Life is crazy. Nobody knows where you'll end up. No one knows what will happen. Not a single soul can tell you what you're up against. I don't know why but I felt my world shatter. Like it happened to me but it didn't, it happened to Alice. My heart broke for her. She waited all this time, she made amends, she righted her wrongs. She did everything right. She didn't deserve this.
~
Josh's Flashback
Two months before meeting Ariel
Alice and I were partying every Friday and Saturday night. She brought along her boytoy Charlie, Charles whatever the fuck, everytime. I usually stayed above people like him. He was a pill popping junkie. He sat in the center, usually on couches in living rooms, at every party. Alice wrapped around his arm as he sold fake drugs to everyone who wanted them. But Alice got them for free of course.
I watched as he fed her yellow, red, blue, and green candy like pills. They'd go upstairs and fuck it out sometimes. I never judged her for doing what she wanted to do. But I judged him for taking advantage of everyone, including her, like that.
One night things got ugly.
We were at Jeremey's , another dealer from another school, it was a hotspot for parties on fridays. I was on the couch talking to some girl, Malin, when at the corner of my eye I saw Charles rushing down the stairs.
I excused myself and Malin pouted.
"Boo!" She takes a sip out of her cup. "I guess you don't want drunk sloppy toppy." She slurred a little. She was cute, she'll get laid tonight. Just not by me.
I rush upstairs to find Alice passed out, sprawled in an uncomfortable position. Her skin tight dress was all messed up. It was riding up from behind and a strap was falling. I go to her and shake. But I see blood and puke beside her. I immediately place her over my shoulder and rush downstairs. I ask Malin if she drove. She did and I snatched her car keys. Promising to pick her up when she called.
When I got to the hospital, they told me she had overdosed.
They asked me a shit load of questions. What was I doing, what drugs was she on, was I with her, if not me then who was, how long was she unconscious, and if I knew who she was getting her drugs from.
"I saw Charlie Hodge rushing out of the room, I ran up to check it out since they're fuck buddies. I found her passed out with puke and blood near her mouth. I don't know what they did but I know he sells drugs."
"Thank you for complying," the nurse said. She told the police whom called her parents and arrested Charlie.
I waited for three hours. They pumped her stomach and we're having her stay for a few days.
"Can I please see her?" I begged, tears falling from my eyes.
"Don't tell anyone. Only doing this for Sarah," the nurse said and walked me to Alice's room. She walked off once I opened the door.
She was almost pale with fucked up eyeliner and watching the tv while laying in bed.
"I had to know how you were doing." I say.
"I'm still here aren't I?" She laughs.
"Not funny," I snap. "You almost died!"
"I should've," she mumbled. A single tear dropped from her right eye.
"Don't say that," I say more sternly.
"It's true," she laughs. "My dad doesn't even love me anymore. He loves my younger sister more. Shit my mom didn't even love me." She sighs. "I don't have a reason for being here."
"That's not true. You have me," I sit beside her and hold her hand. "I love you so much. You're the bestest friend I've ever had." I sigh and I feel myself get sad for her. "I'll always be here, no matter what."
~
Ariel
It was right in the middle of the day. It was bright outside, the sun was finally coming out and the snow was slowly melting. Spring was approaching.
I got a call from Sara who told me Alice was in the hospital about to give birth. She was dilated at 6 centimeters and had been there for four hours. I rushed over.
When I arrived at the hospital, everyone was there. Alice's dad and step mom, Josh, Sara, and of course Cheri. Cheri stood up and immediately tried to hug me. "You're so big," she beams. I wouldn't hug her back even if I could, she was holding down my arms in her hug.
"You're almost as big as Alice was," Sara says. "You have to watch your diet with a fetus growing in your body."
"Mom really?" Josh jumps in. "Ariel," his tone changes joyfully. He hugs me.
"How is she?" I ask.
"Great great. Just ummm.." he grabs my hand and walks us a couple feet away, "the baby is in breech." Which meant Alice would have to do a c section because it was risky.
"She never told me," I say shocked. We went to all of our visits together.
"I guess the doctor thought it would turn before labor. It didn't," he wipes his forehead. He's scared.
"Everything will be fine," I grab his hand. He looks at me. Almost like we used to before we kissed. "You guys will raise a beautiful child together."
He squeezes my hands and a tear drops from his left eye. I wipe it for him. Then touch his cheek. "You'll be the best dad ever," I smile. My eyes get warm and my throat feels like I dry swallowed a huge pill.
He escapes when a doctor tells him another centimeter went up.
Cheri walks up to me.
"You coming to the wedding?" She asks with her arms crossed. Sara is still sitting where she was, pretending to look at a magazine but really trying to eavesdrop.
"I wouldn't exactly say I'm welcomed by the bride?" I laugh. "If that's how it works, which it seems like it does."
"You know I am sorry." She says quietly.
"About what part exactly?" I tilt my head.
"Everything. I should've supported you but instead I abandoned you." Her arms start to wave around. "Just like your mom. I don't want to have that strained relationship with you. You're like my daughter."
