. You can't care for something that throws you away. The world could end, and Cesare would watch it die with a grin on his face and a song in his heart as long those he loved survived.
"Talk to me." The whispered command was threaded with pleading. Meeting Kali's dark eyes, he kissed her scorching hot lips with his cruelly cold ones. She'd seen the annihilation of her way of life. The systematic genocide of races and the tearing of continents. She ruled an empire that stretched onto every continent. If anyone could understand it would be her.
Burying his head in her hair, he breathed his fears into the air. "I don't know what I'm doing. Half the time I'm not thinking beyond the fire in front of me. I spend the rest worrying that the next time I won't be clever enough to get them out alive. I'm doing the best I can, but I've never been good enough." The darkness deepened around them, draping them in its forgiving embrace.
Running her hand through his hair, she pulled his head gently into her shoulder, cradling him in her darkness. "What do you think a leader is?" she whispered into the night. "Some are more gifted than others, but we're all only doing the best we can. A leader isn't the strongest or the smartest, it's the person willing to step into the unknown and take responsibility. A good leader doesn't have to be smart Cesare, courage, self-confidence, wisdom, and a willingness to bleed for those that follow them, that's what makes a good leader. Integrity earns people's loyalty, not infallibility."
Swallowing, the words came out rough with feeling. "I could get your daughter killed."
"Then she'll die for something and someone she loves; no one can ask for more than that." Kissing the side of his face, her words were whispered into the night. "You'll always fail those you love. When Anastasia found out you'd snuck off in the night instead of spending Winter Break with us, she cried as if the world was ending. It was days before she'd listen to my excuses for your choice." She stopped him before he could get a word in to defend himself. "I understand your reasons, but you should have had the balls to face us instead of crawling away like a craven dog. You hurt us, failed us, and yet we're still here."
Sighing, she settled on his lap. "You don't love people because they never let you down, if you're looking for that, you'll spend your life alone. The wise love people despite knowing they'll fail and betray them. Sometimes what they do breaks the bonds that tie them together, but even then, the shadow of it remains. Those women love you Cesare, they'd follow you to hell and back if you asked. My daughter would take you to her bed in a heartbeat if you'd bend your stiff neck and realize you already have everything you want. When she realizes she's already given you everything you wanted but the words, you'll be in a world of hurt." Her soft laughter danced down his spin.
Their talk died quietly and unmourned, they'd said what needed saying. They were more than content with the simple joy of holding the other. There were no illusions with Kali, what she wanted, she fought for. She flaunted her loyalties, daring the world to challenge her. She didn't hide that he was far down on her list of must haves, honest that in her world he was a toy, a bit of fluff without power.
The others were shifting shades of gray. With Alexandra and Anastasia, he knew they were growing into their own, dreams blooming under the darkness of slaughter and rain of blood. So much would change for them that anything they felt now was so much mist and shadow. Elizabeth had made it clear he would never be anything but a friend.
Only Kali was solid in her desire and what she wanted. Unwilling to sacrifice her own needs, she pushed him to accept being her lover. A temporary post filled by an endless line of men and women when she was away from him. He'd be nothing more than a place holder.
They knew he'd never take her up on the offer. There was an understanding in their touches and looks. Each was fighting the long war, neither willing to concede the ground, and yet knowing pushing the issue was the same as saying goodbye. They didn't owe the other anything, no promises, no guarantees, no future. Only the moments they shared and nothing beyond it.
"Let me sleep with you tonight," Kali asked.
Cesare's head jerked up in surprise, meeting dark eyes. The complications ran rampant through his head, other boys seeing her enter his room, breaking the rules in letting a woman into the Serpens Lacum, how the girls would react, getting her out in the morning, and the inevitable change in their relationship. It would fuck everything up and she knew it.
He should tell her no; he didn't owe her this. The thought that she wanted to spend the night with him because she'd tossed Viktor aside slid poisonously through his thoughts. But even before today she'd offered to let him be her steady thing when she visited. He didn't have to let her have this, but she hadn't needed to help him the times he'd come to her hat in hand.
"I call the shots," Cesare said, agreement implicit in the words.
"Of course," she said quickly, without a shade of deception. Kali knew she was pushing him all the way to the edge of the blade. It wasn't the sleeping with him; it was making himself vulnerable to another person.
Kali was in the worst spot she could think of. Competing with other woman who spent their days with the man she wanted. They had every opportunity to show him with actions and words that they were worth trusting. She was left with small windows that opened and closed so quickly she was left breathlessly trying to make the most of them. The others could fail over and over because there would always be another chance, she had to thrive in those slivers of time.
Getting up, he looked at the bladed shades of her harem. "You're going to have to send them away."
Kali nodded ,picking out Nzinga's red eye shine in the mass of glowing, glossy eyes. "Go back to Vagabonds Exile, I'll collect you out in front of the Serpens Lacum tomorrow." The harem exchanged uneasy looks as they left, a few of them eyeing Cesare with mounting fury before stalking away. "And bring me a change of clothes when you come," Kali said as they stormed off.
