It is morning in the southwest continent. R.J. Green has just come back from his first session of exercises. Preparing his coffee, he thinks about the past and the future. In the house that he finally felt "I did it!", R.J. could never believe the reality that was out there. A reality he didn't plan for himself, and was much different than what he had expected. A reality that could colour the moon in diamond or wash it in blood.

At the orange table of his home office, R.J. Green would write about his life:

"I had many women in my life, and honestly I doubt I can choose who was the best. Academically speaking, the best does not exist, and it's not even that, it's just that they were all fantastic.

As an early teenager, I couldn't feel that one day I'd be with a perfect woman. Adolescents are funny. The first girls I had were not the ones I was looking for and my first girlfriend was not what I was after, although she was much better. The best, one day they would appear, for my self-esteem and, I believe, for my coffee with the moon.

Life shows. I grew, at some point I started to smoke and I believe a man becomes a man when he reaches thirty. Women are princesses, it's different. It's smoking that I write, and cigarettes and coffee make the perfect combination, for me at least. About coffee, I cannot see myself spending one day without it.

The first thing after waking up, my companion all day long, the drink that closes the afternoon, etc. Coffee is better than beer, for it keeps me sharp. A drunk writer is a sad writer. And what do I write about? Women, as you could have guessed by now. I'm single and although I wanted to marry and have children before, now it's a different story. And this story is one of love, of admiration, of the beautiful.

Women are dimensions and colours of feelings, countours, depressions, expressions and intersection points. Although the planet is blue and some may argue, poetically, that reality is blue as well, i see women as hazel like the moon. I'll tell you about women of hazel eyes, some that impressed me, here in my new house, in this city by the sea.

I grew by the coast. After a rich childhood, and after my father bankrupting, I spent my entire life without cash. Thoughts on equality, evolution and the unfairness of capitalism were frequent. After more than forty years, my own house showed me what life is for. My house was in a small city by the sea where I spent my time with early morning exercises and music. A man who smokes needs to stay fit, I'd say. Walking early, like I do everyday, I once met a young woman that showed me the difference between beautiful and miraculous. She reminded me of a French woman I once got hooked. That, in appearance. She was much younger than the French woman, Brazilian of white skin with the eyes of a cat. Her name? Sophie. It was a fine jogging morning for her, I'd say, and smoking and walking for me that I saw her. It's walking and jogging everyday early in the morning that I see the attractive women of the city. Some that could ruin a man's life.

One day, I, a strong tall man, passed by this brunette that had the eyes of thunder. Jokingly, I "meowed" right by her left ear while passing by her. Looking back, for she was jogging, I could feel I had caught her attention. She was much younger than me, a young woman in her early twenties, with the vivacity that our people have and the energy of young tigers at their prime. She looked to me like a Brazilian-Native Indian feline of vigour, sexy like a female version of the devil, serious like the sky. Many day I'd pass by her. I, smoking my cigarettes, she, jogging for fitness. She avoided my glaze at all costs and looking at her in the eye became the reason of my early morning.

Before her, there was a woman of my age doing her morning exercises that caught my attention. This one, an Asian goddess of diamond-like features, was the object of my thoughts for months. I saw her twice only, and I didn't dare to speak to her. Unusual of me, I laugh. She was not thunder like Sophie, but more like water, or the morning wind. Anthropologically, Asians are impressively intelligent and I felt her intelligence of body and sensitivity. I wonder what's her name, and I roleplay in my mind how she speaks. I remember sort of the two words in Japanese I know, "shiro" and "kuro" and I believe she's Thailandese but I might be wrong. She has perfect body coordination, medium-sized breasts and if my eyes couldn't meet the ones of Sophie, imagine her eyes. I believe she would like me, for I'm sensitive, romantic. She is probably methodic and I might need that.

How can I forget of the young woman, even younger than Sophie, that I called of my eternal muse? This one, whose name was Marine, was the one I'd see through the the window of my thoughts. She was perfect, of the perfect age, fighting for her future. For her, I feel paternal love. She felt to me like a princess of America, proud, strong, bursting. While I'm coffee, she's cigarettes. She reminded me of true blue, and there are not many things more beautiful. She was different than the other girls of her age, stronger.

In the early morning walks, you'd be surprised by the number of beauties that sometimes appear. The most beautiful, they look like cats watching the Diamond Moon."

About the past years, R.J. Green wrote:

"The world is in turmoil. Moreover, looks like it is ongoing a silent revolution. A revolution of minds, of quantum physics, of flesh and of behaviour.

The old formulae of growing up, getting a job and constituting a family is broken. The results of an indiscriminate capitalism of first the USA, then China and the rest of the world is an evil humankind. If before we were naive, now we're surrounded by smartasses, streetsmart thugs of no character and the mentality of illegal corporate gang members. They see themselves as stars of a fictional world they believe. However, this world has been proposed before them. By whom? With what goals?

It was during the seventies, with the advent of computers that this all started.

DNA procedures and computers, the discoveries of a science that was far from solving our problems as it proposed. Mainstream and underground entertainment made sure the minds of the young were distracted, lost in propositions that wouldn't be good for them, but would fuel the machine of a financial corporate flesh mowing world. The young should have done something about it, maybe they just could not, maybe they were cowards. Worse, was all those fooled by a world that would never be good for them.

