It was cold. And dark. And she was hungry. Ravenous for anything, food, water, connection. The emptiness creeped in like bugs into the dead rib cavity of her corpse and she could feel it eating away at her. She wanted someone, something to consume entirely and yet there she sat in the dark cell, starving.
If she could go back in time she would. To clean her wrists of the cuff marks, the scars on her back from the punishments, not that it could cleanse her mind of the past. She wanted to go back to the prim dresses, to abstain from it all, to live simpler.
She dreamed of an alternative, but it would not change her fate.
"If only you knew, maybe you could have saved yourself," the voice whispered in the shadows. The shadows were loud without anything to drown them out. The shadows were surrounding and encompassing her, a cacophony of condescension that did just enough to drive her insane. She curled into herself, arms around her legs, head to her chest, wet tears falling next to her. Her tears continued as footsteps echoed down the hall and the sickening giggles became loud.
"Oh darling why come down here now? The ceremony's not for another day," a feminine voice filled the cell, not of the woman curled in fetal position but the one in heels and dripping diamonds on the other side of the bars. Whether the ceremony was Kaira's execution or the two in front of hers' marriage, she didn't know and didn't care. The man next to the shining woman, pulled her into his chest and smiled, a look that didn't quite reach his eyes as he stared at the woman on the ground.
"I thought we might give our dear Lady Archaeros an update on the world outside her lavished room," the man said into the woman's ear, uncaring of the way Kaira lurched away from them. Crown prince Alexander Regalis, blond and perfect, kept his eyes trained on the woman in front of him and his bride. She was exactly where they wanted her and no matter how much she begged or pleaded she would never get reprieve.
"Aw well, in that case, dear sister, you ought to know that we've decided how to proceed. First we're going to get married in front of all of Ludiphel and then we plan to hold the execution of the traitor who tried to kill the crown princess. I become the queen I deserve to be, and you get to finally make the sacrifice necessary for the good of the crown."
"Now, now, you can't be calling her sister after everything she's done, Addy! At least after tomorrow you won't have to deal with her ever again," the man pulled 'Addy' away from the cell door and shot a withering look to Kaira. He steps up to the door and crouches, almost eye level with Kaira and slides an object under the door.
"If you know your chances, here's a way out before the execution, if you wanna die with any dignity at all."
They walk away, echoes of their shoes clacks and the glint of the knife disappearing as their light goes away. The shadows wrap around her once again filling her mind and ears. Only one slash and it would be over. You could be free, alone, happy. You could see Rand and Flint.
As if she was a puppet, Kaira felt the weight of the knife in her hand appear, the soft handle juxtapose the hard sharp metal. One little movement and she could finally be free. She was magnetized to it, pulled it up to her neck
And
Slash.
Blood gushes and she gags on the taste of iron. The cold floor slams into her face and the abrasive dirt scratches her. With the cold seeping in, she finally realizes.
She doesn't want to die.
She doesn't want to leave a legacy as a thief, attempted killer and bitch. She wants to get her life back, but more than that she wants revenge. She feels colder, the heat she already lacked becoming more prevalent and the light fades. Three was no hope but she can dream of better. At last she feels cold wrap her in its embrace and the flood of death taking her in its tides.
__________________
The ceiling light was bright above her and the window was open, a breeze coming through. The feeling of cotton sheets on her face and the sweet smell of roses barraged her nostrils and she realized death had a nostalgia to it. Heaven was a place of nostalgia then, or seemed like it until the door slammed and she felt the sheets ripped off her.
Tides are fickle and pull things in. Kaira was not going to be one of them.