Walking through the darkness alone with Kali was a new experience. If his mind wasn't racing with plans and ideas on how to avoid the sheer mountain of shit coming, he'd have enjoyed it. As it was, they arrived at the dorm far sooner than he'd thought.
Dark from the outside, the Serpens Lacum was a castle of shadows and leering snakes, fangs picked out in the deeper darkness. Despite its quiet, kids would still be up, talking, playing, studying, and taking bets on tomorrows fights. Sighing in resignation, Cesare pushed the door open. He wanted to walk as quickly as he could and hope they could squirrel their way into the room without anyone seeing. Despite his feelings, he didn't rush Kali as she stepped into the dorm.
Partly it was logistics, she was dressed in twelve layers of fabric and a shuffling, slow walk, was about as fast as she could go. The real reason was that he simply wouldn't disgrace her. He wouldn't pretend that she wasn't with him, wouldn't let her think he was embarrassed to be with her, that she wasn't special, worth showing off.
Instead of scurrying up the stairs like he wanted, he walked beside her, muscles wound tight and ready. He almost stretched out for Aleph to map the area around him, but that would only add a layer of anticipation he didn't need. No, he'd do this as just another man with a woman.
Surprisingly, Lady Luck smiled, and they arrived at his room without seeing a soul. Opening the door a crack, Cesare released the trip wires, strings twanging with released tension. Kali gave him a close look as he disabled the bombs. Gliding into the room, her eyes lingered on the bare walls, taking in the cell like bareness of the room, before settling on the bombs attached to the door.
Closing the door behind him, Cesare kneeled beside the small packages, taking the detonators out and neutralizing the bombs. "Do you always explosive traps when you leave your room?" Kali asked from behind him.
"I left my bag behind tonight. Besides, it never hurts to be paranoid," Cesare said as the last trap was broken down into its component parts.
Collecting his sweats and a long t-shirt to sleep in he headed to the door. "I'm going to get cleaned up. Do you need anything?"
Laughing, she gave him an arch look, a comment armed and ready on her lips. Taking pity, she stowed it for another time. "No, I went to the bathroom before we left the party."
Hesitating on the threshold, his words were quiet. "You planned this?'
Her smile widened, taking on a victorious light. "Let's say, that I was planning on being ready if you took a chance."
Returning her smile, he slipped out the door. Resting in the shower with the hot water pouring down his body, he realized what he'd done. It had been a bad idea to bring Kali back to his dorm, it set a precedent he'd never wanted, and it was going to cause a storm of problems. Not just with the others, but with the school when they found out, and it was only a matter of time before they did. With his luck, it would be sooner rather than later.
Even with those problems snapping and writhing through his mind, he couldn't help the bounce in his step or the jaunty smile that wouldn't quite go away. Standing outside his door, Cesare breathed in long and slow before letting it out. A passing student gave him a sideways look of curiosity before catching Cesare's eye and hurrying down the hallway. Glaring after the boy, Cesare opened the door, and stared at the vision before him, uncaring that someone might come up behind him.
Kali stood in front of the window, the frozen moonlight shining across her alabaster body in all its delicate perfection. She kept her back to him, letting him soak in the smooth spill of inky hair that glittered like naked malice down her back, ghosting across the swell of her ass. Standing high and firm, her ass was without a hint of muscle. She was tiny, and in the way of all small woman, perfectly, impossibly, well proportioned.
Closing the door behind him, his steps kissed the floor, grace and power running through each silent stride as he came up behind her. His hands caressed over fever hot shoulders, tight muscles speaking of a tension and insecurity she'd never give voice to. A low sigh escaped her mouth at his touch, a relaxing more felt than seen.
Gliding down her arms and the sweet contours of her diminutive body, his hand wantonly drank in her body. She lifted her hands away as he came to them, offering him the choice between courage and common sense. Taking his heart with both hands, he laid his hands on her naked hips, supple flesh molding to his calloused grip.
"You're beautiful," Cesare whispered.
Kali laughed low and throaty. "A woman loves to hear that from a man she likes and loathes it from those she doesn't." Meeting her eyes in the mirrored window, the darkness off her soul pulled Cesare into their depths. "When a woman's naked in your room, you know which side you stand on."
Closing the last bit of distance, Cesare brought them flush against each other. Hot and soft, she fit against him with the perfection of destiny, his growing hardness pushing into her soft surrender. His fingers kneaded into her soft flesh, griping along her hips, longing to close the distance to her core. His teeth nipped at the side of her neck; a low moan whispered from her lips as she titled her head, offering up the milky canvas to him.
"You're awfully forward," she breathed in a whisper.
Warm whispers of laughter ran over her skin as she cut off a whine of need. "You did say I was in control." Tasting the sweet skin of her jugular, the briefest touch of tongue enough to whet an appetite but nowhere near satisfying the hunger.