When I arrived in the southwest, back from three years in London and with a master's degree under my arm, my first impressions could be summarised by one word: "awkwardness". The world that was once my world was then very far from my reality. Children-minded beach thugs were all I'd find around me. I expected serious mature people, but I found lost people behaving like barking street dogs.

I immediately looked for a job and to my surprise, I couldn't find any. Later I came to know that those I knew, those I call of childish barking street dogs, were blocking every and all forms of my success. The reason, that even them did not know: curiosity, envy.

The southwest is an immature place. It has one rule: "the rule of the streetsmart". It is a city of thugs, of dirty beach behaviour, of envy. People of my age group dream of abroad, of Europe, of New York and Los Angeles. They dream of a life they could not have, a life they believe they understand.

I was then tortured, beaten (more than once), excluded. It must be evident to them that I'm different. They must think I'm superior.

They work in gangs, cheating, smuggling, backstabbing. Can't they see they're getting old for what they do? They're a product of capitalism, a capitalism washed over the heads of cariocas from the gutters of the USA up north. They see success as party-goods accumulation, life as "we live for today" and are absent of complex reasoning. In the end, they're murderous evil, and I'm good. Nothing I can do about that".

The next morning, he was wondering about his future:

"I remember when I started to smoke. I was thirty or so and totally frustrated. I'd see myself as a highly qualified person and couldn't understand why I wouldn't get a proper job. At some point I started to believe there were forces acting against me. The point of who was blocking my path to success led to an easy thought process. It must be those people, who else?

Half a lifetime before, in London, I'd get entangled in a web of evil when having relationships of the wrong kind. To my half-surprise, these people had ties to others I've known for a long time. Some people are like parasites, living on the suffering of others. The pain of some is indeed the pleasure of others.

When you add big cash to the equation, you have no idea the proportion things can have.

And there was big cash involved.

These twisted people made sure I'd never get anywhere with my life, and there's nothing I could have done about it. I'm not a murderer, and even if I got rid of one of them, what about the others?

Notwithstanding, time is passing, I'm not young anymore, and on these days of COVID mutating viruses that sound like companies from the "Terminator" movies, sanity seems like luxury. I spend my time thinking about doing a doctorate, pursuing a career in linguistics and writing, but these people live of harming others.

I try to focus on love, on the beautiful out there, but other than the beautiful women passing by, good seems to be somewhere else.

In fits of anger, I broke all my electronic devices, luckily my house stays up on the ground.

About the world, it really looks like a revolution, as if the ones in power had planted a situation of global chaos with a purpose in their minds. A new "home office" system might be what they intend after this murderous pandemic scenario. The old "create chaos and bring the solution" seems to be happening right now. Unfortunately, I'm caught in the middle of this. Thanks God I have coffee, cigarettes and the beautiful women jogging. On the internet there are rumours ofconspiratio, as usual.Th matters in evidence now: a supposed governmental project called 'Therapipe', the purposedness of COVID and the plans of the powerful for a planet being swallowed by the sea.

Let's start with the start: the oceans are rising and every educated person knows that. What will become of the planet in, let's say, one or two hundred years is not a subject for science fiction, but of the interest of every human being who worries about the future.

I, who live by the sea, wonder what will be left of the coast in the future. Many blame the impossibility of reversing measures to what they call of 'the processes'. That is nothing other than the excuse of the powerful for continuing the centuries of abuse on us and the planet. It was once a time of global exploration, it should be now a time of joining. While humankind evolves, while we become better reasoning people, surprisingly or not evil also grows. We are becoming increasingly sensitive, but there is nothing sensitive in the violence our there. These things just don't match. Peace of mind is nowhere to be found and the ones to be blamed are the ones as usual, the powerful in charge.

Another night was coming and R.J. kept writing:

"Loneliness can be very overwhelming. Sometimes too much sleep, sometimes too little, although waking up at three a.m. seems to be a rule. The feeling of being somewhere you don't belong is something I really don't recommend.

Tracing a path back on what happened to my life, I wonder what I did wrong. My veredict: It was definitely not my fault. I did the right thing, I looked for love, I tried to feel and understand it. I tried to see through others eyes, putting myself in their position, it just seems they've been living in a reality different than mine. Amongst other things, while my quest was for good, they seem to have gone the other way, as if looking for Nietzsche's 'Will to power' or something like that.

Now it's been more than forty years going in a direction that feels opposite to everyone else.

If we learn from hurt, I must be a master of something.

These days I just think of having a peaceful woman by my side. Ten years ago I used to think about having children, now it's different. Changing the subject, it is impressive how I got fit from walking early in the morning all those months, specially if you consider I was smoking all along. But my coffee is not tasting good as before and buying an expresso everyday is expensive.

As a pastime, I have this shitty mobile. It's great for listening to music and checking the news. Music is fantastic, specially when I'm

walking and have earplugs on. It sure makes the vibe different.

In times of forever COVID, everyone seems to have gone mad. The old chatting and getting along was replaced by a fearful mask wearing silence. And what could a single man on his forties do in this situation? On the other hand, the weather is always fantastic, with beautiful skies and warm temperatures. Interesting enough, here about two thousand people die everyday of COVID. The news talk about vaccines but it feels like the disease will go on forever. Funny to watch the space race while half of humankind is dying in cheap hospitals.

If we're all one living organism, it is now an ill organism indeed. And if this disease was made on purpose, it is sure breaking records of evil. I wonder. I'll pray for the sun of Ra and hope It shows me the way."