And maybe it was the fact that I was pregnant and my emotions were extremely heightened. Or maybe that I felt alone and I missed having someone. But I forgave her anyways, because I didn't want that for our relationship either. She was the only thing close to a parent I have.
I start to sob and I pull her in and hug her tightly. She wraps her arms around mine. We are both crying on each other's shoulders. She pulls away for and grabs my hands with hers.
"Sara will just have to get over you and Josh."
"Well just me cause there's no more Josh." I laugh but mostly I'm embarrassed.
"What are you talking about? He asked Sara if he could invite you as a date." She smiles. "That's why she mailed the invitation in the first place."
"You're lying," I don't believe her and I let out a laugh in disbelief. "He said he just wants to be friends."
"Well he ordered flowers off some site a couple days ago. They'll take a couple weeks to arrive." She winks. "Now enough drama. Go be with Alice, she'll need your hand to squeeze." She laughs.
I go see Alice and in her room. Josh and a nurse are in there. Josh is sitting on the couch while the nurse is checking on Alice.
"You know since it's in a breech position, we strongly recommend a C section. It's a little risky if you decide to deliver it naturally…" the nurse went on but I muted her out. Josh looked extremely hurt, almost broken. Alice looked worst even. Like her heart was torn out. I chose to walk next to Alice and squeezed her hand.
"I love you," she says.
"I love you too." I smile. She's been crying.
"I can't have a c section on my body. I just can't." She sobs. "Everyone will mock me. My body would be ruined. I'm only eighteen for fucks sake!" She begins to groan then scream in pain. Another contraction.
"That's another centimeter guys! Three more to go," the nurse cheers Alice on.
"I need that damn epidural!" Alice shouts. "Now lady! Please for fucks sake!!!" She's clenching hard onto my hand that it actually starts to hurt.
"Ouch," I wince when she finally lets go.
"Fuck! I'm so sorry!" She laughs but says the words angrily. I can't help but laugh too as I rub my hand. Maybe I don't want to comfort her. Honestly watching her is making me freak out inside. I don't want to go through this pain but I know it's coming sooner than ever.
"Maybe I should just sit next to Josh." I giggle. I grab a squeaky duck and hand it to her. "Squeeze away."
"I just wanna tell you how grateful I am for you. For everything. I hope you know how much your friendship means to me." Alice starts to cry again. I hug her. "I'm so scared." She whispers to me. "I'm worried," she nudges me to look at Josh.
"Don't be. Everything will be fine," I try to assure her. But when I look at Josh, I feel like I'm lying.
I sit next to Josh and hold his hand as I watch the nurse inject what I assume was an epidural into Alice's spine.
"This should help with the contractions and some of the birth. You will still feel pain," the nurse reminds Alice.
"Tell me nurse. Is my baby going to be okay?"
"There's a very low percentage something could go wrong. I highly doubt anything will happen to that cute baby. Just remember you CAN do this."
When Alice finally reaches nine inches, her dad joins us. A few more nurses and doctors came into the room. They were nice enough to let me stay in the room. We had to suit up with a blue gown with a matching hat, gloves, and a mask. All three of us looked like a part of the delivery team. There was a male doctor delivering the baby while the nurse and others were doing other things. It was a little hectic. Alice and Josh agreed that I could cut the umbilical cord and I was looking forward to it.
"It's time," the doctor crouched near Alice's vagina says.
"Are you ready?" Alice's dad asks.
"I don't think I'll ever be ready," she cries out.
"Tough shit. If anyone can do this, it's you!" He looks at her like he's proud. "Now push!"
"Start pushing Alice! I wanna see a healthy boy!" The doctor says.
"You can do this!" I say in support
"I already know he's going to be handsome," Josh squeezes Alice's hand.
Alice smiles at all of us and then inhales and exhales three times before she starts pushing and making loud grunting noises.
She keeps pushing for about thirty minutes and still there's no baby. She's covered in sweat, her hair is a mess, and she's sobbing and in pain. She looks like she's ready to quit.
"I…can't.." she sighs and sobs between her words.
"Yes you can god damn it. You're a Winnie, we do not quit!" Her dad shouts. "Give me my grandson!" I can't help but let out a small smile.
So Alice continues pushing, Josh continues worrying. And just when Alice finally manages to squeeze the legs out, machines start beeping.
"Oh no." One of the doctors near the monitor says.
"What do you mean oh no??" Alice says. The doctor says nothing and they're all running around like chickens with their heads cut off. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN OH NO DOCTOR? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!"
"You need to push him out now. Alice. Please focus. Push him out now. It's critical." The doctor says.
"I can't. Please tell me what's wrong?" Alice cries. She's sobbing. Josh is losing it.
"His heart rate is dropping as we speak. We're wasting precious time god damn it. Push now Alice !!"
She managed to push the baby out but it was silent. No tears or cheers, not even a whaling baby, it was pure silence. I'm the only one that bothers looking down and I see the cord wrapped around the babies neck as his skin is purple.