Relaxing into his grip, she luxuriated in his kisses along her neck. He could feel her thinking over his words even as her body ran hot with want. "Is that what you need Cesare?" she said, going quiet at his lack of response. "Control?"
Flexing his hands, he felt the strong muscle under his fingers. "I don't care about your money, power, or who you control and command. Between us, in this space, I can't be your equal or your subordinate, that was burned out of me long ago. I call the shots when it's about us or we call this quits," Cesare said, smoky words dimming the moonlight as his need stained the air.
"I'm not my daughter, Cesare," Kali said, hands caressing along the coarse skin of his fingers. "I've had thousands of relationships. Been dominant, submissive, equal, and every shade of gray between. Licked the boots of my master and had them kiss my ass before I sat down. Threesomes, foursomes, and orgies, everything you can imagine, and something's that are illegal in every country in the world."
She pulled his hands, asking instead of demanding, sliding down her hips along silky inner thigh. Heat radiated from her core, a sweltering, wet warmth that promised and begged even as it demanded. She was as hairless as a snake, his fingers gliding along the lips of her sex. Engorged with blood, they slide between his fingers, wanton and ready.
"You want control." She breathed out as she felt his fingers drawing patterns along her inner thighs. "Call the shots and set the pace, if that's what you need, I give it gladly. Because what I need is you, that's what I want out of this, Cesare. I want you." Her scent was threaded with the musky desire. Her fingers caressed over his hands, urging and teasing. She wanted more than petting.
"You know I can't be with you while you welcome others," Cesare said, breathing the words into being, unwilling to dance around the issue between them. "I won't, can't, play second fiddle in an orchestra."
She nodded acceptance. "I won't give up my life for you, Cesare. You can call the shots and decide when and where we go from here, but I won't change for you." Despite the desire that tugged at their souls, neither would give. Was that the secret to the wash of black desire that welled up inside them when they were together? That they knew they'd never have anything real, forbidden fruit always tasted the sweetest.
Cesare pulled back from the moment, slowly stepping away from that burning desire, the dark tide that threatened to take his feet out from under him. He wouldn't go any further with her, not tonight, maybe never. He wouldn't give her what meant everything to him. All he had was his flesh, giving it to her would mean everything to him, and only a another number to her.
He didn't have anything to give, not a place to live or an honest soul. His body was a scarred wasteland, crisscrossed with reminders of other people's pleasure, fed on by parasitic powers, and defiled by ancient gods. Finally, he was strong enough to choose who he gave pleasure too, and he wouldn't give it to a glutton who saw only another meal. How could Kali ever know how special it was for him when she'd had so many?
His body revolted at stepping away from her scorching heat, she was a fever in his blood, a need that clawed at his mind. To feel her wet warmth around him, her soft yielding to his strength, to have her under him, staring into those dark eyes as he pushed into her. Skin crawled as he set himself against that devouring need.
She turned, facing him with a nervousness that spoke of something he didn't want to think about. How many men had taken that step away? She was beautiful, powerful, and wanton, promising the darkest dreams of man. He didn't think many had or would walk away from what she promised, maybe none. In that moment, he knew tonight meant something to her, maybe even more than him. Taking her hand with a smile, he led her to the bed. It wasn't big, and he had to push into the wall to make room, but it was theirs. Holding the covers open, he invited her in.
Kali's dark eyes swirled with treacherous depths and ancient desires. How could a man of only a few years ever understand a woman, let alone a woman thousands of years older than him? Watching her hesitantly slip into bed, it came to him she wasn't asking for understanding. All he needed was to love her, treat her as a person who meant something more than a place to stick his dick. Care for her as he would anyone that held a piece of his heart. It didn't matter how tough she was, everyone wanted to feel special.
Laying on his back, he opened his arms to her. Taking the invitation for what it was, she cuddled into his side with a kind of shyness all the more powerful because she didn't hide it. Wrapping her legs around his, she shifted her hips, pushing her core into his thigh, wet heat unmistakable in its open invitation. Kali nuzzled his chest, hard nipples digging into his side. She was small like this, a mere slip of a woman, and so very predatory.
Heat radiated off her in waves, washing over him in a tantalizing promise. Her natural sexual attraction pounded into him, a sledgehammer that beat hard with very thump of his heart, twisting his thoughts, conjuring images of fleshy hungers and wanton needs, keeping him hard and ready even as his mind refused the screaming offer. Cesare's fingertips drew along the silky skin of her back, tracing down to the swell of her ass before starting back up. She was as tempting as one last hit of meth before you quit, when your body quivers and your mind trembles like a toad on a hot griddle.
"Tell me about your life," Kali asked, words whispering across his skin.
There was a lot he didn't think he'd tell anyone, but not all of it was darkness and terror, scars and degradation. As the night got long, he held her with only the moonlight to illumine them as he talked about the good times on the road and the people he'd met. He talked about sunrises that come up over the desert, the joys of waking up in the woods without a person around, the comfort of a warm shelter and good men doing god's work for no pay.